Change Your Image
joman
Reviews
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007)
Subtle as a brick
Great cinematic beginning, but it's all down hill from there.
Nearly every scene is overwrought.
Emma Watson's hammy breathless line delivery is distracting.
"Control your emotions!" Snape threatens Harry in yet another over the top scene, where of course no-one controls their emotions.
Because emotions are dramatic and exciting and box office baby!
*Every* scene is played for *maximum* impact. There is almost no breathing space to be had in any of it.
Poor old Daniel Radcliffe, whose obvious direction was to _yell_ every line of dialogue and look utterly miserable/enraged.
An exhausting watch.
Ghostbusters (2016)
Just not funny
This was a painful watch. Nearly all the 'jokes' fell flat (#goodjokesmatter). Dare I say it the male characters Kevin and the mayor made me chuckle a couple of times - being male, maybe that makes me sexist ? Kate McKinnon's character was particularly bad. A truly cringe-worthy performance. On a positive note - sounds like there won't be sequel!
The Hunger Games (2012)
Epicly uninspired movie making
The main problem with this movie is that you need to have read the book to be invested in the ludicrous premise and any of the woefully thinly drawn characters in the movie. Without the context of the book the whole premise of the movie is basically a big "WTF". A better script/director could have overcome this limitation to an extent - some of the Harry Potters managed to stand up OK as standalone movies (although not many of them to be fair). Of course, the tone of the movie is *deadly* serious telling me that I'm supposed to care about these 'characters' and the ridiculous predicament they find themselves in. Maybe I would if I'd read the book...
The ludicrous premise could also have been mitigated by making the attendant violence compelling - after all the premise is that the masses are entertained by the butchery right ? Which leads into the other major problem with the movie. The violence is completely neutered in order to achieve the necessary PG-13 rating to ensure mass consumption and make as much money as possible. As many people have commented, the build up to the titular 'Hunger Games' took a fair while (all without establishing why the Hunger Games made sense at all). Once the games finally arrive I thought 'OK now for at least some good action'. Unfortunately what I got was an incoherent mess full of ridiculously quick cuts so as to avoid seeing any bloodshed at all. Where's the tension and excitement in watching completely incoherent action sequences ? There is none. I guess it must have been exciting in the book...
A lesser problem is the special effects (the flames and the CGI dogs in particular) which are very poor and obviously done on the cheap. The girl on fire scene was laughable to me although I got the distinct impression it was supposed to be a big dramatic scene. I'm sure it must have been in the book...
The Watcher (2000)
Laughably awful 'thriller'
Holey moley. Where to begin... Was this up for any Raspberry Awards ? Because it should've swept them. James Spader and Marisa Tomei, oh yeah you *had* careers. A long time ago or they wouldn't be offering you parts like this. I note that the director hasn't worked since, and as such you could consider the release of this movie to be a public service.
Deadly dull, boring anaemic characters. Not one thrill in all of it. Keanu Reeves wasn't the least bit scary - whoa dude! you're supposed to be a pyscho! Although the director didn't help you out much. A travesty.
The Don's Analyst (1997)
Pleasantly surprised
I also must disagree with the guy who only watched 20 minutes of this movie. Being a National Lampoon film, I was expecting this to be pretty lame, but found myself laughing out loud at some points. Robert Loggia's performance was very funny. I would put this into the 'pleasant surprise' movie category.