unfound's Reviews

Saving Silverman (2001)

17 January 2003

Synopsis: Three best friends who also happen to be morons, find their friendship in jeopardy when one meets the wrong woman, who proceeds to take over his entire life.

Review: "Saving Silverman" is obviously never going to be an Oscar contender or receive any major awards (with the exception of the Razzies), but what it is, is a lighthearted entertaining comedy that proudly wears it's sophomoric, slapstick humor on it's sleeves. But it's that of it's two particular stars Jack Black and Steve Zahn where the heart of the film really works. It's the chemistry that works between Zahn and Black that makes it particularly enjoyable as two idiots determined to save their best friend. The two bounce off each other with offbeat humor that proceeds to the best of their strengths in making them amusing. If you're someone who can't broaden their mind in comedy, then don't bother watching this film, but if you can withstand that of "Full Metal Jacket"'s Gunnery Sgt. Hartmann (R. Lee Ermey) defecating a lawn, then "Saving Silverman" is your choice.

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Insomniac with Dave Attell (2001–2004)

Brilliant

9 January 2003

This show is basically one giant tourist show, about one unofficial tour guide and his late night misadventures in different cities. Dave Attell has got the right persona to make the show entertaining for a half hour by going everywhere and anywhere. Attell seriously finds some of the most bizarre people you thought never existed, but he does. Very much an entertaining watch if you've got nothing better to do.

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One Hour Photo (2002)

A change of pace that reminds audiences of Williams' gift as actor

5 January 2003

Synopsis: Lonely photo developer Sy Parrish has spent his entire life in a quiet, mundane existence. With his employment behind the counter of a one hour photo lab being his only solace, there isn't much joy that Sy seeks out. But his one curiosity transforms into an unhealthy obsession with the Yorkin family, a seemingly idyllic suburban family that has it all. That obsession begins to take over Sy's perception of what is real and what isn't.

The Review: With this film having sealed up what critics call his "Dark Trilogy", Robin Williams finally puts an end to that perception of critics saying he does roles that are too goody goody. Following the mean spirited "Death To Smoochy" and dreadful atmosphere of "Insomnia", "One Hour Photo" is a performance in which we sympathize with Williams' performance as an outsider of society, damaged by his psychological background and left to wander aimlessly without a family. It's an about face performance for the man who gave us "Patch Adams" and "Dead Poets Society" that is one of his best. The film itself is truly disturbing by undermining a normal, everyday thing such as photo developing, as being something more devious than expected. Mark Romanek's film is intentionally disturbing in the fact that it came from his own mind, with it's dreary atmosphere and odd music. But it's the work of a master who doesn't compromise story in favor of commercialism. Speaking of which, "One Hour Photo" is an art film that's away from the furthest recesses of anything Robin Williams has done in the past five or so years.

Grade: B

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Jurassic Park III (2001)

Better than "The Lost World" but still a bit of a copout

15 September 2002

The Story: Years after the disaster at Jurassic Park, and it's fellow island Site B, Alan Grant is peacefully working away as a paleontologist. But the lure of financial security to fund his projects is too good to pass up, which Grant reluctantly accepts from the Kirbys, a wealthy couple to return to the island in hopes of a tour. But Grant soon learns of their ulterior motives, leaving all of them trapped on the island, and trying to evade it's residents who seem steadfast on getting rid of their guests.

The Review: The first "Jurassic Park" was indeed a groundbreaking film, implementing special effects completely unseen in any other film. Technology at it's highest, "Jurassic Park" emphasized a thrill ride of a story with visual effects that were beyond impressive. It's sequel "The Lost World" was obviously a step down from the first with the impressive special effects against the weak backdrop of a story, and a ridiculous ending that had movie audiences wanting less. This time, "Jurassic Park III", is essentially different from the first two. Sans the Spielberg touch, "Jurassic Park III" is a B-movie that has essentially dropped the dreadful exposition that we knew all too well in the first and even the second one. This time drawing on good old fashioned suspense with our troubled heroes on the run, and introducing new creatures. Part 3 is in fact, better than the second one, especially the ridiculous climax from the sequel, but not all that much better. The predictibility factor reaches an all time high in this one, which could barely be found in the first two films. There is less human carnage and more suspense jacked up. But there are fewer and more subtle surprises that be found in this. And I only have one thing to say about the dinosaurs: There's only so many times you can see another velociraptor snarling and fighting before it becomes tedious. It's obvious that part 3 could never match up to the magic of the first one, because it was all about timing, and in today's post-Titanic, special effects driven films, "Jurassic Park III" is just another entry that is nothing more than good old fashioned entertainment, short that it is. If you go in expecting something like the original, save your money. But if you just want a straight through action adventure, then see "Jurassic Park III". On a neutral note, there are rumors circulating that Spielberg is interested in making a "Jurassic Park IV".

