Change Your Image
cjfort
Reviews
There Will Be Blood (2007)
The Review: There Will Be Blood
There Will Be Blood is a very unusual film, be it the first thirty minutes with not a word spoken, or the twisted corruption of an oil man. This movie is less a popcorn movie and more an artistic piece of work that seems to express much more than you had first braced yourself for. My friends and fellow critics, this is a work of art.
The beautiful cinematography is just one of the many feats this film has. Others include the amazing acting from Daniel Day-Lewis and Paul Dano (Paul is absolutely frightening) to the intensity and language the script brings to the characters.
This isn't going to be an easy film to sit through. This film is a journey into one man's soul, and watch it decay from the inside. Greed is the main subject for this film, and it expresses it with perfection.
The name is a bit of a misnomer. There isn't much blood in this film. As a matter of fact, the film is a PG rating in Canada, so don't expect to see a graphically violent film.
As I said before, the cinematography is beautiful. You'll hold your breath at the sight of 50 men running toward inflamed oil spurting out of the pump and into the air, making mid-day look like deep, moon-less night. This scene is just one of many.
This was a very good contender for Best Pic. Only the masterpiece that is No Country for Old Men could have beaten this brutal, and yet poetic film about Greed, Hate, and self-destruction.
Rating: **** (of 4)
Entertainment: ***** (of 5)
Brick (2005)
The Review: Brick
When I popped this into my DVD player, the first thirty minutes or so of the movie, I was for the majority of the time asking myself 'What the hell is this?' Unfortunately, I was not informed about the movie much other than the plot, that it was good, and that you have to see it. Fortunately though, I understood it after that thirty minute mark, and I'm glad I did. This is a great movie.
First, you need to know some things before hand: This movie is very much a homage to Film Noire, like old '30s detective films. It even has the lingo, which sometimes makes it hard to understand (much like Sin City, only that was easy to understand). Second-to-know is the film features teens who act and are treated as adults, when it is noticeable that they are not.
Now, onto the actual review.
The film is starts off a bit corny, even knowing everything stated above, but after seeing the film once, it all kind of fits better. The film continues to the death of a girl the main character, Brendon, was the ex of, and whom he 'loved', as he put it. He then makes it his job to find out the who, why, and what of the incident that led to her death. The film's duologue can sometimes lose you as it becomes quicker and filled with more '30s metaphors, but what they are saying usually becomes clear later on.
Brick reaches it's true potential when Brendon learns about 'The Pin', a drug lord of sorts. And that is as far as I'm going with the story, but know there is a lot more.
The movie only runs a skimpy 1 hr. 50 min., but that is actually a perfect time for this movie. It is a great film, but you feel that 'too much of a good thing' feeling start to set in, and this movie would have been if it where a few minutes longer. The movie is inventive, violent, and disturbing but you can't help but like this film. It took a very plain, even teen angst-like story and made an indie gem.
Rating: ***1/2 (of 4)
Entertainment: ***** (of 5)
The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)
The Review: The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
This film was ignored. Don't get me wrong; I think the Academy picked some great picks for their nominations, but they screwed this picture. How did this not win Best Cinematography? How did this not get a Nom for anything else? How did Juno get a damn Nom over this? (Not that Juno is bad).
'The Assassination of Jesse James' was a very exciting and moving film with beautiful cinematography, great acting, great script, and so much more. When the film starts out, it sets the tone immediately. The coloring; the music; everything about this film is all very well crafted to carry the movie to viewing bliss.
The color of the movie is constantly a blue/gray, like an overcast; no sun showing through the clouds. To boost the look, a heavy yet light score is added with rumbling bass hitting in beat. The best example of this is the scene when they rob a train. Jesse feels the tracks for vibrations, and as the train comes into the view, and we see the light peaking in through the trees, all sound dies, and all we hear is the score.
This film is great, and though it might not deserve winning Best Picture, it certainly deserved a nomination. Casey Affleck thoroughly deserved his nomination. He was very unsettling, and yet we felt bad for him, as we did with Jesse.
The movie doesn't make you choose who the 'Good Guy' is to root for, because in a sense, no one is good, but no one is bad.
This movie is highly recommended from me.
Rating: ***1/2 (of 4)
Entertainment: ***** (of 5)
Cloverfield (2008)
The Review: Cloverfield
Cloverfield could probably best be summed up as a breath of fresh air.
Walking into Cloverfield, I had known about some of the hype, and had know about it for awhile (A relative was heavily into it), and I am happy to say it is as good, if not better than hoped.
