Schitt's Creek (TV Series)
Housewarming (2019)
Noah Reid: Patrick Brewer
Quotes
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Patrick Brewer : [playing Spin the Bottle] Yeah, it actually looks like it sorta landed between two people.
Ted Mullens : No, no, no, no! I know exactly who it landed on.
Alexis Rose : Oh, Ted! That's not okay.
Ted Mullens : Man, come here, big guy!
[kisses David on the lips]
Alexis Rose : Oh my fucking G-d.
Patrick Brewer : It looks like the punch needs a refill.
Ted Mullens : Oh hey, I could use a refill too, big guy.
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Patrick Brewer : [Putting his arms around David's neck and David puts his arms around Patrick's neck] I wonder what would have happened if we had met in high school?
David Rose : Well, unless you were into candy ravers with asymmetrical haircuts and a lot of pacifier necklaces, I think our paths crossed at the right time.
[David and Patrick kiss each other]
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David Rose : What's going on here?
Alexis Rose : Mm, things got effed, and we're not having fun anymore.
Stevie Budd : For what it's worth, I'm having a great time.
David Rose : You're like a tsetse fly. Where's your cell phone boyfriend?
Stevie Budd : On my cell phone.
David Rose : [to Patrick] Okay. You're not having fun?
Patrick Brewer : I don't know David, sure.
David Rose : What exactly did I do wrong here?
Alexis Rose : Oh, I don't know. David, mmm, was it the time you kissed my boyfriend? Or... was it the time you kissed my boyfriend?
Stevie Budd : I think it was the time you kissed her boyfriend.
David Rose : Okay, he kissed me! And I was just told to have some fun. So I played the game. I'm sorry that the bottle landed on me.
Patrick Brewer : Hm, technically it landed between you and Stevie, so.
Alexis Rose : Yeah.
David Rose : Okay, so you're upset about this as well, then?
Stevie Budd : Looks like it.
Patrick Brewer : No, I'm not! I'm not upset. I just, I guess I wonder how you would react if the tables were turned.
Alexis Rose : Yeah David, like, what would you do if Patrick and I suddenly kissed at a party?
Patrick Brewer : Yeah?
Stevie Budd : Or Patrick and me?
David Rose : [to Stevie] Okay, we're done with you.
[to Alexis]
David Rose : It was spin the bottle! If Patrick was wasted, and spun the bottle, and it landed on you, and you guys kissed, I wouldn't care.
Alexis Rose : You're lying, David.
David Rose : Okay, is that what needs to happen to clear the air here? You guys need to kiss?
Patrick Brewer : David, let's not be dramatic.
Alexis Rose : Yeah, maybe it does.
David Rose : Well, by all means.
Patrick Brewer : I think it's actually more the principle of the thing...
Alexis Rose : Okay, here we go.
[Alexis takes off her shoes to get closer to Patrick's height]
Patrick Brewer : Is that really...
[Alexis and Patrick share a very awkward kiss]
Alexis Rose : Mmmmmmmm! Yum! That was fun!
Ted Mullens : Hey, are we spinning more bottles?
David Rose : Uh, was that fun for you guys? That like, satisfying?
Patrick Brewer : I was never not okay. So.
Alexis Rose : It was really good for me!
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David Rose : Okay. How long did you envision this game going on for? Because never have I ever been so bored.
Patrick Brewer : Aw, I'm sorry, David, when I suggested the game, I didn't expect that you'd be drinking quite so much. Eating out of the garbage?
David Rose : Okay, I did that in front of you last night. Now, as a participant, if we don't change the game soon, I'm gonna get very drunk.