Change Your Image
There-I-Said-it
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Dragged Across Concrete (2018)
Apt Movie Title
The name of this movie couldn't be more fitting because watching it is like having your patience dragged across concrete.
The other offerings by Zahler that I've seen (Brawl and Bone Tomahawk) have a similarly deliberate pace to them. The main difference though is that there is absolutely zero engagement to carry you through. Every single character is so dead pan that you have no investment in any of them. So if you don't care about anyone and/or how things play out for them, the least you can be is entertained, right? Well that's where the deliberate pacing is just tedious and it really feels like a chore watching. There isn't even as much of the, it's so ridiculous it's funny brutality found in the others. There is some, but the tone of this one had me so comatose that it barely registered when it did happen
I liked the other two movies that I mentioned enough to give another Zahler movie a go, but I would not recommend this one, it isn't awful but it will leave you feeling at the very least disappointed if not dragged for 2.5+ hours.
Dexter (2006)
Hannibal lite
This is to Hannibal what Prison Break is to Oz or CSI is to Forensic Files.
Disclaimer: I only got through 3 seasons before giving up
The first season was compelling enough and focused more on the crimes. Unfortunately the following seasons spent more time on soap opera drama which makes the show very generic. The crime aspects which used to dominate the runtime takes a backseat to dating, family, friendships, bachelor parties, etc.. This changes the effort put into Dexter's crimes and the police work which all requires more and more suspension of any sense. There is a constant stream of humor through out that has it's moments but it tends to be more on the cheesy side which also alters the tone of the show.
If you are into a more intense and gripping dramas, this is likely going to leave you wanting.
The Batman (2022)
Should have been called The Emoman
A way too long and pretentious addition to the series. In fact, I couldn't even finish watching it.
It's not all bad though, Reeves nails the look and feel of Gotham City. It's dark, dreary and dangerous. Most of the cast are fine too. Paul Dano and Jeffery Wright do their thing as The Riddler and Godon. Zoe is sexy as Catwoman. Colin Farrell was an odd choice but not bad. The main issue is Pattinson. As The Batman he's actually not bad, it's his version of Bruce Wayne that is unbearable. He's mopey and inaudible most of the time and his attempts at seeming pensive fall flat.
It's one of those movies that you sense is really pleased with itself and in doing so wastes too much of the viewers time with unnecessary pauses and shots so you can bask in it's idea of cleverness and art.
Certainly not the worst addition to the series and I would give the next one another shot if it's as atmospheric as this. Hopefully Bruce will have stopped sulking by then.
Wrong Turn (2021)
Wrong Name
The woods are about the only thing this has in common with any of the other films. So if you're excepting more of the same, don't bother.
Looking at this as it's own movie however, it doesn't get any better. The premise is mildly interesting but the execution is pretty sub-standard. The characters are so 1 dimensional and the pretentious urbanite thing is cranked up to the point that the demise of them is the only satisfying thing in the whole movie. The bad acting by most of them certainly doesn't help.
In the end, when you think that things couldn't have been conceived any worse, the credits roll and things get just downright silly.
This Wrong Turn misses on all the things that makes slasher films fun. Like most of Hollywood's current crop of films, checking boxes seems to be a higher priority than making good movies.
Chris Rock: Selective Outrage (2023)
Chris Rock: Out of funny
For me comedy has always been about making light of dark and taboo subjects, not making them darker.
I enjoyed Chris' early HBO sets, certainly more so than any of his movies. With seemingly a whole lot he could talk about, I gave this a watch. Unfortunately much like with Dave Chapelle, they've lost their light and just come across bitter and jaded. Their once cutting edge humour has been reduced to unfunny rants and repetition.
Will hitting Chris was wrong in so many ways. The way Chris handled it was praised. He's kept quite all this time showing dignity. I wouldn't have been able to keep my head like that in the moment, but once all this time has passed the heat would be gone. Make a few jokes here and there but that's it. Chris on the other hand used the last few minutes of his show to excrete bile on Will and Jada that was painfully unfunny and veered him off of the high road he had taken.
Usually Chris' crowds are dying of laughter, that wasn't the case here. They seemed as unimpressed and disinterested as I found myself. Certainly the end of an era. Thanks for the good times Chris but your time has passed. Which is what I would recommend people looking for a laugh do with this special.
The Serpent (2021)
Wish it was longer
The story of Charles Sobhraj is a sensational one and it is brought to the screen with real talent. The setting and atmosphere transports you to the 70's. The lead antagonists are all excellent, especially Jenna Coleman.
The only criticisms I have is that some of the acting is uneven but nothing that spoils it. The other complaint is that the series is done so well that I wished it was 2 episodes longer. It rushes through some bits of his story that are rather amazing.
