Reviews

I love Jason Statham. I think he's underrated as an actor. I want to say that up front because goddamn is this movie bad. The writing is just so abysmal, it's literally hard to explain. The dialogue, the characters, the plot.... Basically every word apoken is try-hard-fake-Gen-z-speak and too much swearing. And I like swearing. But you can't just use it as a substitute for... well... everything. Humour? Swearing. Anger? Swearing. Affection? Swearing.

So there's the faulty foundation upon which this monstrosity is built. And from there things don't get much better. The sound design, in particular on the dialogue, is just awful: No matter the situation it sounds like the characters are doing voice over - there's zero depth/echo/reverb. There's characters giving speeches in cavernous rooms and it's like they're standing right next to you.

Let's wrap this up with two more observations: Firstly, Jason Statham and Jeremy Irons do the worst American accents. Secondly the only people who come out of this with any credit are whoever choreographed the fights and the DP - good fights, great lighting. That's it. Everything else is bottom of the barrel.

Vigil isn't a terrible show by any means, it's just nowhere near a great one. If you're looking for a by-the-numbers thriller then you'll enjoy it - there are the requisite "twists and turns" along with the standard 1960s-Batman-style end-of-episode cliffhangers, which are quickly resolved at the begining of each new show - but there's also dialogue so eye-rolling it sounds like an AI ingested every third-rate spy/military novel ever written and regurgitated it with the absence of any human involvement. At least I hope it was done without human involvement, otherwise I feel bad for the humans involved.

All the actors are pretty good, at least given the material they have to work with, but Suranne Jones (who is unquestionably talented) falls into the trap of relying on her greatest hits rather than genuinely reacting to the situations around her. See her harrowed, see her shaken to the core, see her incredulous, see...n it all before unfortunately. She has a lot of heavy lifting to do though, so I don't really blame her.

As I'm writing this review The Bubble is sitting at 4.7 out of 10. That's the kind of score that usually tells you that you should give a film a miss, but I'd encourage you to ignore that and give this one a chance. It's not the kind of movie that's going to change your life but I legitimately found it had some good laughs in there.

I'm not sure why it's rated so low... Perhaps, as another reviewer who enjoyed the film postulated, I just have a weird sense of humour that made me like it when others didn't. Or maybe it's the memories of the early days of the pandemic that this brings back, causing a negative reaction. I don't know, all I know is I enjoyed this and you might too.

Firstly, the character design in this film is abysmal; every character is hard to look at it. Secondly, the whole concept is quite strange, and frankly pretty sinister - animals and humans live side-by-side and can talk with each other, yet cows are still milked, certain animals are threatened with extermination, etc... Beyond that the whole thing is very strange, the main character is apparently a retired vet, but also has been knighted? There's a policeman obsessed with catching a beaver? There's a duck who flies a plane?

The storyline veers from repititce and predictable to bizarre and inexplicable, and the jokes and stereotypes feel dated at best, and for a kids film, there are some weirdly sexual, and quite frankly offensively sexist moments with female characters.

I don't know who funded this but I feel bad for them.

Avoid.

It's crazy to me that this film is so beloved. Can you imagine making a wacky movie about other tragedies? Perhaps a father and son are on one of the planes that's involved in 9/11, and the father lies to the son and says it's all a game? If that sounds offensive to you, then guess what - it is! Now take a second to think about this movie - I have no doubt that everyone involved had good intentions but there shouldn't be a light-hearted take on any tragedy, whether it be the Holocaust, slavery or 9/11. Some things shouldn't be trivialised, because doing so minimises the actual suffering that the victims and their loved ones had to endure. No one in any of those situations would have been able to suspend their disbelief that it was a game. Presenting it as otherwise, even when dressed up as an inspirational tale, is misguided and disrespectful to the pain they were forced to endure.

Some good performances, beautiful cinematography and the occasional snappy-and-well-measured line make sure this isn't a chore to watch, but there's moments of eye-rolling cliche ridiculousness and poor casting mean this is a film that can't ever rise above a 6 out of 10 overall. The characters are one dimensional at worst and two dimensions at best, serving the need to move the story towards its conclusion rather than to (and forgive me for sounding pretentious, it's not something I'm comfortable with) offer any kind of enlightened or revelation.

It's always a pleasure to see Bobby Cannavale and Paul Rudd, and if you're a fan of any of them or any of the other actors I'd recommend giving it a go. There's certainly many worse films out there, but, at the end of the day, that is no reason to recommend spending (as the film says) your precious time if there's better alternatives.

The tonal shifts in this film are something to behold, and I don't think they're intended to be so... Nauseating? It's hard to say, as obviously it's meant to progress (without spoilers) from one genre to another but it seems neither subtle enough to be a slow burn, nor deliberate enough to be intentionally (and the keyword here is "intentionally") jarring.

