Change Your Image
ziggyvideo
Reviews
Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula (2000)
Terrible Piece Of FICTION
"True" story? I think not! Yeah, this alleged biopic (which at the
ends states clearly that ALL characters and situations are fictional)
touches on a few legends about Vlad, but it gets even those
wrong, so if you think you're watching any sort of history here,
you're NOT.
The film looks beautfiul thanks to Romanian locales, but
everything else about the slow, awful excuse for a film is a waste.
The ending is also a complete cop-out, and should remove any
and all doubts when it comes to the utter lack of credibility with
regard to this cheese.
Bottom Line: don't waste your time.
Not Another Teen Movie (2001)
Hilarious Spoof (If You Have A Sense Of Humor)
One has to wonder if many of the people who have written
negative reviews or comments about "Not Another Teen Movie"
actually even bothered to see it, or simply, as they would have it,
"suffered through" the trailer just so they could cite a scene or two
as they went forth in righteous indignation and trashed the film on
general principles.
"Not Another Teen Movie" is hysterically funny and on the mark with
95% of its gags - IF you like this kind of movie to begin with. If you
don't like spoofs or teenage movies or off-color comedies, then
you have no business even seeing this flick, and you should know
better, because it certainly doesn't pretend to be anything other
than what it is.
It was appalling to read a comment (which was given prominence,
no less!) from someone claiming this to be "The Worst Movie of
2001" (as so many others have) who starts off by calling parodies
the lowest form of comedy. Then why the bloody hell see this
movie in the first place? If one hates the genre, there's no point.
It's obvious that review and many like it were half-written before the
movie was even watched (IF it was watched), a sad testament to
the discrimination suffered by the spoof genre, just as with the
slasher.
For people who aren't closed-minded to the genre and who have
the possibility of liking such a movie, "Not Another Teen Movie" is
hilarious, and one of the best spoofs to come along in years.
True, it's not for everyone, and certainly not for easily offended, but
if this genre appeals to you, then this flick is a well-done treat.
Cats & Dogs (2001)
Mr. Tinkles = Feline Blofeld
I keep reading all of these comments saying that this movie has
nothing to offer anyone under the age of 10, and I can only come to
the conclusion that the authors of these comments either a) have
misplaced their sense of humor or b) have never owned a cat or a
dog. I normally dislike "family friendly" entertainment, but I
absolutely loved "Cats & Dogs". From the first chase onward, I
didn't stop laughing until well after the credits had finished rolling.
Mr. Tinkles is a wonderful villain (indeed, my only real complaint is
that he doesn't have enough screen time), and his minion the
Russian Blue is one of the best evil henchmen to hit the screen
since Odd Job from Goldfinger. The comedy is hysterical, the
effects very nicely done, and overall, the movie is just an all around
good time. Don't listen to all of those naysayers out there; if you're
looking for a good laugh, you can't go wrong with "Cats & Dogs".
Steel Dawn (1987)
(Steel Yawn!)
This is, quite simply, the most boring and pointless movie that I have ever seen. The acting is languid, the direction absent, and there isn't even anything pretending to be a coherent story until almost halfway through the picture. I had once thought that no movie could possibly be worse than "TC 2000"... well, there goes that theory. Unless you are a complete masochist or want to make a drinking game out of trying to pick out all of the cliche spaghetti western references, don't waste your time.
The Third Society (2002)
A Rare Find: A "B" Movie With Originality!
For anyone who truly loves and appreciates B movies for the art form that they are, "The Third Society" is a welcome treat. With a well-directed blend of action, smartass comedy, and a little "something different", this movie brings some real originality to an underappreciated genre, and is definitely worth the look. This flick has got attitude to spare, and features some of the most memorable B movie scenes I've come across in a long time, along with a surprisingly good soundtrack.
Bottom Line: This is one movie that definitely deserves to be seen by a larger audience, and I for one am already anxious to see what this production team comes up with next.
Ancient Evil: Scream of the Mummy (2000)
Put It Back In The Tomb!
I'm normally a fan of the cheap and cheesy drive-in genre, but after seeing this flick, I would seriously consider finding the print, setting it on fire, burying the ashes, digging them up a week later, and burning them again. This is now the most recent addition to my list of the Ten Worst Movies Of All Time.
Summer of Sam (1999)
Here's a two sentence review (all that's required)
Summer of Sam is complete cinematic crap, and an utter waste of time. It's not the sex, it's not the violence; it's the terrible characters, the meandering and plotless script (lots of subplots, but no real plot), and the horrid directing that make this one big stinking pile and one of the worst if not THE worst film of 1999.
Blood, Guts, Bullets and Octane (1998)
What a Waste!
I can't believe so many people are calling this a "great" movie, and I really have to suspect that someone paid the reviewer quoted on the box to say that this was "better than The Usual Suspects" (it isn't). Yes, it was made for less than eight thousand bucks, and it shows. Folks, it's a BAD movie! The characters are terrible, the acting is terrible, the story, far from being quick, is a bore. Some people will praise anything independent and low budget just for being that, but not me. Independent or studio, it still has to be good, and this isn't. Yes, I'll give Carnahan all the credit in the world for taking a cheap, awful flick and getting enough juice behind it to market the thing to where it is today, but that's all. This did not belong on the video store shelf, nor did it belong on a channel that viewers have to pay for. It's marketed as a regular film; it should carry a warning that notes what it really is: something just below "demo tape for rejected artist". Do not waste your time.