Change Your Image
jungledweller98
Reviews
Salt on Our Skin (1992)
Cringeworthy
***SPOILERS*** ***SPOILERS*** The acting in this film was truly top-notch. Though D'Onofrio's accent was a bit questionable at times, he was believable enough, and George's character was never in question. The story, however, was so absolutely dreadful that I'm surprised that the two fine lead actors agreed to appear in it. I am absolutely shocked that the commentary on this movie has been primarily positive. I had the misfortune of stumbling across this movie on television recently and getting sucked into it, forcing me to spend the better part of two hours wanting to rip the stuffing out of my sofa and eat it, which probably would have been more pleasant than this pile of trash. ****WARNING: MINOR SPOILERS BELOW**** This is basically the story of a woman who is too shallow to accept a simple life with a fisherman despite her love for him, and is rewarded by him spending his life cheating on his wife to be with her. I don't find this "touching" or "romantic" in the slightest. I find it an appalling treatise encouraging women to go ahead and be gold-digging status mongers; your fisherman will come back to you in the end anyway. Oh yeah, and if you decide to follow your heart and devote yourself to the fisherman, expect him to turn his back on you for his socialite mistress. I would have loved it if George had her heart ripped out by Gavin finally telling her that she'd blown her chance and he was going to throw her back to the dogs like the shallow pretentious witch she was. Even George getting a good, vengeful punch in the mouth by Josie's hand at the end would have been somewhat satisfying. ****END SPOILER CONTENT**** If the film's intent was to disgust, appall, and make the watcher feel like throwing a shoe through the screen in hopes of maiming George, then it succeeded. Unfortunately, I think it was supposed to be a gooey, touching romance. Thank goodness real life usually isn't like this horrid commentary on man's values, or I'd be ashamed to be living it.
Shadow of the Vampire (2000)
Why, oh why did it have to end that way?
After counting the days until it was released here, I played hookey from work to go to the first showing. I am sorry to say I left sorely disappointed.
The acting is excellent for the most part. I thought Dafoe and Malkovich both nailed their characters sublimely, and the rest of the cast, though not given much to do, were just fine. It's creepy how much Eddie Izzard looks like his character Gustav von Wangenheim. The exception to the great acting was Cary Elwes, who was very nearly painful. Pick an accent and stick with it, dude, or just stand there and look pretty.
I did enjoy *most* of the film. As others have said, the opening credits were too long (as were the closing credits, which I stay for at every film), but whatever. For the first hour or so it was a nice, creepy little pseudo-homage to Nosferatu (one of my favorite films). And the point, that Murnau was obsessed with making the film and Schreck was weird, was quite clear. Fine. Cool. Enjoyable.
But then it had to end in a flaming ball of unbelievable schlock, and I mean unbelievable in its literal sense. Sure, any vampire movie has to have some suspension of disbelief, but this was just too much. Maybe it was the fact that they used the real names, that these were supposed to be real people, but I really couldn't suspend my disbelief that much.
Still, even with the over-the-top ending, everything would have been okay, I could have let it go and still enjoyed the film if it hadn't resorted to the oldest, tiredest vampire cliche in film history. Unnecessary, trite and totally inappropriately historically inaccurate (even in the context of this film), that scene just killed it.
I'm sad, because I really wanted to love this movie. But all things considered, I shouldn't have even bothered to see it.
Dracula 2000 (2000)
Worth Seeing
This is not a piece of cinematic brilliance, but it's eye catching and enjoyable. It's predictable until the last 15 minutes, when it becomes an intellectual odyssey. The challenge to the traditional Dracula myth is mind-blowing and really gives you something to think about on your way back from the theatre and possibly beyond. Not good for people looking for a canned Dracula story.