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7/10
sure, okay, fine
21 August 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I love this movie as a kid. Way way way before I knew what a smecks blow up doll was (it never occurred to me what Bianca was until I was like 20). It was definitely more emotionally impactful to me as a child. Goslings performance is stunted by stale writing. He does his best to move through it but his acting feels "stuck".

Its also less humorous to me as an adult, maybe because Lars might be coded as being autistic and so am I. Im not sure.

Overall, its an enjoyable watch if conviction isnt as important as plot for you. I think the doll was supposed to look like Angelina Jolie. Someone said Fran Drescher?!! Lol.
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5/10
Eh
5 June 2023
This movie is silly.

This movie had its moments. I thought it would be mythology focused but makes the mistake of trying to move the story through humans.

It has all your tropes and no scene really outdoes the first one.

The hand to hand combat scenes between Michael the Archangel and demons are eyerollingly boring. The main character, who you just know survives this, is likeable but everything that happens to her is so boring and predictable.

They don't do a good job of explaining the mythos or the requirements.

Idk its a semi-interesting premise that just lacks imagination in its execution. I actually clicked on the movie because I thought the imagery of Lucifer and Michael was really inventive.

It was disappointing honestly, but its not worse than other movies these days that take themselves way too seriously.
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The Boys (2019– )
9/10
Great!
12 October 2022
Great but it's not a "dystopian reimagining of a world with superheroes" it's quite literally an allegory for America and the world as it exists right now. I tried to catch all the major obvious ones. There's a super cool Celeb Supes find Scientology parody in here that's brilliant.

Ironically the people who would normally be crying about how everything is super political and "woke" don't understand that lol.

Great material. Fine acting. Predictable, but the journey is the destination and it's a hell of a trip. I don't think there's anything like it on air right now.

If you're looking for straightforward Black comedy with a hint of satire or parody with actual storylines that are interesting, you'll find all that and more here.
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Succession (2018–2023)
10/10
Daddy Wasn't There
4 September 2022
I am glad I gave this show another try. Stick with it and allow it to heat up.

It's a masterclass in writing and developing characters.

It's a realistic look into the behind the scenes of tycoons and giants-with a few heavy hitting black comedic moments sprinkled throughout.

10/10 because in comparison to the standards of today, this show is perfect. You're going feel like you're looking at a real family up against real stakes. Like me you might not find yourself rooting for anyone, but still enjoying the antics of characters that are not great at their core. That's the brilliance of writing multidimensional characters.

I found myself having to take breaks because the show has a lot of complex business jargon and it doesn't spoon feed definitions through exposition which I am so grateful for. I'm not sure when's the last time I've said this, but I love this show! Brilliant!
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House M.D. (2004–2012)
5/10
what's the goal?
21 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I'm only on season two.... (and sheesh I almost didn't remember that tv series used to have such long seasons).

I had to pause my watching because while this show may develop into something more bearable, I think it suffers from the "character's brilliance is defined by how unethical they are" trope. While, I'd like to hope this show isn't an accurate representation of the hospital infrastructure, I know it most likely is. I also know people like House exist and that they are surrounded by enablers who never do anything to stop them.

But, I just watched an episode where House sexually harasses a 15 year old girl (who is being sexually abused by her father), and now I have to ask myself what the point of this show is?

It cannot simply be a look into the hospital atmosphere, otherwise it wouldn't be so heavy-handed thematically. Seriously, sometimes the ends of episodes feel soap-operaish. My thing is, you either want to send your audience a clear message or you don't. But, you can't live in limbo and I think trying to conflate "having something to say" and "just showing how things are" is lazy. You cannot tell me that House is just a lonely man who is afraid of intimacy but deeep, deeeep down is deserving of love one minute and then the next have him sexual harassing a child.