A criticism other's seem to have is the jumping around of time lines. I agree it can be a bit much, but if you are patient it becomes clear and it is used as a device for juxtaposition that has greater impact deeper into the series.
If you are a fan of true crime, good music, good settings and great acting, then this is a must see.
Triviaverse (2022)
It's ok
The descriptions says, "This interactive story tells about the highest score wins in Science, Art, Geography, and more". Unfortunately the and more seems to be a lot of American pop culture (rappers and rap songs) sprinkled in with questions about Obama and Stacy Abrams.
I'm going to look at the credits because the one sidedness of these Netflix releases usually are pushed by a certain element that the company has signed deals with.
This was a surprise and much like the interactive Bear Grylls show I was eager to give it a try and there are some good challenging questions posed, but the novelty wears off pretty quickly as after about 20 tries I'm getting some repeats.
I would enjoy more things like this if they included a more balanced approach to politics, but that's just not how Netflix does things.
Blood Red Sky (2021)
Too many conveniences
The movie starts out ok with a decent premise, but when you confine the entire movie to a plane, you shouldn't have such a long run time. The movie drags on with nothing new happening. The flashbacks were more interesting as they were the only actual story telling taking place.
The biggest knock on it though has to be the amount of times that things just happen to move the story along, something conveniently laying on the ground or other things along those lines. Everyone is pretty brain dead too and none of the characters endear themselves to you so you really don't care in the end.
Well made but very lazy writing.
X (2022)
Fun little movie
Old horror films got it, they kept the themes simple and had their own charm, they were fun. As the genre evolved it became more about shock and gore which loses it's impact pretty quickly (if you are into these types of movies) which is why they are so forgettable.
Enter X, a modern horror film that keeps it simple. Actually, I must admit that I was surprised that it was a progressing better as a non-horror film. The story and characters (which includes a budget Matthew Mcconaughey) were interesting in the build up and there was some nice cinematography too. Unfortunately it was a bit of a let down when the horror element took over. The "horror" aspect, for the most part, made it become more predictable and the antagonists were quite dull.
All in all it was a fun film, the way they used to be.
The Little Things (2021)
More flaccid than Albert Sparma
The movie starts out okay but this serial killer mystery is lacking in any mystery. The beginning gave some Zodiac vibes but that's where the favorable comparison ends. The cases are not fleshed out and there is very little in the way of investigation. Most of the build up is rushed through until a suspect catches their eye. Then it's watch creepy guy, listen to creepy guy and be creeped out by creepy guy. The strange thing is that the movie is actually quite slow and yet it rushes through the moments that it should spend more time on. Strange direction and ultimately a very unsatisfying ending.
Denzel plays Joe Deacon, a savvy investigator that's moved on from the city beat but never really let it go. Denzel does as we have come to expect from him regardless of the strength or lack of material to work with.
Outside of him though I found much of the acting to be a little off, pretty much like everything about this movie. Easily forgettable.
Prey (2022)
Puts the fiction in science fiction
It's better than the most recent abominations as well as the AvP entries, but that's a very low bar and this movie only manages to edge above it.
The way the movie handles cultures, biology, Predator lore, CGI, language, dialogue, etc. Is incredibly lazy and amateurish. Amateurish would also best describe the b-movie acting.
The cherry on top though has to be Ms. Marvel. Besides the obvious weapons throwing, fights and all knowingness, the thing that had me laughing out loud was when she was able to run down a deer. Her dog is giving chase, it and the (terrible CGI) deer are running at break neck speeds. Our heroine is running too, at a fraction of that pace but somehow is right beside them! It's things like that with modern day tropes and politics that shows a lack or or unwillingness to create a more palatable historical setting that would make the movie more immersive (plains Indians lived on.....the plains, not the north west boreal forest).
The antagonist is no better. Rather than stalk it's "prey" it jumps right into a battle absorbing a tremendous amount of damage every time. The original movie introduced us to a technologically advanced creature that was bigger, stronger and faster than humans, BUT it was never a bullet sponge. "If it bleeds" is exactly why it avoids direct contact when in battle. The CGI face also looks cartoonish with it's animation. The 1987 film's practical effects still look better, how embarrassing.
This reminds me of MM Fury Road (amongst others) in that it takes an established franchise and uses it as a vehicle to promote it's own ideas that have no real connection to the franchise other than a few lines to tie it in. Like I said, lazy.
Why movie makers think creating a main character that is able to do everything while being highly unlikable is someone to invest in is beyond me. Of course if you don't like these types of characters and feel no sense of urgency for them and the situations they always are adept to and never have to learn from trail and error, then you clearly have an issue with strong (female) leads.
As a period piece, it's way off the mark.