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Slackers (2002)

1/10

Ugly, that's all that can be said

7 September 2002

Warning: Spoilers

There's a lot of movies that have set release dates, only to get pulled from distribution due to a legal snafu of some kind, and then put in limbo for a long time. You can only wish a film as rotten as "Slackers" remained in a coma for what it's worth, which is miniscule. Release dates were continually shifted around for this truly awful movie that is so much a bleep on the radar like it deserves. The premise kicks off under the guise of Ethan, a creepy nerd with a scary obsession for the campus bombshell Angela. Ethan devilishly enlists the aid of David and his friends who have been scamming the school for their entire run with blackmail to help win Angela. I don't like to give spoilers out, but for a piece of crap like this I can make an exception. Angela falls for David, Ethan intentionally screws everything up, the good guys win. That's what happens in a nutshell for another tired retread of the teen gross out genre. Gross humor is funny, it always has been dating back to the days of the immortal classic "Animal House", to the likes of contemporaries like "There's Something About Mary" and "Road Trip" amongst dozens of others of which there are too many to mention. But when you use it as a plot point you can only get so far, case in point, Ethan has an Angela doll composed of her individual strands of hair of which he does god knows what with it. No one wants to take witness to watch Ethan urinating in the shower while singing to himself. No one wants to watch a young man singing "She'll be coming around the mountain" with a sock on his penis. But nothing can prepare you for the full visual assault of seeing 50's bombshell Mamie Van Doren bare her breasts at 71 years old. I don't know if it's the story's lack of coherence, which cuts to scenes that make absolutely no sense. Director Dewey Nicks was a former fashion photographer, and after reviewing this film, you can only wish he'll go back to the profession. The worst thing you can do on any film, is to make it look like you're having fun, because you detract from your objectives, just like "Slackers" does, by burying it's plot outline under a pile of gross out gags, pointless vignettes, and lack of construction. It's like a bunch of college students got drunk, took one's camcorder, and shot a bunch of random crap and compiled it together. If you want to see a teen gross out comedy that's actually good, then I suggest "American Pie" and "Animal House", or "Road Trip", just something that's entertaining, and not dreadfully bad like "Slackers". Coincidentally Cameron Diaz makes a cameo in this film, just as she did in another bad film such as "The Sweetest Thing" where the story treats gross humor like another plot, instead of a device much like this disaster.. If you pass by "Slackers" at your local video store, just keep on walking, and let it end up at the bottom of the shelf like it deserves.

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Haiku Tunnel (2001)

Amusing for some, funny for many

16 August 2002

The Synopsis: "I don't go perm on my first week." remark the words of Josh Kornbluth, a San Francisco office temp by day, an aspring novelist whenever. Josh has gotten a new temp job with S&M, a downtown law firm where he works as a receptionist. But going back on his words, Josh takes on a "permanent" position as the receptionist of head lawyer Bob Shelby, and his first task is to mail out 17 high priority letters, but due to Josh's continual procrastination which run between his novel and an attractive lawyer, Josh gets further and further away from completing a simple task.

Review: If you've ever worked as a temp, you'll very much appreciate the kind of humor that the offbeat "Haiku Tunnel" injects. The Kornbluth Brothers' film captures every nook and cranny of temping from receiving that much awaited phone call to carrying out those simple tasks. A former temp himself, lead Josh Kornbluth is amusing in many ways from his unusual, yet warm personality as the inept temp. I really don't want to spoil the humor, but if you're offbeat, and I mean, a very offbeat individual, then "Haiku Tunnel" is precisely the kind of film you would want to view.

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Nowhere (1997)

1/10

...and that is where this movie leads to

8 August 2002

I saw Araki's previous film "The Doom Generation", I didn't understand it. I don't know what his approach was or his look. Instead what I saw was random crap happen all the time that just seemed to go....nowhere. Much like it's "sequel" of sorts, aptly titled "Nowhere", which expands it's cast of characters to make them more obnoxious and stupid than ever before. I don't know if there's a vision or just a bunch of different scenes slapped together, but this really has no point. Araki may be an observer of teen life with his themes that study sex and drugs, but to really study those themes, you actually need a well written story, of which this has none of that. Instead it perpetuates stereotypes of teenagers as outrageously horny, arrogant little sob's. Don't get me wrong, a lot of them are the same things but "Nowhere" ends up amping that up a little too much than it should've been.

