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kurtbozwell
Reviews
Spaceman (2024)
The appeal is Sci-Fi, but that's not what it's about.
If you're like me, you thought, "I love Adam Sandler! And I love Sci-Fi!" It didn't look like goofball Sandler, either. It looked like Uncut Gems Sandler. So it was a no-brainer. I'm watching this tonight.
And I'm not sure other reviews around my score will agree, but it starts off just fine. A deep space astronaut is sent to investigate a strange phenomenon splashed across the sky and encounters an unexpected visitor on his ship. The idea actually sounds awesome. Early on, they also allude to marital issues, which is a totally fine subplot.
But it turns out that that IS the plot. Again, if you're like me, the fact that the main character wants to make things right with his wife is totally fine, but you want to know more about this universal spectacle he's chasing down. And you never quite get it. Instead, you meet a sentient spider that inexplicably speaks English and possesses some sort of ability that allows Sandler to revisit pivotal moments of his relationships with his wife and father.
It did lead me to wonder if the spider was really there. But you don't get that answer either. I thought we might be heading somewhere when the spider deemed Sandler's efforts to reconcile himself a failure and displayed a brief moment of aggression, but I was wrong.
There are certainly some elements to this film, but the overwhelming desire to "make you think" or appeal to some type of existential meaning actually makes it drag. If that's your thing, then I DO recommend you watch it. But if you're just a Sandler fan wondering how he meshes with Sci-Fi, there's no shame in skipping this one.
Good Burger 2 (2023)
Great Nostalgia, But The Rest...
I think you'll notice by my username that I'm a big fan of the original. And the first 20-30 minutes or so of the sequel really delivered for fans like myself. The yo-yo/grape nose boy scene was a nice touch, and even the quickest dialogue such as the strawberry jacuzzi callback had me smiling ear to ear. There's even a Kenan & Kel show nod. But overall, it just doesn't recapture the same essence of the first movie.
I'm not asking for the perfect comedy movie, either. It's based off of an All That sketch, so I don't have a problem suspending reality a little bit. However, the sequel relied a bit too much on slapstick humor for my liking. There's dopey security guards at the doorstep of a billion dollar corporation, a couple of driving scenes that felt redundant, and a fart joke that just doesn't land. Ed also owns the restaurant and has an entire family complete with a wife and kids, which is information that is just given to you but never really elaborated upon.
The main villain also isn't introduced until probably two thirds of the way through the movie, and although I enjoyed her plan and motivation, she still just wasn't that interesting. This kind of threw off the overall pacing of the movie. And I know! It sounds sort of ridiculous to complain about because it's a kids movie about a couple of guys working at a burger joint. But while I was watching, I couldn't help but feel that way.
I swear that my expectations weren't sky high. I just wanted it to feel like the original, and although it started that way, I felt like I was losing connection a little bit as it went on. Because of the years between the release of the original and the sequel, I don't think it's unreasonable to assume that the main consumers of this movie might be 28-40 year old dudes (we're all dudes, after all).
Swallow (2019)
Here's the Problem with the Good Reviews
Before I elaborate, I do think that the lead actress really delivered. Her ability to convey emotion was really what kept me watching. And despite what I'm about to say below, I do think that the main character's confrontation of trauma was a compelling scene. But as I titled this review, let me tell you the issue I have with a lot of the good ones.
They'll tell you how powerful the performances were, what the movie is about on a deeper level, and describe the impact of its message. However, when you don't agree with that message, they tell you it's just a movie or that you're too shallow-minded to understand. But make no mistake, there's plenty of subliminal themes that the movie wants you to pick up on. None more clear than the final five minutes or so.
Bottom line: don't let the description on your streaming app confuse you. That is technically what the movie is about, but that's not really its focus.
End of the Road (2022)
Watched for Ludacris. Wish I Hadn't.
