- Gary West: Guys, even if I didn't look like the cover of an Iron Maiden album, I wouldn't want to live like this.
- Eric Bemis: Luckily, my mom forced me to go to acting camp when I was 8, and then I went back electively for five more years.
- Joel Hammond: Tommy bravely served our country and we all owe him a debt of gratitude.
- Sheila Hammond: That's right. He was in Operation Desert Thunder!
- Joel Hammond: Storm.
- Sheila Hammond: He was in Operation Desert Thunderstorm!
- Joel Hammond: Drop the Thunder.
- Sheila Hammond: Operation Drop the Thunder!
- Joel Hammond: Desert Storm. Operation Desert Thunderstorm. Goddamnit!
- Joel Hammond: On the other hand, if we saw a plane hurtling towards someone's house, wouldn't we warn the people inside?
- Sheila Hammond: What if when we knock on their door, they threaten to make non-consensual love to our skulls?
- Joel Hammond: If it's non-consensual, it wouldn't be love.
- Sheila Hammond: Good point, sweetie.
- Joel Hammond: It just seemed important to say.
- Joel Hammond: Chris and Christa are here.
- Sheila Hammond: Great. Let's go save her life so she can die naturally one day in a tanning bed accident.
- Joel Hammond: Sheila wants to bite me so we'll always be together.
- Gary West: Whoa. Do you want to be undead?
- Joel Hammond: I want to be with her, but killing people and eating them? Like, even their butts and stuff?
- Gary West: Oh, but don't worry. When you're undead, butts will taste like... Well, they'll taste like butts but you'll be way into it.