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munroryan
Reviews
Quel pomeriggio maledetto (1977)
I dare you to watch it!
Years ago, I was given a VHS copy of 'The Satanic Mechanic' from a friend who knew of my love of bad movies. My God..I thought I was ready for this but I just wasn't equal to the task. The dialogue...the filler....aaaauuuggg! There is a scene of Lee Van Cleef parking his car that goes on for 5 minutes! My all time favorite scene has to be where Lee takes on a gang of transvestites in a steam bath, after kicking their asses he leaves with the line "See you in hell kid!" This is the only semi-satanic reference that I remember. I have no idea why this was named 'The Satanic Mechanic'. Not once does Lee Van Cleef do anything remotely mechanical or satanical. The cover of the VHS had a great photo of Lee taken from his '80s TV show 'The Master' (more confusion). I challenge anyone to sit through all off this movie! It breaks the rules of the space/time continuum in the way that time seems to reverse itself during the viewing. I myself have watched it over a dozen times and feel all the lesser for it.
Cool as Ice (1991)
Did she or didn't she?.....she did.
I have watched this tour-de-force countless times and still feel compelled to watch when it's shown on late night TV. Vanilla Ice (VI) is a complex and curious character with many layers to him, much like an onion smothered in secret sauce. One of the never ending debates with my friends when we watch David Kellog's cinematic oeuvre, is did Kat sleep with VI on their date or didn't she? Well my friends, the next time you watch, please note that Kat's bedroom is lit with bright colors and very 'viginaly' white...that is until we see the two lovers, VI and Kat, fall into some long grass after VI sprays Kat with his 'hose'! After this, her bedroom is lit with blues and is dark to which one can only surmise that the taking of Kat's virginity was not without some force resulting in a bit of, dare I say it, bruising! See for yourself and tell me I'm wrong. Also Michael Gross' turn as Kat's father is just inspired. Another strange thing about this movie is that I have found it in almost every section of my local blockbuster! Family, Music, Comedy, Drama, etc. Understandibly so as this movie does touch almost every genre in the catalog. See this!