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Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

Another implication that movies are going to hell.......

23 April 2002

It goes without saying that everyone is aware that a guy like Tom Green, is a total idiot. His schtick was funny at first because for the first time no one had ever seen a grown man get away with humping a dead moose, causing a ruckus in a supermarket via a motorized cart, or causing an uproar in whatever place he can. But now the inevitable has come, Tom Green has secured the movie deal to basically...play himself. In this hour and a half crapfest, of which Razzie honoree Green proudly picked up the awards, Green plays an unemployed cartoonist who moves back in with his folks and causes upheaval within the household. Rip Torn plays his less than loving father who is fully aware that his son's a total idiot. It went without saying that 2001 was the worst year for films in general, with movie studio product getting a whole lot worse from the likes of Tomb Raider, Joe Dirt, Pearl Harbor, and Domestic Disturbance amongst the dozens of other horrible films ever to disgrace the silver screen. Tom Green challenges his audience, or better yet, grosses us to look at him jack off a horse and an elephant, watch a young boy get slaughtered gruesomely by airplane blades, and the sight of Rip Torn's bare behind. It's not a pretty sight.

Now, don't me wrong, I was dumb enough to plop down the $3.99 it cost to rent this movie because there's no way in hell I was going to pay to see it on the big screen. But I gotta admit, there are standards to comedy, and Tom Green has kicked them deliberately in the balls repeatedly. He'd put Lenny Bruce and Redd Foxx to shame with the kind of crap that he visually demonstrates without restraint. His comedy plays off like a scripted television show that takes things up to the next level that television won't let him get away with. This is supposedly a remake of Roberto Benigni's "The Monster", but I don't think Benigni's film revolved around a guy licking someone's very open knee wound. It's a shame that such a good cast like Torn, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Julie Hagerty, Anthony Michael Hall, and Harland Williams would even consider being associated with this. Let this movie sit and gather the dust that it deserves. Unless you want to use it as a college drinking game a la Glitter, then I suggest going on with it.

Grade: Not even an F would describe how bad it really is

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The Majestic (2001)

A noble effort on everyone's part that just didn't find the right audience

19 April 2002

Synopsis: Peter Appleton is an ambitious screenwriter in 1950's Hollywood, dead intent on making a name for himself. But after an obscure association with communism comes out during the time of the McCarthy era, Appleton finds himself blacklisted from the kingdom he yearns to work within. But after an unfortunate accident, Appleton finds himself struck with amnesia in a sleepy California town where he's mistaken for Luke Trimble, the long lost son of a theater owner, missing in the trenches of World War II. As he begins to adjust his life as Trimble in this small town, he ends up discovering the real truth about who he is, and what he is about to become.

The Review: It's no doubt that Jim Carrey is a truly great actor who can expand beyond his range of usual dick and fart characters. From the urinating in a beer bottle Lloyd Christmas in "Dumb and Dumber", to the ridiculously stupid antics of the Grinch. He proved a breakthrough performance with The Truman Show, which was a summer blockbuster, and turned in a spot on performance in the underrated Man On The Moon, a film overlooked by all including the likes of the academy. In The Majestic, Carrey's third shot for Oscar favor, he turns in a fairly good performance in a film that just doesn't hit the right notes with it's audience. The problem with The Majestic, is it isn't in love with itself, it's not the thin mask of Frank Capra's spirit residing over it, and it's not the picture perfect look of the place, but it's two movies wrapped into one. It's a character driven, small town drama on one hand, and a political, freedom of speech drama on the other, and it can't quite make up it's mind. Because of this, audiences are left pondering what kind of film they saw, not to mention the considerable length of the film (2.5 hours). The cast is very good, but the film doesn't seem to hit the right notes. The production design, cinematography, editing, and direction are well done, but unfortunately, the film doesn't take off like it needs to.

Grade: C+

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Judge Dredd (1995)

Judge This Dread...

15 February 2002

Synopsis: Futuristic actioner about a sun scorched Earth with civilization living in enormous cities. The law now functions in the form of cops who patrol the streets where they are: judge, jury, and execution. One such officer, Judge Dredd has been framed into a murder he didn't commit, by an escaped convict who has a personal vendetta against Dredd.

