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Reviews
Event Horizon (1997)
The latest 'Edsel' of sci-fi/horror shlock.
'Event Horizon' is just another big, loud, dumb movie. It's a text-book example of how 'not' to make a film. Gear up a great cast; send them into space with some pricey Hollywood special effects; and then let it all spiral down a hole about as deep and interesting as a shallow pot-hole.
Remember 'The Black Hole'? 'Event Horizon' perfectly mirrors what 'The Black Hole' did wrong almost 20 years ago. The evil that surrounds the mysterious Event Horizon ghost-ship is nothing more than a vague notion of hell. O.k., so the laws of physics have been broken a little. So what? Does that deserve eternal torture on a spinning gravity chair? We never get to see the mysterious dimension that supposedly houses this horrendous evil. We never get to see what faster-than-light travel looks like. The visions of "hell" each crew member faces, are cut so quickly, so sporadically, and so loudly, that the whole thing simulates a form of visual electro-shock therapy. It's all very unpleasant and uninteresting.
The only thing I found remotely enjoyable was Dr. Weir's (Sam Neill) explanation of his "dimensional drive". Unfortunately, it's all cut short by lame banter from the crew in the form of, "Com'on Doc! Speak English!" Wow. Talk about a shortcut to nowhere. It would appear that the writers made a dimensional jump to mediocre, unimaginative, audience condescension hell.
Do yourself a favor and rent 'In The Mouth Of Madness' instead. You'll thank me later.
Spaceman (1997)
'Spaceman' is the consummate low-budget film...
'Spaceman' is the consummate low-budget film despite the bad acting, writing, directing, editing, and dubbing. After being drawn into this silly movie I soon realized that it's not bad at all. It takes so many professional shortcuts it actually enhances the humor of this Indie/Hollywood satire. It's the funniest sci-fi, fish-out-of-water, gangster, kung-fu, love story I have ever seen. The entire film revolves around a nerdy-but-deadly, severely obedient, warrior savvy, alien-trained human, who crashes back to earth years after being abducted by aliens as a boy. Watch and laugh as Spaceman searches for a new commander to take orders from while working as a stock-boy and escaping the FBI. Think 'Starman' meets 'The Terminator' meets 'The Sopranos' and you barely come close to describing this wonderfully original and funny film.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
'Phantom Menace' replaces 'Return of the Jedi' as the weakest Star Wars film.
From the goofy and rubber mouthed Jar Jar to the inane and hollow dialog, this movie stinks. Everything in it feels tacked on from the previous 'Star Wars' movies. Many of the creatures are CG animations and they all feel out of place. The interaction between the real-life actors and the animated creatures looks fake. It's incredibly embarrassing. And just about every scene contains the hyper annoying Jar Jar Binks. He really ruins every scene he's in. It's "Meesaa!" this and "Meesaa!" that. He trips over everything and makes the whole film unpleasant to watch. And why does every alien have an earth-type accent? It makes absolutely no sense at all.
I really loved the Star Wars films. I grew up on them. They were really wonderful, well written, and spurred endless imagination. Episode One is just a hollow spin-off of the originals. Even if it weren't compared to the previous films it would still be nothing more than a really bad movie with really good special effects. It's like one of those goofy Disney sci-fi movies that you never see in the theater and always regretfully see on cable.
Hollow Man (2000)
Hollow Movie
Hollywood producers these days just have to have their flashy visuals and snappy one-liners in any movie they make. That's fine and all but when a movie is as cut and paste like 'Hollow Man' all the rest just comes tumbling down. Yet again we have a wonderful concept wasted by 'Alien-itis'. The dialog is trite like 'Twister', filled with goofy contrived repartee that never goes anywhere. And why is Shue miss-cast yet again as a scientist? She couldn't pull it off in 'The Saint' and she certainly doesn't pull it off here. You'd be better off watching 'Aliens' with your eyes closed.
Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000)
The L.A. version of Seinfeld, only better.
What a treat. Comparing 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' to 'Seinfeld' doesn't do it justice. It's funnier. Can you believe that most of it is improvised? Hilarious, intelligent, spontaneous, adult; West L.A. loves you Larry! Watching Larry David get into trouble in my very own neighborhood is almost too much for me to take. Does that make me biased? Who cares. See the show. Laugh like crazy. The end.
Lost Highway (1997)
What does it all mean? (Spoiler Warning)
(Spoiler Warning)
At first glance one might think 'Lost Highway' is about murderous gangster vampires chasing poor Fred (Bill Pullman) across time and space. But Lynch did not create this masterpiece of light, shadow, paradox, and metaphor to just weird us out. Under the surface Lynch's film reveals to us a man's soul and his attempt to flee from his own despair.
Fred is a man struggling. His marriage is cold, he's impotent, and someone is taping his house. At first it appears Fred is nothing more than the hapless victim of the story. We see Robert Blake (as the Mystery Man) looking like the embodiment of death, talk to Fred at a party. "Call me, I'm at your house." Fred replies, "That's crazy." The Mystery Man hands his phone to Fred. He calls his home and the MM answers, "I told you I was here." The two separate but identical voices laugh, their voices cackling in unison. It's wonderfully spooky stuff but what does it all mean?
The key to the story is the relationship between the Mystery Man (Blake) and Fred (Pullman). Fred is constantly haunted by him. Even when Fred escapes jail by becoming the younger, not so-impotent Pete, he is followed. But he's never directly threatened by the Mystery Man. His threats only come as subtle reminders and visions. The Mystery Man represents a hidden truth about Fred. And it is this truth which Fred is feverishly running from.
