cristiananton-70070's Reviews

Deep Fear (2023)

1/10

As a romanian, i can appologize for Ghenea. Not for the rest

30 January 2024

Bad script, bad directing, bad soundtrack, bad pace, awful acting. The CGI of the sharks was the only decent thing in this hard to watch movie.

In fact, it was so bad it becames cringe, painfully to see. They really have no idea what to do and you can see this in every scene of this garbage.

As a SF/horror fan, this film looks like a SyFy production, only worse, because SySy it's bad on purpose, this is bad as a supreme stupidity.

Anyway, as a romanian i can appologize only for the Madalina Ghenea, a female with no acting talent what so ever. And the same charisma as a dead fish. I'm so sorry we gave her to you, no one deserves the pain of seeing Ghenea acting.

For the rest of this trash, it's not my fault. Sometimes, s### just happens.

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The Fall of the House of Usher (2023)

10/10

I love Flanagan, but...

16 December 2023

Warning: Spoilers

I waited 2 months to start Flanagan's last series. He's my favorite, I'm absolutely thrilled with everything he's done so far, I said I'd keep Usher as a reward for waiting so long and hoping he'd thrill me like Midnight Mass or The Haunting of Hill House did.

Then I see 5 gays in the first episode. Statistically and probabilistically, what were the chances that a Poe adaptation would feature 5 gays? How does it improve the atmosphere, the experience, the emotion? How does the story become more intense and true?

It was probably a compromise made by Flanagan for Netflix and the woke dictatorship. It is preferable to offend the good sense of the neutral viewer than to risk the hypothetical invocation of politically correct, which would have defiled your work. Because the neutral viewer is silent, while the awakened one is not.

PS 1: This comment will probably not be accepted. QED

PS 2: I gave this a 10. Because is a Flanagan. And it's great.

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Hellhole (2022)

10/10

Holy Satan, what a movie!

26 October 2022

Very dark, absurd and surreal, heavy and creepy, this film really blows my mind. It's impossible to explain in words, without beeing a spoiler, how good is Hellhole.

There are here some images that you can't unsee and that's great, because this is a good horror film means.

It's one the most satanic movie i ever seen and it succeeds to do this without any boring or even usual cliche. It's just throw it in your face, naturally and without any hate or passion at all. No judging, no reason, no explanation, you just meet him and that's all.

And the genius part is the way how the writer find a perfect place for some hyper realistic kind of humour.

For me, Hellhole it's one the best horror movies of the year.

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Megalodon (2018 TV Movie)

3/10

I feel generous

6 October 2022

Believe me or not, but this is not the worst film i watch today. And after i saw Curse of the Witching Tree, this Megalodon it's a pure masterpiece, worthing at least a couple of Oscar. That's why i feel so generous and give this a solid 3.

After all, this is exactly what it supposed to be. A bad on purpose film, that's why we called them B movie.

Come on now, what would we expect to see from SyFy and Asylum? Entertainment in low standards of artistic quality. They never intended to be taken seriously.

And the shark it's quite realistic. I enjoy this movie and i don't see any reason for you to make the same.

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Curse of the Witching Tree (2015)

1/10

Unreal of stupid

6 October 2022

The real horror here is when you realise they mean this, they were serious when made this garbage.

As a horror movie fan, no! - as a human beeing i swear that is one of the most unreal of stupid thing i ever seen in my entire life.

Some weird gathering of dudes with medical lacks of intelligence succeed into create an abominabile thing, wich they called movie.

Absolutely everything is stupid in this thing. The only reason you may watch this is to say later to your friends you saw one of the most idiotic film ever made.

Some how, i feel now like Jesus. I saw this absolute mess so you don't need to. But i know you won't believe me and it's ok, cause i don't want to be the only one who suffer this. So, enjoy!

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Vampyres (2015)

1/10

Insanely stupid

12 September 2022

I'm proud for watching this film, but only because it's in my Top 3 worst movies i ever seen. By far.

Except the nudity, there is absolutely nothing worthing to watch in this unbelievable waste of basic resources, like time and money, because this is the level we are talking about.

Every person involved in Vampyres could achieve something useful in his life doing absolutely anything else. A good sleep or just staring at a wall are pure gold and a major achievements by comparison with making this movie.

I just laugh and laugh, i know you won't believe me and you will watch it anyway. So, prepare to rumble your personal top worst movies with this gem of stupidity. Enjoy!

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Resident Evil (2022)

1/10

Embarrassing soap opera zombie

11 August 2022

The very, very poor quality of this soap opera with zombies becames even annoying and frustrating when you see how unbelievable stupid is the main caracter Jade.

Her wrong choices not only destroy the whole world around her, but make you swear her. Very bad move from a writer who made such a dumb story.

Anyway, this show is so bad that i will take a break from zombie for a while and that's rough, because i'm a huge fan.

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iZombie (2015–2019)

5/10

Good start, but she is really dumb

12 April 2022

After few episodes, her ignorance, selfish and the outrageous absence of intelligence became just to much to endure.

