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Batman (1989)
A bit dated and smothered
An enjoyable and fairly well-paced film that looks so dated - it reeks of the 80s from the silly glasses, through the dialogue and to the inappropriate use of Prince's music. But the real problem with the film (and I thought so on first viewing back when it was new and fresh) is the smothering presence of Jack Nicholson - his Joker just eats away at the film with every appearance rubbing against the mood of the piece. Keaton is a good Batman but his dark and moody presence is overshadowed and made to look weak by Nicholson's ridiculous overacting. Kim Basinger was better than I remember and most of the supporting cast did well enough...given the competition! A less overpowering Joker and a more timeless feel and this would be a classic - as it is it's little more than a passable couple of hours.
Carry on Cruising (1962)
A very tame offering
Sid James and Kenneth Williams can't salvage this very weak Carry On offering. Sid plays the captain of Mediterranean cruise ship who has a completely new and thoroughly inept crew thrust upon him just when he needs a perfect cruise to earn the promotion he so thoroughly deserves. Kenneth Williams, Lance Percival and Kenneth Connor are the crew who make Sid's cruise so difficult.
The inept crew bumble through some timid Carry On farce with an over reliance on falling over and a weak script to pull it all together. It doesn't have the warmth that the best films in the series have and just drifts through to its inevitable cheesy ending without any real laughs.
Sailor Beware (1956)
No twists, no jokes, precious little plot and no redeeming features
I never thought I'd ever give a film a "1 (awful)" vote on IMDb - surely every film has some redeeming feature that can haul it away from the bottom of the barrel that it is so enthusiastically scraping. Even the "so bad it's good" argument can bump a score up a point or two.
But here it is - without a doubt THE most worthless film I've ever sat through (and as I write this I still wonder that I managed to sit through it at all).
The film's "plot" revolves around the impending marriage of a sailor and how he deals with his fiancée and her family. But to call it a "plot" at all is a little generous. Basically it's nothing more than a vehicle for Peggy mount to shout endlessly. Shirley Eaton and Ronald Lewis blend seamlessly into the grey background as the prospective couple and some fine British "talent" drift in and out and add nothing at all to the film.
No twists, no jokes, precious little story and no redeeming features - just Peggy Mount shouting.
Superman (1978)
Woeful
I am absolutely astounded that this truly woeful film is garnering any praise at all. The film takes an absolute age to get going and then falls apart between some barely tolerable action sequences. The casting is awful - even Gene Hackman, who should be able to do villains in his sleep makes a lame Lex Luthor. The part where Superman takes Lois for a trip is enough to make the most sturdy toes curl with its creepiness. The plot is very poorly developed and the viewer is expected to accept unquestioningly certain things that really required an explanation.
That this film generated sequels is a mystery, and that the sequels were equally poor is no surprise at all - really...don't waste your time with this, I wish I hadn't. I stuck it out because my eight year old was watching with me - even he was disappointed.
The Neverending Story (1984)
Unsubtle and over-rated
I really, really don't understand the adoration this film gets. The message is clunky, unsubtle and insulting. The acting is generally unimpressive. The characters are, for the most part, under-developed and the story is just plain silly. I like fantasy films but I don't like to be patronised and I don't appreciate my seven year old son being preached to in the way this film preaches.
Add to all that the dreadful score, the awful Limahl song at the beginning...AND at the end and an ending that is really unsatisfying. I felt cheated of the time I wasted watching this.
Don't watch this rubbish. See The Princess Bride and see how a fantasy film can engross and challenge and excite.
Calling Bulldog Drummond (1951)
Worthless and Tiresome
There really is very little positive that can be said about this film. Walter Pidgeon is a truly unconvincing hero and even moreso when he tries to go "undercover" as a villain who, we're meant to believe, drinks too much and knocks his wife about a bit. Margaret Leighton, as the wife/undercover sergeant is a little more convincing but it's still difficult to believe that any hood worth their salt would not have seen through their charade in less than a minute. The plot, about a bullion heist, is silly, and the action drags rather than grips. David Tomlinson, who plays Algy in the same way that David Tomlinson seems to play all his roles, is the only glimmer of light in a wholly dull affair.
