arkay's Reviews

The Black Cat (1989)

3/10

One of the worst Italo movies I have ever seen

17 November 2020

I have watched a lot of schlock and I really love 80s horror and the stuff coming out of Italy in the 70s and 80s. However, this film has no redeeming qualities, zilch. Most movies have at least 1 or 2 things going for them, be it the effects, the camera work or the atmosphere, but this movie just feels cheap, cheap, cheap.

Story sucks, the actors suck, the English dub sucks, the effects suck, the atmosphere sucks. Even a guy like Cozzi can do better, what were they thinking?

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The Basement (III) (2017)

3/10

Doesn't feel like a horror movie

4 September 2018

This movie is neither scary nor are the death scenes any interesting because everything happens off-screen. Guess they ran out of money for the special effects which is really too bad, it could have actually saved the movie from being a complete stinker. Boring.

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The Evil of Frankenstein (1964)

3/10

Cheap rip-off

21 December 2004

Warning: Spoilers

Apart from the ridiculous plot (hypnosis?!?), lots of ideas were stolen from the older Universal movies.

The monster found frozen in ice and it being used for taking revenge, the laboratory burning down, all seen done before and better I might add. I don't know about the previous parts of this series, but this one is really not worth your precious time.

What they were thinking totally escapes me. If you try to continue or remake a classic series at least show some creativity instead of remixing elements already used in the originals.

The monster looks rather pathetic, too. Not only does it look cheap, but the original at least still resembled a human being and it looked 1000 x better.

The only good thing about this movie is Peter Cushing. Him asking to arrest the burgomaster and even going to his house in order to reclaim his belongings is not too believable though, it made me laugh. Someone who tries to remain hidden and is somewhat sane surely wouldn't act like this.

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Face (2004)

8/10

Another nice "thriller" from Korea

7 August 2004

I found this movie quite entertaining. The story at first seems like the usual Asia horror, yet it has an interesting twist. I don't want to tell too much though. More and more good horror movies are coming from Korea these days and I rank this as one of the better efforts.

It is not your typical haunting ghost story, it's more of a thriller with some supernatural elements thrown in, so it is not very scary (from a Westerner point of view).

Wondering where all of those beautiful korean lead actresses are coming from, it gets me every time ;)

I give this an 8 out of 10.

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(T)Raumschiff Surprise - Periode 1 (2004)

4/10

Amazingly unfunny.

29 July 2004

Somehow this movie didn't manage to make me laugh ONCE. I liked the original skits in the TV series so maybe 87mins of Kork & co are just a tad too much. The best scenes are the ones you can see in the ads on TV, the rest is just plain silly and boring.

The effects are rather good showing an unusual high production standard for a German movie, but that's about all good I can say about this movie.

I can't make out what kind of humor this is supposed to be. I was looking for more than a couple of gay jokes. Go watch Jay & Silent Bob if you want to see something funny :)

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Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

3/10

Halloween Big Brother?

8 July 2004

This is the worst of all Michael Myers Halloween movies (I am not talking about H3 here which to me doesn't count as a real Halloween film). The first 15-20mins or so are interesting mainly due to the fact that Jamie is there. The rest is the usual boring run around, scream and get killed routine seen so many times before. That is all there actually is which is not what I consider entertainment. This movie has no real story to tell, the previous parts at least do have a plot and character development. Looks more like a F13 movie to me than a halloween movie. The script could be summed up like this: 'Lock up some teens in a house and set Michael loose'. 3 out of 10.

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Ring 0: Birthday (2000)

7/10

Quite nice

26 April 2003

Considering this more of a drama than a horror movie it's quite a nice ending (or beginning) of this trilogy. At the end I actually felt for Sadako as where in part I & II I found her pretty scary. The cruelty of the people is what shocked me in this one and makes it hard to watch. The ending is pretty strong and quite surprising. See it, even if you don't like drama and prefer horror!

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Tales from the Darkside: The Movie (1990)

7/10

Quite good actually

12 April 2003

Just saw this yesterday and I was quite surprised by its quality. Compared to todays CGI standards the effects used hold up quite well, refreshing to see something different for a change. I've never had the chance to see the original TV series so I expected something in the likes of Twilight Zone, but this one here is of course a lot more gory.

The stories are original, except for "Lover's Vow" which seems to be more than just inspired by the tale "The Woman in the Snow" from Japan's 1964 movie "Kaidan". Of course the scenery is different, yet the concept is strikingly similar. It's a good adaption nonetheless.