Liv is annoying, and the fact she put in constant danger, all the time, all her leaving friends and family, with no spark of consciousnness of that, with no judgment at all, with a complete inability to feel and understand she is a lethal danger for the beloved ones- well, all of that It's just frustrating.

And she's not compensate somehow all her lack of everything with some humour. It's just all about her and It's all so superficial that becomes embarassing to watch. Especially, and i repeat, when she is so dumb.

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Ah! The Beautiful Priestesses of Bacchus (1954)

10/10

Good old times, with nudity and burlesque humour

2 January 2022

You got to be such a snob, with a very limited horizont and a shallow mind to make a bad review on this movie.

I feel sorry for those who can't enjoy a film from another world, from 70 years ago, when things were simpler, the laughs were more honestly and even the nudity were more intriguing.

You just have to enjoy it, a rare experience you will remember.

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The Witcher (2019– )

7/10

Nice, but overrated

28 December 2021

I started watching this series from curiosity, despite my principle that i never follow a mass hysteria, like The Witcher, in this case.

And i'm not sorry, it's a nice show, with a pleasant presence of nudity (sorry, IMDB don't let me use the t word... ). The story is too scrambled and became way too complicated, way too soon.

It's not a fairytale, not something to envolve in, nothing to love about it, nothing to remember and dream about it. Honestly, Merlin it's so much better...

But it's ok, enjoyble and somehow catchy. With some nice naked brests, did i mentioned that?

A good show, but, after all, so much overrated.

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Doctor Sleep (2019)

10/10

Another King's masterpiece

9 December 2021

A splendid film. I really don't want to say more, you just must to see it. You will enjoy every minute of it. And the most beautiful thing is that the movie opens the door to the next Shining.

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The Crucifixion (2017)

1/10

Such an embarrissing movie

9 December 2021

As a romanian, a journalist, a non-practicing christian and a horror movies fan as well, this film is absolutely stupid.

An avalanche of embarrissing inadvertences from the beggining to the end, not to mention the weary cliches, so dumb put in scene that make you laugh.

I watched all movie with a huge efort just from curiosity to see how far can the writer go with his pretentious stupidity.

The subject is still generous even if we have hundreds of movies about exorcism. With a little talent everyone can make a decent film about it, but not in this case, for sure.

L. E. The scene when Adelina's sister bring her as food bread and polenta, togheter, with no other food, was the absolute stupidity.

I never seen such a dumb ignorance in my entire life, who made this garbage deserves to eat only bread and polenta for the rest of his life.

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Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016)

6/10

Nice horror, with some good tricks

8 December 2021

A nice horror movie, good as a tasty snack before lunch. Enjoyble for fun with friends, with some interesting scary tricks. It let me the impression that was made for purpouse to seem light, unpretentious, but still decent horror movie.

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Black Summer (2019–2021)

10/10

The best zombi series i've ever seen

26 November 2021

I don't have nothing to complain about this series, except the simply and frustrating fact it was cancelled. Too bad.

The show it's intense, rough, powerful, realistically and disheartening. It's most close to how i imagine would be the world in a zombi apocalipse.

It's all about survival, no matter what. With all humanity values perishing in us while you just run and run and hide and run again. Leaving behind friends, comfort, kindness, hopes and all we know as beeing a human, normal life.

And the way the film was done- excellent work! From acting to landscape and from camera angles to special effects, everything is (almost) perfect.

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Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising (2016)

3/10

Weak movie, zero laughs, prepair to forget it

17 November 2021

I just don't get it, the premise was a good one, the actors are great, the idea is funny, but the result is horrible.

It's simply embarrissing, you don't get a single laugh in what suppose to be a comedy.

Plus, the conclusion is that girls don't know to have fun and they are totally jerks. And especially dumb. Real dumb. The writer must hate them.

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Red Notice (2021)

5/10

A kind of silly Indiana Jones

16 November 2021

I feel generous and i say that this film It's for Indiana Jones what Austin Powers is for James Bond.

Except the fact that It's not a parody with intention, but an easy, silly and sometimes funny movie.

It's watchable and this is the best thing i can say about it.

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The Maus (2017)

1/10

It's a really bad joke, an incredible stupid movie

13 November 2021

It is a mockery of those who suffered in the Bosnian war. The so-called artistic approach to some traumas is in fact a grotesque desecration, of a horrible bad taste.

And that's why the fact that this mess has been awarded before leaves me with a bitter taste.

It's just awfully stupid, an offense to common sense. Those who did it should be forbidden to ever make a film again.

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Nobody Sleeps in the Woods Tonight 2 (2021)

8/10

Beautiful, weird, gore and funny movie

28 October 2021

One the Best horror movie seen this year. Much better than first, for sure.

I create an account on imdb just for rate and discuss about this movie, so you can imagine how much i liked it.

It's just weird, a bizarre film who succeed not to became stupid or pathetic, but a good, smart and funny horror tale.

Maybe a little too slow and perhaps the main character, the beginner officer, should be more charismatic.

Otherwise, it's a surprinsingly good movie, with a great music, very nice effects and a story developed in a way that make you understand you should not take this too serious. It's just a horror film. A very good one.

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