Roberta (1935)
This is not an Astaire/Rogers film
If this was an Astaire/Rogers film it would be charming; there would be more dancing; there would be more humour; there would be an enjoyable (rather than strained) plot. Fred and Ginger are in the film and the best bits of the film are without a doubt the two dance numbers they perform together - maybe not their best but still good enough to leave me breathless and yearning for more when they finish. Sadly Irene Dunne and Randolph Scott provide the limp romance in the film. Dunne is fine to look at and charming enough as an actor but her musical numbers drag the film back. Scott is the real weak link in this film, his country hick character is neither charming nor funny and generally just plain annoying and he's not even handsome. My partner commented while watching this that the film was crying out for Ralph Bellamy - I had to agree. Having said that the film looked good and those two Astaire/Rogers dance numbers were enough in themselves to warrant a six/ten from me.
Murder Ahoy (1964)
A good cast struggles through
While "Murder She Said" had rattled along at a decent pace and kept the silly plot somehow unintrusive, this film drags along through a ridiculous, and often muddled story. Margaret Rutherford gamely blusters through in her typical manner and Lionel Jeffries adds appropriately stiff support. The supporting cast are pretty good, in particular Nicholas Parsons as Dr Crump, but in the end they are all struggling with a poor story that doesn't keep the viewer engrossed or anywhere near the edge of their seat.
Murder She Said (1961)
A good yarn
I'll admit to never having been a fan of the writings of Agatha Christie and find that the films that have emerged from them are generally not worth watching. I am, however a fan of Margaret Rutherford and as Jane Marple her boisterous and energetic character keeps this yarn rattling along very nicely. James Robertson Justice provides his usual blustery performance and the family are a wonderfully "suspicious" lot. It has no pretensions to be anything but the cracking murder mystery it is.
Goodbye, Mr. Chips (1939)
hammy and overly sentimental
I can't believe that this film rates as highly as it does - the acting is often second rate or incredibly hammy (or both). The story is over-sentimental clap-trap, very poorly paced and seems to have little point. A teacher teaches for a long time and then dies is hardly worthy of two hours of anyone's time. The subject matter that is touched upon is generally handled badly and the passing of time is unconvincing - from the cliched dropping of significant events into conversation to the poorly realised make-up.
Greer Garson is the only saving grace, she does what she's pretty good at and does it well, but after her characters death the film just dies with her.
A Night at the Opera (1935)
perfect balance
It has been said, perhaps too often, that when the Marx Brothers arrived at MGM they lost their edge. True, their Paramount comedies were considerably more frantic than their later work, but frantic and unstructured also means (to me) unbalanced and frustrating. Duck Soup may contain some of their funniest sequences but as a film it leaves me feeling a little empty at the end
With A Night At The Opera, their first film for MGM, the boys were finally placed into a well structured story. Everything works so well, the romantic sub-plot, generally strained in their previous (and a lot of their subsequent) work, is enjoyable and used well to help the story along. The musical interludes fit perfectly and aren't overstretched (another problem with the boys later work). The comedy set-pieces are perfectly timed and superbly paced.
On the whole A Night At The Opera is the perfectly balanced Marx Brothers film, it has enough of the belly-laugh comedy that we expect (the state room scene, the opera) but is, for once, cleverly integrated into a smart plot and some thoroughly enjoyable musical numbers.
Runaway Bride (1999)
Syrupy nonsense
You generally know where you are with a romantic comedy - for the most part you can make a pretty good guess what you are going to be served and can only hope that it gets served with a little panache. Runaway Bride has precious little panache - it has a few interesting ingredients - Joan Cusack rarely fails to improve a movie, Christopher Meloni turns in a convincing and amusing performance, Laurie Metcalf is entertaining for a while (and then annoying) and Julia Roberts is engaging and charming. It has a down side too - the plot is as thin as expected and stretching it to close to two hours makes it seem even thinner. Richard Gere is a dull grey and uncharming romantic lead and the poorly paced and product placed ensemble makes for a pretty run of the mill film. It passed the time. An uninteresting dish, too big and too much sugar. Four.
Star Wars (1977)
this is not the film...
Dear George,
I remember seeing Star Wars on its first release and being completely immersed in the story, the characters, the effects - to a thirteen year old it was wonderful, I saw it a couple of times after and the magic never diminished.
BUT THEN at the weekend I sat down and saw this "new" film with added effects that more often than not stuck out like a sore thumb. Additions that somehow said "remember that film you loved so much...well actually it wasn't good enough". Well Mr Lucas it WAS good enough, it didn't need some hokey special effects to make it better - for me it had the opposite effect.
