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Reviews
Tropic Thunder (2008)
Phew! Truly a stinker!
Based on the trailer I wanted to see this as it promised to be funny. So much star power, so much effort, so many good movies to parody and steal from. what an absolutely abysmal execution. Further insult was the inside jokes for those of us experienced in the film/TV/Theatre industry that just fell flat. C'mom how can you screw those up. I can't fault the actors as they were doing the best with what they had. What an awful script. For a moment I couldn't believe that Ethan Cohen was the writer. Then I realized that it was ETAN Cohen. I pity the the editors who put this together, especially considering this was the best of what was shot.
4: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)
Unbelievably Awful.
Unbelievably Awful.
My two favorite comic book characters were Peter Parker and Ben Grimm and the FF4. Well the movie makers have done OK by Peter. All I can say is poor poor Ben and the other three. This script was so bad it seemed written by a financial boardroom made up of 8-year-oldsmake that 5-year-olds the thinking was so childlike. The best performance was by a computer-generated character, and the attempts at humour would be intellectually insulting to an imbecile. I can only assume Chiklis, Braugher, and Fishburne needed to make their mortgage. If the camera had spent the 85 minutes locked on Jessica Alba's rear, there would have been more action, more comedy, more emotion and lot more entertainment than this thing had. Heck, then there might even have been some natural movement.
Blame EVERYONE involved in the production, but start with the writer and director. If only Galactus could eat all the stars that reviewers are giving this thing.
Wheels of Terror (1990)
Wow! It was this or repetitive coverage of Hurricane Jeanne. I made the wrong choice.
Terrible, awful, abominable, contrived, just plain bad, horrendous, laughable, dreadful, ghastly, so bad it just has to be watched. I could not stop, I had to watch it to the end, I just had to find out how bad it could get. Well, it did not disappoint. The ending was definitely up to the rest of the movie, only worse. Just how many feet of film was wasted on this I don't know. But 1 second's worth is too much. I curse hurricane Jeanne for trapping me in the house with only this (UPN) coming in clearly on my TV. It was this or hurricane coverage of fallen trees and dogs wading through puddles. I chose this. It was a tough choice. I probably would have been better off if I was one of those who lost power. I think I secretly hoped I would lose power so I could breakaway from this mesmerizing stupidity.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Ever been put to sleep by a Hurricane? Reloaded will do it!
Spoiler alert I went to see Matrix Reloaded with a friend and his 12 year old son. We are all fans of sci-fi and especially the first Matrix movie so we pre-bought tickets to opening day. Thankfully my friend paid. Not enough room here to really critique this big budget garbage. This movie is a fiasco! Here are only a few points. How many times can we see focus on the shoes stepping from the car? What was it with the sex stuff? Insert sex scene here? Why? It added nothing, and was one of the worst shot I've ever seen. Then the chocolate cake thing was like a 17 year-old's sex fantasy. It just smacked of some producer's "improvement". Oh, was that STOMP doing a cameo in the cavern? Hey, we already saw that big dance/party scene with the Ewocks, it was bad then and it's bad now. Wow, Such pacing! Let me see, car crash, gun play, car crash, .monologue monologue, .car crash, gunplay, car crash,.. monologue monologue. Oddly enough, I preferred the monologues, as they were a break from the monotony and repetition. An hour could have been cut out of this movie. You would not have missed anything you had not already seen, both two minutes before, and in any number of other films. I was certain that Carrie-Ann Moss's "death" scene was her agent getting her out of there. Alas. When the only thing a 12 year-old (who has every Matrix product) can say is "well the highway scene was exciting." You know they bombed. These guys need to go back to Aristotle and look up Plot, Thought, Character, and Language. There is a reason he put Spectacle and Music last. Too much of everything, none of it good! 1/10