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Reviews
A Belle for Christmas (2014)
Terrible
I was trapped by family pressure and had to sit through this nightmare of a movie last Christmas. Dean Cain was a widower who'd lost his wife, with some kids, and they were just trying to make it through life. This was about as far as I was able to pay attention; the acting was deeply terrible and the writing was painfully obvious and cliche-ridden, obliterating my ability to follow the insulting and trite storyline.
There's plenty of great Christmas movies out there that are genuine and enjoyable. This is NOT one of them.
God's Not Dead (2014)
Wow
This movie is so bad, everyone will hate it, regardless of your race, religion or creed. The premise is obvious, trite, and insults the viewer. Every moment is filled with cliches, stereotypes, and ridiculousness.
Watching the professor force every student to sign a paper denouncing any religious faith is maybe the best/worst part of all. No school would allow that.
Utter garbage.
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017)
Epic Fail
Oi! What's Guy Ritchie gone and done with King Arfur, then?
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword piles mounds of modern action flash on an age-old tale - and wipes out much of what made it a classic story in the first place. Director Guy Ritchie can turn London crime dramas into cinematic lightning, but apply his fast cuts and jagged pacing to the Arthurian legend and you get, well, a brutal, bleedin' mess.
I'm no businessman, but plans for a six-film franchise may be optimistic. Optimism is nowhere to be found in Ritchie's movie itself. It is a grim and stupid thing, from one of the world's most successful mediocre filmmakers.
To that hallowed list of great expensive follies - "John Carter," "Ishtar," "Heaven's Gate" - let us ceremonially add another name: "King Arthur: Legend of the Sword."
The Thinning: New World Order (2018)
terrible
Truly awful. A horrible cast, following a horrible script, horribly directed and edited. How did this happen?!
Magnum P.I. (2018)
Wow, that's bad
The new Magnum PI is pretty unwatchable. The characters are awkward and uncomfortable, with actors struggling to get through their lines. The storylines are boring and uninterested, mostly replaced with pointless violence and action sequences. This is studio TV at it's worst. Just terrible.
The Ideal (2011)
Awful awful awful awful
This is bad. Very, very bad. The story plays out as if written by children, with endlessly long and pointless scenes filled with wandering dialog and incredibly wooden acting. There is no atmosphere whatsoever, and no sense of plot, suspense, story arc, or any of the other most basic elements required of a film script. Yet as bad as the acting and story are, the lighting, camera work, direction, set design, and basically every other aspect of the production are worse. The lighting in particular is just awful. Every scene is difficult to look at.
The reviews giving 8, 9, 10 stars are all written by people related to the film. Dead giveaway: every one of the fake reviews recites a list of credits. No real review would carefully note the names of some of the worst actors who will never grace the silver screen again.
I challenge you to make it to the end of the film. I don't think it can be done. Truly terrible.