The Review: This is just a dreadful movie filled with nothing but dumb lines and poor plot devices. I really don't want to waste my time judging this studio funded tripe, because it's a real piece of crap. All I can say is, Sylvester Stallone, no one can forgive you for this, or "Driven".

Grade: F

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The Mexican (2001)

3/10

When all you need are just two big stars to guarantee a big opening weekend

9 February 2002

Synopsis: An idiot (Pitt) tries to quit his job as a courier for a shady boss, which requires traveling to Mexico to pick up a pistol. Much to the behest of his girlfriend (Roberts), he finds himself newly single and embarking on a series of mishaps ranging from a stolen car to a fierce dog. His girlfriend, meanwhile finds herself kidnapped by a sensitive hitman (James Gandolfini) trying to obtain the gun for the idiot's boss.

The Review: Those expecting a lighthearted, quirky romantic comedy about two mismatched lovers, are going to get a crime film with a reasonable share of blood that neglects romantic comedy in favor of bloodshed. It goes without saying that this film would never have been made unless it's heavyweight stars were attached. Lacking substance, "The Mexican" is really nothing more than just a perpetrated bunch of hype meant to collect a whole bunch of money.

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Mission: Impossible II (2000)

4/10

Relentlessly Stupid

26 January 2002

Synopsis: This sequel to the $183 million grossing blockbuster, has returning agent Ethan Hunt in search of a turncoat IMF agent who has stolen a virus and plots to unleash it on the unsuspecting city of Sydney, Australia. Part of it a plan to become a very wealthy individual in cooperation with a treacherous pharmaceutical executive. With the help of a former lover of the agent, Hunt infiltrates his operations and finds himself enraptured with his new romance, and driven by his job.

The Review: I am nowhere near as good as the reviewer on the first page, but I have to admit, "MI:2" is relentlessly stupid, and borrows cliche after cliche, after cliche. There's nothing funnier than seeing the leading action hero shout "I'm not losing you!" to the damsel in distress, something we've seen in dozens of films in the past decade. John Woo, quite literally the best action film director today, adds a few deft touches to a film, that is just bad. It seems like all critics want to do is kiss a superstar like Cruise, right on the keyster because he's such a big star. "Don't take it seriously." they proclaim, as they do a direct hypocrisy of this statement with virtually any other summer film, because it may not have a big star. If you want a good action film, I suggest Woo's earlier efforts "Hard Boiled", "The Killer", and "A Better Tomorrow II". His poetry of violence is sprawled throughout these poetic films that are brilliant on their own level. "MI:2" is completely different from the DePalma film, in thought and action sequence.

Grade: D+

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Teenage Caveman (2002 TV Movie)

The Larry Clark Trademark is here....

16 December 2001

The original with the Roger Corman-Robert Vaughn film is probably much better than Larry Clark's excuse for nudity and sex. It feels as if he took "Kids" and "Bully" and allowed them to populate this clearly horrible sci-fi-horror film that is just totally campy. The film follows a group of survivors, or something like that who take refuge in this bizarre compound where it's hosts are exceedingly strange.....and horny. What ensues is a feature full of attractive people screwing and drugging it up with Corman-style acting at it's very worst. Just an awful, awful film that shouldn't have been funded.

Grade: F

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Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

7/10

Semi-faithful remake to the original with a few deft touches.....

1 December 2001

Synopsis: Remake of the sci-fi classic transplants the story from small town California to San Francisco. A health inspector and his small, intimate circle of friends begin noticing bizarre behavior of their fellow citizens when they start showing no emotion. They uncover a conspiracy to wipe out the human race with clones completely free of emotion. This race of beings are descending upon them fast as day by day, the city by the Bay is becoming headquarters for the clones.

Review: Absolutely creepy in the way it's told. Philip Kaufman and the writing team have crafted a seriously creepy film that has a few deft touches to it. It still maintains a somewhat faithful storyline, taking the characters from the original and putting them in San Francisco, many of the plot conventions that happened with the Siegel version are put in, and a few new touches are put in. There's more of an emphasis on paranoia, as strange people become the eyes and ears of the city. Donald Sutherland is impressive in his role as the less than likable to restaurants health inspector. He provides the soul of a character who doesn't realize the rope he's hanging on is getting smaller by the minute. Leonard Nimoy breaks typecasting as a sympathetic doctor who may not be who he seems to be anymore. Brooke Adams provides the right chemistry to Sutherland's lead character as a sensitive scientist becoming aware of her own boyfriend's odd behavior. Jeff Goldblum before he became famous (or joined a gym) is well cast as the uptight friend with Veronica Cartwright as his uptight wife. The ending is a real surprise and there are some seriously creepy sequences. Look fast for Robert Duvall in a non-speaking role as well as the film's original star and director, Kevin McCarthy and Don Siegel. Director Philip Kaufman pops up twice as the voice of a city official on a phone, and you'll see him as a man with a hat who walks up to Donald Sutherland in a phone booth. Very creepy, and an ending just as shocking as what the original's intended version would have been.