It's a real head scratcher... On top of the strange thematic shifts, the film suffers from characters that are unlikeable across the board, with the exception of Emma, and unresolved plot threads. To give it credit, I would say the first 40 minutes is interesting enough that you want to see where it goes, but personally I felt that where it went was unimpressive. It's not an outright "bad" film (as it manages to be engaging to an extent), just a poorly realised one.

This sounded like it could be an interesting documentary about a niche profession, but instead the occupation isn't important to the film. Instead it's used as a means to allow an assortment of ordinary people to share their views on whatever is on their mind. Some are amusing, or thought provoking but there's not enough to fill a feature length documentary. It drags.

I never binge watch shows as, unfortunately, I have quite a short attention span. For some reason though, I really got into Squid Game to the point I watched the first six episodes in two nights. I was looking forward to the same for a third night and then... This.

The VIPs are awful. Just awful. The dialogue would be hideous in written form alone but the way the actors deliver it is like bad 90s video game quality.

Even without that the episode itself is slow and the game lacks intrigue - it's random chance for the most part, with only a brief moment where it seems like there's a way to logically solve it, which is soon snatched away.

I hope the remaining episodes return to a higher level of quality, but more than that I hope to never, ever see or hear dialogue or performances as bad as the VIPs ever again, in any form of media.

So Goldie Hawn plays a rich jerk who doesn't pay Kurt Russell for doing a job for her. He could call the cops, but he doesn't, I'm not sure why, maybe he's in trouble for something himself.

Anyway Goldie Hawn's character gets into an accident and loses her memory and it's on the news... So of course Kurt Russell's character does the logical thing and gaslights her into becoming his idea of a "perfect housewife" even going as far as to lie to her that his four children are hers, and imply that she is an awful person for not feeling maternal over them. There's a bunch of humiliation and creepy sexual pressure but hey, it's ok, she's rich and a jerk, so she deserves it, and anyway Kurt Russell is kinda dreamy so it's not all bad!

How about no? Just no.

Anyway, the ending will shock no one. You can guess it right now, I bet.

There are some funny moments in there, I won't lie, but the plot is just way too grim. I know it's just meant to be a light-hearted comedy, and it was made over 30 years ago, but the moral is basically if someone treats you badly, treat them much worse. That kinda kills the light-hearted vibe for me.

If you look through the other reviews here you'll see a rash of early 10s and from then on it seems like every review swings wildly between love and extreme dislike.

If I had to guess why it would be around expectations and perhaps marketing too. This film isn't a thriller or a horror in the conventional sense. That's neither bad or good in itself, but if you were expecting a slasher film you'd be disappointed.

Instead Coyote Lake is a dark but gently paced and fairly simple story that is well written, well shot and well acted.

I would definitely recommend it, but I would also advise that the viewer goes in with as little expectations as possible to maximise the experience.

I think it's fair to say we're all increasingly aware that the kind of eating habits that became the norm in the last part of the 20th century are just not good for us. Too much of what were previously "luxury" items has, unsurprisingly, seen so-called "rich man" health issues like gout, diabetes and obesity have been on the rise in the same time frame.

Normally the blame for a lot of that is placed on sugars, fats and additives but what this movie suggests is that actually the real culprit is animal products. And not just the usual suspects like processed or red meats, but chicken and fish too.

It's an interesting premise and one that could have been a fascinating documentary, but the lack of a balanced take (all the doctors and all the statistics support the filmmakers point) lazy documentary 101 tactics (pitching complex dietary questions over the phone to the minimum wage customer advice workers) and feigned naivety (companies exist to make money, who knew?) ultimately reduces proceedings from "Wow" to "Meh".

As someone who has recently turned vegan it would've suited me down to the ground if this had been a measured, thoughtful and compelling argument for the health based benefits of a plant-based diet that I could recommend to Vegans and Non-Vegans alilke, but as it is, I wouldn't suggest it to either.

Surf School is without question one of the worst movies I've ever had the misfortune to watch. It's dull, predictable, poorly conceived and painfully unfunny. The characters are paper thin and the plot lurches awkwardly from one yawn-inducing scene to the next. There is not a single original or entertaining moment in the entire 85 or so minutes. This film tries to position itself as a comedy in the vein of American Pie but whilst that movie (and it's first sequel) succeeded at being both entertaining and engaging Surf School fails spectacularly on both counts.

This movie should not be watched by anyone ever.

As a side note I find it interesting that the people who have left comments raving about how great this movie is have never commented on any other films. Draw from that your own conclusions.