In particular the scene with Han and Jabba looked dreadful - it repeated (almost verbatim) a previous scene, made Jabba seem insignificant and unthreatening and made poor Harrison Ford look like a second-rate actor who didn't know where to look.
Sure I still enjoyed the film - but the additions (and of course the inevitable subtractions) meant that there was no longer any magic here for me.
Just because you can do this it doesn't mean you should. You had the opportunity to show off all your special effects muscle in The Phantom Menace, why did you feel the need to meddle with your "back-catalogue" to try and produce a homogenous mass of work rather than a timeline through recent film history. Your attempts failed and now you have a half-decent film where there was once a great one.
Thanks also for giving a treasured childhood memory a thorough kicking.
-Andy (6/10)
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
laboured
There was something quite refreshing about "International Man of Mystery" - sure the jokes where on the whole dreadful and the story ridiculous, but it had a charm.
This sequel is the same film with over-laboured jokes and none of the charm of the first film, it comes across as nothing more than a bunch of badly constructed and generally unfunny sketches. Frankly disappointing.
If the best part of a film involves a silhouetted character seemingly inserting and removing objects from/into the bottom of another you have to accept that you have not witnessed a great film. To be honest it is not even good.
Four and that's probably being kind.
Ed Wood (1994)
A good film that changed on second viewing
The first time I saw this film a few years back I was totally drawn in by the way that Depp played the single-minded and passionate Wood, by Landau's remarkable performance as Lugosi and by a host of other exceptional portrayals of very unusual characters. I watched it again last night and I began to feel a little uncomfortable.
Landau was, of course still brilliant and most of the minor characters still came across as simultaneously believable and unbelievable. But the Wood character seemed colder, where once I saw passion I now began to see ruthlessness, where once there was single-mindedness now there was neglect of responsibility to his cast/friends. I'm not totally sure which Wood I was supposed to beleive - I liked the first one better.
This change in my perception of the lead role suddenly made the film seem overlong (actually at 2 hours plus it IS overlong), made Depp's acting seem a little less convincing and made the whole a less enjoyable (if still engrossing) story.
If you haven't seen it I suggest you do, if you have seen it you might find that things have changed when you watch it again. Still a seven (but I suspect that's likely to change on a third viewing).
Heavenly Creatures (1994)
A good film made better by some fine acting
A couple of really powerful performances from the two leads help to lift this film above the ordinary - add to this a fascinating true story and superb direction and you have a very fine whole...well almost. The dream/fantasy sequences are unnecessary, distracting, and for me at least, take the pace of the film. Borovnia seemed to work so much better without being able to see it.
Despite this minor grievance an exceptional film made all the better by the performances of Kate Winslett and particularly Melanie Lynskey. An eight from me.
At the Circus (1939)
An enjoyable enough diversion
OK, I accept (and suspect that there will be little argument) that At The Circus is a long way from the Marx Brothers finest hour. There isn't the pace of Duck Soup or the wonderfully constructed whole of A Night At The Opera, but within this film there is enough to make an hour and a half pass quite enjoyably.
A few fine set pieces, notably the midget/cigar routine and Harpo & Chico trying to find the money in the strongman's bedroom. A fine rendition of Lydia. And you can never really see enough of a Groucho/Dumont double act.
The story IS incidental, and the love interest occasionally irritates...but then this is a Marx Brothers films and that generally is the case.
It may not be top drawer Marx Brothers but it is still the Marx Brothers.
There's Something About Mary (1998)
traditional romantic comedy...almost
Despite everything There's Something About Mary pretty much delivers a bog standard romantic comedy, Ok admittedly it's an occasionally gross romantic comedy, and sometimes tries so hard to shock that some of the sweeter moments are lost. It's not great, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be, I'm a sucker for romantic comedy but tend to steer clear of the low common denominator humour that I had expected to find. I'm glad I didn't it provided a surprisingly pleasant evenings entertainment. Gets a 6, might have got more if my stomach had been a wee bit stronger.
Babe: Pig in the City (1998)
exhausting and pointless
I enjoyed Babe, I thought it was well made, told a worthwhile story in a way that didn't patronise adults (too much) and had a nice feelgood ending.
