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Reviews
Incendiary (2008)
Masterful inward looking piece full of emotion and insight
I actually find myself pitying the clowns who don't get/won't get this film. They are either brain dead or dead at the core... because not being touched by the events strung together here is really not paying attention to the film or to the current state of things. The acting is superb by everyone, obviously especially Michelle Williams. It's a gutsy move to bring in an American to play this blue collar East Ender but she pulled it off with astonishing aplomb. The photography is sensational and helps the emotional story emerge... that is, if you're interested in a story that deals in emotions, which is to say people, which is to say drama. If you don't want drama or people or emotions this is not the film for you. Perhaps no film is for you, but fear not, there are video games for you.
The Number One Girl (2006)
Beauty pageant marred by fighting
This is a pretty amusing picture, as long as you watch it on fast forward. No, amusing is too generous. As a five to ten minute exercise in head shaking it is adequate. The more you watch the more you wonder who put up money for such a fiasco. *** SPOILER *** It's over an hour in before the protagonist irks the antagonist enough to to make him reroute the course of a ludicrous beauty pageant into a -- dare I say it -- martial arts contest. *** SPOILER *** Alert the media. Oh, wait, the media is already there. Anyway there are some guys in the control booth thinking they've got a hot number here. The more I think about what I saw the more pathetic it gets. The movie had a good poster. Probably has an okay trailer. Probably did okay at film markets. But the movie itself is boring drivel. Drivel is fine if it's entertaining. This is not.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
The agony -- is over yet?
You don't need a description of the plot here -- you've seen it that's why you're here -- or you've seen the ads, which is just as good as seeing the movie -- better actually because it doesn't eat up your time. The worst thing about this annoying fluff is how well-achieved it is - -clever camera movement, nice lighting, terrific sets, good make up on the sexy actors. Well-achieved, as in slick. It's a shame there's not a shred of humanity or soul its interminable 2 hours. A guy who can achieve such a thing (the director) should be doing it with some substance behind it. I'm not blaming him. I'm saying it's a shame that talent is poured down the toilet. I was worried that 9/11 would make a negative impact on our arts. Nothing supports that contention more the vacuous Mr and Mrs Smith.
Underworld (2003)
"Underwear" would have been more interesting
Yes, that goes without saying, underwear on certain people is beyond reproach. Not so this piece of brain dead tripe. This had all the soul, character, plot and interest level of an unplugged in video game. Kate Beckinsale is cute but way over her head here. Bill Nighy is, as always, very funny, but he's not intended to be. No, Udder- awful-world is why people are staying home. It's why people would rather download and zone out at home. Pathetic. And I paid practically nothing for it in an out of the way backstreet theater. SPOILER (oooh!) --- The finale in which a combo werewolf/vampire fights against the old rock and roller is really hysterical.
Chicago (2002)
Dud, Dead, Dumb, Numb,
Oh boy, a film from home that I haven't seen I said to myself as I ducked in out of the rain. And an Oscar winner. I just about vomited my baguette. This was the poorest excuse for a film I've seen in a long long time. Where's the film? I can see the stage play, but where's the film. If I wanted limp-wristed "entertainment" I'd have chosen it deliberately. But this isn't bad because it's spineless, it's bad because it represents the dead soul of America. There's no there there. Pathetic. Truly a waste. The poor lost Academy. It's been a couple years since I wrote this. It remains true -- I've seen pieces of this garbage pass by on cable and so on. "No Country..." takes some of the sting out the memory of this awful experience.
Confidential Agent (1945)
Terrific Stuff
Good old black and white Graham Greene based people in dangerous times doing heroic and mysterious things. Hardly a shot fired or a punch thrown and a hundred time more interesting than the glop that's being minted by Hollywood today. Bacall lights up the screen of course and Boyer is entirely engaging. They don't make movies like this any more.
Sibirskiy tsiryulnik (1998)
Quirky dark woman and idealistic young man on a path to disaster.
Terrific picture. Great acting across the board. Julia Ormond finds a new level of emotion previous directors have failed to bring out. Innovatively directed/designed. Scenery for days. The politics of the time are exaggerated to make a point about a cloistered world. See it for yourself and let the film, not the critics, take you with it.
Resident Evil (2002)
Video game attacks senses
Unmitigated garbage. A waste of energy. A soul deadening experience. Enough to make you give up on movies altogether. Michelle Rodriguez is a joke. The FX suck. There is no plot. No character. No scares. There is nothing here. Nothing.