This show does a lot of conflating and not in a "things are complex and have many layers kind of way", but in a "we want to go too far, but we have to sometimes reel it in for our broad audience" kind of way. I keep trying to keep in mind that this show is the sign of it's times, but so far it still doesn't have an identity. Well made tv shows might occasionally blur the lines of satire and recklessness but this show lives there so no one can see that it's really confused and scared. I think it hinges on viewers giving House the benefit of the doubt, but there are different times and we now know that centrism does not exist. So if the the show wants to tell me House's inappropriate behavior is wrong, but that it can be justified by the results. Fine. But, straddling the fence is boring.
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Georgia Rule (2007)
10/10
Necessarily Uncomfortable
21 August 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Georgia Rule is an uncomfortable drama that revolves around the unhealthy relationship dynamics of a grandmother, daughter, and granddaughter. TW: rape, pedophilia

I was not expecting to find such a brilliantly written drama. It contains explicit mentions of sexual assault/pedophilia.

This move leaves you feeling uneasy because it is a realistic portrayal of what can unfold when abuse surfaces in a already broken family dynamic. It has very few moments where it feels movie-esque, actually.

I haven't read through reviews, but I would not be surprised if the low ratings are because there is no "happy ending". Or, because that it seems none of the adults in this film quite handle the situation "right" or appropriately. In my opinion, however, that is the magic of the movie's ability to portray the complex reality of this type of situation.

Jane Fonda does a subtle but impeccable job at portraying the Georgia (grandmother) who, having not raised her daughter well, spends her time trying to rectify those bad parental choices with her granddaughter.

Felicity Huffman does a great job being the emotionally unavailable mother who is caught on the border line of trying to grapple with not having her own needs met as child and preventing her mother's plights from becoming a generational curse. Upon learning her child has been raped by her husband, she goes through stages of grief and ultimately steps into being the kind o mother she wished she had.

Lindsay Lohan does an exceptional job as portraying the imperfect victim. She has small subtle mannerisms that bring this character to life. Specifically, she brings the kind of innocence to the character that might be hard to pick out if you don't know the complicated effects abuse can have on an adolescent's mind. Her character is trying to separate herself from the heinous act she was victim of by assuming a villainous role. I was thoroughly impress with how well Lindsay and the writers portrayed this without being over the top. Because these things are seldom explicit.

If you are looking the kind of drama where everything unfolds expectedly and you trust there will be a satisfactory resolve at the end and you are unwilling to sit with some uncomfortable emotions and try to identify with characters who make decisions that challenge your reality or ideal this movie may not be for you.

I don't think its necessary to empathize with all of this film's characters. I don't think you need to approve of the protagonists decisions. All you need to ask yourself is: does this happen? Could it happen like this?
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Prey (I) (2022)
2/10
cereal box adventure
19 August 2022
This movie is the adequate quality of a movie released in this new era of remakes, small budgets, and heavy reliance on cgi.

It is so cliche that you could predict when each character will blink.

There's no story here. There's nothing to be invested in. It's not the predator's origin story at all. We got that in Alien v Predator anyway.

There's no thrill, no suspense, and no development for either the story or it's characters.

This is a shallow YouTube short. A cereal box adventure where you take a crayon and connect the dots of the plot 1-3 and you can get it done in under 15 secs, which honestly would've been the appropriate length for this poor excuse for a film.

The 2 stars go to the representation of the Indigenous Americans (though it's hollow) it's still beautiful to see some Native representation. Dare I say I had hopes for this film? The trailer literally has every big action moment that this lousy thing could muster.
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From (2022– )
6/10
A Diamond in the Rough
6 August 2022
This show needs a new director.

The series is good enough premise-wise, but the acting and direction make it unwatchable.

I gave it 4 episodes, but it's almost as if the scenes are being acted in slow motion.

It lacks a clear tone and struggles to build tension in should-be suspenseful moments.

The actors struggle to emote, making it hard to suspend disbelief enough for important scenes to be thrilling.

This show has a ton of potential.
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Spell (2020)
2/10
B-o-r-i-n-g
23 July 2022
The person who wrote this tale featuring Black American southern hoodoo is yt. So, you can lower whatever expectations you have (if you haven't already seen this film).