As for the actors, they all did a pretty good job, except for Debbie Harry which I found terrible.

All in all a 7 in my book.

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Darkness Falls (2003)

3/10

Way too stupid

9 April 2003

I'm all for horror movies but this one simply, how to put it... sucks. I lost interest in the story 10 minutes into the film and more and more plot holes were thrown at me during the remaining 75. It all seemed like a really bad episode of Twilight Zone (no offence). I mean, nothing actually made too much sense. I know it's a horror movie after all, yet that doesn't mean it has to be _that_ stupid. I don't want to give away anything, so you better see for yourself. Or do something more rewarding with your valuable time.

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Dinosaurs (1991–1994)

10/10

One of the greatest shows ever

2 February 2003

I'm still wondering why they ever decided to cancel this great show. It had great production value (those dinosaurs look really great, and this is pre-CGI) and it's one of the funniest shows I've ever seen. I still enjoy watching the reruns on German TV.

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Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)

8/10

Fantastic

23 June 2002

I can't see anything wrong with that movie neither do I understand those people who call the plot boring or pointless. All in all it's better than I first expected. The CGI puts more recent movies to shame (Spiderman, Scooby Doo, you name it), it delivers a good message, has good sound fx and a nice soundtrack. Maybe you should give it a 2nd viewing so that you can get a better grasp of the plot. I've just watched it for the 3rd time and still give it a 10/10.

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The Fall Guy (1981–1986)

One of those few...

23 June 2002

80s shows that you can still enjoy today. This cannot be said about many of the other shows out there at that time (Knight Rider, A-Team, all the ones I can't even recall anymore). Got to love that title tune sung by Lee himself as well :)

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Thir13en Ghosts (2001)

3/10

Nothing spectecular

1 May 2002

This looks like a movie from the 60s that has gotten an update using today's effects. The story is so flat that sometimes you feel like watching a Corman film. As to the actors, their talent is wasted here. 3 out of 10.

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Panic Room (2002)

7/10

The ending was strange?

27 April 2002

Warning: Spoilers

--- CONTAINS SPOILERS ---

This movie is quite enjoyable, I really liked it... up until the last 3 minutes. Somehow I got the feeling that they changed the ending (which for me was quite unsatisfying). In one shot you see Forest kneeling down, then there's a long closeup of Jodie (8 secs or so) as if something special was about to happen... and then it's over??? Makes me wonder if it was really planned that way since there are traces of a happier ending all over the place. Anyway, it's still a 7 out of 10 for me.

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The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland (1999)

10/10

Lovely

19 November 2001

This seems to be the Sesame Street adoption of "Labyrinth" (1986, Jim Henson). Yet, I love Labyrinth. TAOEIG is less dark than the original, and generally more funny. Perfect family entertainment (not only for the children) with lots of nice music, jokes and warmth. 10 out of 10.

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Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies (1999 Video)

6/10

Boring

17 November 2001

One can clearly see that this has been a direct-to-video release. It's very low-budget. Don't get me wrong... there are some nice low-budget flicks I enjoy, but this one is just plain boring. Lots of talking, barely no action. All the special effects are saved for the showdown. Rule of thumb: don't do sequels to only half-decent movies! 3 out of 10.

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Anatomy (2000)

6/10

Couldn't be worse

3 November 2001

This is by far the worst non-English horror movie I've ever seen. The acting is wooden, the dialogues are simply stupid and the story is totally braindead. It's not even scary. 2 out of 10 from me.

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Poltergeist III (1988)

4/10

Pathetic ending of a good series

31 October 2001

I have to admit that I really like the first part, I also consider the 2nd installment as a worthy sequel. What makes part I & II special to me is that they have a nice storyline, quite a fair amount of suspense and characters you care for, none of which can be found here. Only 2 of the main characters are left. All this movie has are some nice special effects and a lot of running & screaming. There doesn't seem to be much of a plot as you can find in the other 2 parts. Even if you watch this movie isolated from the other 2, you won't find much to enjoy. If you consider it the last part of a trilogy you may consider it unnecessary as it doesn't add anything to the otherwise interesting storyline.

It's sad to see that this was Heather O'Rourke's last movie, she was the only reason which made me watch it until the end (even though she's not in the final scene). 4 out of 10 for her.

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