Jack Smith - The King Of Horror's Reviews

Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

8/10

One Of The Greatest Vampire Movies Ever!!!

1 June 2001

It is very hard to imagine a remake actually improving upon the original film, impossible even. But Werner Herzog's remake of the silent classic "Nosferatu" is the exception to this rule. The film is everything you could dream of. Scary, surreal, touching, atmospheric and breathtaking with all these elements in almost perfect harmony.

Lawyer Jonathan Harker travels to the castle of Count Dracula in the Carpathian Mountains, despite the warnings of his beloved wife Mina. Despite the warnings of the locals living in the shadow of the castle, he continues on his journey. When he arrives at the castle he disturbed and terrorised by the grotesque, rat-like Count Dracula. Having driven Harker insane the Count falls in love with his wife Mina and travels across the sea to claim her bringing hordes of rats, plague and pestilence with him. Distraught at the condition of her beloved husband, Mina deceides to put pay to the Counts evil once and for all.

This film drastically re-invents the whole Dracula story, which has been choked by countless campy Hammer Horror films restoring fear and loathing to the character. This is boosted by the amazing performance of Klaus Kinski as the count infusing the character with a great sense of pity as well as revulsion. Kinski will always be to my mind the greatest of all screen Dracula's and this will always be to my mind one of the most accomplished vampire films ever.

If there is one fault of the film it is that Herzog tends to make the film a bit too visual for its own good, undermining the brilliance of the performances.

Overall though this is a terrific film.

My Rating: 8 Out Of 10

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Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011)

Legendary Stuff!!!! Pure Gold!!!!

14 March 2001

I had never really been `in' to BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD so to speak; I had seen the movie BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD DO AMERICA during 1997 on its UK cinema run. It was a funny film. Three years passed and I totally forgot about it, then last summer a very good friend of mine taped an episode of the re-runs on cable. We sat down and watched it and our sides almost split! It was hysterical. The program reminded me of what it was like to laugh so much you almost passed out from exhaustion. Together we watched more and more and more episodes, taping them off cable and buying cheap videos of the show and re-visiting the movie. BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD is truly the most outlandish TV show ever, you can always bet that every episode will feature at least one moment that will make you cry with laughter. The actions of the two protagonists are so moronic you are left open mouthed with laughter, shock and dismay. All-time highlights include.

1) The duo sits drawing dead people in the classroom. Beavis has a trademark maniac fit screaming, `Massacre!!! Massacre!!! Maaaaaaaasssaaaacrrreeee!!!!!!!!'

2) Beavis puts his hand in the cage of a mad dog (inevitable outcome)

3) Butthead plays with the telephone creating a bleep then bellows `Kirk To Scotty! Kirk To Scotty! I need more speed Bunghole!'

4) Beavis informs Butthead he left `a surprise' in the bed

5) His computer starts over heating so Beavis throws a glass of water over it.

6) The Christmas Special Beavis working at a homeless centre (wearing a hairnet)

7) Any bit involving `Cornholio'.

There are many more that I will not list here, as it would spoil the show. I'll just keep it simple. BEAVIS & BUTTHEAD is the greatest cartoon show of its era. A classic mixture of stupidity, vile toilet humour, bungholes, sly digs at MTV Generation culture and total hilarity. A winner!!! Huh Huh Huh Huh!!!

I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!!! HE HE HE!!! ARE YOU THREATENING ME? YOU WILL BOW DOWN TO THE ALMIGHTY BUNGHOLE!!!!

BUNGHOLLLIOOOO!!!!!!

Sorry I just had to get that out of my system. My rating 10 out of 10 (of course)!!!

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The Hills Have Eyes (1977)

6/10

Pretty Damm .... Average!

8 March 2001

For years I have wanted to see this film. It is very difficult to find on video in England, which is surprising considering the cult status of the film. When I finally obtained the film in mint condition I was quite disappointed. The plot concerns a clean cut All-American family who leave the road and trek across the desert in search of a Silver mine (as if rational people would do something this idiotic). They find themselves on a bomb testing range which happens to be inhabited by a wild family of cannibals who attack the family once it goes dark. With half of the family dead the family resort to the same savagery as their cannibal counterparts in order to stay alive. THE HILLS HAVE EYES is a very well made film, with a doubtful but imaginative premise. Just one problem - it's simply not very scary. The cannibal villains are pretty crap and are often more funny than anything else. The film eventually resorts to typical Seventies exploitation tactics as people get burned, shot, blown up and raped, plus a dog gets dismembered, but even scenes seem tame after all this time. Infact the film seems like a commercialised, toned down variation of the director - Wes Craven's debut feature, THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. Overall THE HILLS HAVE remains one of the key horror movies of the late seventies, but in my view it is either vastly over-rated or has aged VERY badly. The final verdict? THE HILLS HAVE EYES is just another average horror movie, no more, no less. My Rating - 6 Out Of 10.

