Reviews
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
Genius - and the critics didn't even notice...
South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut is without doubt the most intelligent mainstream film of the last decade. Snubbed by critics for pointing out the flaw in their arguments against it even before it was released, it takes Hollywood movies and the censorship debate as its ammunition and fires round after round of toilet and sick humour from its gun-of-truth directly at the movies of Disney, Lucasfilm and anyother big name vacuous motion picture production company.
It saddens me that the message this film put across was ignored or not noticed by any critics. It is even spelt out for them towards the end of the movie (although I doubt any critics were still paying attention - they were more than likely thinking up clever metaphors for the morning edition). Kyle's mum, the ringleader of the Anti Canada ensemble, anounces the point of their conflict: "Death and carnage are all okay, as long as no one says any dirty words" (Or words to that effect).
I'm losing my narrative. To cut to the chase, this film is a two finger salute to all the people who are getting all worked up over a bunch of cartoons who swear. Simultaneously, it proves its own worth and worthlessness. As I said, it's genius.
And I haven't even mentioned the quality of the songs and orchestrations - they put Disney's collaborations with Tim Rice and whoever to shame easily. I hope "Blame Canada" gets the oscar this year, although I doubt it. The CG, most notably in the hell sequences, is perfectly competent. Not great, just good. And before anyone tells you other wise, let me assure you that if you appreciate the humour from the series, you'll definitely appreciate the humour in the movie. There are so many hilarious bits packed into an hour twenty that it shows how empty and dull There's Something About Mary actually was. (My personal favourite bit is when Brooke Shields announces she once farted on the set of the Blue Lagoon, after which there is a long pause. Then Terrence politely slaps her. Genius)
To sum up, South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut is, and I quote, 'genius'. Don't know who said it, though. 9 out of 10.
The Last Supper (1995)
It's just balls.
To get it out of the way, I have to say that I found The Last Supper to be pretty much the worst film I've seen for a long time. And that's including RoboCop 3. I accept it's a low budget film, but that's no excuse for the leaden script, the bizarre pacing and direction, and basically wasting what little effort was put into it. The guest stars were all good - indeed, Ron Pearlman was the most likeable character in the film, and I'm talking about his 'fascist politician' scenes, too.
There is nothing to recommend about this movie - the characters are obnoxious and self-assured wannabe standup comedians. My friends and I sat stoney faced as one liner after failed one liner dropped limply from the 'clever and witty script'.
There were moments when character development threatened to appear, as some sort of depth was introduced to the 2D stars, only for it to vanish as if it had wandered in only by accident and didn't want to cause a fuss.
In fact, the characterisation was possibly the reason I hated this film so much. It seems the writers were too busy trying to show the friends enjoying each others' company so much that they forgot to include any reason why. As best I could tell, it seemed they all got together for the conversation/meal evenings purely so they could compete in witty banter and grin.
And for some reason there was an odd are-they-aren't-they sexual tension between the dark haired woman and the black guy that went nowhere and did nothing other than take up valuable story time. Which was probably the point - the entire film could have been condensed to a five minute short, and would have benefitted innumerably from the need to cut the chaff.
The almost final scene, in the kitchen (I won't give any details away, for those who want to see it.) was almost farcical, as the mood violently swung in directions I didn't think possible. The conclusion was obvious, inconclusive, unsatisfying and ultimately reflected the movie as a whole. I guess, in that sense, you could call it a success.
To sum up, this bites. A stellar cast and an intriguing premise result in the worst film of the nineties. Burn it. It must be stopped.
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)
Top dros pic pips pop flicks to the tip top post
Don't really want to say much, save for "See this movie! It's top!" Some bits are consistently funny. Like, the cockpit scenes with the, ahem, 'controls', the comedy grave diggers. And any scene with the alien ruler is going to be a top bit of camp tomfoolery. Go get it, tigers!