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Elijah-12
Reviews
Orgazmo (1997)
Porno and kung fu and superheroes, oh my!
'Orgazmo' is a sick, vulgar, crude and totally childish comedy: in one word, brilliant.
Parker and Stone deserve credit for taking three pop culture icons (porno, kung fu and superheroes) and mixing them together in an outrageous fashion. It comes across as a mix between 'Boogie Nights' and 'Kingpin', and is totally hilarious, yet surprisingly deep. In particular, Stone's character, a Mormon, usually belittled endlessly in comedies, comes across as surprisingly together and not as naive as he sounds.
It's definitely sad that a cool and rather original comedy like this one would be ignored by the public, while formulaic comedies without an ounce of originality, like 'Dumb and Dumber' or any of Leslie Nelsen's recent movies should continue to draw good box office numbers.
Leviatán (1984)
Ouch. That was bad.
'Monster Dog' is a 1984 werewolf horror movie starring Alice Cooper. If that doesn't trigger any 'crappy movie' alarms, then something is wrong with you.
It's pretty bad, but somewhat standard for 80's low budget horror. The performance is wooden, the horror is marred by bad special effects, and most of the action scenes take place in a blur of camera motion.
Not the worst movie of all times, but still a stinker. Worth it for the atrocious opening music video which only Alice Cooper die-hard fans are likely to remotely like.
Robot Monster (1953)
I must... Yet I cannot!
Feel free to look at me like I'm some sort of deviant weirdo: but truth be told, "Robot Monster" is one of my favorite movies of all time! The acting, direction, cinematography, dialogue, script, editing are all so bad, they transcend goodness and badness to create something truly original and mind-bending.
While "Plan 9 from Outer Space" may be considered the worst movie of all times by B-movie newcomers, acknowledging "Robot Monster" as the true piece of cinematic crap it is is the first step towards becoming a true B-movie aficionado.
This movie will shatter your suspension of disbelief, stomp it into the ground and hump the remaining bits. You will be left laughing hilariously at the mishaps present in the movie. Truly, if a bad movie is a boring one, then 'Robot Monster' is a masterpiece of cult sci-fi cinema.
Il mondo di Yor (1983)
What an awful mess!
I picked up Yor, the Hunter from the Future, expecting it to be bad. And by god, it was! There is nothing to commend in this movie, and everything to laugh at: the annoying Luciano Pigozzi, the insane storyline, the cheap dinosaurs, the Beach Boy-esque star, Reb Brown, the final acrobatics scene between Pigozzi and Brown...
Another one of these movies which provides a perfect substitute to psychotropic substances. You'll finish watching it with an altered sense of reality, expecting phony dinosaurs to peek from behind your couch or yelling "Yor!" to any muscle guy.
Bride of the Monster (1955)
Squids and monsters and atom bombs, oh my!
A mad scientist from Eastern Europe, a wrestler passing as Lobo, a radiation monster with a fetish for angora sweaters, a giant squid in the backyard, an airhead female journalist and a brain-dead but pretty-faced hero to save the girl. It doesn't get much better than this in the land of B-movies, thanks to the genius of Edward D. Wood Jr.
Strangely enough, if you dig deep down into this poor movie, you find some marks of intelligence. The scene where Bela Lugosi turns down his fellow scientist ("Home? I have no home...") starts with a solid performance and soon turns to the hysterical. This movie will leave you with the persistent feeling that Wood tried really, really hard and failed miserably.
Truly an oddity, and the perfect companion to "Plan 9 from Outer Space" and a 12-pack of cold beer.