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Scream (1996)

1/10

A Cancer!!!

7 March 2001

SCREAM is a cancer, a cancer that has spread and infected nearly all those who have watched it, a cancer that has killed the Horror Genre. The catch is that SCREAM in itself is not an awful film, it is actually quite good. The problem is not the film itself it is the way that people have embraced it. Jaded horror fans who have OD'd on lousy horror movies have been so refreshed and blinded by this movie that they have proclaimed it as the new king, the greatest Horror movie ever. In a word - bull****. Anyone who says this needs shooting, SCREAM is not even in the Top 100 Greatest Horror Movies. Even the director, Wes Craven has made several superior movies. In my view a good comic-horror should not attain glory by ridiculing REAL horror classics like this film ends up doing. Now all Horror Movies are just blatant imitations of this. Parodies of a Parody, no thanks. On its own merits SCREAM is a good film but in terms of the effect it has had it is the worst thing ever to have happened to Horror. THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, DAWN OF THE DEAD and the Italian shockers of Directors such as Fulci and Argento are classic horror movies, SCREAM should never be included in the same league.

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The Crow: City of Angels (1996)

5/10

A Crow With Broken Wings.

6 March 2001

CROW CITY OF ANGELS is the inevitable follow up to the classic 1994 gothic thriller THE CROW. The laws that state all sequels must be inferior to their predecessors are faithfully obeyed here and the result is a rather mundane and disappointing motion picture that flat lines the whole franchise. Here Vincent Perez (badly miscast) gives a weak performance as the doting single father returning from his watery grave to wreak bloody vengeance upon the gang who killed him and his son. He is aided, in his quest by Sarah; a doe-eyed tattoo artist who fans of the series will note is actually the little girl who was befriended by the central character in the original movie. The film manages to be watchable; the apocalyptic cityscapes work quite well, however a maker of music videos directs CROW CITY OF ANGELS and it shows in every frame. The film totally lacks the edge of raw emotion and inner pain that made the original movie so effective. All you are left with in the end is a gothic re-working of the DEATH WISH movies with nothing to redeem it once you get tired of the garish purple, yellow and green colour schemes. The main merit of this poor film is the raw performance of legendary rocker Iggy Pop as a cocaine-snorting villain. My rating 5 out of 10.

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Blood for Dracula (1974)

6/10

Strange Film.

6 March 2001

This has to be the strangest of all Dracula movies. A camp, terminally ill Count Dracula goes to Italy to find virgins, whom he needs to feed from if he is to survive. He targets a family with three young daughters He arouses the suspicions of a randy servant who is having an affair with the two eldest sisters. The emphasis is on ridicule of the whole Dracula legend rather than scares and the film is loaded with kinky sex and features perhaps the nastiest axe killing is cinema history. The cast barely keep a straight face, especially Udo Kier who goes barmy as Dracula. This stomach-turning brew is an acquired taste and in way too long but Horror Fans with a sense of humour may enjoy it. A bit weary but worthwhile. Not for the squemish. My Rating - 6 Out Of 10.

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Howling V: The Rebirth (1989)

2/10

Truly Terrible Film.

2 March 2001

This must be one of the most boring Horror films I have ever seen. Even by modern Horror Sequel standards this is a total stinker. A gang of posh misfits gather at an old castle and are soon attacked by a `mighty' werewolf. It's a bland exercise in no-budget film making with a lot of bad acting, a barely glimpsed werewolf the size of a pony and sets made out of cardboard that you expect to blow down at any second. To be honest this is the sort of movie where you wonder about the mentality of the people who actually pay to see it. Fans of THE HOWLING series, if any exist after the torrent of awful sequels, will also be disappointed to find that this film is taken totally serious, all the warped comedy of the previous films is completely exorcised in favour of a stone faced tale of werewolf killings. It is worth pointing out that there is not really any blood or violence in HOWLING V. If you are silly enough to enjoy this cheap crap then may I recommend that you buy a tin of paint, throw it up a wall and sit and watch it dry, because you are obviously very easily entertained. Shoot this one with a Silver Bullet! My Rating 2 Out Of 10.

