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PAULO-TEIXEIRA-1977
Of course I also like a good comedy, an explosive action movie, an adventure, a well written sci-fi or drama.
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Si no t'hagués conegut (2018)
ONE OF THE GRANDEST PLOTS IN YEARS!
In a short resumed review, If I Hadn't Met You is probably the most original and well written love story in years! Without spoiling the argument or the mystery around it, this series has everything to get 10 stars: great actors and story, as usual in spanish movies, top notch dialogues, lots of important details, high doses of heart-breaking moments and a soundtrack that keeps you balanced with all this.
In one word, a masterpiece made up of drama and sci-fi contents, all geniously paced by the right time and space. It's impossible not to love this series, impossible not to cry before its grandness, impossible not to admit how brilliant it is! An absolute must-see!
Toc Toc (2017)
ONE OF THE FUNNIEST AND INGENIOUS MOVIES EVER!
Gonna be short and straight: this is, definitely, one of the most funniest and ingenious comedies in the last 10 years. Simply brilliant movie with lots of laughs and good mood guaranteed.
Playing with known "psycho disorders" in a very respectful manner (but, however, funny), director Vicente Villanueva has made a mark in the comedy genre that few other directors have. TOC TOC is made of great actings, clever dialogues, amazingly well achieved sense of humour and lots of laughs all along! This is the kind of movie that makes you glad for every second spent and each cent paid. Totally recommended if you're looking for a GREAT time. No need of popcorn; they would be a dangerous extra when you can't control your laugh!
Bajo la Rosa (2017)
And the winner is... SPAIN!
Spanish directors have given a huge leap in the past 10/15 years in regards to movies, especially the Thriller genre. Hollywood has a steady rival in Spainwood!
Great photography, simple but extremely original and well developed plots, excellent actings and absolute tense moments make this, along with several other Spanish thrillers, a great and pleasurable movie to watch.
Not advancing much of the story, a family's daughter disappears and a stranger seems to be the lead to bring her home. However, things won't be as easy as they seem, and a lot of uncomfortable moments will pop out like popcorn, one after another. Yes! This movie intends to be uncomfortably macabre; on purpose. And while we'd swear never to agree with the scenes before us, we'd never knew we'd be so close to aprove them in the end! Worth a try for thriller lovers.
Escape Room (2019)
HILARIOUSLY BAD
I don't want to conflict with other members' reviews by saying that those who rated this movie above 2 stars are certainly not used to watch a good movie, but this movie in particular is pretty bad in all senses.
Characterization is total rubbish; actors not good; dialogues lack logic, interest or intelligence; entertainment is a total failure.
There's no way this movie could ever been rated over 2 stars by evident lack of overall quality. This is not scary, not funny, not dramatic, not acceptable. This is a waste of time and a total mess all the way.
If you're uncertain of the ridiculousness of this movie, just try watching it for 15 minutes and I'm sure you'll be turning your TV off immediately after. Do you dare to waste your time?
Juego siniestro (2016)
BAD ALL THE WAY
Surprisingly enough, this horror movie didn't make it to the top like many other Spanish horror titles do. Bad acting, characterisation and plot make it a painful popcorn-time from the very beginning.
Spanish movies are normally awesome in all senses (photography, story, actors, twists, etc), but this one really fails to bright in all these departments.
If you wish to try really good Spanish movies, go for THE BODY (EL CUERPO), THE INVISIBLE GUEST (CONTRATIEMPO), SLEEP TIGHT (MIENTRAS DUERMES) or even REC, just to mention a few. Juego Siniestro is not a good way to start.
Alien: Covenant (2017)
Amazing disaster!!
Let me see if I can find the best way to tell you how much I hated this movie. Yes, unfortunately, I hated it.
When I first saw Prometheus, I immediately liked the idea behind it. Classic mankind questions were brought into the movie and created a whole new horizon in the Aliens franchise world. Questions like "WHO ARE WE?", "WHERE DO WE COME FROM?" or "WHY DID OUR ENGINEERS TRIED TO KILL US?" made Prometheus a great movie in a different way that made us anxiously wait for a sequel. A sequel that supposedly would answer all these questions; a sequel that promised to explain us all the origins of Mankind and the Aliens... I WAS WRONG! VERY WRONG!!
Alien Covenant turned to be a fake promise and did not answer any questions raised in its predecessor, Prometheus. Truth is, Alien Covenant just ruined it all: Prometheus story and the entire Aliens franchise!
