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Reviews
Robot Jox (1989)
The best film ever made. Why it did not win best picture, I do not know.
This is the best movie in human creation. From the millisecond the movie began to when it ended, I could not stop urinating my pants. The movie was simply incredible. Don't try eating Milk Duds while watching it, you will choke on them. Sure, I jacked up my trousers, but it was worth it for this fine film. I couldn't take my eyes off the movie screen, even when there was a car accident outside and the movie theater caught on fire and my eye was gauged out by a falling beam. I spilled my beverage all over the ground, but I didn't care. The movie was too good. Even the guy that couldn't speak English sitting next to me enjoyed it. He kept yelling "ME GUSTA EL ROBOT JOX!" It is obvious that the film is an international masterpiece. We should all appreciate Stuart Gordon for creating this masterpiece. He should have won a Nobel Peace prize for this marvel of robotdom. Oh man, I have to change my underwear every time I think about Mr. Gordon. He makes me proud. His vision of robot battle was something I will never forget. And don't forget: NO GUTS, NO GALAXY! THE RULES OF THE ROBOT JOX. VIVA LOS ROBOTS DE JOX!