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SheinkoM
Reviews
Calvaire (2004)
The Stupid Ordeal...
Me and my friend were expecting a cool, macabre, foreign horror movie...what we got was a poor excuse of both time and entertainment. Horror is cool, making a movie about a bunch of horny gay guys who are mentally retarded is not cool. Not to mention the main character is such an asshole...who the hell drives on a creepy ass road?? Not to mention this queer guy thinks its cool to wear a cape and touch old ladies' crotches. The point is, this movie fails at delivering horror but thinks they're "controversial" about making a movie about a guy getting screwed by weird people. Do not watch this movie...it condones bestiality. P.S there are no nude women what-so-ever, and the only action scene is the god damned credits.
Beyond the Wall of Sleep (2006)
The BEst Crappy Movie
Oh my god, I just watched this movie, Beyond the Wall of Sleep, and it must be a joke. It has to be. This movie was so shitty that my testicles blew up. The acting is worse than a high school play. The way it was shot makes you stand up and scream "what the f*ck" at the T.V. I read the damn short story and it was shitty too. Don't MAKE A SHITTY MOVIE OUT OF A SHITTY STORY. SCREW YOU WHO EVER WASTED MY TIME! OK, Now I'll actually explain why i feel this way. 1. The main characters wig keeps changing places. 2. No one on the box is actually in the movie. 3. Apparently anybody from the Catskills...is a retard? 4. No one says "im gonna crush your balls and throw you into the gutter.