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jessesta
Reviews
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Great movie this is, see it you do
Sorry everybody, but here goes...this is my new favorite Star Wars movie. Better than "Hope", Better than Empire (But just barley) and of course, better than "Jedi" (Though not as good as Menace...kidding). Exellent Sci-Fi comes rarely in a blue moon, mostly it's just cold, weird (in a bad way) and kiddie. I hate the crap that that stupid Sci-Fi channel has done to tarnish the once good name of Shi-Fi. Strange new worlds, adventure and good old fashoned aliens are what great fu**in Science Fiction is for me. Horror and Comedy are still tops, but the strange world of Sci-Fi still floats my boat.
Now, on to the Wars. As i said, Fi isn't really my genre, but i've always loved Star Wars. I don't need to praddle on about how great those old movies are, but i will. Engrossing story, great charactors, ahead of it's time SFX...and Vader was pimp. But when Lucas decided to pick up the regins and shoot the first three segments via blue screen. Now about that Episode one that everyone was in a tizzy about...it sucked, but i'm sure that in that theater, in the moment, after years and months and painful DAYS of waiting, in that packed theater surrounded with other estatic fans it seemed just great. Afterwords was the time for nipicking, and on video it's the worst gosh darn movie ever, i swear (but i can't on this site).
Now Clones, this takes all the great elements of the Holy Trilogy that i was talking about and just makes boosts them ten times higher. The problem with Menace, 'sides the steriotypes and annoying little kids that you wanted to die (That Jake Lloyd COULDN'T have become Vader) you got the feeling that Lucas was afraid to go all the way, get totally engrossed in the story, feel and "Star Wars" vibe. Doesn't make that same mistake again. The entire movie i was knew that this was TRUE Star Wars. I bought the love angle, ignoreing the complants against it because hey, it's not going to be Romeo and Juliet, give Lucas some friggen credit for at least having a love story this involved. Some scenes between Portman and Christianson were actually pretty erotic for a Star Wars flick. Also loved the "Blade Runner" feel of the beggining (If i spell words wrong it's because i'm being kicked off). Add that on with great dialogue between Obi and Anakin, AMAZING CGI, John Williams re-using some classic scores from the original trilogy, 3PO and R2 being cool again for the first time in like, 16 years, Samuel Jackson strutting with a saber. And finally...YODA LIGHTSABER STYLE! DANCE YODA DANCE!!!!!!!!!!
In other words...Great Sci-Fi.
Death to Smoochy (2002)
Great Black Comedy!! don't Listen to Critics! GO SEE IT!!!
God you people, didn't anyone like this flick. I thought it was just F'in amazing! It was funny, creepy, dangerous and nasty as hell! I am a big fan of Devito and i think this is his best film, even better then Throw Mama From The Train (which no one liked eaither, poor Devito). Robin Williams has more than made up for Patch Adams in his classic demented as hell performance as the psychotic Rainbow Randolf, Ed Norton (Smoochy) is funny as all heck as the naive health nut who thinks that children's Television is for actually TEACHING KIDS STUFF, as opposed to trying to sell toys. The Humor was just plain wrong, especially in the "cookie" seen. But as soon as i got out of the theater (beaming, i might add), i realized that the whole world is against me on this one. The person i saw it with hated it with a vengance, NO online critics liked it and no one on IMDB seems to like it eaither! My guess is that this is going to go the Mallrats way and become a big cult hit on video. Yep, in about 2 years this is going to be considered a misunderstood classic that it is! Don't worry Danny, i loved your original, biting, dark and all-together hilarious satire on the maniac world of children's TV!!!
Your best fiend in flicks no one likes,
Jesse Tucker
Good Will Hunting (1997)
wow, who knew?
So, here i am, watching this brilliant drama about one low class guy with a gift whose wants to ignore his chance for a truly better life. He's talking to his best friend, telling him that he's going to stay in the low life he's lived since he was a kid. But his friend looks him strait in the eye and tells him that he can't life like this anymore and he has a true chance in life. As i was getting misty eyed and sad at this amazing seen one thought popped into my head...THIS WAS WRITTEN BY BEN AFFLECK AND MAT DAMON!!!!!! How could these two actors, one a kinda famous actor who's only really good on a Kevin Smith movie set, and the other whose doesn't have any claim to fame at all write an amazing screenplay that's touching and funny and sad. The characters were great, the acting and directing was great and everything in this Movie gelled so well! Robin Williams gave the best performance of his career (aside from Rainbow Randolf of corse!) and Matt And Ben proved they are great actors under the direction of someone besides Kev Smith! Hell, even Casey Affleck is good!
Jesse Tucker
When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
Cute...chick stuff, but cute
This is probably the best "Romantic chick flick Nora Ephron Movie". Even though some parts were a big ripoff of Woody Allen's classic Annie Hall, i still enjoyed it plenty. Billy Crystal was funny (See this along side Throw Mama From THe Train and see how funny the man is) and Meg Ryan Was cute. Not Meathead's best (that honer would be a cross between Spinal Tap and Stand By Me) but fun to watch. Good script, Good actors, fun story. Good for a friday night.