The dialogue is written caricaturist. Some of the shots and angles in the beginning are stunning. They must have spent 80% of their budget on the plane scenes because the rest of the movie looks like one long shot through the frame if you press fast forward. I was genuinely shocked at how gorgeous the aerial shots were, but then thought that they spent all that money and couldn't build any suspense whatsoever.

The story here is empty. They have found a way to do something egregious: waste a Loretta Devine performance. She's the reason I even bothered to turn this movie on.

Loretta is southern and speaks fluent AAVE and yet her lines (supposed to be in southern AAVE but see first point) are cartoonish. Omari Hardwick does not demonstrate an ability to convey any emotion besides bewilderment? None of the other actors carry their weight and the films drags on for way too long (could've been a 25 minutes short, honestly).

Anyway, this is a good example of why it's important to have Black voices telling Black stories. Overall, this movie was boring. It had the glimpse of something that might be interesting in the first few minutes, but that quickly evaporated into the ether. Wouldn't recommend wasting your time.
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5/10
Didn't age well
16 July 2022
Recently watched The Best Man for the first time a few weeks ago, and I enjoyed it.

This sequel, however, was a mess. The characters felt hollow this time around, and it didn't do the of-the-time tropes well enough such that they still feel relatable (or funny).

It was hard to get through the acting and the writing. The dialogue felt forced and it's filled with exposition. The plot line is flat, so the movie's conveyance of its intended theme suffers.

I've never ever been disappointed in a Regina Hall performance, but I feel like she's wasted in this film. Overall, it's just too hard to connect to the characters to overlook some of the flaws the first film had that have been exacerbated in this one.
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2/10
Where is R.L. Stine when you need him?
7 June 2022
Lacks..... coherency.

Remember as a kid at the school fair, when you wondered why everything was so expensive? Well this movie will make you go "ahhhhh" if big budget Netflix films can't get horror right, no wonder Goosebumps was $16 a pop.

The writing isn't even elementary. It's pre-natal.

The story lines are convoluted.

The "acting" is less than lackluster.

And it's the new standard of entertainment. So you'd better get used to it.
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Stranger Things (2016–2025)
6/10
Cartoonishly bad (from 2 to 6)
27 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
The writers must know they can create fanfare with their tweendom by creating a season that is so chaotic that it is well beyond reason (season 3 was already pushing it). They are so far beyond "out of material" but the ish show has only just started.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Update: After letting it settle, I don't think the first half of S4 was bad.

Bringing in another D&D villain, especially one who speaks, was a rational remedy to the issues of having such a dull "blob" of a villain like the one last season.

The reason why I change my rating from 2 to 6and not an 8 is because the one thing that has kept us grounded is the acting and investment in the Stranger Danger Gang, and it is lacking so far.

There are 3 years between us and them, so when we needed to have that connection grounded and reaffirmed by familiarity and understanding, its roadblocked by poorly written dialogue and too many Russia cutaways.

You can't help but get the feeling that, as the audience, we missed out on something huge thing that changed everyone.

Character Review:

Eleven: Her dialogue is awful!! Milly Bobby Brown tries her darndest, but it is Disney show awful. They write her as the same naïve and isolated child she once was, but at the end of S3 that is not who she is. She is traumatized, hurt, but ready to move on and thrive. She is being bullied (and its heavy handed) but neither her inner dialogue (letters to Hopper) or actions do a good job at creating the sense of loneliness and ostracism they are clearly trying to portray

Mike: I am not sure if it is Finn's busy schedule or what, but he is kind of scarce in this first half. He feels different or like he's trying to be the same and I guess that makes sense with Lucas straying away. The first half is not Mike focused, which it totally, fine. But, it does feel slightly jarring with El also feeling sidelined

