Reviews

I am writing this review more to exorcise the demons this film has left me with more than anything else. I watched it last night and have been distracted all day thinking about it.

I was unfamiliar with the work of Gaspar Noe before this but couldn't ignore the tremor this film had caused forever. Having browsed the web I can see that there is a definite polarized opinion on Irreversible. People either seem in shocked awe or have dismissed it as exploitation trash.

I'm in the first camp.

Spoilers

The film details a brutal rape and the equally brutal revenge meted out by the victims partner and ex-partner, however it is told in reverse, starting with the revenge and ending with everyone involved blissfully unaware of the horrors that are about to befall them. Many have dismissed this technique as nothing more than a pretentious gimmick but I feel they're missing the point. Having the film close with the happy characters not knowing the horrors that we have just witnessed left me sick and sad. I actually pitied their future which is a very bleak feeling indeed.

Now I have seen a lot of nasty films. Just check my other reviews. I've sat through I Spit On Your Grave and Last House On The Left yet the rape scene in Irreversible was on another level. Through most of the film Noe adopts a swirling camera style. The scenes in the gay club are dizzying, the camera swooping and diving through rooms letting you catch glimpses of all sorts of unwholesome acts. Yet from the moment the rape begins the camera remains static throughout. Forcing us to watch, daring us to look away. There are no cuts, this is realtime and we are there for the grim distance. Monica Bellucci's performance is heart breaking and painful and the moment when the rapist kicks her in the face I actually involuntarily shut my eyes. I have NEVER done that. Possibly the most painful part of the whole scene is when a figure appears at the end of the tunnel then turns and walks away again. Noe is forcing us to ask ourselves 'what would I have done if that were me?'. Would you have come to the rescue or would you turn back through fear for your own safety? It is a moment of salvation that is quickly snatched away.

Also of note is Cassel's performance. He is truly a man possessed. Until the events unfold he appears a mere thug but by the end I almost wanted to go back to the start and root for him.

If you think you can handle it I urge you to see Irreversible and make up your own mind. It is an unforgettable experience.

I promise you two things; You'll never look at a fire extinguisher again without wincing and you will definitely think twice about taking the subway.

Titles like this don't come along everyday.

Sadly, the title is about the most appealing part if this little 70's oddity.

<Spoilers>

'Based on the true story of Ed Gein' (someone should really copyright that), it tells the tale of a young man who is accused of doing terrible things by his domineering father, or did he?

The main problem with this film is the pacing. Despite its 80 minute run time there is an incredible amount of filler and very little action. The opening quadruple murder flashes by in a .. er .. flash yet a scene featuring characters walking through a field goes on for an age. The worst example however is a scene in which our protagonist goes to a bar to think. While he sits in meditation we are treated to TWO FULL SONGS by the bar band!

The whole love interest sub plot does little to enhance the plot and just gives the excuse for more filler.

Some credit must be given for the ludicrous ending. Part of the twist is patently guessable though the extra little family secret makes for an amusing surprise.

If you're really into your Ed Gein films check out Deranged instead.

It's refreshing to see so many positive comments about this film on IMDB. This oft derided Carpenter film is, in my opinion, only inches away from Halloween and The Thing in terms of quality horror.

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It tells the story of a group of scientists sent to a church which is holding a cylinder of green fluid embodying the son of Satan, slowly the group are taken over one by one, as the survivors struggle to survive, trapped in the church by zombie like vagrants (featuring Alice Cooper), as the evil offspring tries to bring his daddy into the living world. Oh yeah, there's also something about a warning from the future. Sounds ridiculous I know but with Carpenter's deft handling this is a taut and genuinely atmospheric thriller with the same claustrophobic intensity he created in The Thing.

I first saw this film years ago and it still has the same effect today. Especially those creepy dream sequences.

Forget what the critics say. Check this one out.

Credit must also be given for being the only film to feature a stabbing by bicycle

After having viewed the disturbing images of early Guinea Pig's Devils Experiment and Flowers of Flesh and Blood I approached this chapter with well deserved trepidation. What I didn't expect was that I'd be laughing my ass off five minutes into the film.

SOME MINOR SPOILERS

Telling the flimsy story of a transvestite doctor and his/her radical experiments on her patients DWD is basically an excuse for unleashing a handful of hilariously gory sequences, from a family whose heads explode when angry to the story of a loving couple, one of which is dead via the tale of a woman pursued by a killer 'abandoned internal organ'. I kid you not.

The FX are bargain basement at best but it's all about the comedy this time. The exploding heads are straight out of Monty Python while the rest rings of Troma or early Trey Parker film Cannibal the Musical.

Fans of hardcore horror are often disappointed by this entry in the series but if you share a slightly warped sense of humour you will get a good few laughs out of this one.

"Iron Pie Fight!!!"

I'm sure you all now the story behind this one by now. Shockingly poor film is repackaged with fake snuff ending tacked on. Crowd goes wild.

Yes it's a brilliant idea but sadly putting a rear spoiler on a Capri does not make it a Porsche.

