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A Very English Christmas (I) (2023 TV Movie)
4/10
Christmas NOT in the Cotswolds
11 December 2023
For anyone not acquainted with the Cotswolds, they are a region in central-southwest England, along a range of rolling hills that feature some of the most picturesque villages and countryside in the U. K. I selected this film as easy watching for my wife and I as she dislikes anything with much drama/action/violence/noise. When I selected it the location was a big selling point. Call me old fashioned but when i select a film called Christmas in the Cotswolds i expect some Cotswolds! There were none ! Some aerial shots of non descript countryside but none of the rolling hills and beautiful villages of the Cotswolds!! You may think i am being unfair as the film is the main topic but when you also have dreadful acting, a cast with little or no chemistry, characters with no depth, an unnecessary age range of people - one daughter is in her late thirties her half sister is 9 - so it appears the cast was designed to fit in anyone that wanted to take part, a script that may have been written in about an hour with little or no wit or humour, you would think using the ******* Cotswolds as a distraction would be one of the first things anyone would do.

Anyway rant finished the Mrs thought it was harmless hence not getting lower marks but seriously dont waste your time.
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5/10
only watchable for Raylan
11 September 2023
I loved "old" Justified and so this "new" Justified is a bitter disappointment. One of the main appeals of Old Justified was the unusual (to a UK based viewer) location, and Raylans interaction with his friends and the villains. "New" Justified has basically got rid of all those features. The new version is set in Detroit so looks like any one of half a dozen other cop shows , and the scenery is pretty depressing. There are no real characters around Raylan, except the underused Wendell, for him to exchange banter with. He does have the most annoying daughter who is somewhere between brat and half wit, and you cant really see Raylan raising her that way. The villain spends too much time wandering around in white Y fronts ( who wears white y fronts anymore?) and Boyd Crowder would eat him for breakfast.

Bring back old Justified , get the old cast together, move it back to Kentucky and get some decent writers. Please!
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Who Is Erin Carter? (2023– )
4/10
unlikeable leads
1 September 2023
I am really keen to find an engaging action /thriller series to watch at the moment, but this isn't it.

I'm quite happy to suspend some disbelief for such films but the biggest problem here is that so much of the story focuses on the lead character - Erin Carter and her daughter and I didn't take to either of them.

The mother hasn't really got the charisma to be the lead and the daughters behaviour is generally irritating. Overall the series has a weird feel to it which is difficult to explain, like its a "foreign" film dubbed into English but it isn't, they are speaking English. There are some minor issues like the characters being involved in fights with some pretty vicious punishment, but the next day showing no signs of any damage, but I could have overlooked that. Very disappointing as it could have been much better.
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Northern Soul (2014)
4/10
opportunity missed
21 March 2023
I was 12 in 1974 , when this film is set. I remember Northern Soul fans appearing in the crowd on Top of the Pops when a Northern Soul record made the charts and with their style of dancing it was like aliens had landed. Nobody in our part of the world had seen anything like it and it was a major talking point the next day at school. I've had an interest in the music ever since.

Sadly I felt this film was a missed opportunity. It was billed on TV as a comedy /drama, but it certainly isn't a comedy , there are very few laughs, and in fact the subplot of drugs is quite grim.

I always felt that the Northern Soul scene was actually quite positive and peaceful in comparison to some of the trends around in that era and i think the film should have reflected that and been a lot more positive , more like the Commitments was for Soul.

Overall the script is quite cliched and you can see some of the events coming a mile away. A real pity it could have been so much better.
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1/10
Total Rubbish
16 September 2022
Warning: Spoilers
We've just watched the first episode and i wont be watching any more. Its a pity because the production values seem high and they've spent some money on it, but the script is very poor and the central characters are really unlikeable.

Stefan thinks is a good idea to propose to his girlfriend at someone else's wedding! And the actress who plays Katie is not attractive enough to carry a series like this. And it isn't funny

After watching this, and it thankfully ending, I switched over and watched an episode of Brassic and laughed more in the first 2 minutes than in the full 30 of this rubbish!
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Persuasion (I) (2022)
1/10
Awful, Awful film
19 August 2022
This film was billed as Bridgerton meets Bridget Jones. That is completely inaccurate as both those productions are well shot and well acted . A far more accurate summary of this should read one pile of crap meets another another pile of crap, resulting in a big pile of crap that wasted 147 minutes of my life.

I would give it less than 1 if i could. One of my biggest complaints is that apart from Dakota Johnson, nearly everyone else in the cast is unattractive in appearance and their characters are unpleasant in behaviour, so you don't really care about who ends up with who. The film is too long ( by about 147 minutes!) This also stars Henry Golding who was also in Last Christmas. So thats 2 of the worst films I've ever seen, Henry seriously get someone else to vet your scripts.