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The Keep (1983)

8/10

An overlooked horror gem!

22 February 2001

THE KEEP is quite possibly the most underrated horror movie in the history of the genre. A platoon of Nazi soldiers are sent to guard an ancient keep in the Romania. After a few days the Nazi's awake Molasar, the evil demon living within the keep, as soldiers corpses pile up a Jewish academic and his daughter are shipped in to solve the mystery. The events also effect an ageless warrior who finds himself drawn to the keep. The crippled academic is confronted by Molasar who agree's to eliminate all the Nazi's and cure him of his affliction if he will carry a talisman out of the keep thus freeing Molasar upon the world. But is Molasar an even greater evil than the Nazi regime itself? I have never seen a more thoughtful and intelligent film than THE KEEP. It is a tremendous film which while not terrifying is constantly chilling , I do not remember any other film with such a feeling of impending doom. THE KEEP is a truly superb film that fully deserves to be re-discovered. My rating - 8 out of 10.

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Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

7/10

Original And Entertaining

20 February 2001

Warning: Spoilers

CONTAINS SPOILERS!!! First things first. Fans of John Carpenter's seminal original HALLOWEEN should stay well away from this movie. Hulking, masked psychopath Michael Myers plays no part in HALLOWEEN III SEASON OF THE WITCH which is a grisly re-working of the INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS theme. This time round the plot concerns an evil Irish toy maker who with the agency of sinister masks intends to return Halloween to its witchcraft origins by killing every child in America. As Halloween draws near a doctor, himself a stay away dad (oh the irony) is drawn into the depraved plot when workers at the mask factory are being admitted to hospital and later dying. He teams up with the sexy daughter of one of the plants victims and heads to the town where the mask factory is based and gradually discovers the fiendish plot. This is no horror classic because it is simply not scary but it is well made and acted (Tom Atkins is great) and gets full marks for originality. However it is the highly creative gore scenes that marked this film out for me. People die horribly as eyeballs are gouged out, heads are torn off, power drills are rammed through skulls and Halloween masks and commercials reduce kids heads to a writhing mass of bugs, snakes and centipedes that then kill their parents all culminating in one of the most downbeat endings ever. It is all shot through with a truly wicked sense of black humour and maintains a relentless intensity from start to finish. This film does not deserve to be a part of the awful HALLOWEEN series. As I have said this is no horror classic but it is still very entertaining and is truly one of a kind. Seek it out if you're a horror fan needing a break from the norm (like me). My Rating 7 out of 10

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The House by the Cemetery (1981)

9/10

Terrifying Fulci Classic

20 February 2001

Another terrifying Italian shocker from the legendary Lucio Fulci. A family move into a creepy old house and are unaware that living in the cellar is the flesh-eating zombie of a 19th Century surgeon. The little boy is soon a friend with the ghost of the late doctors daughter who warns them to stay away but to little effect. The creature gruesomely kills and dismembers a variety of Estate Agents, Copulating teenagers and Babysitters leading to a terrifying finale in the corpse-strewn cellar. The Lucio Fulci trademark of graphic gore is abundant as ever but it is the atmosphere that makes this movie stand out. Bumps in the night and the ominous crying of children coming from the cellar are just some of the factors that assault and disturb the viewer. This is a truly amazing movie that relies on shock and terror rather than revulsion. The gore just adds to what is already a truly chilling little tale of cannibalism and depravity that will linger in the mind long after you've forgotten about the illogical plot and poor dubbing. One of Fulci's best films. Deserves its cult reputation. My Rating 9 out of 10.

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Amityville II: The Possession (1982)

9/10

A Truly Brilliant Horror Movie

30 January 2001

Warning: Spoilers

SPOILERS!!!!!!!!!!! A sequel dealing with the horrific events that took place before the proceedings of the original AMITYVILLE HORROR. An Italian American family move into the notorious Long Island residence and evil demons waste no time in creeping up on them. Mirrors fall from the walls, blood gushes from the taps and paint brushes take on a life of their own. Meanwhile the teenaged eldest son named Sonny embarks on a torrid bout of incest with his younger sister. Eventually Sonny, possessed by the demons in the house, brutally slaughters his whole family. Convinced that the boy is possessed the family priest Father Adamsky fights to save Sonny's soul. The highly praised original film was a well made and creepy affair, this sequel is even better. It is a potent, terrifying and highly disturbing mixture of supernatural phenomena and gory horror. The family are a highly turbulent group, their frequent arguements are often painfully bitter and violent, adding an all too human element to the film. The cast are tremendous especially Burt Young and James Olson who give Oscar Worthy performances. The final scenes where Father Adamsky battles the demon inside of Sonny are truly chilling leading to the most downbeat ending I have ever seen. The demon takes over Father Adamsky, forsaken by his own God. The message of the film - GOD IS DEAD, SATAN IS THE ONE WHO REALLY RULES OUR EXISTENCE. Genuinely frightening stuff. A brilliant horror film that is better than the original. My Rating - 9 Out Of 10.