The plot might've stood a chance without the subliminal messaging, but Hollywood just can't help themselves. Hillbillies chasing a family out of a gas station? Sure, a regular Wednesday afternoon. Car chase into some desert foxhole of folks with Hills Have Eyes vibes? We've all been there! Sheriff ends up being the drug lord? Tale as old as time.
Beyond that, Queen Latifah is whatever the movie needs her to be. Widower, ER nurse, car mechanic, Jason Bourne, Dominic Toretto, and the voice of reason. Except, of course, when it comes to the "happy ending" where she ultimately agrees that keeping the drug money is acceptable.
There's so much to roll your eyes at. My strong recommendation would be to avoid pressing play. Even if you want to just shut your brain off for an hour or two, find something else.
Goodnight Mommy (2022)
One Flaw Keeps This a 5 or 6 Rather Than a 9
I didn't see the original. I went in knowing nothing. Obviously, I gave the movie a respectable score (five felt too harsh), but I might've considered turning it off had I not been impressed by the acting performances.
The lone (albeit large) flaw of this film is that the "twist" is so blatantly obvious from the very beginning. Seriously from the second or third scene, I found myself wondering why I was going to wait 75 or more minutes for the reveal that I was already expecting. But there were some other aspects of the plot that kept me curious enough to see it through.
It certainly wasn't bad, and even though I didn't expect the last two or three minutes, it still felt like I was watching something I had seen before just because I knew where it was headed. Like I said, the acting was stellar. And at a run time of around 85 minutes, it's a quick watch. A fine way to tire your eyes out before bed.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Fast and Furious with Dinosaurs
I genuinely believe that if you switched the casts of this movie with the recent casts of Fast and Furious, it would make equally as much sense and the movie wouldn't change a bit.
Chris Pratt (Owen) is Vin Diesel (Dom) because obviously. Jeff Goldblum (Malcolm) is Tyrese (Roman) because he's witty and hilarious. Sam Neill (Grant) is Sung Kang (Han) because he's back for almost no reason at all. DeWanda Wise (Kayla) is Michelle Rodriguez (Letty) for the tough female support. Mamoudou Athue (Ramsay) is Ludacris (Tej) for the tech knowledge. Isabella Sermon (Maisie) is Nathalie Emmanuel (Ramsey) because they're sought after by the bad guys. BD Wong (Dr. Wu) is Kurt Russell (Mr. Nobody) because they're the intelligence ops leaders.
I'm sure I could keep going but you probably get the point by now. The dinosaurs were a complete subplot that existed only to serve the title of the franchise. There's no rhyme or reason to the dinosaur fight scenes for anything but fan service. However, I did still give it a five because a four felt too harsh.
Underwater (2020)
The Descent meets The Core (and maybe Life)
This movie doesn't force the often unwanted, often unnecessary backstory on you. Sure, it's lacking a bit for character development, which doesn't allow you to feel an attachment to the cast, but perhaps there's meant to be an emphasis on loneliness? They're six miles underwater. There's little concept of time or connection to the outside world.
But the plot wastes no time getting underway and I found myself interested in problem A even before problem B arises. As with any disaster movie focusing on a specific group of protagonists and their escape/resolution, there's some cliché to it, but you'll be more curious about the antagonists anyway. Some TJ Miller comic relief is thrown in to off-set Kristen Stewart's subdued expressions, and I certainly wouldn't criticize either of their performances.
Bottom line: it you're looking for an action/thriller/sci-fi movie that won't put you to sleep before it starts, "submerge" yourself Underwater. And, on that awful joke, goodnight.
The Forever Purge (2021)
How Hollywood Views America, Probably.
If you're a raging liberal, you'll probably find this movie to be a powerful social commentary, and if you're a raging conservative, you'll probably find the subliminal messaging in this movie to be nauseating.
Personally, I seek to be entertained by the thoughtfulness and originality of movies, but this is the fifth try at the same premise and it's truly worn out. I wish I could Purge it from my memory. Gave it a two because the last hour or so is non-stop action, but that can't redeem an otherwise senseless film.