I do believe the hype has helped how good it is. If you followed everything, the film is much more real to you than someone knowing there was an explosion in the commercial. But if you didn't follow the hype, you can be sure it will still be a good movie.
I would like to mention, though before I get into the hardcore part of my review, that A). I will not spoil the monster many have wandered about and B). Be weary of negative reviews, because after asking people, I've noticed, quite ironically, that the people who don't like it the most, are all in school, aka the people who are most hardcore about YouTube.
Now, this movie has been most popularly called a mix between The Blaire Witch Project and Godzilla. Though there are heavy elements between Cloverfield and these films, that comparison isn't quite right.
This movie is not a rip-off. It is more like an original movie made out of Unoriginal parts. The film does do the hand-held, first person point of view like Blaire Witch (which was the reason for many negative reviews, and for me warning you that if you have motion sickness, don't watch the film), but this movie doesn't screw up the premise. It uses it very well, and doesn't over do it, and puts our very funny comic relief behind the camera.
The film is very intense throughout, and doesn't disappoint on it's monster. The monster is used like Jaws is used, only with a little more seeing, and this ends my talk of the monster.
Another warning, is that you must know that this isn't played like a movie, or a documentary. It's played like a tape found after the incident nicknamed "Cloverfield".
This movie won't have a formulaic (for the most part) story, so don't expect Hollywood endings or development, but more like real people in real situations. That is the main reason overall why people didn't like it, because they expected a Hollywood picture or '98 Godzilla. DON'T. THIS IS NOT THAT KIND OF FILM.
Overall, the film was very exciting, realistic, and the characters aren't character's, but real people (to creep you out more, go to their Myspaces).
I highly enjoyed this film, and protect it from haters. See it with a fresh mind.
Rating: *** (of 4)
Entertainment: PERFECT 5 (of 5)
Sin City (2005)
The Review: Sin City
Sin City is based on the Graphic novel by Frank Miller and directed masterfully by Robert Rodriguez. The film twists different story lines together all in this horribly sin infested city where everything is full of the nastiest things imaginable.
The film is, as I said, masterfully directed, but everything else doesn't live up to those standards. The film suffers from violence that goes extremely violent when it doesn't need to to make it's point, and the same goes for the sexual themes. The "Sin" in "Sin City" is just a tad bit over the top (that being said, it's over the top for an over the top movie). Also the dialog is reminiscent of old crime movies (kinda corny), but it works well for the movie...most of the time. Sometimes it feels right, sometimes it's very awkward.
The acting and just about everything else is good (though, the stories sometimes get too dark). Overall, it's it's over the top style mixed with either OVER over the top material or unfitting dialog that seems to pull this movie down from the ranks of being really great, but is still a good film.
Rating: *** (of 4)
Entertainment: **** (of 5)
Das Boot (1981)
The Review: Das Boot (Translate: The Boat)
When you choose to watch a film that is nearly five hours long (the director's cut), you make more than a simple choice for entertainment, you make a serious commitment to it. This is one of those films that isn't hard to make a commitment to.
The German film (yes, spoken in German) "Das Boot" tells the story of a submarine captain and his crew in the claustrophobic and truly gritty submarine in the middle of intense battle that masterfully builds suspense. Nearly the whole film is shot in this claustrophobic environment (roughly three small rooms), and yet catches your attention better than most epic films in wide landscapes.
But the true feat here is that a five hour movie in a small submarine can hold your attention without letting go. The acting is superb, the direction perfect, and the intensity nearly unbearable. This isn't your average film. It doesn't go to the happy Hollywood formula, but rather a realistic (and, in a sense, surreal) formula that is so very welcomed in the clutter of repetition.
Though, not for everyones taste for sure.
Rating: ***1/2 (of 4)
Entertainment: **** (of 5)
Saw III (2006)
The Review: Saw III
Here we go again: Jigsaw is back, does more torture.....and bores us to death with it.
Dull story meets an even duller twist that was less a twist, but more a side note.
The first was good, but that's where it should of ended. Now, we have sequels and rip-offs (not to mention a horrible new genre of horror)that do nothing but suffocate theaters with crap in place for real film.
This heap of sh*t can go right back up the dog's ass it came from.
Rating: * (of 4)
Entertainment: negative ***** (of 5)
American Gangster (2007)
The Review: American Gangster
The always brilliant Ridley Scott has given us yet another gem, but not a diamond.
"American Gangster" starts out with a man being burned alive, and it goes well from there. That may sound like a bizarre way to start a review, but what I mean is that it starts very exiting.