Seriously if you are thinking of watching this film, don't. Do something more entertaining like reorganising your sock drawer.
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Killing Eve (2018–2022)
5/10
ban laura neal
19 April 2022
There are punishments for doing something harmful in almost every public medium, sport , politics etc and i believe there should be in entertainment as well. Laura Neal took over one of the best shows on TV and turned it into a rambling, self indulgent, sadistic pile of crap that wasted the talents of Jodie Comer/Sandra Oh and Fiona Shaw. Neal should be banned from writing any mainstream series for the foreseeable future for the sake of the public.
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1/10
Complete rubbish
11 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
I just wasted 2 hours watching an episode about the hunt for a Nazi U boat. To save you doing the same thing i can exclusively reveal that they didn't find it. In fact they didn't find anything. In fact i suspect that they couldn't find Mr Fishburnes backside using both hands.

Surely there should be some governance for programmes like this to show that they contain no discoveries or new information whatsoever.
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Pixie (2020)
8/10
if you like Guy Ritchie films you'll like this
29 October 2020
Its not a classic but there are very few films out there at all at the moment, and this passed a very pleasant evening for me and my son. Olivia Cooke steals the film as Pixie and the rest of the cast provide good support. Alec Baldwin and Colm Meaney could have been used more. There are a few twists and the scenery is lovely. I think if you like Guy Ritchie style films you'll enjoy this.
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Armchair Thriller: High Tide: Part 1 (1980)
Season 2, Episode 19
4/10
Disappointing
14 April 2020
This appeared on the Talking Pictures channel as a "Thriller Film" with no indication it was originally a 4 part TV show. I like Ian McShane, but this was very disappointing, it took nearly 2 hours for nothing much to happen. Maybe its been edited badly but some of the dialogue was very poor and quite disjointed and there were enough holes in the plot to drive a bus through. I'm sorry I wasted my time.
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4/10
How to ruin a great story
18 January 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Ruin the main action scenes and climax of the story by interrupting it with dance scenes! The director should be banned.
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1/10
awful, awful, awful film
14 February 2019
This film represents exactly why the British Film industry is struggling. Take some lovely locations, Surrey, London, Rome , some great actors , Staunton, Spall, Lumley, etc but then add an awful script and what do you get? a waste of 90 minutes or so. This was billed as a Hilarious, heart warming comedy. It is none of those things. There are no real laugh out loud moments, its depressing rather than heart warming, as there are more sad bits than happy ones and as a result it isn't a comedy. Films are very subjective but if i see any future credits for the muppets that wrote this, I will avoid like the plague.
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Their Finest (2016)
5/10
a missed opportunity
22 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I would love to have given this film a much higher mark, but i felt it missed a golden opportunity to produce a potential classic. It has all the right ingredients, a good likeable cast, a topical subject with the recent films on dunkirk and churchill raising interest in this era, a clever premise of them making a film within a film, and there are some nice lines and good performances (Bill Nighy is excellent as always) but for me they blow it through the death of one of the leading characters. I understand they may have felt they were making a point about war, but for me they were being too clever. A nice happy ending would have left the film as a classic feel good film, like a "local hero", instead of a slightly frustrating one. This is especially annoying as within the film Gemma Artertons character is advised to make sure one of their films has a happy ending. A pity they didn't heed their own advice.
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1/10
absolute rubbish
22 April 2018
Its very rare for me not to stick with a film, but this was such drivel that i actually switched it off after 30 minutes. The Script could to have been written by a 12 year old as a school project. The heroine and the two hero brothers lose all sympathy within the first few minutes by acting (i'm using the word very loosely) as complete graceless halfwits, so i didnt really care if the bad guys got away with it or not. Its a pity , the premise is good and if a grown up had written the script it could have been a good action movie.
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6/10
Pleasant undemanding entertainment
23 January 2017
I wrote this after seeing the film on TV and reading the other reviews which i felt were very harsh. The main problem with the film is that it seems to fall between comedy and mystery with not quite enough of either, also the pace is poorly judged with a lot of messing around in the first 90% of the film before the mystery is solved in the last 5 minutes . It reminded me of long ago school homework when you start well but lose interest and put down anything to get it finished. But despite that this is basically a harmless glimpse of a world which is nowadays almost forgotten. There are some good lines, Diana Dors looks gorgeous and Hulbert and Courtneidge are charming in their roles and overall this is pleasantenough way of filling an afternoon.
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Jersey Boys (2014)
6/10
Should have been better
26 July 2015
we saw the London stage production of Jersey Boys and it was one of the best stage show I've seen in 30 years of theatre going. I also love music from the 50's and 60's including the 4 Seasons songs. And I'm a big fan of Clint Eastwood who produced and directed this, so all the boxes are ticked to really enjoy the film and give it a 9 or 10.......and I wish I could. The simple reason(s) I can't is the awful singing of John Lloyd Young who plays Frankie Valli. Now the focal point of the story is FV's amazing voice that was the ticket out of new jersey for this group , but in this film at times he sounds like he has been sucking helium from a balloon! now this is bad enough but considering that when this became apparent they could simply have had the actors dubbed by the original songs this is criminal. Add in some other problems like the makeup as the actors age being awful and you have a deeply disappointing film. Mr Eastwood needs to take the blame for this major gaffe.
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6/10
could have been so much better
16 April 2014
I've just watched this on TV and wanted to make a specific point that in my opinion this film was ruined by the casting. The 3 musketeers has been redone so many times that I thought that the updating of technology was a new twist and that it was OK, in what was clearly meant to be a "boys own" adventure. the main story was far fetched but entertaining. What spoilt the finished article was that d'artagnan , and porthos had no charm whatsoever, aramis was completely anonymous, milady wasn't sexy enough to be the supposed seductress, the queen looked about 12 and again had no sex appeal, Richelieu and his main henchman were not menacing enough and Buckingham was reduced to a pantomime villain, although this was more the script than blooms performance.......I cant think of many films with so many main characters so miscast. the only ones who came out of it with some credit were athos (matthew macfadyen) and constance (gorgeous gabrielle wilde)and planchet (james corden)a great pity as it could have been much much better.
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The Knot (2012)
1/10
totally charmless
19 September 2013
to put this in perspective we sat down to watch this as something suitable and harmless for us both and we ended up switching it off after about 15 minutes. Do the people that made this really need to have it explained to them that there should be something endearing about the people in a romantic comedy? also a guide for a comedy is that its an idea to put some funny lines in........absolutely charmless.

