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necrosblood
Reviews
The Wicker Man (1973)
a cult classic?
Maybe it is a cult classic but that does not stop the movie from sucking horribly. I didn't know what to expect from this movie. I was told "hey this is a messed up movie". With that tidbit of information i sat down to watch it. The end result was that i was so angry that i just watched that movie. Even more angry that my friend did not warn me of the pure stupidity of this film. I am not sure if it was all of the terrible musical numbers or the fact that i can not stand wimps and losers, but somewhere along this mess of a movie i was finding myself searching for something to end my life with. Another thing, why don't the cops carry guns? Watch it ... laugh ... and then cry for wasting your time.
Masters of Horror: John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns (2005)
insanely great
Leave it to John Carpenter to take an hour and make it seem like fifteen minutes. I was so absorbed into Cigarette Burns that the time flew by and i was left with the distinctive feeling that horror is NOT dead. This hour long story has everything from great splatter to solid storyline to good acting. This movie hit the bullseye over and over again. We should give the reigns of the horror movie field over to mister Carpenter and just let him run. I have seen so many crap horror movies lately (mostly lions gate films) that even the smallest hint of talent seems so wonderful. Masters of Horror, i thank you for keeping the nightmares alive.
Masters of Horror: Dreams in the Witch-House (2005)
another good H.P. Lovecraft film
Stuart Gordon put this hour of horror into a fine piece of work. A little disappointed with the finish but hey Lovecraft stories are always strange. Some decent splatter and gore here too. The wrist wounds were a bit much considering what caused them. The witch looked very demonic and spooky which added more flavor to the already catchy film. It is a good concept of a movie which was delivered exceptionally well though the eyes of a Lovecraft patron, Gordon. I commend the masters of horror for seeking out the true masters of horror and letting them shine. We all need a breath of fresh air in the horror genre.
The Dark Hours (2005)
sometimes too many twists ...
can really kill a movie. I was into this movie with a certain amount of curiosity. It kept me interested. Then it all broke lose. Take away the last fifteen or twenty minutes of the show and it is all good. Some, not a lot, of good gore was shown in this flick. That was one of the reasons i could not turn off the movie toward the end. I do not understand why people have to screw up a fair movie with so many plot twists and so much weird stuff going on. Leave it alone if it is working out! Quit ruining movies like this Hollywood! Actually we can blame Canada for this one. Anyhow, this is worth a watch if you can keep from banging your head into the wall during the last part of the movie. Would have scored higher for me if the ending was better.
The Benchwarmers (2006)
a few good chuckles
Well, the Benchwarmers did not fail as miserably as i would have thought. The storyline was completely insane but that was to be expected. The blend of actors went really well together. I really did not need to see another Jon Heder reprise of Napoleon Dynamite. Oh well, win some lose some. Overall the humor comes from Jon Lovitz' role in the movie. Probably one of the coolest roles in movie history. He really saves the movie in my eyes. There were other laughable parts in the movie. Mainly crude low brow humor, but funny all the same. Worth a watch? Yes, but owning this one may be for hardcore fans of the actors in the movie. This movie is either foul or fair ... you make the call.
Sea of Fear (2006)
what did i just watch?
I have watched a lot of movies in my time but, i would have to say this movie bombs with the worst of them. Horrible characters, acting, and storyline (or lack there of). I will give credit on the actual look and feel of the movie. It didn't look like a typical turd movie. It still is though. This kind of movie makes me wonder, what does it take to get a movie made? Obviously you do not need a decent actor/actress. You do not need a plot. I assume that all you need is a bunch of idiots and a camera. Well Sea of Fear delivers a talentless cesspool of cinema. In closing, STAY AWAY FROM THIS STINKER! Or you will wonder why you have just wasted a small chunk of your life.
Silent Hill (2006)
impressed but not in awe
I really believe what saved this movie for me is the fact that i am a huge fan of the video games. Don't get me wrong, Silent Hill would be a good movie anyhow but to someone who is not familiar with the games may have trouble following the movie. A lot of the camera angles and of course the music were so true to the game that i was smiling greatly. The special effects were top notch. I was impressed with the Colin monster. Very cool. No real scares or jolts in this one though. It delivered on the big budget feel, though. At least Silent Hill had a fair shake at being done right. It wouldn't be the same if it was done on a low budget. Or with mediocre actors. I tip my hat to the Silent Hill crew. Now if we could only get a good Resident Evil movie i would be happy.
Poseidon (2006)
a pleasing watch
I am a fan of the original Poseidon Adventure. Truly enjoyed the original. I also am a bit fearful when i see another remake movie. With apprehension I started the DVD player. What I came away with was a hope that more remake movies will follow the Poseidon avenue and have the basis of the original but yet change it up enough to make it it's own stand alone movie. In the Poseidon you will find the root elements of the original with some change ups here and there. I was not disappointed with the remake, in fact trading off Gene Hackman for Kurt Russel is a fair swap. Couple that fact with the blockbuster special effects and you have a solid movie. No regrets with this one. A recommended watch boys and girls. Enjoy!