The movie delves deep into two parallel stories beautifully woven together , if not slightly overlengthed. Denzel Washington is great as usual, but he is even better as a bad guy. He has that great blend of bad guy and family man, while Russel Crow gives a great (but, not as good as good as Denzel's) performance to counter him.
The film goes great throughout but never builds any emotion in you for the characters, so when emotion is called in for, the film kind of flattens a bit, but the film is still one of the best of the year.
Rating: ***1/2 (of 4)
Entertaining: ***** (of 5)
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
The Review: Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street
A dark and very bloody film by the entertaining Tim Burton, "Sweeney Todd" not only delivers the goods story, acting, and direction/cinematography - wise, but also musically, like all good musicals should.
"Sweeney Todd" isn't for everyone by a long shot, but it does have a lot for people to like. It has dark, or what surprisingly shows up in a moment that's dark, humor that always hits it's mark. It also has dazzling Gothic sets (even though Tim Burton has abused them heavily in his films, this time it just fit too well), and a dark story reminiscent of an Edgar Allen Poe novella, with great songs that any Musical lover could enjoy on one degree or another. Surprisingly, this fits well as a great musical, even next many classics.
That's something to get to, also. There is more singing in this movie than most any other musical you'll see. with a whopping 95% of the movie sung, if you don't like musicals, chances are you'll dislike this pic, to say the least. But if you can get past that, you will thoroughly enjoy this film.
One more thing to hit on is the gore. This is an extreme amount of gore, but it is colored in a bright red so it isn't realistic, but it serves its more metaphorical purpose.
Over all, this film is musically epic, dramatically tragic, and well executed and highly recommended to anyone for at least on try, even if it doesn't look like your kind of film.
Rating: ***1/2 (out of 4)
Entertainment: ***** (out of 5)
300 (2006)
The Review: 300
Yes, we know, it looks amazing. Yes, we want to see it.
The commercials were, duh, dazzling, and so I finally gave in to them and saw it.
OK, the movie was pretty good. It looked great, but there was a stupid and useless sex scene, predictable outcomes, and a couple clichés to add to the mix.
But, by the end of the movie you feel real satisfaction. But I lost all respect for the Queen when she sold herself like a whore for politics. I wanted her dead, but my wish didn't come true.
Overall, I guess I like it, but it could have been a hell of a lot better.
A Scanner Darkly (2006)
The Review: A Scanner Darkly
I was at first hesitant to watch this film because the animation got on my nerves, but when I heard about the story, my friend bought it and we watched it.
This isn't like The Godfather or any of that, but is actually very good. I'm not a fan of the director, but he did well in this film. The acting was solid (Winona Ryder did get a bit annoying though) and it was written in a believable way I thought impossible.
Though this only barely got the 'R' rating. One sex scene (and brief nudity) for a split second (literally) and then the 'F' word twice. Wow.
The animation is annoying at times, but you'll get used to it, and you will eventually understand the reason for using such a technique.
I was very pleased with this film, though some of that was because of my low expectation before seeing it.
I recommend this for most of you, but some may find it slow and incredibly confusing, which it is (not so much slow), but if you toughen it out, you'll probably appreciate it's value.
Like I said, it won't be number three on the top250, but it might breach the walls into the 250-150 spot. Let's hope so.
A-
Moral Orel (2005)
The Review: Moral Orel
"Moral Orel" has to have one of the best animation I've seen in a TV show. But, besides that fact, this show is quite funny.
IT has an extremely sarcastic view on Christianity that I can't help but laugh at. I am a Christian, but It is still fun to poke fun at myself.
This sin't a kid show mainly because they could be confused on the religious perspective (in one episode the preacher said if you pray to Jesus he'll give you money), but other than that...well I can't say that either.
It's not for kids at all. Certain episodes aren't bad, but a lot are. I honestly love the whole show. It makes Christianity look like a happy time, but at the same time makes it look sorta dumb.
I'm still a very strong Christian, but sometimes, out of all the seriousness, I need to laugh at myself.
Goodfellas (1990)
The Review: Goodfellas
An incredible movie by none other than Martin Scorsese is, as you would have to have guessed, this one. Though, not as good as the first two parts of the Godfather, still in that are. With amazing cast, story (based on true events), and direction makes a wonderful viewing experience.
Though I do have a little bit of a thing for the string violence and intense situations, that doesn't necessarily mean this isn't enjoyable for everyone else. By the contrary! No, this can be enjoyed by anyone who doesn't mind:
A). Violence (against wife, and others, resulting half the time in death). B). Drugs (in the last hour, but still...). C). language (and LOTS of it; the Trivia says the 'F' word is used 246 times).
Other than THAT, it's not too bad. One of the best movies I've ever seen.