Now you're probably asking yourself: is this guy (me) nuts? Why the hell is he (me) saying all this? Well, my friends, even being a great fan of the Aliens (apart from Alien 4 and Alien vs Predator movies), I can't agree with the mess Mr. Ridley Scott did with Alien Covenant. Let's go to the facts:
(CHARACTERS)
Characters in Prometheus were not the best. They lacked personality, attitude and empathy with the audience, even if acting was GOOD, especially Michael Fassbender. In Alien Covenant, as far as anyone can see, characters are even worse! They simply exist to die, with no meaning at all. No intelligence, no interest, nothing! Acting was equally BAD, apart from Michael Fassbender, again!
(REALISM)
In Prometheus we have seen at least one main stupid scene that in real life would NEVER happen: a fascinated scientist that got in direct touch with alien life with no apparent reason or care. In Alien Covenant, Mr. Ridley Scott kept thinking we all LIKED that a lot and populated the entire movie with unrealistic scenes! NO, Mr. Scott! We didn't like or approve your decisions on adding nonsense to this movie! Here's why:
1) As much as an alien planet would look like Earth, no one would ever land on it and explore it without an appropriate suit and EXTREME care and attention! THAT WOULDN'T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE!
2) No person with a brain would ever stayed inside the same room of an ill person that seemed to be infected by an unknown origin. Much less would a normal person touch the other one with evident signs of "mutation" and bleeding after that. NO, Mr. SCOTT! THIS ISN'T VERY REAL!
3) What kind of crew was in the ship, after all? They were supposed to be the BEST among the BEST. They carry 2000 human embryos to be taken to a planet that was long surveyed and studied. THEY should be a RESPONSIBLE crew. BUT they are NOT! The captain simply decides to investigate another Earth-like planet that seems to be sending "strange" signal messages, discarding the long studied planet that they were heading to just because the crew of the ship doesn't want to spend 7 years in their sleep capsules. THIS ISN'T ALSO REAL, MR. SCOTT! A Captain should be a WELL TRAINED person, prepared to make the best decisions in the most aggressive and stressing moments.
4) Who in its normal state would make love in a shower knowing that a new life form was roaming free inside the ship? What the heck is that, Mr. Scott? There's an alien in the ship and you tell your movie characters to make love in a shower like if the life form was just a simple fly? THIS IS NOT REALISM!!!
I could simply go on and tell you Alien fans more and more of these aberrations, but I'd just make myself BORING! All that matters about Alien Covenant is that it has no realism; everything seems so stupid to the point we wanna give up seeing the movie!!
(SPECIAL FX)
Special effects on Alien Covenant are fairly decent, but not as great as in Prometheus. Some sequences, however, are a bit confusing to the eye and do not help fans to like them.
(STORY)
Alien Covenant has no story. Period. Yes, I'm serious! NO story at all. It's a bad mix of Prometheus with Alien and Aliens. The result? A miscellaneous SOUP of grotesque TASTE, awful SMELL and POISONOUS consequences!
Ridley Scott had the opportunity to make Prometheus even bigger than what it was, even more marvelous than what it became. But no. He did something much worse than giving no story to Alien Covenant: he KILLED the original Alien story and the entire franchise!
(LACK OF OPPORTUNITY)
Ridley Scott had the opportunity of his life: do his best to make a GRAND Alien movie for the generations to come. Being the father of Alien, he could have done so much for Alien Covenant. He could have made it a reference (for the difference) in the Alien franchise. BUT he didn't. He shot his own son and spitted on his fans!!
In summary, Alien Covenant is the WORST of the Aliens. It didn't ruin itself alone; it ruined all Aliens (the good ones and the bad ones). Even with a great photography, Alien Covenant is a movie without a soul, empty in all senses, doesn't answer any questions made in Prometheus and dares to destroy the whole Alien concept. It's sad, my dear reader. Sad but true. I'm disappointed. And I'm gonna forget that Alien Covenant ever exists. To me, Prometheus deserved a SERIOUS and REALISTIC sequel, but only got a twisted shadow of what an Aliens movie should be!
Giving Alien Covenant more than 3 points out of 10 is pure madness!
After Earth (2013)
AGAIN, another M. Night Shayamalan bad movie!
I just can't believe I went to see this movie after all M. Night Shayamalan's bad movies I've seen before. In fact, there is no excuse for me for allowing myself to try out another title from this director.
In just one word, After Earth is BAD! I'm sorry, two words: REALLY BAD!
BAD story, bad plot, bad atmosphere, bad actings, bad entertainment, bad special effects, bad... that's enough already. All bad. Period.
The story goes around a space ship that crash-lands on a planet called Earth (how original, hum?). Then, the two main characters need to get out of it. Plain as this. There is no real action, no real suspense, no real tension, no real originality, no real fun, no real entertainment, nothing! It's like a bad computer game which main objective is to go from point A to point B and, along the path, you only find extremely linear choices and gameplay.
