- Himself (owner): Basically in 1996 I was, uh, kind of dealing with being gay, but I also wanted my own business; so, I was in the chat rooms and kind of looking for, like, love and, um, basically everyone on there just wanted sex; so, I got f'ustrated one day and I was, like, "Well, shit, I should just sell sex, 'cause that's what everyone wants."
- Himself (COO): Two times a month, we have, uh, the models in the house. This is their headquarters, uh, before they go to the studio. Um, the studio is in the area as well.
- Herself (house mom): [of the boys] It's my job to make them feel comfortable. If they don't feel comfortable here, they probably don't perform well in the studio, and that's what we want to prevent.
- Himself (COO): Uh, this is, um, pretty amazing that some of the guys that come in, they don't know what to think; so, w... you know, we want them to be very comfortable here, but we also want them to understand that they're here to, you know, have fun but also work.
- Himself (model): We're, like, just a big, weird, close-knit family - that has sex with each other for money.
- Himself (model): Uhh, I wish I was bi at least so I could perform better and people wouldn't hate on me so bad, but, uh, unfortunately I'm 100% straight.
- Himself (model): My sister passed away when I was ten. She wasn't just my little sister, she was my best friend, you know. She was five, she didn't do anything to anybody. Why'd she have to die for? And that's when I started gettin' in ta cage fighting, and... fighting, period.
- Himself (model): [just turning 25] I'm gettin'... I'm gettin' old, apparently, as far as this industry goes.
- Himself (model): [later, after others speak about him] This time out here is probably my last time I'll ever film. I'm moving on to other things. Everybody has a life-span in this industry and, uh, this probably gonna be my last time.
- Himself (owner): I've always been really driven to do things the best I can, and I'll do everything I can to be number one, and I won't settle for number two.
- Himself (owner): How could these guys sleep with guys but then be straight? It didn't make sense to me, but then once, like, you meet 'em and hang out with them, you see, like, they do this for work and then, in their real lives, they are straight.
- [en route to drug testing, Jimmy hears about the filming preference for bareback sessions]
- Himself (model): What? Who's doin' bareback? We're not... I'm not doin' that, 'cause Jimmy Johnson uses condoms, buddy. I don't give a fuck.
- Himself (model): 'Cause Jimmy Johnson uses condoms...
- Himself (model): I don't give a god damn what y'all say, 'cause I'm NOT fuckin' no dude without a condom, EVER, in my life, not for a fuckin'... BUNCH of money - well, maybe a bunch of money.
- Himself (model): Yeah, there's always a price.
- [blood shy Jimmy moans, groans, sweats and cries out while getting blood tested, even before the needle touches his arm]
- Himself (model): [after all is over] That was the most entertainment I've had since I've been here. That was awesome. That was great.
- Herself (house mom): [getting ready to leave the testing clinic] You guys are being so good.
- Himself (model): Thank you.
- Herself (house mom): [to the medical receptionist] Do you guys have suckers.
- Himself (model): [off to the side] Yeah, there's six of 'em right here. Heh-heh. Ba-dum ksh!
- Himself (model): Oh, what's up, guys? Welcome to Keepin' It Cool with Kaden. Now, I bet all you all pretty sissy boys out there are wonderin' how a manly straight boy like me does some gay porn. Well, first thing first, my friend, you're gonna need a laptop - and this, my friend, is for all of your straight porn needs. You gotta get some big titties, your big ass bouncin' up and down all over the screen. That'll get you started on your way to gettin' hard. Second thing you need is a nice assortment of lubes. Myself, personally, I like to start off with a nice, cooling peppermint. And if you're feeling a little bit fruity, you could even go with a nice little tasty strawberry-kiwi. And if you're feelin' like you need to get kinda drunk while doin' a scene - 'cause a lotta times that would probably help, although we can't drink on set - you can go with a nice piña colada. Now with all these assortment of lubes, and ya got your laptop, ya got your big titties, ya got your big ass bouncin' all over the screen, you're not gonna get hard, because you're about to fuck another dude - so whadda ya turn to? You have your nice, grade-a, Chinese, dick-hardening pills, my friend. Now this shit will get you hard in the middle of an ice storm; so, eh-heh-heh, this is Keepin' It Cool with Kaden, and if you guys wanna be a top, just follow my lead.
- Himself (CTO): What's currently happening in the industry that is the biggest struggle for us is people download the content and then they file-share. And, so, the thing that we build is being stolen. It's the same thing that you find in the record industry, the recording industry, or the motion picture industry, facing on a much more prevalent scale.
- Himself (CTO): I think that the biggest issue is combating piracy. If users can get it for free, they're not gonna pay for it. I dunno. The music industry had to innovate, you know, and redo things, and I feel like the porn industry - it's in that process. We have to stay on top of the game to be the number one site, you know, that everyone wants to go to. I mean we're... we're basically combating all aspects. We have to do so many things, you know - better models, um, better filming pictures, you know, better editing. We have a great model pool, but we want to improve that. We want the straightest guys, amazing looking, you know, for... you know, a different look for everyone.
- Himself (director): We have, uh, hundreds of applicants per month, but out of those hundreds, you know, one or two might actually become a Broke Straight Boy.
- Himself (COO): It's-it's easy to bang a gay guy, you know - they're ready, you know, to go - but it's more of a challenge to get a straight guy.
- Himself (director): It's a lot more choreographed than people had probably ever imagined.
- Himself (director): [in the studio] We'll do some doggie, head here, butt there, then you're gonna put that foot up, like that. Yep. Grab onto him, go to town - and REALLY go to town, I mean.
- Himself (director): In a sense, the straight guys actually fuck better - even when they're fucking another guy - because they can just turn off everything, get hard, and just slam something.
- Himself (director): [to Cory] And then you're just gonna pull out and nut all over him. Try and hit his face.
- [Cory laughs, uncomfortably]
- Himself (model): [smiling] I'm gon... I'm gonna be trying to hit your face too, so don't worry about it. I probably could, if I wanted to.
- Himself (model): Jimmy and I got the best camaraderie.
- Himself (model): Hell yeah. That's my boy.
- Himself (model): I'm hopin' I ain't gotta fuck him or he ain't gonna fuck me at some point.
- Drag Queen 1: Drag queens are like 90% duct tape. Yup.
- Himself (model): Really.
- Drag Queen 2: Yeah. Everything.
- Drag Queen 1: Basically, I'm tucked so tight right now, if I were to fart, my dick would inflate.
- Himself (model): [silly drunk at a party, thrust-dancing in their thongs] We really wasn't just touchin' dicks.
- Himself (model): That shit didn't happen.