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Jbbarger
Reviews
Kidô keisatsu patorebâ: The Movie 2 (1993)
Animation doesn't make a movie better...
I recently saw this film and was less than impressed. I am an anime fan, but disliked this movie. Before you tear me up for 'not getting it', or 'only liking anime for the sex and violence', let me explain that neither of those points are true. Patlabor 2 did have incredible, albeit boring visuals to compliment its deep, albeit boring story. The main character constantly waxes philosophical about war, peace, and society, usually while looking at the city or riding in a car on a periodically lit street. This all combines to create an unspectacular, overlong, story with too much talking and too little doing. This would've been better as a monologue by the Captain, and not as an attempted action movie. In that same vein, GIANT ROBOTS that only once get used! Even the one and only battle scene is slow. If I wanted philosophies on War and Peace, I'd read Tolstoy. Let the giant mechs do what they do best, beat the crap outta other robots. This movie tried to do too much and disappointed at all. To explain my subject line: I believe that those who compliment this movie would've walked out if it had been presented as a live- action film. 5/10 only for the nice visuals and what little learning anyone can glean from the philosophical police captain.
Collateral Damage (2002)
The best Ah-nuld movie EVER, bhang!
Collateral Damage is one of the best movies I've seen in a long
time. This film offers enlightening commentary into the minds of
terrorists and their victims. By providing the full story on both
parties this movie gives poignant, impartial insight into the present
climate of global politics. But as this is an Ah-nuld movie, there is
plenty of whiz-bang action to go around. The quiet moments of
reflection on his loss, and the extremes he goes to, are only
punctuated and not all cheapened by the explosive action
sequences that keep you on the edge of your seat. However, the
real story of this movie is not the action or the political
commentary, but the feelings of the hero. Arnold, as the Everyman
Brewer, truly makes you feel for his character. The viewer really
gets into his family, and feels his loss as strongly as does he. We
also feel his indignation when his family is referred to as
'Collateral damage', a highly moving titular line. Bhang!
Oh, and in case you couldn't tell I'm being sarcastic. The
preceding review was meant to be as diametrically opposed to the
truth as possible. I hated this film, to get my true feelings, just add
a negative prefix to any praiseful comment I made. 2/10
Ocean's Eleven (1960)
As slow and inept as the cops in the movie...
This movie was a dragging compilation of Sinatra and his cronies wandering about Vegas. It could have been better if the pace had quickened and they had limited themselves to fewer casinos. Hitting five casinos with eleven guys isn't just overextending your crime spree, it's overextending the movie. Like I said in the summary, the cops in this film are slow and useless. The suspense could have been much better if the fellows actually had a worthy opponent.
The Original Movie. (1922)
Interesting animation style
I happened to see this movie on TCM in their classic short showcase. an excellent program which gives great supplemental information. About this short they explained that the animation was done by a puppeteer using cut outs of the figures. This is quite unique, and the elaborate figures are so masterfully handled it rivals any animation done in the intervening 80 years.
Drowning Mona (2000)
Is murder funny?
I'm no prude, and I enjoy horror pictures as much as the next guy, but is murder really funny? Even when the victim is a vindictive shrew like Bette Midler's character, her death doesn't inspire humor. I have enjoyed other movies that share similar stories, but this one left a bad taste in my mouth. 4/10
Head Over Heels (2001)
Cute Girls, Cute Jokes, Not Much Else To Like.
I saw this movie with an open mind. I thought it might not be bad, after all how bad can a movie with five hot models be, right? Well, that's all there is to like about this movie. It follows a predictable pattern that you've already seen in any romantic comedy of the past decade. On the plus side, it has several laughs but these are interspersed with the painfully unfunny groans afforded by most of the humour. Some of the acting also left a little to be desired, but most of it was solid and appropriate for the film. Overall, I give it a 2 out of 10, because that's the number of times I laughed. Mainly, it loses points for its bland predictability, though it is a movie you'll like in spite of all of the problems.
On Hostile Ground (2000)
Blandly formulaic, but with terrifying sinkholes!
I have seen all of the recent crop of disaster films and just wish they would stop making them! Sinkholes?! Tornadoes and volcanoes can be scary, but sinkholes?! I can't get past the fact that moviemakers seem to have run out of ideas. In all fairness it was a cheap TV picture, but still, sinkholes?! Besides the weak natural disaster the movie follows every formula from every other movie of this type. The lead is afraid to evacuate due to some previous mistake, yet still has time for a love interest etc...