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Reviews
Call Girl of Cthulhu (2014)
Do not watch it unless you are a fan of Cthulhu
Every now and then you come across a film which makes you appreciate others. This is one of them. I can forgive terrible special effects, I cannot forgive bad acting and atrocious direction. The plot of this film was best described as below average. I guess the high ratings that it had when I saw it were from those who made the film, or die hard Cthulhu fans. Watching this was a waste of time and I hope others do not waste time watching it.
I am also surprised to see that it has won awards. I guess it means that it has a niche appeal, but that niche must be very specific. The film had potential, it was such a shame that it did not come close to meeting any of it.
Shotgun Wedding (2022)
Okay until the end
That was an interesting film. We watched it as a family, my two teenagers liking parts of it and while we enjoyed it, I enjoyed it the least.
As a film, it was fun and flows well for a romcom, though the flow starts to fray a bit towards the end. If you are after surprises, it has a few, but overall, a lot of the film, notably at the end, is too predictable to be truly enjoyable. But I sound harsh as I am glad we watched it as a family and while this is not a film I would have picked out, I am glad that my wife did.
I doubt that I will ever watch this again, but I am glad that I have seen it, and while there are better films, this is worth watching.
The Honeymoon (2022)
Read the spoilers instead of watching this terrible film.
The best bits are the scenery, not just The Lake District at the start, but also Venice. It was good to see Maria Bakalova again after watching Borat Subsequent Moviefilm. Also the other great part is that it ended. Not just for the track played as the end credits rolled, but also for the second deleted scene. The film is watchable until the best man's speech, one that is even worse than the speech from Four Weddings and a Funeral. Once you get to this part, read these spoilers and skip to end end, or just watch a different film.
After the speech, Bav accompanies Adam, his best friend, and his new bride, Sarah, on their honeymoon as Adam is worried that Bav will kill himself (later turns out that his comment about not being there was because he was to travel to India). Bav christens the honeymoon suite with diarrhoea as he blocks his own toilet due to food poisoning. He accompanies the couple on a boat trip with a "See You Next Tuesday" t-shirt but is left to his own devices for a day. During this time, he befriends the son of a Mafia boss (Giorgio) who has fallen for Sarah. The three are invited to a party with this very handsome Giorgio, who flirts with Sarah. Adam finds them cutting drugs when looking for the toilet, then as he tries to get them to leave, Baz destroys some priceless Venetian masks while trying to impress a lady.
In order to pay for this, Adam and Bav are sent to deliver drugs to Slovenia and return with the money. They get pulled over at the border, but despite Bav leaking narcotics, they leave. Rather they flee after being allowed through, burn their car in panic and have to find a safe house to stay overnight.
During this time, Sarah has been charmed by Giorgio who takes her to parts of Venice that has been closed off to her when she had toured the city with Adam. Giorgio promises to aid her career and shows how he can do so before allowing her to pick a fantastic dress from a selection and then charming her with a rooftop dinner overlooking the city.
The boys meanwhile find the safe house. Adam waxes strips of himself as he takes of the numerous drug packets that are sellotaped to him while Bav soaks them off in the bath, inadvertently breaking a lot of the packages which mix with his bath water. The following day, the two fight over this when being taken to the drug drop (by an intimidating man called Ivan) and lose most the drugs they have remaining. The drop does not go well but they are saved and almost killed when the police, tipped off by Giorgio, raid the drop. The two escape with the money and make it back to Venice. When Bav leaves Ivan's car without the drug money, they decide to rescue Sarah. They are caught but Sarah rescues them and they flee through Giorgio's villa, more art being broken in the process. Bav sacrifices himself, but they try to same him. Giorgio let's them go due to his love for Sarah and it sends with Bav meeting an Italian beauty just before end and Ivan discovering the money in the first of two end credit scenes.