This film was so bad that without a doubt some of the other gushing reviews are fake. This is an embarrassment to the British film industry and a waste of an opportunity.
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1/10
One of the worst films i've ever seen
12 April 2013
my daughter and I were spending an evening in and selected this because it was billed as a comedy and because we have liked several of Simon pegs other films. After wasting and hour and half of my life we both agreed that it was one of the worst films we've ever seen. Firstly its not a comedy, because comedies contain humour, it has no funny lines at all. Secondly much of the first 3/4 of the film is just Simon pegg getting increasingly paranoid. As we also have the benefit of a voice over explaining what is happening this soon wears thin and the constant repetition of this theme is as though the film is treating the viewer as a witless prat. The only witless prat I could see was whoever wrote this rubbish. The last 1/4 of the film finally moves outside Simon pegs flat and the "twist"/finale is so ludicrous that it doesn't bear repeating. Suffice to say that the film descends into something more akin to a horror film. I was left with the impression that the writer got bored and decided to just put down any old rubbish to finish the film off. I have mentioned this theme before that in sports if a player commits a serious offence they can be banned from their sport as a punishment, I know its just a crazy thought but I would genuinely like to see the people who made this, either get a ban from film making as a punishment or get "points on their licence" so that if they make another film as bad in the future they then get banned. Awful , awful film.
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The Dilemma (2011)
1/10
unbelievably bad
2 December 2011
We started watching this film looking forward to a light hearted comedy, and ended up hating everything about it. Firstly and a fairly important point for a comedy its not funny!! there are literally no witty lines in it at all, instead its like a substandard drama, when it sets up situations that could be funny, every set piece is blown either with unnecessary violence,peoples lives being ruined or without any killer lines. Vince Vaughan does those stream of consciousness style speeches throughout that are self indulgent and cringemaking, again not funny. I would guess he has maybe 1 or 2 more turkeys like this and then his career is dea. I cannot believe that others who have shown real talent, connelly, howard etc could combine to produce such rubbish. It would be very interesting to know what went on behind the scenes that it ended up like this. Again i doubt mr vaughan or howard read this but if you do please send me £10 as a small recompense for watching this. Thank you.
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3/10
where's Cary Grant when you need him?
11 November 2011
My wife and I watched this on a lazy afternoon, simply hoping for a harmless rom-com. Sadly the film left me deeply depressed at the state of modern film making and after 10 minutes or so I was desperately wishing that we had people still making the sort of films Cary Grant used to be in. It's just my opinion but what was wrong with this film was the following, I like Drew Barrymore but she's getting too old for these roles, she looked like Justin Long's mum at times. Justin Long, see previous comment re Cary Grant, in comparison Justin has the charm and screen presence of a house brick. The script, I swear a lot and i'm not a prude but putting f*** in every sentence is not a substitute for wit or sharp dialogue. There was no chemistry between the leads, and the basic premise of the story, a romance hampered by them being on opposite sides of the USA just lead to them both looking selfish,or too stupid to discuss a compromise rather than sympathising with their plight. Also re the script the use of "crazy" friends is fine , as long as they again provide some wit or sharp dialogue rather than that talking over each other, and just adding some toilet based rubbish. In sports if people fail or foul they can be punished by suspensions,we should have the same system in films, its a pity that whoever wrote this can't be suspended for a year or get points on their "writing licence" so next time you know they are rated as a no star writing team..........i'm off to watch that Touch of Mink on DVD. Thanks for listening.
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5/10
Doris let down
10 February 2011
We think Doris Day's films are generally excellent and having watched a number from a boxed set recently ( Pillow Talk, The Thrill of it all, etc) this one is comparatively a disappointment BUT it's not Doris's fault....the film is about 30 minutes too long, the script isn't sharp enough and Rod Taylor shouts all the time and comes across as completely obnoxious to the point where you think she would be better off without him - not exactly the point for a Rom-Com? -Oh and as a Brit I have to say that some of the British characters accents are nearly as bad as Dick Van Dyke in Mary Popping. However! DD performs valiantly, she looks great, especially when you realise she was 43 when she made this, her comic timing is excellent and in her scenes she either exudes charm naturally or is good enough as an actress to look like she exudes charm, I prefer to believe the former. Watch this if you're in an undemanding mood, but if you have the choice watch one of her earlier ones instead.
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1/10
I Hate Films like this
11 April 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I hate films like this that aren't what they are supposed to be. We wanted a romantic comedy and this was billed as one. It isn't. Firstly the film shows a different approach to "comedy" - it has no funny lines, and no funny situations. Secondly I fail to see why if you are setting out to make a romantic comedy you have to include a death in a film, and the obvious impact on the child casts a pall over the rest of the movie.If I wanted to watch a film about bereavement, I'd have selected something from the "Films about Bereavement" section.Thirdly there was little or no chemistry or romance between the leads. So really this Film should have more accurately been billed as a "blank, blank" Film, but perhaps that wouldn't have sold as well? Another thought - in sports players who break the rules face suspensions or fines, Why don't they bring in the same system for movies? whoever wrote this rubbish could then be suspended (3 months, 6 months?)or perhaps have points on his licence like for driving offences so in future you can look at a film this, and see it billed as a romantic comedy....by a man with 6 points on his licence for producing previous garbage!
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Casino Royale (2006)
1/10
This isn't a bond film
22 March 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I am a big Bond fan, and this is the first one that I haven't seen at the cinema since Diamonds are Forever in 1971. I saw the DVD yesterday and what a disappointment.