Dustin: as adorable as ever, he spends most of the first half with his girlfriend. His alliance with Erica is refreshing since (outside of his girlfriend) they still seem to be the only ones in this show who can put things together

Lucas: the writers are doing this sweet baby an injustice by giving him the flat cliched arc of wanting to fit in and using basketball (eyeroll) to do it. He is distant except that he is still clearly wanting to be close to Max. I just wish the writers would take the time to give him just a little bit more complexity (I feel like they dulled him and El out)

Joyce: Maybe the closer we get to the 90's (in the show), the more Winona's acting will mellow out and the closer she will get to reliving her peak. With neither Will nor Jonathan being involved in anything major, Joyce (and Murray) spends most of her time trying to figure out if Hopper is trying to get in touch with her. The whole storyline is incredibly tedious and feels draining to get through

Max: Max is the most important character in the first half. Sadie Sink's performance (even through the dialogue) is amazing. I was very impressed with her ability to convey inner emotional turmoil stemming and conflicting desires

Nancy: I have never appreciated Nathalie Dyer's performance as Nancy. However, I do appreciate that her character takes initiative to get the ball rolling for the mystery they are trying to uncover.

Robin: While Maya Hawke isn't a bad actress, I do think the nepotism of it all is the only reason we're seeing her again so much this season. She doesn't add anything to the show outside of being someone for Steve waste time with until he's needed at the end.
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Abbott Elementary (2021– )
10/10
Perfect
25 February 2022
Charismatic characters, heartwarming teachers, and laugh out loud comedy!

Quinta has done such a good job bringing some very interesting and real characters to life. This show is great. It has a nice slow-burn romance and lot of quirky personalities, all while showcasing the very real trials of the underfunded public school system. 10 stars!
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Archive 81 (2022)
5/10
Hindering Performances
17 January 2022
Couldn't even get through episode one because of Dina Shahibi. Her acting in this is awful. I call this kind of acting "actor plays a character playing a character". She's unbearable to watch. All of the "emoting" she does is so insincere. It's not entirely her fault, though, because they write her dialogue such that it's extremely unnatural. However, I noticed while fast forwarding that this is the case for all the women characters, but not the men characters. Anyway, the leading man is dull and uninteresting. Matt McGory is the only highlight. I'm not sure if the story is interesting or not (so I'm giving it 5 stars to be fair), but the first episode does move slower than a turtle in 0.25x.
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Why Women Kill (2019–2021)
10/10
Perfect
1 January 2022
Season 1: I was hesitant to watch because the commercials made it look a little corny to me, but I was very pleasantly surprised. They cast the perfect mix of actors/actresses. The chemistry is great. The writing is good. It's set in different time periods so sometimes the dialogue has the unnatural prep of the 50s and the quirky beat of the 80 but it's not cringey. The cinematography is artistic.

If you like drama, this show gives it to the very end. It's 3 storylines in this one and they all have their fair share of mess and you keep wondering what'll happen next. This show does a great job of building a connection from character to audience and I even found myself empathizing with some of the antagonists. 10/10.

Season 2: I wasn't going to watch season 2 because I thought there was no way it would be able to top season 1, so I figured I'd quit while I was ahead. I am very glad that I did. There was 100x the mess in season 2 and it started going left very quickly. Every time I thought I knew where it was going, I turned out to be wrong. This season was shocking. And I really liked the ending. The cast was great, the only character's actor I felt didn't really fit in was Deirdre (Dee).

I recommend season 2 if you like black comedies.

I hope s3 can match up well if they decide to make another one.
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Yellowjackets (2021– )
5/10
Great show... if someone else wrote it
12 December 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I guarantee you've seen this show before in some kind of variation. The writing is predictable. The pacing is slow.

That's not inherently a problem. But, when you add poorly written dialogue and poor acting to a show that's predictable and slowly paced: you get this drab affair.

This show is so underwhelming that it can't even make use of its ensemble cast: Christina Ricci, Juliette Lewis, and Melanie Linskey's efforts to raise the stale atmosphere of this supposed-to-be thriller, are all foiled by shallow direction and unimaginative writing.