Grade: B+

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Cop Land (1997)

Right cast, wrong director

20 October 2001

Synopsis: Freddie Heflin has always dreamed of being a member of the NYPD, something he had dreamed of since he was a teenager. But one life saving accident prevented him from joining their illustrious ranks with a hearing problem. But he resides as sheriff of a town started by the NYPD and inhabited by them. They're the people he looks up to as cleaning up the streets, but he ends up finding out more than he should know. With the determination of an Internal Affairs agent, he uncovers information that could threaten his life, and the one he needs to protect.

The Review: Here it is, you've got a mega movie star like Stallone, oscar winner and nominee Robert DeNiro and Harvey Keitel respectively, fine actors like Ray Liotta, Robert Patrick, Peter Berg, Michael Rapaport, and Catherine Moriarty among many others that create an impressive cast. What you get is essentially a decent film that prevents it from greatness because of the conventional limits of it's script. It's a Martin Scorcese cast without Martin Scorcese directing, and unfortunately, it doesn't work as well as it should've. The performances are good but not powerful, and that's what prevents it from that greatness.

Grade: B-

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Any Given Sunday (1999)

Don't let the trailer fool you

15 September 2001

Synopsis: A behind closed doors look at a football team and their ever tumultous season both on field and off. An aging football coach struggles to keep the team together while an up and coming quarterback refuses to stay down after spending time in the trenches. Meanwhile, an aging quarterback contemplates retirement after one injury too many in his career. An unethical doctor's beliefs extend to that of the team when he keeps the players on the field. The team's owner, a ruthless businesswoman with a shoot first, ask questions later attitude threatens the future of the team. All in the midst of this, the team players all battle their own conflicts.

The Review: The trailer shows you everything that gives you the impression that this is a hard hitting, no holds barred football film with raw intensity. The sounds of Kid Rock's "Bawitdaba" only foreshadows what kind of images you'll see in this film that will fuel you with testosterone. The epic scope shots of the field, the roars of the crowd, and the performances of the actors has you thinking this is going to be an unbelievable film. Unfortunately, it's nothing like that. Oliver Stone's take on the football world is nothing more than "Natural Born Killers" with a pigskin football. It's constant barrage of images filling up the screen only contributes to screwing up the film's narrative. It's because Stone wants to show us the commerical world that is football, but it's just used too much to create an impact. Shot like a football documentary, the performances are all around good, with the always satisfying Al Pacino at forefront as aging coach D'Amato, and Cameron Diaz as one woman who needs to be taken down a couple hundred notches for her ruthlessness. Dennis Quaid and James Woods are given their own space for performances and manage to create convincing characters. Woods is excellent as the ever so conniving doctor. The cast is impressive, with people such as Matthew Modine, Jim Brown, Bill Bellamy, and Aaron Eckhardt contributing worthy performances. More notably is LL Cool J as one of the players intent on playing the game and holding onto his endorsements. Jamie Foxx, a talented comedian is probably given the juiciest part of the film, and his performance is riveting as the cocky yet naive Willie Beaman, the upcoming quarterback who won't stay down. But unfortunately, if you're aiming to see "The Program", just stick with the said film, because "Any Given Sunday" is not that film. It's a political statement disguised as a ruthless sports film. Grade: B-

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Rear Window (1954)

A classic

1 September 2001

Synopsis: A newspaper photographer with a genius for catching the perfect shot, finds himself shackled to a wheelchair after his latest photographic shot has landed him there. Bored, he develops an instinct to naturally look over at the apartment complex that is within his view. His insurance nurse belittles him with questions about why he refuses to commit to marriage, with a beautiful woman faithfully at his side. But within his reach, he notices something peculiar about one of the tenants in his observation, and it's only a matter of time before he's convinced that tenant has committed murder.