Babe: Pig In The City just felt like a pointless exploitation of a successful brand, the story was slow to kick in and not worth the wait, the characters were generally unconvincing and somehow unloveable (which was one of the strongest parts of the original), the action was, more often than not, exhausting and hard to watch and most of all it didn't seem to appeal to the child in me and certainly didn't appeal to the child WITH me.
A sad way to treat a potentially great childrens character - gets a 4 from me and only that high because of the look of the film which was it's only redeeming feature.
Little Voice (1998)
A collection of cliches and caricatures
Despite everything this film is a tolerable way to spend an evening. The acting is on the whole pretty good, even Michael Caine, hardly known for his subtlety, manages to inject some pathos into a character who, like so many on the film, is a terribly corny caricature. Horrocks and McGregor struggle to with characters that came across incorrectly as shallow and lifeless (although maybe Billy was meant to be that I don't believe that LV was).
Maybe Caine's performance appears better than we would normally expect from him because Brenda Blethyn delivers the sort of ridiculous performance that makes everyone else look good. I do understand that the character is supposed to be dislikeable, but for the most part she is dislikeable not for the way her character is established than for the way it is performed.
I'd like to say it should have been better but ultimately I think everyone was put to work on a story that may have worked perfectly on the stage but just seemed a tad pointless on the screen.
For all that Caine singing "It's Over" is worth the rental fee alone.
The Wedding Singer (1998)
Enjoyable, despite everything
The eighties were a musical and cultural low, so setting a film within that era is a hazardous, some would say foolish, exercise. Somehow, however, The Wedding Singer manages to overcome the problems of a dreadful soundtrack, awful clothes, and a truly cringe-making cameo from Billy Idol, and provide a largely enjoyable couple of hours. The main reason for this is the excellent performance of the two leads, Sandler does pathos and bitterness in an appealing and yet un-sugary manner, and Barrymore is equally adept at naive and insecure. Together they manage to portray a couple whose destiny is obvious to everyone but themselves, in a very convincing manner.
A couple of quite hilarious scenes (particularly the table full of losers), a couple of nice supporting performances and on the whole a pleasurable if not exceptional film. 7/10
Stage Fright (1950)
Hitchcock by numbers
Now I don't think many would disagree that Hitch had done and would do considerably better films than this, but despite it's deficiencies, most notably the rather tame and unconvincing Jane Wyman, this still is a watchable yarn. Dietrich effortlessly delivers a convincing femme-fatale, and the wonderful Alastair Sim was perfect casting as a witty and charming (almost) rogue.
The story itself is Hitchcock-by-numbers without any of the intensity and suspense that marked his best work, the plot twists were predictable and the pace somewhat lacking.
The film will probably not be remembered as one of his best but thanks to some fine acting and casting and the fact that even bad Hitchcock is generally worth watching, this film probably warrants a 6.
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982)
More hits than misses
OK, the plot is ridiculously weak, and the film loses it's way a little at the end. But Steve Martin was rarely better, Rachel Ward was NEVER better (funny how someone with nothing else worthwhile to her name can be quite so good in this), and the rest of the "cast" is phenomenal. The inter-cutting is cleverly and convincingly done, the gags hit more times than they miss and the whole is a worthwhile watch for anyone with a penchant for 40s film noir and enjoys a game of name-that-star.
Probably the saddest thing is that it's unlikely that Steve Martin will ever make me laugh this much again. Despite its failings well worth the 8 I've given it.
Boys Town (1938)
Patronising claptrap
For the most part Boys Town is a pretty run of the mill comedy/drama weighed down by the overrated hamminess of its two major stars...until you start to feel the remorseless hammering of its pathetically naive message, it tries to cover subject matter that is deep and complex (homelessness, delinquency, crime etc.) and does it in such a shallow and patronising way, serving up infuriating clichés (particularly in the characterisations of Father Flanagan, Whitey Marsh and Tony Ponessa) along the way.
Perhaps a film such as this had a time and a place but you can find 30s films covering serious subject matter in a considerably less condescending manner.
From me a generous 3/10.
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)
A long awaited reward
Having passed on this film on a number of occasions over the years because I didn't think it was my "cup of tea", I finally bowed to curiosity and was engulfed and gripped by the witty, fast paced dialogue and tense action it contained. The acting performances where superb, the script was tight and the whole was a finely compiled and thoroughly enjoyable film.