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The Watcher in the Woods (1980)

5/10

Doomed Disney Horror Project.

30 January 2001

This movie is a strange attempt by Disney to make a Horror Film that everyone can enjoy. Such a project was doomed from the outset, Horror Films can never be all things to all people, and Disney should have known better. THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS has since sunk into total obscurity and is widely regarded as a total failure. A while back I actually viewed the film. It is obvious that Disney were keen to make a film that could be of the same appeal to an adult audience as it would have to children. It fails on both counts. Few younger children will understand the plot and Adults will be bored by what is essentially a rip off of THE HAUNTING, THE EXORCIST, AMITYVILLE and the other Supernatural Chillers of the period, sanitised for children. As a Horror Film this is a Wash Out, the film is only occasionally creepy, there is no blood or gore and no effective shocks. Not of much appeal to anyone really but good use of locations and solid Disney production values prevent this from being a complete stinker. Of possible cult potential. The film has never been available on Video in England, but I am sure it would make a tremendous DVD. If THE WATCHER IN THE WOODS was ever released on Video or DVD in England I would probably still buy it despite of the way I have criticised it in this review. My Rating - 5 Out Of 10

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The Amityville Horror (1979)

7/10

Decent Chiller

30 January 2001

A decent chiller based on a sensationalised "True" Story. The film is very atmospheric and has genuinely chilling (yet not truly scary) moments. At Two Hours long the film does threaten to become a little dull at times but manages to hold you attention. James Brolin and Margot Kidder both give tremendous performances, but Rod Steiger is hammy as the priest. A solid, creepy, well directed movie well worth watching. The films astonishing $86 million box office taking is bizarre. The sequel AMITYVILLE II - THE POSSESSION (really a pre-quel) was even better. All the other sequels were terrible. My rating - 7 Out Of 10

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Deadly Blessing (1981)

8/10

Deeply Creepy And Intelligent Horror

23 January 2001

Warning: Spoilers

***SPOILERS*** This early effort from director Wes Craven is a Deeply Creepy and Intelligent horror film. The plot concerns a young widow living on a farm community occupied principally by a devout religious cult known as the Hitties. Her deceased husband was an ex-Hittie who died in mysterious circumstances. Two of her friends arrive (one played by a young Sharon Stone) to keep her company. The three are menaced by the Hitties who claim they are with the "incubus". I am dismayed that most Horror fans say that this film is rubbish. I think that it is an excellent film. The plot is totally original and is open ended as to how you interpret it. I certainly preferred this film to Craven's effective yet sadly totally one dimensional earlier hits - LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT and THE HILLS HAVE EYES and it is certainly a much better film than NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, SCREAM and all the other commercial crap that Craven went on to make. Characterisation is great, bolstered by phenomenal, convincing performances. The legendary Ernest Borgnine is great as the Hittie Leader Isaiah, Maren Jensen is great as the doomed heroine and Michael Berryman reprises his big baby act from THE HILLS HAVE EYES to good effect (a pity he dies after 20 minutes). The characters, Isaiah especially, seem to have very complex motivations and attitudes meaning the film is never quite what you expect it to be. The film is also careful not to be too wordy and throws in some good shock effects including a Snake In The Bath. Best of all though is the shock ending which rivals the ending of CARRIE. All the way through the film you think that Isaiah and the Hitties are insane so when at the end the Incubus really does appear to drag the heroine down to hell you truly do share the horror of the moment. If their is one thing that lets THE DEADLY BLESSING down it is the occasionally stupid dialogue, the best example has to be when Isaiah barks at a young blonde girl "We Are The Kindred Of God We Have No Dealings With The Serpents", why are there no memorable quotes listed for this film? Those who demand non stop gore will hate this, but I would recommend this to anyone who can use their imagination. Of all the films Wes Craven has directed only THE PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS is better. My rating - 8 out of 10.