Rating: **** (of 4)
Entertainment: ***** (of 5)
Invader ZIM (2001)
The Review: Invader Zim
From one of my favorite (and only) graphic novel writer Jhonen Vasquez (Jhonny the Homicidle Maniac, Squee!, I Feel Sick, etc.) comes a show full of the most bizarre, dark, and funny humor ever to come on TV.
With some of the best characters you've ever laughed at, and the best episode name/story/period: Zim Eats Waffels.
Though dark at times, still incredibly funny after years (not that many) of watching it. Though is a little dark, still not to bad for kids. Definitely one of the darkest kids shows ever, though.
With the most quotable lines EVER and one of the strongest (Though, Star Trek blows it way out of the water) fan bases ever, it is a sheer delight to have watched when I was younger, and still do so now.
Though it is known mostly to Goths, it isn't just for them. Almost anyone can get into it.
Myst III: Exile (2001)
The Review: Myst III: EXilE
One of my all time favorite games in the world has to be Myst III. Now, I really don't like movies and stuff that make up goofy names to fit with the World, but in this game it seems understandable.
This is one of the hardest, most beautiful, and intelligent game ever. You have to figure puzzles that have answers in different worlds. You find notes that help you learn how to mess with some of the technology, and you slowly grow incredibly close to this game.
There are five worlds in all in this game, not including the first world at the beginning.
Jnanin, the world that's connected to most the others, with buildings made of beautiful tusks
Edanna, which is just a giant tree in the middle of the ocean, and full of so much life
Voltaic, a canyon thing, completely deserted, and very beautifully made, and one of the most complicated of all the places
Ameteria, witch was one of the best looking places in the game, with great music, and the storm in the distance, but also one of the easiest of all the worlds
Narayan, witch is the last world in the game, and doesn't have a lot here, but will make you look over the book of notes you get at the beginning, or you should (wink), and has the great ending where you can lose, win, or lose.
The music in this game is the best music I have ever heard.
I highly recommend it to anyone. Just be wary that you won't finish it anytime soon.
Clerks (1994)
The Review: Clerks.
This has to be one of the best and funniest Independent films I have ever seen. It is also the crappiest looking film ever, but the movie holds up so well you wouldn't notice if it was the most expensive movie on the planet.
The movie is beautifully written, and the humor is VERY offensive, but done just perfectly and witty so that it fits in. It's a rude comedy, without feeling like two kids sat down and wrote a perverted script while high. It feels like the writer (the brilliant Kevin Smith) actually lived through all of it, which some he did.
One of the best movies I have ever seen, and funniest.
Poor Dante. (he wasn't even supposed to be at work that day!) Life sucks for him, but he has Randal to make everything feel.....the same. But at least he makes it seem like it doesn't matter.
Recommended to anyone who likes Kevin Smith, Comidies, or student/independent films. This is one of the best.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
The Review: The Hills have Eyes
Well.....it's a gory horror...okay review over.
Well? Okay, here's your review.....
IT's a gory, graphic movie, full of people getting things shoved into their heads, limbs, and (unfortanatley, and most disturbingly) a teenage girl's vagina. The direction was good and the music....but the writing and the things in it....too disturbing for me to put into words.
Not a fan of this movie at all. Who rapes a teenager? For entertainment even!
Avoid by all costs.
(Review Based on Unrated Version....A Definite NC-17)
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
The Review: Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back
Probably one of the only movies I have laughed all the way through, without feeling completely fine with karma, and I loved it!
Funny, offensive, and creative full of great jokes such as the Nun and the 'Rules' and Scooby-Doo. I'm not going to give anything away (like there's anything anyway), but...you now what? Just rent it. It's not Kevin's best work, but it's worth a few watchings.
Not for those who are offended easily. But gaw! What a film!
(For fans: imagine this: Jay falling n love with a girl - but for her, not her body! Expect a lot more than that!!)
Highly recommended to fans.
Donnie Darko (2001)
The Review: Donnie Darko: a cult phenomenon
This is an amazing movie filled with a unique script with even more unique ideas. The whole movie is about a boy who is going through therapy, having to take pills and such. One night, he's awoken by a six -foot tall bunny, who tells him the world will end unless Donnie decides to do what he says. Besides, the bunny saved his life.
The whole movie is a little confusing, unless you see it as everything having a meaning. It makes you wonder how God feels. The movie is amazing, thought provoking, and makes you wonder about what matters.
Not for all tastes, but for many. Before you judge it, pretend it's a good movie and watch again, you'll notice things you didn't before.