Jesse Tucker
Saturday Night Fever (1977)
Absolutely Exhilarating!
Now this is a classic! It's funny ("Al Pachino!") sad, raw and affecting. Plus one of the best soundtracks in film history! Johnny T. gives one of his best performances ('sides Fiction) as Tony, a Brooklyn toughie who works at a paint shop, gets laid, hangs out his his low life friends and burns the dance floor every saturday night. THis film is about how he starts to hate his racist, hateful life in Brooklyn and wants to escape from his pals and his dysfunctional family to Manhattan. As i said before, this Movie is raw, the last scenes with Tony and his friends when he realizes that he hates his life is powerful stuff. The dance scenes are great too. Anyone who hasn't seen this important and classic Flick by now is officially considered a fink!
Jesse Tucker
Caged Heat II: Stripped of Freedom (1994)
Great Exploitation!
This is a fun watch. Even though i liked the first, this really blew it out of the water! Packed with shameless violence, nudity and catfights, this is a must! I felt i was back in the 70's, when the plot was 2nd to the exploitation of guns and female bodies! Jewel Sheperd was great to! See this along with one for a great womens prison double feature.
Your best fiend in exploitation
Jesse Tucker
Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV (2000)
Troma's epic
Being a big Troma fan for years, i was anticipating this like most normal people want Star Wars episode 2! when i got the bootleg (60 fu**ing bucks!, i am a true fan!), i was not disappointed! This is Troma's Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back (and if you haven't seen that, jump off your roof)! Alot of references and characters from past hits (many people who were fammilier to me, but strangers to others), plus great gags and gore (not to mention all the great nudity) makes this a big treat to us weirdo's who think Trent Hagga is cooler then Ben Affleck! though it is not as good as Tromeo and Juliet or Terror Firmer (what is? but this comes pretty close), i do think this is the ultimate Troma movie! Looking forward to the upcoming Saving Private Toxie and Poultry-geist from Lloyd Kaufman and gang! The DVD is going to rule! e-mail me if you are a fellow Troma fan!
Your Best Fiend in horror and Troma:
Jesse Tucker
Slaughter High (1986)
Pure 80's slasher fun!
if you read my Slumber Party Massacre review, you will know how much i love 80's cheap Halloween clones. Well, this is even better! It's one of the greatest movies i've ever seen! a nerd wrecks havoc on the jocks and sluts who tormented him years after a mean (and so-sadistic-it's funny) prank. Exploding bodies, stabs, burnings, nailings, unnesesary nudity and thats just the first part! it's so eighties, i was expecting Cory Haim to show up (Feldman to !See this sucker and join the only two people (one of which is me) who like it!
YOUR BEST FIEND IN HORROR: JESSE TUCKER
Trauma (1993)
It's great, but my man Argento could do a little bit better
**SPOILERS**This is not Dario Argento's greatest film. It has it's moments of cool and a great killer (with a great kill weapon) but it drags alot and it's kinda weird how Dario has his own DAUGHTER Asia nude in this film (in a scene that serves no purpose to the main plot.) On the otherhand, it's got alot of intense scenes and murdurs (Brad Doriff's death is classic). The killers identity is a real shock (not for me, because the documentary Dario Argento: An Eye For Horror gave it away...!@!#!). the performer who played the killer is one of my favorite performers (SPOLIER WARNING, the killer is someone who was on the greatest show ever, TWIN PEAKS). ANOTHER SPOLIER: the way the killer is killed is pretty dumb (SPOLIER: a stupid kid saves the day), but alot of the film is very fun and those who love Argento will probably like it, but it's certainly is no Suspiria.
Your best fiend in horror movie reviews: Jesse Tucker
The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)
My kind of party!
Ah, the eighties...such a great time in horror pop culture. We had all of those great slasher films that no one seems to like. After Halloween did box office gold, a whole sub-genre of films was created...THE DEAD TEEN GENRE! nowadays these types of films have come back into style (thanks to the pretty good Scream), but man you can't ignore the "classics". Friday the 13, Prom Night,My bloody valentine, and of course...THE SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE!! This film (in my opinion) has the best titles of all the eighties horror "classics", and it's the best Halloween rip off that i've ever seen. I watched it with my ten year old sister and we had a lot of fun with it, pointing out the cliches and giggleing with delight at the fun gore. Sure its got the fake scares, the unnecessary nudity, the phony gore, the bad acting, and the stupid characters, but's thats why i love horror movies and always will...by the way, it's about some chicks who have this slumber party and half to put up with annoying guys and a creepy killer with a drill!
Yo.ur best fiend in horror: Jesse Tucker P.S. I LOVE SEQUELS!!!