Firstly the good stuff, the locations are original, which is not easy when the franchise has been going round the world for 40+ years, and the photography is excellent ( the cranes against the ocean during the chase, the colours of the sites around lake como)and Judi Dench is always excellent..... and that's pretty much it.

Now the list of moans Daniel Craig is not my idea of Bond, the publicity machine seems to have gone into overdrive about Mr Craig, but nobody that i know who has personally seen the film liked it or him. Craig at times looks more like a down and out rather than a suave agent. He was good in Layer Cake but has zero charisma in this The basic plot (Bond takes on financier for international terrorism) is a good start but has numerous stupid ideas that spoil it for example why would Bond break into M's flat rather than just talk to her in her office? The chronology of the film is all wrong, it clearly shows it's set in 2006 but disregards all his other background, for me this didn't work. the film then drifts off into the overlong card game, with the ridiculous defibrillator scene The villain is rubbish - his "gadget" is an asthma inhaler! my mum could take him out and she's 81! Bond is fooled by everyone, the women, the villain, the bloke who is meant to be helping him, he has to rescued by the bad guys! he gets beaten up loads as well and he gets tortured, and in an embarrassing way, Connery would have bitten through the ropes and killed the guy with the chair! The girls aren't memorable enough some of the lines are pathetic, one is about "if all that was left of you was your hat(?) and your little finger".....embarrassing. Personally I want to go to see escapist Bond, charming the ladies, killing the baddies, always being one step ahead, and always having something witty to say. If I wanted the so called depressing realism I'd look in the mirror. Bottom Line ( no pun intended after the reference to the torture scene)if you didn't have Judi Dench in this, it could pass as just another Bourne/transporter/crank type of average action movie. This is a poor addition to the Bond series. Very disappointing.I hope that they ensure the people who wrote this, don't have anything to do with the next one.
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6/10
War Cry
22 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
I haven't seen this film for years, but on an episode of "This is your Life" which I think was devoted to Lionel Jeffries he told the story that during the making of this film as he was meant to be pole vaulting out of a maze, during one of the intelligence tests set for the soldiers. he casually mentioned he wanted some sort of war cry to make his jump more dramatic, one of the other actors "helpfully" suggested the "old gaelic war cry" of Pogue Mahone! which Jeffries used,shouting it loudly as he vaulted, not knowing what it meant. Apparently this went unnoticed except where they speak gaelic and which brought the house down when the film was shown in Ireland and Scotland, (it translates as "kiss my ****")
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