Reviews

This terrific horror-comedy holds up extremely well today, far better than almost every other genre attempt of the 1980s. Possibly Joe Dante's most entertaining film (although many would probably argue that "Matinee" is the superior achievement), "The Howling" plays fair to both film lovers (who will appreciate John Sayles' movie reference laden screenplay, Dante's stylish direction and John Hora's colorful, Bava-esque cinematography) and horror fans (who, while ignoring the film's overall quality and parodistic elements, will get off on the still excellent make-up effects and gore scenes). A great cast humanizes Sayle's jokey script, with Dee Wallace and Dennis Dugan actually managing to add some emotional power to what should have been an utterly tasteless finale. And its amazing what technical wonders Dante and his talented crew were able to accomplish on such limited resources (the film was made for well under $2 million, approximately 1/5 of the budget for John Landis' inferior, disappointingly conventional "An American Werewolf in London," released at approximately the same time). "The Howling" is so much more than merely the best werewolf movie since the 1940s; it's a witty, inventive, deeply satisfying entertainment, "The Bride of Frankenstein" of the 1980s. (NOTE: The poorly made, in name only "sequels" to "The Howling" are aimed squarely at pure gore/horror fans, who have always loudly professed confusion regarding the satire and humor of Dante's original; for them, "Howlings 2 - 7" are clearly better than the first installment of the series.)

Somewhat similar to "The Dirty Dozen," in that its plot features a group of convicts recruited for a deadly mission during WW 2, this fast paced war epic is much more stylish and unpredictable than that crudely made, if undeniably entertaining, Robert Aldrich blockbuster. With great performances from Michael Caine and Nigel Davenport, as well as able support from a cast of fabulous British actors, the film features one terrific action sequence after another, with plenty of surprises in store. To say anything more would surely ruin many of those surprises for the unsuspecting viewer, but it should be noted that the story comes to a screeching halt with what is possibly the greatest and most hilarious "Ooops!" in film history.

"Alien" was a relentlessly bleak, beautifully atmospheric masterpiece of horror and dread, one of the few truly adult examples of the science fiction genre. Its sequel, "Aliens," was far less disturbing, aiming more for visceral, action-movie thrills; nonetheless, it was still a powerhouse of a movie, especially in its wonderful "special edition" laserdisc incarnation. The notorious "Alien 3," on the other hand, is an utterly miserable failure, certainly the most insultingly juvenile follow-up to a good movie since the equally terrible "Return of the Jedi." From its hopelessly rushed, sloppily edited opening title sequence, to its endless, murky "alien-cam" chase finale, "Alien 3" consists of nothing more than a shocking series of miscalculations on the part of the filmmakers, who manage to create not even one moment of suspense, horror or thrills in nearly two hours of MTV-styled tedium. Particularly frustrating (and embarrassing) for the viewer is watching Sigourney Weaver and Lance Henriksen, two great performers, struggle to create anything interesting with their underwritten characters; both fail horribly. Even "Alien 4" looks great in comparison to this, possibly the worst sequel ever made.

How can any adult who enjoyed "Star Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back" possibly find anything entertaining, or even interesting, about this abysmal, unimaginative travesty? A genuinely bad movie, truly awful in every possible way, "Jedi" features a screenplay aimed squarely at four year olds and absolutely terrible acting from an understandably embarrassed cast; in addition, the film offers us the shoddiest array of cheap, plastic-looking space aliens since Irwin Allen's "Lost In Space" tv series. Yes, I realize it is this very cheapness that endears the movie to a legion of kitsch loving fans, but, as a direct follow-up to "Empire," one of the most entertaining and inventive fantasy movies of the last twenty years, "Jedi" comes across as a particularly insulting spit in the face from George Lucas. And those godawful teddy bears! Is there anyone out there (over the age of four, that is) who doesn't cringe in horror at just the mere thought of those monstrously cute creatures?