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The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

8/10

A truly warped and brilliant comic-horror movie!

16 January 2001

This is an excellent film that puts the fun back into Horror Films. Ken Russel uses only the title and basic plot outline of Bram Stoker's underrated novel and goes over the top with everything. The result is the most outrageous, outlandish, funny and just damm wierd horror film in years. Sure it's not in the slightest bit scary, but how can you argue with Hugh Grant hopping round the set like a hyperactive bunny, Amanda Donohoe biting a boy scout where it hurts the most and maidens being sacrificed to a giant worm? Fast paced lunacy and mayhem is the name of the game here in a film that should please everyone able to suspend their logic for 90 minutes. I loved it. My rating - 8 out of 10.

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Eaten Alive! (1980)

1/10

Awfully Good!

16 January 2001

Warning: Spoilers

***SPOILERS*** This movie - called EATEN ALIVE here in the UK is quite possibly the worst film ever made and is brilliant just for that. A sexy rich girl teams up with a rugged action man to search for her sister in the New Guinea jungle. What follows is an unspeakably crap mixture of cannibalism, insane cults and religious maniacs that has to be seen to be believed. The cannibalism scenes are quite horrific but are so badly staged and acted that they prove quite amusing. The cast are awful except for Janet Agren as the female lead who is excellent. Look out for the scene where she is stripped naked and covered with gold paint! My rating - 1 out of 10.

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Suspiria (1977)

6/10

A Fairytale Come To Life.

16 January 2001

SUSPIRIA is widely regarded as a masterpiece of the Horror Genre. Many say it is the greatest Italian Horror Movie ever. These people need to lay of the cough syrup, i'm worried about them! SUSPIRIA may be a classic piece of Neo-Gothic Surrealism and the career defining work of the wayward firebrand DARIO ARGENTO, but it is not in my book a classic horror film. SUSPIRIA is one of the most incoherent films I have ever witnessed, at times it is impossible to tell who is being slaughtered and why. The dubbing is awful and the vulgar colour schemes with which ARGENTO is always obsessed get annoying. At it's best SUSPIRIA has the atmosphere of a fairytale come to life and has a wonderfully jolting soundtrack. However it seemed to me that the "plot" has been made up or improvised as it goes along. I preferred the semi-follow up INFERNO which is even more vulgar and incoherent! In conclusion SUSPIRIA is in no way a poor film, it is a surrealist masterpiece worthy of praise, it just didn't really do anything for me. My rating - 6 out of 10.

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Season of the Witch (1972)

7/10

Creepy Chiller From George Romero

16 January 2001

Warning: Spoilers

***CONTAINS A SPOILER*** This is a creepy chiller from GEORGE ROMERO. It doesn't really work on a shock and a shriek level but is creepy and bleak throughout. The film is blessed with excellent acting from all concerned and raises serious questions about society. The scene where a man in a Satan mask tries to force his way into the house chills the blood as the border between fantasy and reality becomes increasingly blurred. A minor classic from one of the last truly great horror directors. May not be to all tastes. My rating - 7 out of 10.

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The Last House on the Left (1972)

6/10

A Fuss Over Nothing!

16 January 2001

Having heard so much about how shocking and violent this film was, and because it was banned in the UK I forked out for the uncut French DVD of this movie. Having sat through this film in it's uncut form I can honestly say that I was not at any point shocked or disturbed by anything in this film. LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT is not an especially violent film nor an especially good one. The violence displayed here pales beside that shown in movies by Italian directors such as LUCIO FULCI and DARIO ARGENTO. The film is very dragged out and at times quite dull. It fails as a horror film because it is simply not scary. This film cannot hold a torch to the likes of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and it's huge cult status is totally undeserved. The sole "virtue" of this movie is the superb performance of David Hess as leading psycho Krug Stillo. An average exploitation movie, no more, no less. 6 out of 10.

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Drop Dead Fred (1991)

6/10

Average and Strange

22 December 2000

This is a very strange movie. Too strange in fact to be all that funny. Rik Mayall may well be the funniest man on the planet but that's not necessarily going to make 90 minutes of him going crazy all that funny. This is a lesson that the makers of "Drop Dead Fred" should have learnt. Don't get me wrong this film has its moments, a couple of scenes are screamingly funny (the fire engine). The film is too uneven. One minute its unbearably cute and sickly sweet, the next its truly dark and anarchic. Just when it seems that the film is going for kiddy orientated comedy Drop Dead Fred turns up and wipes Dog Crap every where. Some scenes such as Drop Dead Fred meeting up with other peoples "imaginary" friends at the nut house are more disturbing than funny. The final scenes are unbearably sad and poignant and simply seem out of place. Rik Mayall is brilliant, Carrie Fisher is seemingly terminal and Phoebe Cates is awful. This is the sort of film that you think is hysterical when your 8 Years Old. Adults will find this too annoying to be funny. Overall a definate 6 out of 10.

