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Housewife (2017)
Terrible.
Half baked and poorly written. Nothing is explained so there is no way to engage with the material, its all just happening with a vague understanding of 'oh this is supposed to be bad'. There are callbacks to things that happened in the beginning, but those things were never really explained in any way, so you don't know what they are to begin with or if they are bad or good or what, and you come to the end of the movie with no real understanding of what you just watched, but some semblance of who I suppose is Cthulhu is there, so you know it was a super spooky time. Don't waste your time, you'll be disappointed.
The Last Broadcast (1998)
Sorry, but thumbs down.
Someone made a comment saying that people who enjoyed the blair witch could be nothing more than bubble gum chewing airheads with no clue about cinema. Well, I enjoyed BWP and am nothing of the sort.
It seems to me that if The Last Broadcast were the one to have been the blockbuster, all of the people praising it would be fans of BWP. The movie it's self is interesting, convincing, sure. But... it doesn't deliver. No, adding the jersey devil would not have helped it either, that would only make the ending worse than it already was. I am more than willing to make concessions for budget restraints, but that doesn't make up for the script. I enjoyed it until we got to the twist. I hate "twists". It's like the story isn't good enough and you need to come from left field to save that. Twists can work, but they aren't clever and they don't garner respect from me.
Also, this movie wasn't scary. No, don't try to say that it is, and if it kept you up late at night... The Ring must have given you a heart attack. Don't present questions that are nothing more plot holes and present them as if the director was so incredibly clever. This movie is a sham, it wishes it could have achieved the subtleties and success of BWP. I went into BWP knowing it was fake and it still managed to freak the hell out of me, The only movie that has ever scared me that badly... (well other than Exit to Eden, but who wants to see Rosie O'Donnell in bondage gear anyway?). The atmosphere and the psychological deterioration of the characters is compelling, the little things in the movie give it more life than anything in TLB could. Also considering the method that was used to make BWP, that gives it a lot more credibility. There is no converting fanatics, so I won't even bother, but if you are insistent upon seeing this, wait until it's on IFC again.
Spaceman (1997)
oh the humanity...
this movie was...horrible. just painful to watch, i'm amazed that i actually sat through the whole thing without clawing my eyes out. I'm all for silliness and aliens and kung fu, but...this just didn't work, it was a halfbaked plot that was horribly acted and just sad...really sad, i don't even want to imagine the pitch this movie had. how any studio or anyone could actually consider this script is just...beyond me. I fear many brain cells have been killed watching this movie, the humor is too narrow, it would only appeal to a certain sort of people and thankfully that type of person is few and far between. The jokes got old and the plot was contrived the acting mediocre, and my god half of the movie wasn't even imperitive, just a lot of filler time. but the last scene with the ninja was amusing...till they started talking again.