Easily John Carpenter's best film, "The Thing" is that rarest of movie rarities -- a remake of a classic film that is every bit as good as the original. Backed by a pounding, heartbeat-like synthesizer score from the brilliant Ennio Morricone, "The Thing" opens (following a pre-titles UFO "teaser") with striking, beautifully choreographed images of a low flying helicopter chasing a dog through a desolate, frozen landscape. The finale is just as stunningly filmed, the story bleakly and ambiguously ending in that same landscape awash in redhot flames. In between, "The Thing" offers some of the most potently horrific sequences ever shot. John W. Campbell's original short story "Who Goes There?" is followed much more closely here than in Howard Hawks' version, resulting in some awesomely effective man-to-monster transformations. Although these make-up effects have been much copied since 1982, the film has lost little of its power to shock even the most jaded of horror fans. Carpenter's direction is stylish and assured, filling almost every sequence with the maximum amount of dread and suspense possible. Add Morricone's thumping, eerie music to the mix and you end up with one of the most terrifying of all movie experiences. (The DVD and laser disc versions are highly recommended, crammed as they are with wonderful additional goodies, including a shot-by-shot audio track discussion by Carpenter and star Kurt Russell, as well as an informative eighty minute documentary of the film's production.)

Joe Dante's wicked sense of humor has rarely been better put to use than in this Roger Corman-produced "Jaws" imitation which, after 20 (!) years, holds up surprisingly well. Although stuffed with movie references/jokes in the typical Dante manner, "Piranha" is nonetheless well-made enough to offer fast-paced suspense and thrills between the gags. Certainly John Sayles' clever script considerably elevates what should have been a mere rip-off to cult status, with a fairly strong plot and some hilarious dialogue exchanges. Dante helps move his cast of pros (Bradford Dillman, Keenan Wynn, Barbara Steele and, most amusingly, Dick Miller) through their paces with remarkable skill for such a low budget project. Sadly, the film's reputation over the years seems to have deflated quite a bit, presumably due to the stench caused by James Cameron's pathetic sequel, "Piranha II: The Spawning," and the even worse made-for-cable remake of Dante's film. Forget those abominations; the original "Piranha" is a truly funny horror movie (intentionally so) filled with moments of almost-classic campy chills.

One of the most outlandishly inventive modern additions to the King Arthur mythos, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" is either the funniest movie ever made or the most gruesome form of torture ever devised; some people scream with laughter from its (wonderful) opening credits to its stunningly abrupt ending, while just as many others sit there stone-faced. I had the distinct pleasure of watching "Grail" with a friend who absolutely hated every minute of it, and this, of course, made all the jokes that much funnier for me. The Criterion Collection laser disc is highly recommended, with an audio track devoted to the very amusing recollections of co-directors Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones.

I still recall, with a shudder of horror, being forced to watch this atrocity by a friend who claimed that "its really, really funny." Like most people, I love lousy movies, often finding them much more entertaining then some genuinely good movies. But this...this is hideous beyond belief. A cheap made-for-tv movie that somehow received a theatrical release, "Airport '75" (released in '74!) is absolutely the worst, dullest disaster movie ever made. And I only laughed once (when Karen Black, trapped behind the controls of the plane, sticks out and wags her tongue directly at the audience, an endearing show of contempt from a fine actress for the few people out there who manage to enjoy this junk).

Set in 17th century Britain, this severely under-rated horror yarn fairly drips with a thick, creepy atmosphere that is hard to shake. The incredibly sexy Linda Hayden (here sporting bizarre, wicked eyebrows) stars as the sluttish leader of a group of children who discover, then worship, the remnants of what appears to be a demon in a farmer's field; they soon begin to perform sacrifices of other children to it. Patrick Wymark, in a fine, subtle performance, plays a Matthew Hopkins-type who puts a stop to the group's murderous shenanigans. The plot is presented in a somewhat disjointed, vague manner, especially during the disappointingly incoherent, anti-climactic finale. But the film's great strength is its amazingly real sense of place and time. Set during a remarkably superstitious period, the vividly presented characters (the acting is uniformly excellent) are in constant fear of an evil presence that palpably lurks everywhere; the film is so extremely well made that the viewer comes to share their constant dread. The end result is a stylish horror movie that is very uncomfortable to watch.