As a Predator movie, it makes no sense.
As a horror film, well it's not.
As an action film, it's got the brain dead down and at times has some decent sequences. That and the cinematography are the only things I find working in it's favor.
Running with the Devil: The Wild World of John McAfee (2022)
Interesting(ish) Story, Terribly Told
McAffe was a nut which makes for an entertaining watch, but the format and story telling by the filmmakers is awful. No structure to it at all, just a mess thrown together with frat boy like journalists and "friends" reliving their memories.
The saying birds of a feather holds true here, most of the people you meet are superficial seekers and hold no redeemable qualities, John being chief among them.
It's clear that McAffe is delusional yet the documentary does nothing to either validate or invalidate his wild conspiracies.
It's a shame they didn't delve more into how McAffe fell from grace. That would have been more interesting than this which would have been more aptly titled "McAffe Gone Wild".
The Rental (2020)
Couldn't get past the opening irony
I made it 10 minutes into the movie before giving up. Yep, just 10 minutes because that's all it took for the movie to insinuate racism and misogyny that simply wasn't there. The first irony is that the person insinuating the assumption of wrong doing is in fact trying to sneak a dog into the house which states no pets. Soon after the girl who is the subject of imaginary discrimination questions the person who is renting the home if he is the owner because he clearly doesn't look like the type to wake up with a latte anema in the morning.
Messages messages messages, I just want to watch a movie.
Web of Make Believe: Death, Lies and the Internet (2022)
Started strong, turned out being just more one way traffic
The first episode did a good job of exposing how toxic online behavior can be and how it can jump from virtual reality into the real world.
Unfortunately the next few episodes (that I struggled to make it through) have a clear political slant that overshadows the subject matter.
The second episode is about Seth Rich's murder. He was the DNC staffer that was killed around the time of the election. They then proceed for the hour runtime labeling things misinformation and conspiracies as well as discrediting people. No time on the actual murder, no time looking at things from all angles, just one way traffic to clear a political party of having any part of it.
Every form of media seems to be more interested in editorials and opinions rather than just sharing the facts. This is not something that is mutually exclusive to any one side, try as they might to make it seem as such. My patience is really wearing thin with Netfix.
Ozark (2017)
Down she goes
Season 1 was an edge of your seat ride with high tension and drama. It was, at the time, a show I was thinking could hold up to heavyweights like Oz and The Wire. Unfortunately it began to lose it's shine and became more ridiculous with each following season. The introduction of more angles and characters clearly became too much for the feminist fan-fiction writers as they struggled to make things plausible culminating in an extremely disappointing and anti-climatic final season and finale.
I would strongly recommend watching the first season and letting your imagination run wild from there.
Enemy (2013)
Another Coke Zero from Villeneuve
I had commented on Blade Runner 2049 that that movie was basically all style and no substance, and this is more of the same. The movie is well crafted with it's filters giving a very monotone. The architecture in and around Toronto is almost Eastern block which makes sense considering the countries current government. The pacing is tediously slow but the premise is an interesting one. But just like the aforementioned Blade Runner, this never fleshes out any of it's characters or it's intriguing idea. It even misses the mark when trying some Kubrick like symbolism with spiders. The acting is sterile but that I'm sure is the effect they were after.
In the end it's another zero calorie offering, not bad but not really anything more than 1.5 hours out of your day.
The Alienist (2018)
Another one bites the dust
It's unfortunate that another crime series that approaches things from the behavioral aspects will not be picked up for a third season, the other being Netflix's Mindhunter (which is far superior). Both are highly atmospheric and have an engaging cast. However the later did not shoot itself in the foot which The Alienist inexplicably did.
Season one is immersive and compelling. Season two however decides it's virtue signaling agenda time and makes the protagonist, Dr. Kreizler (The Alienist!) play sidekick to a secretary turned heroine Sara Howard (Dakota Fanning). I usually like Dakota but she is probably the least interesting character in the entire show. What a shame.
Season 1 is recommended but you can leave it there, the first story arc will have a conclusion by the end.
Midnight Mass (2021)
Midnight Pass
Who knew that a sleepy fishing village on a remote island would be the ethnic and inter-racial relationship capital of the world. Aside from that, Crockett Island is your average small town that are devout Catholics. And like most Christians, they are either simpletons or religious zealots. Thankfully there is a single Muslim sheriff on hand to be the voice of reason and nobility when things go awry. But fear not, he is not alone in his heroism to save the island from vampirism that was brought to them by a priest. He has the smartest people on the island on his side, which of course are all atheists and a lesbian doctor. Some of the simpleton religious types do have a change of heart but not because of their intellectual prowess. Sound interesting? Then Midnight Mass is for you
Midnight Mass starts out promising in spite of it's subtle virtue signaling and religious statement. The acting is pretty solid for the most part with the stand outs being Hamish Linklater (Father Paul) and Samantha Sloyan (Bev). The story is a slow build, which I enjoyed and it's usually an effective tool in horror. Unfortunately when it transitions into more of the horror element it loses it's form while never being remotely scary. It's more character driven which means it's dialogue heavy. That can be good, real good, but too many times here it becomes tedious.
