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anthony_palumbi
Reviews
The Taking of Beverly Hills (1991)
A poor Die Hard remake
I remember when I walked into the video store when this movie first came out and how excited I was to see it. I had been such a great fan of Die Hard and I have always been a fan of the one good guy against a billion bad guy type of movies. Well, I am sorry to day that this movie is bad. The plot is extremely unrealistic. The special effects are elementary and the acting is very, very, very bad. But it is still fun to watch one guy go up against an army. If you are a real fan of the genre then I would suggest renting this. If you are a so-so fan or less. Find sometihng worth while.
Coyote Ugly (2000)
Eye candy only takes it so far
This movie is not good. Not even close to good. The worst part is, I knew it was going to be this bad and I still went to see it. I guess that tells you something about my social life but don't get me started on that right now. I went in to this movie expecting to see a couple of scantly clad women jumping around on a bar and singing songs and dousing themselves with water, beer, whatever. And there was some of that in the movie. Which is a good thing. The problem with the Coyote Ugly is that the plot is so horribly bad that it made watching this movie extremely painful.
The acting is average at best. Piper Perabo does an ok job in what is really her debut performance, if you don't count Rocky & Bullwinkle and Single Spaced (where her character is named Giant Squid, really quite funny). Her acting and all-around cute-ness would have been much more noticeable if she didn't have to sing those friggin songs during the movie. The editing was so bad during those scenes that I thought maybe Cheh Chang stepped in for his artistic interpretation. Adam Garcia, Piper's love interest in the movie, actually came across as charming and all that good stuff. Maria Bello, the boss, was a little too forced. She tried to be a real hard ass but seemed to keep changing her mind. John Goodman, Piper's father, was the best in the movie. His character was believable and was the only one that you had any emotion for as the movie progressed.
To sum up, this movie was worse than the low, low expectations that I gave it. I guess that that is an achievement. Don't go and see this movie unless you have about 10 people with you and you can make fun of it.
Side Note: Keep an eye out for the terrifically bad rooftop jam session scene. Instant Classic
The Patriot (2000)
Really Bad...
They are the only two words that I can use to describe my feelings on this film. There is no way that you can watch all 2 hours and 40 minutes of this film and impressed. I was laughing at the serious parts because they were so over-the-top and predictable that it was almost sinful.
SPOILERS!!!!! I may have gone into this film a little jaded because of my dislike of the director's (Roland Emmerich) previous works. (Godzilla, Universal Soldier and Independence Day) But there is no denying how bad this movie is. The fight scenes are poorly shot. Too busy, emphasis on the wrong elements of the screen, unbalanced. It might have been better if Roland just let Mel direct those scenes for him. The dialog is a drain mentally and physically. The scene where Heath Ledger's character (Gabriel) goes to recruit militia and his girlfriend gives a speech on patriotism is a joke. It is laughable. The dialog between Cornwallis (Tom Wilkinson) and his men is horrible, almost like it tries to make every sentence a catch phrase. There were tons of other things that aided in this movie being absolutely rotten. First, the scene where he hacks the Brit for a good 2 minutes. Pointless. Why was that necessary? I think we got the point after he killed 15 other guys. Second, the guys were able to hit soldiers from 50 yards away while riding horses with muskets. Ridiculous. Third, Mel is able to save his family from being killed by showing up at the right time with all his men, but nobody else can be saved. Silly. Fourth, his 6 year old daughter doesn't speak to anyone, she starts talking eventually and expresses a hate for her father that is unfounded and unexplained. Dumb. Etc..etc..etc.
I must say though that Mel and Jason Isaacs play their roles well and are the only ones that come across well in the movie. Their performances are hidden by the bad supporting cast and half-baked, historically irresponsible script.
Overall: Not a very good movie. No need to see this in theaters. If you are bored some time in the future go and rent it. But don't go into watch expecting to see another Braveheart or you will be very, very, very, very disappointed.
Bowfinger (1999)
pure crap
this movie is without a doubt the worst movie that I have ever seen in my entire life. I am an avid movie goer and I am seriously shocked at how horrible this movie was. How could two gigantic names in Hollywood sign their names to a script like this. I know that I am not going to be very popular with IMDB members by writing this comment but I feel that it must be done. I actually went to see this movie twice. The first time was on opening night. I thought that it was really bad, and not funny at all. A few weeks later I was online and I saw that the comments for this movie were great. I am a rational person so I thought that maybe it was my mood or something that affected my take on the film. I was dead wrong it was even worse the second time through.