The Review: Probably one of the best films Hitchcock will be remembered for. "Rear Window" is stylish in the sense that all the action takes place in one locale, an apartment. The performances are right on the money with frequent co-star Jimmy Stewart playing the unfortunate protagonist, and Grace Kelly as his doting girlfriend and Thelma Ritter as his nurse. Hitchcock develops the film a good hour and a half, setting it up with little subtle hints and surprises, but it's only in the last ten or fifteen minutes, that everything really kicks in. Hitchcock takes the audience out of text, and they are no longer made out to be the observant, but a participant in this film. Voted one of the American Film Institute's 100 Greatest Thrills, "Rear Window" is an unnerving classic. Definitely a classic film.

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Native Son (1986)

Doesn't have the impact the novel had

30 August 2001

Synopsis: A young black man from the poor streets of Chicago, gets the opportunity of a lifetime working as a chauffer for a wealthy family. But in an effort not to jeopardize his first day on the job, something goes horribly wrong leaving him responsible for a murder.

The Review: Richard Wright's novel is an intense depiction of one man, trying to protect and better himself, whose own self is unwillfully brought into something he just gets into deeper. The book itself is five hundred pages and broken down into three separate novellas. One chunk of the book is exclusively devoted to a lawyer's speech about racism, that was completely excised from the film. The film, in a manner of speaking, is relatively different because it's compressed all the information. The film lacks the spark the book had as well as the impact. Not much sympathy can be said for any of the characters because their development just isn't strong enough. It's a distorted film that doesn't have any strengths to it, and the climax at the end, is really broken down to nothing more than just a series of edited scenes and voiceovers. If you love the novel, and want to see the film, just stick with the novel, because they simply aren't the same. Grade: C-

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Creepshow (1982)

Bizarrely fun to watch

29 August 2001

Synopsis: Unsettling, cartoonish adaptation of classic EC comic series, with five stories as the film's backdrop. The first one tells that of a patriarch returning from beyond the grave, rotting corpse and all, in search of that one delicacy he desired to have the day he was murdered. The second is of a vengeful husband whose murder of his spouse and her lover, has an unlikely backfire on him. The third is famed author Stephen King as a dumb as nails farmer who picks up a meteor from out of space, only to discover that it wasn't such a good idea. The fourth is the story of a college professor who discovers that the thing hiding under the stairs may be the perfect antidote to getting rid of his wife. While the fifth features an evil businessman whose ultra-clean tendencies are of the obsessive compulsive kind, discovering his apartment is infested with thousands of cockroaches.

The Review: Very unsettling, this film is a precursor to Tales From The Crypt, the cable series. It features a stellar cast ranging from the likes of veterans Leslie Nielsen, EG Marshall, and Hal Holbrook, (who all appear in different stories) to familiar faces as Ted Danson and Adrienne Barbeau. Ed Harris is in the film as well as an ill fated boyfriend. It's a truly bizarre film that isn't so much as scary, with the exception of Holbrook's story, but campy. It's very much a comic book like film with melodramatic performances that make it so fun to watch. Grade: B

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Evolution (2001)

3/10

Half bad, half good

22 August 2001

> The Stars: David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Seann William Scott, Ted Levine, and Julianne Moore Directed by: Ivan Reitman

The Synopsis: A meteor crashes into a barren Arizona land catching the attention of an aspiring fireman. He in turn goes to two community college professors to investigate the meteor's crash, and it appears that the meteor has made a home for itself. But it's only a matter of time before the meteor begins to take shape and begins evolving years beyond any normal evolution. Leaving the three men and a government scientist to stop it.

The Review: "Evolution" was made in the midst of the impending actors strike, which never came to fruition. So the feeling that it may have been a rushed project is fine. The film is the latest in a long line of comedies to feature gross jokes, such as an alien anal probe, mooning, and pulling out a bug where the sun don't shine among many others. It plays off as a kind of "Ghostbusters" with a different twist. Mind you, Dan Aykroyd pops up in an unbilled role as a state governor. The special effects are quite impressive involving CGI aliens and creatures. The film is pure slapstick with the sci-fi twist. However, what's not good about "Evolution" is it feels half-assed, therefore reitering the point that this film was a rushed project. It feels like it was sped up for the benefits of cashing in but the film flopped at the box office. The ending is capped on and it just doesn't feel satisfactory. But on the other hand, "Evolution" is a funny movie because it relies on the chemistry between David Duchovny, giving Fox Mulder a dynamic personality, in which his character moons a government official, and Orlando Jones (The 7UP guy) as Duchovny's spastic best friend, a geology professor who's also a women's volleyball coach. It's a humorous movie with some good moments, but it plays better on video tape than it did in theaters.

