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Reviews
The Mummy (1999)
Sorry, the computer wouldn't let me put a 0 rating!!!!
The Mummy stank! It was a waste of time and money. The plot was completely predictable: A mummy tries to take over the world while our heroes, a sexy librarian, her goofball brother, and a rugged ruffian have to kill the immortal beast. It was obvious that the makers of this film started off trying to make this movie good and, upon realizing that the film would turn out awful, decided to act like it was supposed to be this way. The only reason that you should go see this film is if you are wide awake, feeling boisterous, and want to make the whole theater feel stupid for paying to see such hodgepodge.
"Oh no! The man-eating bugs are coming! Run away!"
Ravenous (1999)
The un-PERFECT date movie!!
I took one look at the fifteen or so people in the theater and knew this was going to be one hell of a weird movie! Suspenseful, funny, scary as hell...this film has it all. I do have to mention, however, that the beginning was sort of slow and the end had one two many monologues. Other than that, I was holding my breath the whole time!
C't'à ton tour, Laura Cadieux (1998)
One goofball of a movie
I saw this film on a plane ride en route to Calgary from Toronto so I can't exactly say I chose this movie on my own free will. It was really, really bad in my opinion. The best part was the fat ladies licking the chicken poster in the subway station.
A Simple Plan (1998)
The best date movie of the year!
What? You don't agree? This is the best kind of movie to take a blind date to that hasn't exactly been working out. Here's the deal - you go really late and when the movie's over you repeatedly scare the hell out of her. Put a fake gun to her head and if she was really paying attention she'll say "well, well, well, you've got a piece?"
On a serious note - the middle of the movie was great and the beginning and the end were bad. The beginning seemed rushed and the ending reminded me of Scoopy Doo. "Well, Hank, now that the film's almost over I guess we'll tell you our secret plan after all!" If I'd have made this film I would have ended it right after Jacob died. I would have panned up toward the sky then faded to an overhead shot of the field like any classy filmmaker would. But what do I know, I'm just a kid!
Billy Bob Thorton played an EXCELLENT character and while Bill Paxton's was sort of blase. The character personality fluctuation kept me on the edge of my seat literally and Bridget Fonda's character Sarah was believable. I don't they should have included the baby though. Wouldn't a new mother be spending a little more time on her two day old kid?
All in all see this movie, don't complain like I am, and impress your friends with the knowledge you possess after reading this review.
Can't Hardly Wait (1998)
Awful Movie
The stereotypes, though intended, were painfully irritating. This film preyed on simple minded teenage audiences who would laugh at the most ridiculus of jokes. I couldn't wait for it to end.
MacGyver (1985)
Great after dinner program for the whole family.
MaGuyver was in its prime when I was about ten years old. Every Monday night my brothers and I would watch to see how he would make a nuclear bomb out of a toothpick and a tennis raquet. The ultimate episode was the series where Zoe and MaGuyver go to Europe to search for the Holy Grail. This is classic. Every once and a while at a party my friends and I would try to top each other with MaGuyver recollections. It was great! The last show wasn't that good, however. I was disappointed when at the ending, when MaGuyver found his son. I thought it would be something grand like MaGuyver flying off into the sunset on a glider he made out of bamboo or something.
Spanking the Monkey (1994)
Captures the aura of a hot summers night perfectly
While I didn't feel that Spanking the Monkey related to Sex, Lies, and Videotape, (which I thought was a rather bad movie) this movie was sheer brilliance. As an eighteen year old living in the same type of setting as Raymond, I can identify, not with the specific problems of his life, but of the general oppressiveness that being a teenager is. Jeremy Davies gives an outstanding performance and I wish he was casted in more movies. It is said that as time goes on films get worse and worse. I think this is true for most mainstream high budget blockbusters, but many people do not realize how thriving indy film sceen in America is today. When costs of production are slashed, more emphasis is put on the script and acting. Long live indy films!
The Liars' Club (1994)
An awful movie
This movie starts off VERY bad, proceeds to get a little better, and has a terrible ending. This plot is unrealistic, dialogue is stupid, and the acting is pretty bad as well.