Quotes
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Pat Dugan : Oh, hey, a friendly reminder. Family dinner is at 6:30 tonight. I'm thinking I'll make fish, maybe some salmon or a nice tilapia.
Mike Dugan : How about some fish sticks?
Pat Dugan : No, Mike, because fish sticks...
Mike Dugan : Are awesome. You can't even taste the fish.
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Barbara Whitmore : Hi, I'm home. Just in time for family dinner.
[seeing the kitchen empty]
Barbara Whitmore : Hello?
[finding Mike at the dinner table]
Barbara Whitmore : Mike, where is everyone?
Mike Dugan : [playing on his phone] No idea.
Barbara Whitmore : Did you eat dinner?
[he holds up an empty bag of Cheetos]
Barbara Whitmore : Okay, well, did anyone feed the dog?
[he holds the bag up again]
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Mike Dugan : What am I supposed to do in my room without my games?
Pat Dugan : You know, I was in the middle of real important work, Mike, and when I was your age, we weren't playing games in class.
Mike Dugan : Yeah, back in your day, you didn't have any video...
Pat Dugan : [taking his controller away] You see, that's where you're wrong. It was actually the golden age of video games, and I was down at the arcade playing Asteroids, Donkey Kong, Dig Dug, Defender, Spy Hunter, you name it. But my personal favorite was made by the Rolls-Royce of video game manufacturers. Atari.
Mike Dugan : A what?
Pat Dugan : The game was called "Paperboy", Mike, and I used to play it all day, every day, until one afternoon my father came to me and he said...
Mike Dugan : You were adopted.
Pat Dugan : [sarcastic chuckle] No. He said, "Son, you need to stop feeding quarters into that machine and go make some money of your own. You like this game "Paperboy", how 'bout you try the real thing?". So he got me a paper route.
Mike Dugan : Does this story ever end or does it just keep going on forever?
Pat Dugan : It continues. It doesn't have an ending because you, Mike Dugan, are gonna take up that great family tradition. You're getting a paper route.
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Pat Dugan : I'm loving this Blue Valley oldies station, right?
Mike Dugan : Please, God, make it stop.
Pat Dugan : Yeah, it's pretty good. This DJ is a hoot, huh?
Mike Dugan : Can you change the radio station? They play the same ten songs over and over, and they're all fossilized garbage.
Pat Dugan : You know what? You want a little public radio, you got it. Straight outta Lincoln.
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Pat Dugan : What are you doing down here? I told you to wait in your room until dinner.
Mike Dugan : [taking a bag of Cheetos out of the pantry] Yeah, well, my stomach says it's dinner.
Pat Dugan : Okay, well, I-I'm working on this vegan casserole.
Mike Dugan : Vegan casserole? Big pass. Did I interrupt something important?
Pat Dugan : No. I'm just giving Court a couple of cooking tips.
Courtney Whitmore : Yep, I need 'em. Mmm.
Pat Dugan : [giving Mike some money and taking the Cheetos back] You know what, buddy, why don't you take this, ride your bike up to the store, I'm gonna take these, you get yourself whatever you want, okay?
Mike Dugan : Twenty bucks. Awesome. Anything?
Pat Dugan : You got it. Anything you want. That's an advance on the paper route, okay?
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Mike Dugan : Wait, where's Barbara? I thought this was family dinner and we all had to be home for it.
Pat Dugan : Mike, not tonight, okay?
