Broke Straight Boys TV (TV Series)

Welcome to Broke Straight Boys (2014)

Kaden Alexander: Self (model)

Quotes 

• Himself (model) : We're, like, just a big, weird, close-knit family - that has sex with each other for money.

• Herself (house mom) : [getting ready to leave the testing clinic]  You guys are being so good.

  Himself (model) : Thank you.

  Herself (house mom) : [to the medical receptionist]  Do you guys have suckers.

  Himself (model) : [off to the side]  Yeah, there's six of 'em right here. Heh-heh. Ba-dum ksh!

• Himself (model) : Oh, what's up, guys? Welcome to Keepin' It Cool with Kaden. Now, I bet all you all pretty sissy boys out there are wonderin' how a manly straight boy like me does some gay porn. Well, first thing first, my friend, you're gonna need a laptop - and this, my friend, is for all of your straight porn needs. You gotta get some big titties, your big ass bouncin' up and down all over the screen. That'll get you started on your way to gettin' hard. Second thing you need is a nice assortment of lubes. Myself, personally, I like to start off with a nice, cooling peppermint. And if you're feeling a little bit fruity, you could even go with a nice little tasty strawberry-kiwi. And if you're feelin' like you need to get kinda drunk while doin' a scene - 'cause a lotta times that would probably help, although we can't drink on set - you can go with a nice piña colada. Now with all these assortment of lubes, and ya got your laptop, ya got your big titties, ya got your big ass bouncin' all over the screen, you're not gonna get hard, because you're about to fuck another dude - so whadda ya turn to? You have your nice, grade-a, Chinese, dick-hardening pills, my friend. Now this shit will get you hard in the middle of an ice storm; so, eh-heh-heh, this is Keepin' It Cool with Kaden, and if you guys wanna be a top, just follow my lead.

• Drag Queen 1 : Drag queens are like 90% duct tape. Yup.

  Himself (model) : Really.

  Drag Queen 2 : Yeah. Everything.

  Drag Queen 1 : Basically, I'm tucked so tight right now, if I were to fart, my dick would inflate.

• Himself (model) : [silly drunk at a party, thrust-dancing in their thongs]  We really wasn't just touchin' dicks.

  Himself (model) : That shit didn't happen.