It's not bad by any means, in fact there are some really strong moments, especially with Father Paul. In the end they are ultimately wasted in a rather generic story with a familiar formula and foe.
Yellowstone (2018)
Lost it's way
The first season was excellent. The introduction of the Yellowstone way of life was engrossing and the troubles they faced were relatable. Interestingly, it has a very similar premise to Sons of Anarchy which Taylor Sheridan was involved in as well. Fortunately this didn't have the cheese that SOA had, at least not in the first season.
With each preceding season however the show has become more unbelievable and nonsensical, much like SOA. The gritty drama it started out as has devolved into melodramatic manure that reads like fan fiction. It also repeats the same tired and time filling recipe each episode which consists of bunk house shenanigans, a rodeo music montage and Beth being a b**** (that I don't mind).
It's become increasingly difficult to get through an episode just to see where the story goes. I'd rather watch a spin off with Kevin Costner and Cole Hauser as they continue to be the only interesting elements of the show.
Public Enemies (2009)
Couldn't finish it
I don't know what Michael Mann was thinking, but he took an interesting subject matter, great actors, great sets, etc. And made it tedious to watch. The choice of shaky cam at the most inappropriate times was so distracting for me that I didn't even bother finishing the film. Which is unfortunate because through proper eyes this might have been a decent watch.
StartUp (2016)
Watchable cheese
Startup tackles some interesting subjects and while the show starts out strong, it at some point becomes more of a cheesy OC young people show in a grown ups world. Speaking of cheese, that would be Swiss because there are plot holes and overall real stretches in logic and practicality.
Adam Brody does a good job shedding his teen drama and puts in a solid performance but it's Edi Gathegi who really is the star of the show. He always plays his character in a real and sympathetic way.
It's certainly a fun watch but be warned, the show has not been picked up for a season 4 and season 3 ends on a cliff hanger so expect to be left without any resolutions.
The Mosquito Coast (2021)
Awful
Let's get to the good first, Melissa George. That's it.
I wish they would have used another title rather than sully the great character study film played to perfection by Harrison Ford at the top of his game. It's as if writers can't scratch past the surface and see what made Allie Allie. This is a typical and unoriginal modern take with more action, less brains, zero charm and the usual garden variety petty morality as an excuse for it all.
Cold Pursuit (2019)
Painfully unfunny
Netflix was pushing this on me and I figured I couldn't go wrong with a Liam Neeson effort. Right? Wrong. It starts out as his usual fare of late, but at some point it starts to try and be funny, and that's when it all goes wrong. The lines are not funny, the actors are not funny, it's not dark humor, it has no humor at all really. It would have been better played straight.
Margin Call (2011)
Missed Opportunity
The cast do a fine job and the movie is well made but the script is extremely weak. It never develops any of it's character enough yet we are supposed to feel something for them. The best it could come up with is Kevin Spacey having a dying dog to make him sympathetic. It shies away from engaging in any real financial specifics and resorts to vague implications as if we the viewer would never understand them in depth.
It's a shame that this film did not invest more in it's characters and have more faith in the viewer. Kind of ironic for a drama about investment.
If you are looking for a better ROI I would suggest The Big Short or Oliver Stone's classic Wall Street.
Seaspiracy (2021)
Mixed feelings
As a rather stoic guy documentaries like this really do get to me and this one was no different, but there are many elements holding it back as well.
The start tempered my expectations as I wasn't sure if this was a documentary about sea life and the oceans or the filmmaker. He constantly includes himself and his predicament which I found too excessive and mostly unnecessary. He also intimates that places that reject his unprofessionalism are a sign of a cover up (who wouldn't just jump for an interview with some random walking in off the street expecting answers). One other knock is seemingly a trend with Netflix documentaries and that is to wrongly associate something with "conservatives" or "right wing". That was done early on (and only once, thankfully) when criticizing Japan over dolphins and whales. We are told it's a cover up by the fishermen, police and government. Only problem with that is that their PM Yoshihide Suga is a member of the Liberal Democratic Party. Shady governments (I'm not saying Japan's is), corruption, etc. Isn't exclusive to a single ideology.
With that said, there is good information here and heartbreaking footage. I just wish we could go back to the days when things like this were shared with us and we are left to decide how we feel about it rather than be told how we should.