Overall, the shows problem is: these are not characters that you want to know.

The show has spent a good amount of time, so far, bringing in characters who are curious about the infamous events of the ladies' past. But it fails to deliver the same level of curiosity to its audience because it doesn't to give you characters to which you can connect.

These kinds of shows are tv shows of tv shows. They poorly attempt to write real humans through the lens of television characters.

The flashback scenes exacerbate the dullness. None of the young actors give particularly captivating performances. On top of the poor writing, the show quickly collapses into itself.

It's an interesting premise and it could've been done well by people who could actually write dynamic characters.
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Dexter: New Blood (2021–2022)
7/10
7/10 so far
5 December 2021
Warning: Spoilers
The dialogue is chalky and unnatural. Filled with exposition. Again, Dexter hasn't run across one woman who has common sense. Except his delusion of Deb who actually says everything we, the audience, would like another person to say to him. Poorly acted by anyone who isn't Michael C Hall. But it's difficult, the writing isn't good. The the plot points, so far, are all very predictable.

The writers of Dexter are lucky the new generation doesn't care about writing quality and acting, otherwise, this show wouldn't get renewed.
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5/10
not worth it, but 5 starts for Denzel's acting only
6 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
This move is 40 minutes too long. It's not thrilling. It begins on a mystery but after about 1hr 30 in you realize you're probably not going to get any answers. If the goal was to tell the story of a washed-up officer and a detective on the edge, well, it didn't do that well either. Because the film spends so much of its time trying to convince you it's a mystery thriller. Disappointing. I understand why there wasn't a lot of buzz around this film.
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One Of Us Is Lying (2021–2022)
3/10
the usual bad tv show
3 November 2021
I give it 3 stars because it's not the shows fault that this is the standard for the American thriller genre.

Still: poor writing, bad acting, predictable plot line, plot holes, bad writing, bad acting, predictable plot line. Im saying it x2 because it's truly awful.
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Evil (2019–2024)
2/10
Fake reviews and a thumbs down x2
11 October 2021
Lol the writers of this show or someone at Paramount is definitely paying users or their staff to create fake 9,10/10 reviews. And they aren't even trying to hide it. One review literally says "even the kids are great", and that's all I've seen reviewers complain about all season.

Anyway, let me save you some time. First season is wonderful. Does a great job of teetering on the line of reality and imagination. Won't fully commit to being supernatural or not and that's a perfect metaphor for the discussions of religion that take place. 9/10 truly.

Second season is a HUGE waste of time. I wouldn't bother to start it if you've seen season 1. It's like they got new writers who decided they wanted to turn the show into an anthology series. Each episode has a plot that's overall unrelated to storyline (they pretend to bring it back to the main story but it's always superficial and unfulfilling). This season was nothing but filler. No episode is overall entertaining. When they do get the to the interesting parts, they're too short to make an impact. This season was a waste of time. Not one truly captivating moment. However, Leland does steal the show. The kids are unbearable but it's because they don't write them realistically. The write them as "tv kids". They're always talking over one another and spewing very unfunny one liners.

It's unfortunate that a show with such clear and charismatic style has plummeted into the abyss of bad writing already. That's the true evil.
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4/10
Poorly Executed
2 July 2021
Jennifer Lawrence does a solid job for the most part in her depiction of Katniss. The main problem (outside of the cinematography/direction) is that she's emotionally flat which makes Katniss, who in the book is a complex character (as most main characters are) seem one dimensional. And if your main character is one dimensional, you don't have the facilities for a 2 hr and 20 minute film. Especially a film based off of a book with a lot of plot elements. JLaw does well portraying Katniss in every way, expect when she must convey her emotions for other people. Katniss lacks the intimacy (and the chemistry with both "love" interests), which ultimately is why her relationship with Peeta feels forced and the scene with Rue (you deserved so much better) falls totally flat.