SOME SPOILERS

'Snuff' ending aside, what we have here is a frankly dire Faster Pussycat rip off (originally called The Slaughter) involving an all female biker cult in a plot to murder a rich pregnant woman and her movie maker husband. The bulk of this film is close to unwatchable, only the occasional moments of unintentional humour make it bearable.

and so to the ending:

The final scene of the film proper sees the bikers burst in on the girl who is inexplicably in bed with her lovers father (the reason we may never know as the original ending has been replaced with the 'snuff' ending). She is stabbed in the stomach then the camera pans back and reveals a movie set with a different actress (like we wouldn't notice). She is then stabbed and dismembered by the movie crew who are then heard to scarper as the film runs out. The scene is admirably made as far as make up goes though the whole thing has the feel of a long joke with no punchline. After sitting through over an hour of drivel I felt cheated at the lack of proper conclusion to the story.

If you should get your hands on a copy of this film do yourself a favour and fast forward to the end, at least you can say you've seen the part with historical significance.

Often credited as a Joe D'Amato film, this was actually mainly filmed by Bruno Mattei (this movie also appeared under the moniker 'Emmanuelle and the Porno Nights').

The premise as such concerns the ever smiling Laura Gemser guiding us through the modern world of erotic entertainment while she frequently and inexplicably changes clothes. We are treated to scenes from strip shows, fertility rituals, and even a 'Taxi Mother' who hires her daughter out as a prostitute.

Even by 70's standards this is tame stuff indeed. The 'erotic shows' are little more than nudity and when a scene does begin to get racy we cut straight back to Laura Gemser (still smiling) who will guide us into the scene.

There is some fun to be had though. -(SPOILERS)- One scene involves a girl in the window of a Holland strip joint, after stripping for the crowd she offers one lucky fella inside for something a little more intimate, he keenly obliges leaving he stunned wife standing by the window to watch.

More amusement comes from Laura Gemser's (did I mention she smiles a lot?) linking scenes. As I touched on before, she moves around her home, talking and randomly changing outfits. In her closing speech the strap of her top comes away clearly exposing a breast, 'oops' she says cheerfully, replacing the wayward strap.

The oddest scene comes in the form of an erotic magic show, in which a woman is thoroughly inspected by the crowd to make sure she's female, and is then given male genitalia by the magician.

If you're looking for erotic cinema then look elsewhere. Though a few mates and a few beers might make this little romp a pleasant experience.

There are films I watch because they are quality movies (Fargo, Rear Window), there are films are watch because they're fun (Back to the Future, Three Amigos) and there are films I watch because they're so bad they're good (Zombie Holocaust, Slugs). Jack Frost 2 doesn't fall into any of these categories. It falls into the truly bloody awful category. #Possible Spoilers# The surviving characters from the first film go on a Christmas tropical holiday to get away from the memories (after seeing this, you'll want to get away from the memories too), but Jack follows them ACROSS THE OCEAN!!! (I don't know, so don't ask.) After too many sequences of irritating holiday goers and nearly seeing girls naked Jack starts to murder people (in a generally off-screen way). When we finally see Jack 'in the flesh' he (once again) is nothing more than a guy in a very poor suit. But this time he has the ability to spawn killer snowballs. These are generally static bits of fluff with 'evil' faces stuck on them, occasionally jiggled on wires and, in one scene created in extremely poor CGI, they are the worst horror monsters I have ever seen, and that says a lot!!! Perhaps if the filmmakers had made this film an 18, and thrown some adequate gore or nudity in (rather than nearly showing everything) we may have had a part enjoyable movie. But as it stands this is a sorry piece of celluloid with some of the worst production values I've ever seen (it looks like an early Neighbours episode.) Badfilm fans, don't do it. Trust me, it's not funny (even unintentionally), scary, gory, or at all entertaining.

Sewage Baby is a sick little puppy of a film. Repulsive and ridiculous in equal measure. -Possible Spoilers- A boy forces his girlfriend to have an abortion in a back alley house that makes the Texas Chainsaw house look positively inviting. The aborted foetus get flushed, and after a bath in toxic waste it returns as a shape shifting mutant, hell bent on revenge. Yep, I know, and I willingly watched this film. Boy did I get what I deserved. Gobsmacked is not the word. We are treated at first to lots of POV shots of the thing scuttling about (if you've ever seen the Polymorph episode of Red Dwarf, you'll know what territory I'm talking about). Before a couple of cheapo killings. It really hots up when the survivors trek in to the creatures cocoon (or what ever the hell it is), I assume it's supposed to look like a kind of giant womb, what it looks like is the result of two kids let loose in a net curtain shop, really you have to see how poor these effect are. Much 'show as little of the monster as we can to save on budget' shenanigans ensue, before we're treated to one of the most ludicrous ending I've ever seen (girls may wince, though more likely laugh). Truly folks, I'm as partial to a cheesy bit of horror as the next fella, but the words 'scraping' and 'barrel' have never been used more fittingly.