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Reviews
Perry Mason: The Case of the Golden Fraud (1959)
Glaring error in story line
At the end of the episode it is claimed that Elliott Hale stood outside of the door to Sylvia Welles' apartment and overheard the edited tape of Richard Vanaman and Welles being played. This edited scurrilous tape, arranged by Doris Petrie, was intended to be used to damage Vanaman's reputation at his investment firm. It was Doris Petrie's hope that her husband would then be given the position of VP at the investment firm. The problem is that this tape was not edited until after Sylvia Welles had been murdered. Elliott Hale could never have listened through a peep hole as claimed to the tape being played. A huge and rare oversight for a usually consistent Perry Mason script.
Killing Fields (2016)
A dissipated cop with drinking problem + cold case = 60 minutes of boredom
The name "Killing Fields" is a misnomer. It should be renamed "Killing Ratings". Louisiana once again is in the cross hairs of reality TV producers. Not for alligators or cat fish hunting. This time the producers are looking to repackage small production budgets and amateur local talent into a cheap version of "Cold Case". They fail miserably. The show is rife with dramatic slow mo shots of a rogue's gallery of washed up ex-cops engaging in irrelevant activities: Wiping brows while in deep thought, swigging booze, eating crawdads, jogging in thrift store tennis shoes. Not much time seems to be spent investigating and the dramatic film noirish shots aren't enough to save this tedious shipwreck of a reality TV show.
War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave (2008)
The Neverending Alien Story
Little can be said about this pointless yarn other than that it has a beginning, a middle, and eventually an end. For me, the end didn't come soon enough so I changed the channel. But not before I had seen two cycles of a Hugh Laurie impersonator getting sucked into and spat out of some B-movie stage that I presume represents the inner workings of a Martian. The set designer did his best to cast an alien aura to the Martians with what he could find scouring thrift stores and dumpster diving. But the makeshift special effects did little to offset the bad acting, writing, and directing. All in all the movie was a bad experience that I have promised myself that I will never repeat.
Amish Haunting (2014)
Tedious Entertainment at the Expense of the Amish
Another tedious "_____ Amish _____" reality TV series brought to you by the same guy who created "Breaking Amish", "Amish Mafia", "Return to Amish" and a host of other uninteresting series. This uninspired gem repackages the worst of ghost hunting, demonology and Amish life with the eerie pumping, squealing, clanging and pounding sound tracks that bring to mind a family of raccoons let loose in a closet full of unused musical instruments.
There's lots of shunning, family disgrace, and even a "demon camp" (apparently the Amish equivalent of a possessed kid's summer camp.) It's a rich tapestry of clichés likely to last two seasons at best.
The Curse of Oak Island (2014)
Repetitive
Another season of slugging through swamps and probing the tailings of a filled in hole in the ground and what do we have: Two Spanish coins of dubious origin. But I wouldn't want to spoil the excitement that builds to a crescendo of drums and cymbals before every commercial. What will the diver come up with this time? A stump from an oak tree? A Molson's bottle cap? Another Spanish coin? Feeling like the poor shmoe with the Nitrox tank doing most of the work in the show, we're left to slog through five minutes of commercials, another five minutes of rehashing the last ten minutes, and then the denouement. Can someone please wake me up?
Forbidden History: The Mystery of the Giants (2013)
Interesting if you like fringe history
This seems to be a British knock off of "America Unearthed", down to dramatic sound scores that crescendo into long awaited commercials. And, just like "America Unearthed", during long commercials breaks you're given ample opportunity to turn the sound down and ask yourself questions like:
"What great mystery is the narrator going to reveal when the commercial is over?" and "Why the hell don't I just change the channel?"
Fortunately, I didn't have to wait for my questions to be answered. I nodded off halfway through the show and managed to miss the revelations. I guess I'll never know if a race of alien giants settled into Sardinia for world-class pasta, red wine and a chance to rule over the locals.
Ghost Stalkers (2014)
Send me to the light! Please!
There are three redeeming qualities to this pseudo-paranormal yarn:
A narrator who delivers a blow by blow description of the haunting in a painful monotone as stiff as Kevin Costner doing a poetry reading.
A spooky soundtrack composed by a three-fingered pianist.
A camera man who makes every shot of a building look like a hideout from "Batman".
Beyond these notables, there is little to recollect from this show. The usual creaks and groans from a condemned building, lights on EMF meters flashing on command, feelings of dread, unintelligible voices, and mysterious scratches on the back (possibly from the pianist). I can't see a reason why this show will survive.
Booze Traveler (2014)
Not reality enough
The show seems to fall short. The viewer is never shown the darker side of going on a bender in a foreign country. Sure we're introduced to all kinds of exotic drinks and interesting places, but something is missing. You never see Jack Maxwell stiff as a board drunk.
Maybe what the show needs is a nice trip to a Mexican border town. He should visit the soft underbelly of the seedy side of some cuidad where he gets so sloppy that he can't tell whether or not the fat hookers he's buying rounds for are men or women. Maybe follow that up with a fight with the locals, a tune up by a pair of local Policia, and a weekend in a Mexican jail. Now that would have the makings for an entertaining travel TV show.
Solving History with Olly Steeds (2010)
Nice presentation but camera work is atrocious
I tried to watch "Lost City of Gold" but got a headache from the camera work and the edits. It was filmed in that jumpy photo-realistic style made popular with such action movies as "Bourne Identity" which really amounts to nothing more than lazy producing and directing.
Olly Steeds, for his part, does a wonderful and articulate job of telling a story of the City of Gold. But at times, even he falls into the trap of turning the story into some kind of "Ghost Adventures" knock off.
All in all, I found the show unremarkable bordering on migraine inducing.
Mission: Impossible: The Psychic (1967)
Intro contains a humorous scene
During the intro scene, Steven Hill (real name Solomon Krakovsky) drives into an empty drive-in theater to get his mission. His car passes under a marquee which reads:
"Geller and Solomon... Spend the Money..."
I'm guessing this was snuck in to the final print as a joke given that this would be the last episode that Steven Hill would be playing in the series. I'm hoping that someone with some knowledge of the show can add to this. I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it given that Mission Impossible was a very serious show, addressing many of the serious issues of the day.
Blood Diamond (2006)
Movie lost focus - Romance and an unendurable death scene
Sometimes good intentions aren't enough to make for a good movie. It takes good writing, acting and directing as well. "Blood Diamond", with the exception of the acting skills of Djimon Hounsou, was a rare confluence where bad writing, directing and acting produced a foofer.
An unnecessary love relationship between Leonardo DiCaprio, a seasoned diamond smuggler/soldier of fortune and Maddy Bowen, a freelance journalist, does nothing but distract from what might otherwise have been a good story. DiCaprio's never-ending death scene seals the deal. The audience is left wondering why at least 1 hour of the movie didn't end up on the cutting room floor.
The exception is the fine acting of Djimon Hounsou who plays Solomon Vandy, a father whose family has been torn apart by a civil war fueled by an illegal diamond trade. The one bright spot in an otherwise mediocre movie.