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Necronomicon: Book of Dead (1993)

5/10

Weak horror compilation.

6 October 2000

This compilation of several grim horror tales is rather weak and is a sad example of the way the horror genre went off the rails during the early nineties. The final part is very gruesome and gory and should appeal to gore hounds if they can sit through the hour of tedium leading up to it. A bit poor frankly.

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Children of the Corn (1984)

6/10

Mildly above average modern horror.

6 October 2000

This mildly above average modern horror is actually one of the better Stephen King adaptations. This is quite a creepy film that is quite daring by giving away the whole plot right at the start by showing all the adults in a small religious town called Gatlin getting murdered one Sunday after church. This is quite a gory scene that manages to grab the attention of the viewer without making the rest of the film a waste of time. Children Of The Corn then manages an extremely promising and fairly gory opening half an hour as a young doctor and his girlfriend (parts well acted by Peter Horton and the very sexy Linda Hamilton) get lost and get closer and closer to wandering into Gatlin and finding the murderous cult of adolescents led by lunatic child preacher Isaac and his bloodthirsty sidekick Malachi. Sadly once the couple arrive in Gatlin the film seems to self destruct. The film begins to follow a very tired formula and becomes less and less convincing by the second as the film becomes little more than a series of unexciting chases up and down a town the size of your average back yard until the ending which sadly seems to be little more than an excuse for some now fairly unimpressive special effects. The inconclusive ending will also infuriate viewers. Children Of The Corn is certainly not a bad little movie but then it isn't all that good either. The first half of the film is gripping and contains one truly heart stopping shock moment and is worth watching just for that, the second half of the film frankly is pretty poor and unsatisfying. Children Of The Corn is certainly fairly eerie but it sadly never even tries to be seriously scary. Taking into account the undeniably lurid and chilling central idea Children Of The Corn could have been an extremely disturbing film. Tragically it isn't but it still stylish and occassionally creepy enough to be worthy of attention. Beware of the awful sequels!

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Porky's (1981)

8/10

A true comedy classic

6 October 2000

One of the greatest comedies ever made! Porky's is an absolute joy to watch full with extremely funny gags and wonderfully rude set pieces including "that" legendary shower scene which has to be seen to be believed. This film just puts modern rip-offs such as American Pie to shame with it's unrivaled hilarity. Wonderful! If you have never seen this brilliant film then you haven't lived. This is one of the most enjoyable films that I have ever seen.

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Body Chemistry 4: Full Exposure (1995 Video)

6/10

C**p movie redeemed by its gorgeous star - Shannon Tweed.

5 October 2000

This mundane Erotic Thriller has a very weak plot but is redeemed by the inclusion of surprisingly explicit sex scenes featuring Shannon Tweed. I have said it a thousand times and now I am going to say it again, Shannon Tweed is the most beautiful woman alive and any film featuring her in naked sex scenes has to be worth watching.

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Jaws: The Revenge (1987)

7/10

The best of the "Jaws" sequels.

5 October 2000

I will never understand why there is so much hatred directed towards this film. It is the best of the "Jaws" sequels. It goes without saying that this film comes nowhere near to the standards of the original but it is great entertainment and is always good fun to watch. The direction is poor and Mario Van Peebles as the madcap scientist Jake is the only standout performer in the entire cast. You get to see some seriously nasty Shark Attacks which include arms being ripped off and the clear carribean oceans in which the majority of the action takes place are turned red with blood on more than one occassion which is a big plus. The one thing that stops this from being a really great movie is the ridiculous plot, you cannot seriously believe for one moment that the shark holds a grudge against the Brodie Family. This suggestion of the supernatural is more than a bit stupid and is impossible to overlook. Despite of this Jaws: The Revenge is still a very good film featuring the best Shark Attack scenes and Underwater Footage in the "Jaws" Series and the hilarious bonus of getting to see Michael Caine make a fool of himself and for these reasons alone is worth watching. Overall this is a good film that does not deserve the excessive criticism which it has got from so-called fans of the series and know-it-all film critics.

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Jack Smith - The King Of Horror

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