To be perfectly blunt, this movie sucks. The characters are one dimensional, the plot is overly simplistic and Robert Duvall (who I am a big fan of) does a ridiculously bad Scottish accent. I don't blame him for murdering it, it's a tough accent to do but if he couldn't do it then he shouldn't have used it. However, despite these obvious flaws the film is most definitely watchable although you'll surely forget it just as soon as the credits have finished rolling. There are some good points, Ally McCoist is better than expected, Andy Gray & Rob McLean's commentary is great and really helps the film and Owen Coyle is in it which made my flatmate, an Airdrie fan, happy. Overall I would not recommend you watch this unless you're particularly interested or really have nothing better to do.

I like teen movies. Even the ones that are a little dumb. Why? Because they are fun to watch.

"Get Over It" is not fun to watch. It's painful. It's incredibly unfunny. It's like anti-funny. It actually sucks the humour out of your body. I am personally planning on tracking down the director and the writer of "Get Over It" and taking whatever measures necessary to ensure that they never make another film.

Wish me luck.

I really liked the first two AP movies so I was looking forward to seeing this one. Unfortunately it didn't live up to my expectations. It starts off well with a really funny pre-credits sequence but after that it goes downhill. There are a few hilarious moments throughout but not enough to stop you from leaving disappointed. If you're a really big fan of the series you'll probably love it anyway but if you're not then don't get your hopes too high.

Ok so when I finished watching this film I thought it was really weird. It had subplots that didn't go anywhere and characters that were direct copies of other characters from the first film but with different names.

But then I read the "Trivia" and "Alternative Versions" and it all made sense. I think its a shame this show got cancelled. It might have improved as it went on. As a film though it kind of sucks. I would still recommend it to fans of the original because it's interesting and does give you a little insight about the history of the main characters.

Plus, as everyone else mentioned, there is nudity. Always a bonus.

Ok, so this is just a cheesy action movie but that doesn't mean you have to hate it. It's got a lot of plus points. The performances of the two leads is good and they do have actual chemistry. Plus this movie is funny; whenever the cops come to a dead end they just beat some people up. There is a fight every few minutes. It's great. Plus it teaches kids an important lesson: VIOLENCE SOLVES EVERYTHING! Wooooo!

What I don't get is how come Michael Biehn isn't a bigger star. He is quality.

If you see "American Dragons" on TV then give it a look, you might like it as much as I did.

You might not though. I'm not promising anything, ok? OK?

Oh man, this film was awful. I only watched it for two reasons: Catherine Zeta-Jones (babe) and Owen Wilson (he's the man) but not even they could save "The Haunting" from sucking.

Almost everything about it was bad. The plot had massive holes and the direction was sloppy. Of course you could forgive this if the film was actually scary. But it wasn't. It was mind bendingly dull. You never felt threatened and there were no big shocks.

All the actors tried their best, except for Lili Taylor whose performance was extremely annoying, but there was nothing they could do. "The Haunting"'s extreme lameness overwhelmed them.

I gave this film 3 out of 10 because I was feeling generous. Avoid it unless you are a really big fan of one of the actors and if you do decide to watch it then prepare yourself for one and a half hours of pain.

I wasn't expecting much from "The Good Things". I mean, a twenty five minute movie about a toll booth worker? It hardly sounds like the most moving thing. But it is. You really connect with the main character of Zach, thanks mainly to an excellent performance from Wil Wheaton.

I would recommend this movie to everyone. A well written and well directed piece filled with great performances all round but especially from Mr Wheaton.

Look here!: 51st State is funny.

Oh yes, its true. And here, in brief summary form, are some other things that are true: The acting of Samuel L Jackson and Robert Carlyle is very good. The plot is ok but there are some holes in it. The directing can be quite annoying and often undermines the action taking place. The other actors range from quite good to pretty bad.

Overall this film is just a good laugh so if that's what you want then I would definitely recommend it. However if you're looking for a new British classic then stay away mofo!

This film was bad. Bad acting, bad directing, bad writing. But it wasn't bad in a funny way. It was bad in a boring way. I watched "Surface to Air" because I thought it might be a laugh. It wasn't. Don't make the mistake I did. There are plenty of more enjoyable ways to spend an hour and a half such as watching paint dry or reading the dictionary. Seriously.

Oh man! This is bad! The acting is awful, the directing appalling and the script even worse!

Everything that happens in this film is so incredibly implausible, ONE (there are several I could provide) example of this is when the two heroes come across a room guarded with laser death rays that can supposedly cut through stone and also flesh. So how do they get past you ask? Why Stupid Darryl Stupid Hannah simply deflects the beams using a mirror! What's that you say? But wouldn't the laser beams melt the mirror? Um....um....hey look behind you! *runs away*

2/10