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Sarteshi
Reviews
The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)
But the book goes all the way up to eleven
This was a really, really good movie. Action, adventure, human interest, drama, cool-looking swords, little guys with hairy feet, it has all my major turn-ons.
The CGI effects are very well done, particularly Gollum, and the acting was top-notch. What fun. Can't wait for the DVD.
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Only half-bad
This movie has its funny moments, to be sure, but the series is clearly running out of steam.
A number of the jokes were cookie-cut from the first two, and some jokes actually required a careful knowledge of the previous films, such as when Nigel Powers spots Mini Me and says, "I though I smelled cabbage." If you didn't know of the Powers dislike for carnies ("Small hands, smell like cabbage") from the first movie, the joke would just fall flat. And, even though I knew the other movie, it still wasn't all that funny.
Worth watching, though, if only for the treatment of the movie's henchmen.
Beautiful Girls (1996)
They're all sisters
Quite simply, I just loved the movie. The setting was gorgeous, the characters were real and familiar, the plot was, well, a little cliched, but still very well-employed. I've lost count of how many "big-city-guy-comes-back-to-his-home-town-and-confronts-his-life" movies I've seen but this one, along with Grosse Pointe Blank, recognize that they're part of a sub-genre and use this knowledge for some wonderful tongue-in-cheek humour.
And Marty. She is just one of the coolest characters ever. Some people might call her a Lolita knock-off but she's not. She is simply, as she puts it, "an old soul." Great movie.
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
It doesn't deserve a ten
I'll be honest, I gave this movie a ten, but not because it deserves it. This movie deserves an 8.5, which, I realize, is impossible since we can only give rounded-off numbers for votes. I'm just trying to balance out all those lousy ingrates who gave this movie a 1.
A 1? How could you . . .? What . . .? Jude Law alone was worth at least two points. Toss in some amazing special effects and you have another two points. Great cinematography earns another two and then you have the plot, a pleasant mix of psychological introspection and bombastic energy. Then there are the dozens of hidden cameos, a great minor character role from William Hurt and, well, you have a ten.
Minus one point for the "huh?" factor, which was high, even for a Stanley Kubrick movie. I don't mind having to watch a movie twice to really understand it but to miss out on entire plot points due to artistic license is a little much. Then minus another half because, well, I looked at my watch. Sorry, that's a half-point deduction. There you are, a solid 8.5. A one. These people are the reason Pauly Shore still has a job.
Shrek (2001)
I laughed my butt off.
This movie was almost perfect. It had John Lithgow as a hilarious villain, the comic vocal voice stylings of Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy, brilliant animation, tons of pointed jabs at bloated corporate giants, mounds of amusing plots twists and, well, it just kind of made me happy. I will remember until my dying day the interrogation of the gingerbread man and Mike Myers just seems to get better with each movie.
This movie had one flaw: predictable plot. Ordinarily, this would reduce the movie to at best an eight, but since this was a fairy tale, it only seems fair to give a nine.
Roxanne (1987)
I love this movie
For the first and only time, there's a remake and rewrite of a classic play that actually improves upon the original. This movie is so funny that I almost literally weep with tears throughout the entire movie.
From the slapstick tennis racket duel at the beginning to the insult war in the bar, this movie is a demonstration of just how funny Steve Martin can be. It's only flaw is a slightly stiff-acted supporting cast although there are some spectacular character actors that carry off their support roles very well.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
Good. not great, but good
How can you dislike a Steven Martin movie? Well, it's not that difficult, really. A quick rewatching of The Man With Two Brains is usually enough of a reminder.
Okay, John Candy, he's never been in any bad movies, has he? Oh, God, this isn't going well . . .
Still, this is a good movie with lots of laughs and a fair bit of slapstick. Unfortunately, Steve Martin doesn't get to be as physical as he ought to be and John Candy is a little stiff but loveable. A good movie, but not a great one.
Nosferatu, eine Symphonie des Grauens (1922)
The beginning of it all.
Each and every horror movie produced after Nosferatu borrows some element from this film. From the slow, creeping soundtrack to the dark, sombre mood that permeates the movie, it is the best horror movie of all time.
Some people say that it could be jazzed up with special effects and voices but this movie is a testament to what one really wierd guy with a video camera can do for the art of movie-making.
Say Anything... (1989)
I remember this.
Throughout the entire movie, that's what I was thinking. I remember this. Not the exact situation but I remember my life feeling like this. Confused, uncertain, poignant . . . but not that melodramatic. That's it's only flaw; this movie is completely unbelievable.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Bad
Oh, bad. Terrible. It was . . . bad, just . . . no words to say . . . bad. So bad. So bad I can't even . . . so bad . . . can't form sentences . . . bad . . . It's just that . . . there's nothing . . . a void . . . a bad, bad void
Dungeons & Dragons (2000)
It stunk
I give it a three for three reasons:
1. Great special effects. The dragon scenes were great, the magic sword fight was cool and the spells were really, really pretty.
2. A crushed velvet dress, a one-horned helmet and a black vinyl jacket. The best costumes in the movie. They must have raided my closet.
3. Finally, a movie where I could have wiped up the floor with Jeremy Irons.
The Matrix (1999)
Woah.
This movie got a ranking of ten despite having Keanu Reeves as the main character. It accomplished this miraculous feat because good ol' fish-face has the best line of the movie; "Woah." I must have said it a hundred times while watching this movie. And I never meant it as a bad thing. Amazing, amazing movie. Great villains, cool good guys, Laurence Fishburne in tiny sunglasses, the wierdest kind of God imaginable and fight scenes that leave you so stunned all you can say is "Woah."
Blade (1998)
To everyone who says this movie's beyond believability
Not entirely sure that believability's a real word, but no matter. Anyway, this movie is based on a comic book. Not a novel, which has to at least pretend to be realistic, not a real-life story which has to strive to be realistic, the movie Blade is based on a comic book. In one of the first scenes there's a shower of blood. Literally, a shower of blood, and then lots of vampires die in real melodramatic fashion. If you couldn't suspend your disbelief right then and there, then I don't know what to tell you.
The Revenge of the Teenage Vixens from Outer Space (1985)
Oog
This was a truly bad movie. Bad plot, bad acting, bad SFX, bad music, bad everything.
The Dark Crystal (1982)
True originality
There are very few movies that are truly original. The Dark Crystal, the Henson Workshop's only independent escapade into true fantasy, is truly original. The complex and hidden history of the world of the Skeksis, Gelfling, Pod People and the urRu is breath-taking.
Blade Runner (1982)
Balancing Act
Shadowy without being pitch-black, morose without being suicidal, amoral without being pointless and fast-paced without being blinding. If I had to choose the one film that reaches closest to perfection, this is it.