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chemor
Reviews
Five Star (2014)
Boring af
This movie was terrible. Plain and simple. Yeah it had a plot, but there was no real build up, suspense, or sense of satisfaction once everything was figured out. It just followed the lives of these two dudes as they meander through every stereotypical activity you can think of when you think gang life. And Primo lives what has to be the WORST existence any gangbanger has ever had. Then everything that has anything to do with a story seems to be crammed in as an afterthought. Like "Oh yeah guys, we got this mystery to solve and um... 5 minutes left. GO!"
Still a better love story than Twilight though.
Vendetta (2015)
Two words will tell you how bad this movie is.
Wilhelm Scream. You know the one. It's been in movies since the days of black and white westerns. It's the same scream ol' Captain Wilhelm belted out when his leg was impaled by an Apache arrow. Sadly you have to wait almost 2 hours to hear it, but when you do you'll stop everything else to watch as a guy does a horizontal 720 from a barely landed weak hand punch. Pathetic.
Seriously, worst scene in the movie; when a "hardened", veteran cop continues to fire his gun after the slide has locked in place, then looks at it like "oh, that's why it won't shoot.". Terrible. Just terrible.
Pain & Gain (2013)
Not what I thought it would be
If you're like me and saw Dewayne and Mark and thought this would be a good action flick, you're going to have a bad time. It says based on a true story. If that's so, the fact that these three morons even know how to breathe without having to think about it is proof of miracles. Even amateurs should have the common sense to avoid some of the B.S. that the guys this movie was adapted from tried to pull off. I'm not really sure if the premise was to not take themselves seriously, or if the impromptu way of pulling off their crimes was just happenstance but whatever the case may be, even a 10 year old would do a better job. Don't waste your time like I did. I can't even fathom how the producer thought this would make a good story. Half way through it we were all rooting for the cops to come and end the movie early. I would like this time credited back to my life please.