Rating: *** (of 4)
Entertainment: ***** (of 5)
Alien³ (1992)
The Review Pt. III: Alien 3
This is the movie that jumps so far from the original two movies that you wonder if it is the same movie.
The movie begins pretty well (and a little disturbing), but turns into an action movie without a lot of action. But, then ends perfectly. The middle isn't as bad as it sounds. Don't listen to the others. It's a good movie, just not really an alien movie. It sorta fits, but the first two movies were connected by memories of the planet and stuff, but this one is connected with Bishop, the alien, and the people in the beginning.
Good movie, but not classic good like the other two. Fourth i haven't seen...yet...THE JOURNEY CONTINUES!
--J.AchE-- o0
smile
Aliens (1986)
The Review Pt. II: Aliens
(Part one is Alien)
Aliens is the sequel to the classic by Ridley Scott. This movie is made by the great James Cameron. Though great, it doesn't mean he needs to. This case, he did great. This movie is a great classic, though a little far from the horror genre. It is more of an action movie with horrific moments. Every movie feels different though. Every movie in the series is a little different (the third took a giant leap), but for the most part they are good.
This one is good, and probably the closest to feeling like it's a sequel to the first film. All the rest are completely out there (though good...ish.)
J.AchE. o0
Alien (1979)
The Review: Alien
Alien is a famous movie. Almost everyone has heard of it. Most of those who have seen it do not like it. It is a slow movie amplified by the lack of music. It is a good movie full of suspense and, yes, gore. It is a gory movie (though not compared to todays movies).
A good movie, just for a different generation. Many from the generation we all know think Aliens is better; the sequel. That's because this one is the horror, that one's the action movie. It's still a good movie, but I like this one better.
The first and second movies are the only movies that are classics, though three is good...ish. More like fun. I haven't seen the fourth yet, but i've seen vs. Predator, and it sucks. Stick with this one.
Saw (2003)
Saw Uncut & This Short
This is a review for Saw uncut and the short film 'Saw'
--Saw: Uncut--
Saw uncut is the original NC-17 version of the R-rated film that appeared in the Sundance Film Festival and a few others. This movie is practically the same movie. A few things you may notice are different, but others you won't notice though they are.
The coloring to the movie is different for most of the movie, but like the scenes in bathroom mostly look the same. The music is different when the man goes through the razors and such, you can see his stomach torn open and his cuts better. Also, the Reverse Bear Trap scene is extended. Originally, you saw her looking through intestines or something and then she has the key. In this movie, she pulls out a liver or something, digs into it, and then finds the key.
Also, the ending has different sound effects. In the R-rated film, you heard blood splattering when the Dr. sawed his foot off. In this one you hear it sawing through bone, flesh, vein, and you hear the blood splattering. This film is more disturbing, making you feel more like the character. Better than the first, but not by much.
--9/10--
--Saw: The Original Short--
This is the short film that the writer and director both used to convince Lion Gate Films to make it. It is the Reverse Bear Trap scene, only with Leigh Whannell (writer) as the girl, only of course a guy. It is a good short, and it is very well directed and cut like a real film not a low budget hope-you'll-let-us-shoot-our-movie film. Good, and must see for fans of the movie. But other than that, it was okay but I don't care to watch over and over again.
Nacho Libre (2006)
VERY Napoleon Dynamite
In this film starring the brilliant Jack Black, a Mexican monk wants to be a luchador, but knows it's a sin, and plus he sucks.
Funny movie with independent-movie-like-direction/cinematography is well done and has a good plan, but it was mostly done in Napoleon Dynamite.
I didn't like Napoleon Dynamite, but still think it is a good movie. This movie was good, and I did like it, but not a whole lot. It was good, but all too familiar.
(My cousin said the funniest part of the movie was the commercial for Cartoon Network with cheese from Foster's say he was a horse and say he pooted.) --J.AchE--
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)
Goofy Goober?
I love the show, and most people who saw the movie and loved the show, didn't like the movie as much. That is because of these reasons: 1) It has the plankton story which has been done on the show a billion times and it had seemed they took a break.
2) Because it is different by it being a road movie. But, that's part of the magic.
I had been told numerous times that the movie wasn't any good and i shouldn't ever watch it, but my little sister rented it and so I decided to watch it. I thought it was hilarious and was so well done. It has that look like it's still on the big screen, only it's on your TV.
I did want I normal episode-like movie, like a story a lot like the episodes just longer, or like a bunch of episodes put together.
Not like taking an already-made episode, but new ones.
Yet, this is still a really good movie. Maybe if they made a sequel like that...hmmm....
--J.AchE--