So, why does Fred change into Pete? And why does the Mystery Man remind him of his execution after he's already escaped from jail? The fact is, Fred is still in jail awaiting execution. That is the Mystery Man's damning reminder and the spoiler of Fred's fantasy. He never changed into Pete and he never escaped from jail. Earlier, Fred reveals his tendency towards selective memory. He says, "I like to remember things my own way; how I remember them, not necessarily the way they happened." This is a clue into Fred's psyche. He is manipulating his memory and using fantasy to escape reality.
The Mystery Man is the personification of Fred's memory. He shoves a camera in his face and demands, "..and your name? What the fuck is your name?!" The Mystery Man is the awful reminder that it is he (Fred) who has killed his wife.
Dazed and Confused (1993)
For all those people who found their mailboxes busted, I truly apologize.
Ah.. Dazed and Confused. The title of this film does not do it justice. Although there is copious amounts of beer drinking and drug taking, there is an intelligent and good natured core that runs through. The teens during all the fun are really reflecting. From the quarterback who is pressured to sign an "anti-fun" document, to the freshman who must navigate the nuances of the social upper echelon after being ritualistically hammered on the ass.
We actually get to see the realistic dynamics of highschool cliques. There are the cool kids, the jocks, the jerks, the stoners, and the smart guys. But these cliques are not nations unto themselves. The cross-over of friends between these cliques is portrayed realistically with irony and humor. This is how I remembered highschool. It was never 'the pretty perfect students vs. the ugly drug taking hoods'. I watch this movie and I think, 'Hey, I knew these guys. Hell, I was one of them.'
The movie also spares us the usual contrived plot. It really doesn't need it. We are seeing a slice of life here, a part of history, not some lame moralistic story. Even though the ending suggests, subtley, that some of these 'confused' teens are on a dangerous highway, it's done without being preachy or heavy handed.
Dazed and Confused is the closest thing to 'American Graphitti' today's generation has. Although, with the current popularity of Brittany Spears and drug testing, this sadly may no longer be the case.
And for all those people who found their mailboxes busted, I truly apologize.
Lost Highway (1997)
What does it all mean? (Spoiler Warning)
(Spoiler Warning)
At first glance one might think 'Lost Highway' is about murderous gangster vampires chasing poor Fred (Bill Pullman) across time and space. But Lynch did not create this masterpiece of light, shadow, paradox, and metaphor to just weird us out. Under the surface Lynch's film reveals to us a man's soul and his attempt to flee from his own despair.
Fred is a man struggling. His marriage is cold, he's impotent, and someone is taping his house. At first it appears Fred is nothing more than the hapless victim of the story. We see Robert Blake (as the Mystery Man) looking like the embodiment of death, talk to Fred at a party. "Call me, I'm at your house." Fred replies, "That's crazy." The Mystery Man hands his phone to Fred. He calls his home and the MM answers, "I told you I was here." The two separate but identical voices laugh, their voices cackling in unison. It's wonderfully spooky stuff but what does it all mean?
The key to the story is the relationship between the Mystery Man (Blake) and Fred (Pullman). Fred is constantly haunted by him. Even when Fred escapes jail by becoming the younger, not so-impotent Pete, he is followed. But he's never directly threatened by the Mystery Man. His threats only come as subtle reminders and visions. The Mystery Man represents a hidden truth about Fred. And it is this truth which Fred is feverishly running from.
So, why does Fred change into Pete? And why does the Mystery Man remind him of his execution after he's already escaped from jail? The fact is, Fred is still in jail awaiting execution. That is the Mystery Man's damning reminder and the spoiler of Fred's fantasy. He never changed into Pete and he never escaped from jail. Earlier, Fred reveals his tendency towards selective memory. He says, "I like to remember things my own way; how I remember them, not necessarily the way they happened." This is a clue into Fred's psyche. He is manipulating his memory and using fantasy to escape reality.
The Mystery Man is the personification of Fred's memory. He shoves a camera in his face and demands, "..and your name? What the fuck is your name?!" The Mystery Man is the awful reminder that it is he (Fred) who has killed his wife.
Cube (1997)
Not since first seeing the early Twilight Zone episodes have I shivered like this.
Ahh, the dread, the suffering. Oops, wrong cube movie.
This movie truly frightened me. Not since first seeing the early Twilight Zone episodes have I shivered like this. In fact, I do believe that "CUBE' gracefully takes its inspiration from one of my favorite episodes in which a Major, a Dancer, a Clown, a Bagpipe player, and a Farmer all find themselves inside a container of nothing and are forced to ponder their existence. It's a wonderfully terrifying episode I will never forget.
In 'CUBE', our poor cast has the daunting task of travelling through an endless series of traps, each designed to inflict a horrible death upon execution. Some rooms appear safe, while others are simply lethal. The faceless, ultra-efficient machine-traps chill the soul while the mysterious purpose of the entire situation staggers the imagination.
It forces its occupants to ask the fundamental question of 'why'. Why am I here? Why would anyone create such a monstrous place? How can existence be so horribly unforgiving? Is there an exit? Is it even worth attempting to find an exit? Is it testing intelligence? Is it some sadistic rich millionaires idea of fun? Or is this literally Hell?
It is the unknown, personified by the Cube, which makes it so terrifying. It brandishes its own version of reality in plain sight while remaining ultimately mystifying. The two working together, set the stage for a truly memorable and horrifying film.