Grade: B-

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The Shining (1997)

Lackadaisical adaptation of the celebrated novel

20 August 2001

Now, obviously this mini-series can't be fairly compared to the Kubrick film, which in itself is a horror classic that uses all the elements of psychological terror, instead of traditionally scaring people with random visuals of ghosts, with the exception of a few notable scenes. Stephen King, who serves as executive producer, and makes a random appearance in the series, wanted to use his vision and novel, and distancing it from any way, shape, and form of the Kubrick film. "The Shining" follows a poorly cast Steven Weber as a recovering alcoholic and aspiring writer. He takes a job as a winter caretaker for a remote Colorado hotel seeing it as an opportunity to finish a piece of work he intended to finish long ago. With his wife and son with him, he settles into the hotel only to discover it's very dark secrets and tragedies that were never known fully. It's employees and guests return from the dead as lively ghosts, who manipulate the man into revealing his suppressed dark side as he once again indulges in alcohol and becomes a violent drunk with a mallet (no axe) and terrorizes his family.

Unfortunately, "The Shining" doesn't have much strength to it as it seems to build up to something big, but doesn't deliver at all. Like the novel, and excuse my disrespect, it is faithfully adapted, elaborates on parts of the story, and like the those parts, it drags on. I can't remember reading four chapters about how the little boy broke his arm. Obviously it's a very tragic thing that such an incident could occur in the novel, but it's also innumerably stuffed to the point of overkill. King does distance himself completely from the film, but the film, regardless of how many years it was made, still shadows it because of the expectations. There really isn't much inspiring to the mini-series because it just doesn't lift off like it's intended. Steven Weber, a good actor is unfortunately cast here as someone expected to go psychotic, but the developing of his character simply isn't convincing enough.

Grade: C+

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Bully (2001)

A powerful film

18 August 2001

Larry Clark is often criticized for his films which are described in many reviews as "teensploitation" and "fleshpot", in reference to Clark's glorification of teenage nudity. In the midst of these reviews, it has you wondering if he's showing reality or personal fantasy. In his latest film "Bully", Clark takes things up to a whole new level. Based on a true story that occurred in 1993, "Bully" tells the story of those whose contempt for one young man led to his undoing at their vengeful hands. In a small Florida town, a young man named Marty has found himself at the constant abuse of his best friend Bobby for years. It's only a matter of short time before Marty's girlfriend finds herself a victim as well as her friend. With the help of more people, the two plot Bobby's death and find themselves facing the very real possibility of dealing with consequences. Clark pulls no punches with "Bully", like he did with "Kids" by showing the reality of teenagers living a life without parental guidance, and the kind of lives they lead now. With "Bully", the characters do everything teenagers do in the world today as a backdrop to provide the kind of people they're becoming. He pulls the cover from our eyes to see that parents aren't as attentive as they should be when it comes to their own children. The murder sequence itself is actually executed quite well, because Clark catches the real vulnerability of these characters and how far you can really go into a situation without falling. A disturbing film, "Bully" is something you wouldn't want to see on a Saturday night because it's very far from the mainstream in every way. Look for Clark in a small role.

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Pearl Harbor (2001)

Sorry, there's no red carpet treatment......

