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Reviews
Death on the Nile (2022)
Woke Hollywood Ruins the Whodunit
You could have easily figured out who the killer was from looking at the film credits. Armie Hammer is a tall rich, handsome white man with blonde hair and blue eyes. Of course he was going to be the bad guy. But before we get to the other characters, just know that this film was WAY too long. Early on, there is a nightclub scene of music and dancing that seems to painstakingly go on forever. The first murder does not even take place until after the one hour mark.
Back to the suspects:
* A shifty lawyer nobody trusts? Well, he is played by an Indian actor, so he isn't going to be the killer.
* Two black women? Not a chance.
* Two middle aged women? I am no Poirot, but it seemed to me as soon as they were introduced that they were a gay couple. This fact is indeed revealed late in the movie to what should have been nobody's surprise. In addition, one of the two women brags about giving all her money away to the Communist party as if that is some kind of honorable gesture.
* A sweet working class female maid? Not a suspect in 2022 Woke Hollywood. (see above)
* Strong independent middle-aged mother? Safe.
* The mother's whimsical yet submissive son who is in love with one of the black women? Not guilty by association.
That leaves just the straight white folks. Definitely evil.
* The victim's former fiance? An excellent suspect but he is a good-hearted man who goes to third world countries to ply his trade.
* Armie Hammer's loutish Aryan husband of the rich deceased victim and his beautiful white former fiance who was best friends with the deceased? Case closed!
Clearly director star Kenneth Branagh had no interest in historical accuracy. The aforementioned nightclub scene is portrayed as an exclusive 1930s London hot spot. Yet inside, there are people of all races dancing together. The rest of the movie takes place in Egypt that apparently has very few Egyptians back in that era. All the background workers - servants, hotel employees, ship's crew - were all clearly a mix of white and black. There was one awkward scene that had four women in sailing suits carrying a corpse. It was very weird.
I would have given this a lower score but the recreation of the Temple of Abu Simbel was well done.
Dispatches from Elsewhere (2020)
I am a big fan of Jason Segal, but this is awful
I got halfway through the second episode, and his acting is sooo bad. Many of the other actors - main and minor characters - are pretty poor as well. Richard Grant comes off as Willy Wonka on crack. Andre 3000 is pretty boring. The "Simone" character seems forced and preachy (sorry, rage mob). Only Sally Field was worth seeing, albeit a short appearance. Blocking was bad as well.
On the bright side, I do like that they are using real locations in Philadelphia. I am not from there but the businesses are easy to Google.
The Right Connections (1997)
Child Actors For Sale!
Let's don't get crazy. There is nothing redeeming about this silly movie. At first I was wondering what the heck Melissa Joan Hart (who is in a supporting role) is doing in such an awful movie. Then I realized the "stars" were her less talented siblings. This movie is just a chance for Melissa Joan Hart's Hollywood mother to take advantage of Melissa's stardom and to showcase the rest of her brood (can anyone say "Macaulay Culkin"?).
The plot is stolen right from a Brady Bunch episode. The acting is on the level of public access television. Imagine watching the home movies of some stranger's children at their school play. The only person who could enjoy this movie would be named Hart or an MC Hammer fanatic.