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Reviews
Pulp Fiction (1994)
dangerous, no, worse than dangerous: lethal
This is the film that got me into violence big time. I do crimes for a living and this film is the best film ever made. If you don't believe me then watch it or I will do crimes on you. It's not as good as real violence but it helped me get through a difficult patch in my life when I killed someone (accidentally it was later proved) and for a while I thought I was Pulp Fiction. However, when I watched it again I realized that I am not because I was made before it. This is the best film ever made but it's not as good as the Tarantino contribution to Four Rooms which is the best film ever made.
The Godfather (1972)
rubbish
Can someone please explain to me why this film is held in such high regard? I couldn't see anything particularly good about it to be honest and I'm not one for finding fault normally but I would have to say that this is a badly directed, dragging film with unconvincing story and acting. Honestly, you'd think someone else would have noticed before it got to the movie house, wouldn't you? If I could only use 10 words to describe this film they would be: Lame, Pedestrian, and Not as good as you think it is. So come on film buffs, let's admit the game is up, you've been found out.
Fuck My Dirty Shit Hole (1997)
beautiful
Delicate yet intense, singularly shallow yet doubly penetrating, narrow minded yet gapingly open, this is a modern take on the old "boy meets girl" tale. Excellent acting from all the cast, you can tell they really enjoyed fooling around with the concepts on this one - there's some exciting improvisation to look out for. I especially liked the buggery.
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
beautiful
this is the finest, funniest, smartest and slickest film ever made. The critics have got it in for him because he's 50 years ahead of his time. THe film WORKS. If you can;t see that, you're blind. If you cant laugh, you're dead. If you don;t get it, you're dumb. Trust me, I;ve seen over a hundred films and this is the best film ever made. I take my hat off to this guy, he;s the greatest.
Only joking, it's sh*t, isn;t it?
U-571 (2000)
history schmistory
I think the British weren;t involved at all - I mean look, in most films all the Nazis are the British ones and you know how to identify the heros because they've got American accents. So, how come the heros of this film have all got US Navy uniforms on? It's because they are Americans, stoopid! If we hadn't won the war, where would the world be now? So how DARE anyone criticise this film, because history is written by the winners, pal. And we won, and you brits lost. Same in world war 1 and same in world war 3 when it happens. That's why this movie is the greatest, because it shows us what happens RIGHT NOW when you mess with US, so quit messing and start quaking, Nazi haters.
The Usual Suspects (1995)
fuss?
I don't know why there's all this fuss made about it - I guessed what was going to happen in the first MINUTE of the movie. It was SO predictable, especially with the guys at the start when they did the thing. Honestly, don't filmakers make films for intelligent people anymore? I'm tired of second guessing films from the title. Battleship Potemkin was the same deal. Come on Hollywood! Surprise me!
Rancid Aluminium (2000)
Those who should know, KNOW!
All these armchair critics dont know nothing, this is a brilliant film of gangsterism and wicked performances from Rhys, Sadie, Steve, Tara, Jo, Tony, Keith, Dani, Bazzer, Josh and Olegaro et al - strong, no-holds-barred relentless in yer face direction from the man Edward Thomas(V) and a great production from the whole Friction Factory. I must stress I have no real relation to this independent production company or any of the characters involved, I'm just a lover of good British films and this is one of the best! Nice one boys, good one James, keep it up Jo, big up Ed, WICKED!
Intimate Portrait: Minnie Driver (2000)
wow
The it-girl's it-girl's it-girl allows us a brief glimpse, a portrait if you like, of what it must be like to be intimate with her. And it did not disappoint. A huge majority of the world thinks that she's some kind of talentless sloane with a pointy face but they won't after they see this film because it blows the myth away. There is a lot of humanity and understanding portrayed quite believably, and her work for numerous animal charities is a credit to her career. This is actually the best film she's ever done, and the acting by all the people is first-class. Well done all!
Pearl Harbor (2001)
oooohhhhhh
This is a beautiful love story. I liked the bit when the man said he loved the woman, and then he went away and the other man said he loved the woman. And she loved him back. There was a bit of a boring bit when the planes all came and the war stuff was very irrelevant to the story. I don't think it was a good idea introducing a war story into the film because it, like, totally took away from the love plot. Who won anyway?
Spunk: The Tonya Harding Story (1994)
not enough spunk for my liking
Another candidate for the enforcement of the trade descriptions act, sadly, since there was little in the way of story, tonya harding or spunk for that matter. One had hoped for a gutsy tale of one woman's quest for human essence, but there were very few occasions on which we saw just how full of spunk she could get. I think i may have been mislead somewhat.