8 August 2001

Warning: Spoilers

I recently read in the San Francisco Guardian newspaper, that "Pearl Harbor"'s producers, wanted to remake "Titanic" by way of "Saving Private Ryan", and in it's reference to one of the many harsh reviews this movie received, it called the film "oscar-baiting" before it proceeded to destroy the cast. Now, first off, my review of Pearl Harbor isn't as harsh as some critics reviled it, but this movie, is most definitely no "Saving Private Ryan" and it just breathes "Titanic". This $135 million monster of a film follows two soldiers named Rafe and Danny (Affleck and Hartnett), best friends since childhood who are now in the air force, just days before one of history's darkest incidents. In a fit of chance, Rafe falls for Evelyn (Kate Beckinsdale), an attractive nurse, but alas, things change and Rafe is out of the picture (for a while), and Danny falls for Evelyn, and the two embark on a romantic affair, complete with powerful visuals of the two necking. Of course, those visuals are all that you see when you consider the more than overbearing romantic subplot between Danny and Evelyn, as well as Rafe. It's so innocuous that you'll desire for the film to be over. At least half the film is the two making love or kissing or what not, that you'll want to put a gun to your head. The film, is essentially a summer movie because there really isn't much intrigue, you believe that Pearl Harbor is a truly disastrous moment that is gone but not forgotten. The characters, about every one of them, are very one dimensional and that's a no no for many films that desire to be in the best picture category. Alec Baldwin, Jon Voight, and Cuba Gooding Jr. do however make their characters have real depth because they're all based on real people. But their presence in the film isn't huge, because the film focuses on it's lead characters and their RIDICULOUS triangle of love. I believe Bay and Bruckheimer, (of whom many film aficionados have dubbed "the devil" and "the antichrist" respectively) wanted the red carpet treatment. They want the award shows, the endless coverage, and the numerous praises, but their film, doesn't have what it takes to be rewarded those illustrious chances. They're both terrific filmmakers and make a hell of a team as director and producer, but "Pearl Harbor" shows that Michael Bay isn't ready to get serious yet. He was preaching with "Armageddon", but "Pearl Harbor" is a weakness. Spielberg was in his forties when he helmed "Schindler's List" and "Saving Private Ryan" (which strangely lost Best Picture) because he was ready for it. Bay hasn't matured as a serious filmmaker yet, and he moved too fast into this film. However, the real power of this film is in the historical incident itself, which Bay orchestrates with a raw intensity. The looks of soldiers as they are being relentlessly shot at and blown up. The explosions are massive fireballs that sink whole battleships sending innocents to their doom, and Bay makes you feel as if you are one of those soldiers. He doesn't portray the japanese as an evil totalarian army, but as soldiers fighting the war, and aware of what the consequences may very well be. Spoilers! One particular image that stands out if the view of endless soldiers carrying themselves through the field covered in burning oil, their faces nothing more than just black masses of people screaming. It's a powerful image, and Bay shows it. Honestly, I'd say Pearl Harbor is something you can rent, if you haven't seen it in the theaters, you haven't missed anything.

Grade: B-

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Night of the Living Dead (1968)

One of the definitive classics of horror....

18 July 2001

George Romero's film, made on a meager $14,000 budget, became a milestone in horror films, spawning countless ripoffs that never came on par with this 1968 original. The film starts off with a young woman and her brother paying a visit to her father's grave at a lone cemetary in the Pennsylvania countryside. A virtually deserted area, Barbara and her brother pay respects, only to have her brother teasing her in a moment of immature fashion, particularly of a strange man roaming the graveyard in an odd daze. The woman proceeds to apologize to the man only to find herself attacked by something much more darker than she'd expect, and her brother immediately comes to her defense. He only finds himself at the wrong end of the fight, and the woman scampers off like a bat out of hell as the dazed man makes a walk for her. She takes residence in a large farmhouse, and finds herself one of the six survivors trying to defend themselves against a burgeoning army of the living dead. Romero's film is genuinely creepy because it's a throwback to the films of Doris Day and Jimmy Stewart. It's a no holds barred creepfest that becomes scarier by the moment. Depending on the tension inside the house, or the hordes of undead outside. With it's small budget, Romero sought the help of local actors, friends, and neighbors to play the zombies. George Hinzman, the first zombie in the film, was actually in makeup. This is a film to watch with the lights off and the sound up. It was listed as one of the films in AFI's 100 Thrills.

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Requiem for a Dream (2000)

Disturbing in every way, shape, and form

8 July 2001

Requiem for a Dream, is a film that will have you reaching for the remote........to turn the tv off for all the right reasons. By far, this is probably the most disturbing drug film ever made, because director Darren Aronofsky pulls out all the stops, to make you feel as if you are participating in this drug induced nightmare. He intensifies it minute by minute of screen time, having you experience what these people are going through. A film like this, will not end on a happy note because it will scare you in the sense that you'll never want to see a needle. The performances are top notch. Jared Leto, trying to eschew his pretty boy image, is well cast as a loser with a dream to make money, along with Marlon Wayans (distancing himself from any kind of comedy) as his best friend. The most startling performance by far is Ellen Burstyn, in a role that should've won her the oscar, because it's unflinchingly sad. She plays a woman coming apart at the seams from the beginning, only to have drugs set them off. Jennifer Connelly is a strong actress who ends up whoring herself to make money for her boyfriend's business. This is a film that is worthy to watch in classrooms, if you want to scare your students off drugs forever.

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