Josh Hutcherson does a great job at connecting to even the dull Katniss. He's as charming as he can be given the choices the filmmakers made.

Likewise, Elizabeth Banks, Lenny Kravitiz, and Woody Harrelson add a little flavor and interest to a very drawn out movie.

This movie is not good for several reasons. The most impacting is the cinematography style choice. Not sure if it's the type of camera used or the editing, but the film doesn't do a good job at setting the tone or mood. For example, scenes from the districts are shot the same way and with the same overlay (if they even used one) as scenes in the capitol. There's no contrast and no style to it. Also, the writing doesn't help. There's a lot to get through with the book being so complicated and in 2 hours the film feels like it's just checking things off the list. Overall, its monotonous.
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Ready or Not (I) (2019)
1/10
Wants to be 'You're Next'.... fails
22 June 2021
This movie is awful. It's not funny. And that's why. As a horror comedy it has to at least deliver on one of these elements. Samara Weaving's acting is... well it's the scripts fault. There's really nothing going on here. This could've maybe been a 30 minute episode in an anthology series or something-although I don't even think they have enough material for that.

This is not 'You're Next'. The main character is insufferable. She's not resourceful; she's useless. There are WAY WAY too many scenes that serve no purpose and just drag on the run time. It does not accomplish anything. It doesn't provide commentary nor is it satirical. It doesn't seem to strive to do anything.
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The Vanished (2020)
8/10
First Watch 3/10, Second 8/10
11 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Most people won't like this as a first watch. The ending is predictable (I clocked it in the first 7 minutes).

The twist isn't surprising it's the now cliche "unable to deal with the pain of losing someone character hallucinates that they are still there"

I was able to figure out the ending when I saw pictures of the little girl, Taylor, and they didn't have any of her past 3-4 years old and she's supposed to be about 10. So yes, as a first watch this thriller ain't so thrilling.

But boy oh boy are these kinds of movies enjoyable on the second watch. Because now you are looking for all the clues that this was a hallucination. And this movie does an absolutely great job at it. Because unlike mommy, daddy knows this isn't real! I recommend you rewatch! And you can observe all the little nuanced ways the dad lets us know he's only in on it for the sake of the mom. It's the way he can't remember certain things that happened with the child, the way he isn't panicked when she disappears, the way he often forgets to include her in the plans.... watch it intently and it actually becomes a very decent thriller...
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WandaVision (2021)
5/10
A brilliants start to a doomed end
5 March 2021
Warning: Spoilers
The first 7 episodes of this show were simply brilliant. A beautiful metacognizant, self-aware, inside-out spin on the comics. The first 7 take the big screen, box office feel of Wanda and Vision and brings it to a small-town corner of the universe. Then episode 8 ruins it with a lot of exposition dialogue and over the top acting (and not in the way that it worked very well in the first 7 episodes but a load of "if you didn't read the comics we're just gonna explain this through uncreative narration". Then Series Finale is even worse. I'm upset. I want a show that can start and end well. This wasn't it. Agatha was set up to be an incredible villain and a great match for Wanda just for it to be ex-machina'd at the end. Also white Vision was useless? Too many nods to the comics without payoffs. Also also, they literally don't know what to do with most of the non-main characters in ep 9; they just sit around and watch in the finale. Just standing around doing nothing. So ugly. 6/10 stars and then a point off for the Fox Quicksilver red herring.
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Wind River (2017)
3/10
Don't waste your time
15 June 2020
Unoriginal thriller centers white characters in a hunt for justice for a Native woman. The white hero savior complex is employed in a boring and predictable way. And Elizabeth Olsen is unbearable in her role as the scarlet witch, I mean an FBI agent trying to "help". And Jeremy Renner is nothing more than a self-righteous vigilante whose involvement is based off of nothing more than his name being in the title credits. This movie is neither effective at thrilling nor storytelling. The dialogue struggles. The visuals aren't moving. Don't waste your time
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