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Reviews
The Creeping Terror (1964)
You will believe that a carpet can creep!
What more can I say. This movie is terrible. And yet that's what makes it worth seeing. It is a laughable kind of terrible. Unlike "Hobgoblins" or "The Girl In Gold Boots", this is one of the few MST3K movies that I could actually enjoy without the help of Mike and the robots. From the random narrated pitches against bachelorhood to the random narration PERIOD this movie stands as a classic. . . . . . . . . . . OF BAD FILMMAKING!!! You just have to see it to believe it.
Gangs of New York (2002)
Unbearable
3 hours of crap.
Point blank this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Keep in mind that I only say this because this movie should be good. (Decent actors, big budget, Scoresese, etc.)
Instead this movie just falls flat on its 3 hour face. This movie is almost as bad as "Waterworld". I think this movie could have easily cut out 60 minutes. (It would still be bad but at least not the kind of bad that makes you want to run off the nearest sufficiently high place, all the while screaming curses that would make a sailor blush.)
If you have been waiting all your life for a movie that could combine insulting predictability with the length of "Pearl Harbor" then this is the movie for you.
The Santa Clause 2 (2002)
completely missable
the premise of this family christmas 'comedy' is that Santa Claus (Tim Allen) must find a woman who is willing to be Mrs. Claus.
It is fairly predictable and almost insulting to watch. which in my opinion makes it right on par with "The Santa Clause". (or anything else Tim Allen has done for that matter.) Consider some of the examples of the type of humor contained in the movie 1)a reindeer who farts after eating too much and 2) the ever classic standby: running into stuff while flying.
Pardon me if i don't laugh but this is one movie worth passing up.
for a family movie it is average (entertaining for kids and mildly amusing at best for adults) but as a movie it is pretty bad.
i gave this one a 3 out of 10.
Lola rennt (1998)
I didn't really care if Lola saved her boyfriend or not
I think this is a good one-time movie but certainly not top 250 caliber.
Allow me to explain:
We, the audience, are suddenly plunged into Lola's plight almost immediately. Although this provides for an exciting and fast-paced movie, it does NOT help me identify with the characters. Throughout the movie I felt stuck on the outside looking in on some random girl running around.
Some of the shots are very artistic and the plot, though nothing extraordinary, is conveyed in a way that is unique and stylish. I would even go as far to say that "Run, Lola, Run" explores some issues that are quite complex. For example, how slight modifications in chance events can shape the future. But such issues are merely a side note in the movie and not the driving force.
So see it but don't expect it to be #93 out of your top 250 list. Oh, and be sure to bring popcorn, and be sure to eat it quick 'cuz the movie won't last long!
She's All That (1999)
Pretty Bad
Formulaic Recipe gone bad!
This movie has all of the elements of an average teen high school flick. The popular group, the unpopular group, the 'controversial' mixing of the popular group and the unpopular group. Yet somehow this movie is definitely below average. The bright spot of the movie is Kevin Pollak who plays La-Ney's practical, dim-witted father. Also the cheesy art spectacle near the beginning is ok and La-Ney's friend (?) Elden Henson gives the audience a fresh comic break from what is an otherwise predictable and unfulfilling plot.
The main problem with the movie is not that it is filled with cliches. Rather that some of the cliches just do NOT make any sense within the scope of the movie. A good example is the subplot of the conflict between Zach Siler and his father. It just is something extra that adds nothing to the main plotline of the movie. Then in the end when Zach graduates he is naked. What does any of this have to do with the movie? He already got the girl so what does it matter if we even see him graduating or not? In this movie it was entirely unnecessary. The movie should have just ended with Zack and La-ney kissing or something like that.
I don't know it just seemed to me as though this movie started out ok and then went on a downward spiral.
The Ring (2002)
did any one else think this movie was average?
I saw this movie the night after Halloween and couldn't help but laugh every time i heard the screams of my fellow movie goers. (which happened to be about every ten minutes)
This film has lots of good things going for it. It is scary enough in unique ways although of course it relies on the conventional "scary methods" as well. And since I am from Seattle I am biased in that respect as well.
The main problem I had with the movie is that it doesn't really make sense. AND I happened to watch "Psycho" the night before and i noticed that "The Ring" contains a shot where water is going down the drain and the shot is almost an exact duplicate of a similar shot in "Psycho" after Janet Leigh is murdered.
My advice: If you are a guy, watch this movie with a girl.
The Unearthly (1957)
Surprisingly ok for a Mystery Science Theatre Movie
Surprisingly ok for a Mystery Science Theatre Movie. I have seen much worse. And the MST version was not really all that funny either although the shorts at the beginning make it worth seeing. ("Posture Pals" and "Appreciating Our Parents")