Will Smith has shown real proof of his bad story writing capabilities. M. Night Shayamalan, once again, for the whatever(th) time, has also given proof of his BAD directing skills. After Earth is another title to be placed in the same shelf as "Lady in the water", "The Happening", "Devil" and so on. What I just can't understand is why people like me (lol) still have hope that Shayamalan can direct a good movie. That will never happen!
As my last words on this review, PLEASE don't expect this movie to be a good one or you'll end up frustrated. Don't hope it to be worth a try because it simply isn't!
The Thing (2011)
A great prequel of a great movie!!
Carpenter did a great job back in 1982. The Thing was a brilliant sci-fi movie that captured the audience for its originality, suspense and creepy moments. Not a lot of special effects back then, but the resources used were very convincing. The Thing was different, really remarkable and I confess that when I heard that a new movie was available I didn't get too impressed.
However, The Thing 2011 was pretty original and instead of "redoing" everything all over again, it went the "other" way! This movie didn't limit itself to copy the "cells" of the original Carpenter's movie; it kinda surprisingly showed itself as a fairly original prequel! Good? Yes, good enough.
The Thing 2011 ends exactly where 1982 The Thing started and the director of the movie just "created" his own version of all facts that happened in 1982's The Thing that we didn't know about or saw in the original Carpenter's movie. I'm not going to spoil anything by telling you what goes on, but everyone that has seen 1982's The Thing movie should not miss this one! Despite the fact that many users here are saying this is a bad title, I still think it's fairly well done in many aspects! Not as visceral as the original, even with great CGI, but, even so, very nice to watch.
Noroi (2005)
Noroi - The sad and boring story of a demon!
Hello, i will not get too long on my review, as Noroi has not much to talk about. Raw and straight, this was not a very interesting movie to watch; it is boring all along, unoriginal and definitely not SCARY (as many other reviewers just stated BOLDLY in here).
Believe me, I have watched many scary movies of the same category, some bad, others great. Just to mention a few good ones, REC is in my top list, followed by REC 2 and CLOVERFIELD. On the dark list are BLAIR WITCH (actually a lot more scarier than Noroi), Diary of the Dead and, of course, NOROI.
Honestly, the movie has some good moments, nice camera angles, but the fact is that it leaves so many loose ends from the start to the end that it becomes BORING. And yes, the story is not even close to ORIGINAL. I have heard of so many curse stories... Noroi didn't take the "theme" too high, though.
In my opinion, save 2 hours of your precious time and watch REC or CLOVERFIELD instead. You'll get entertained a lot more! I was expecting a good movie, but in fact all I found was another "live camera" movie with no new aspects. 4 stars out of 10.
A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)
A beautifully well done masterpiece
I don't know how to start talking about this movie. In fact, it is so beautifully conceived and directed hat it becomes a lot difficult for me to follow an oriented and logical way to describe how deeply it touched me.
A.I. starts greatly by focusing the very best of human beings. It also touches mankind's biggest enigma with a supreme sense of knowledge, as if Steven Spielberg was the Life and Death God itself. The story opens softly in a time where computers were part of the past and machines are technologically advanced "beings". A time of changes, evolutions, discoveries and, best of all, reproductions. An era in which every men and women no longer know loneliness, lack of sex, partnership or even the word NO. It was a time of Artificiality.
But when a mother almost looses her child due to a disease, her husband gets her a temporary substitute for the the hole that consumes her during the time her own child is in the hospital: a technologically advanced robot that would be a perfect substitute of her son in every department, except one: the feelings.
In summary, Steven Spielberg takes us to a sci-fi fantasy world, where machines are almost as important as humans. A world full of dramas (cold and raw) but beautiful and touching. In fact I will not advance a lot more about this movie, as I'm sure I'd spoil it. However, let me say it is a "lesson" to all of us (or at least to all those of us who have a heart). A.I. is masterpiece. A movie that surely can touch everyone's feelings. Curiously, it reminds me of a LucasArts' game (written by Spielberg based on a story by Sean Clark) - The Dig, where it explores the boundaries of the human life, memories and alien life. Whoever played that game in 1995 knows what I'm talking about. Undoubtedly, one of my favorite flicks from Steven Spielberg!
The Happening (2008)
Oh, no! This is not happening!
Well folks,
I don't know exactly how to start talking about The Happening. In fact, I don't even know if I should start writing about something so BAD. However, I guess I'm gonna do it, just to let you know how wrong I was when I thought I'd enjoy it.
I really don't know what is HAPPENING with director M. Night Shayamalan these last years, but he definitely seems to be messing around with audiences or, if not, proving us all how urgently he needs to improve his writing/directing skills. I can recall "THE VILLAGE" and "THE LADY OF THE WATER" which, in my opinion, were ENTIRELY GARBAGE. And now comes another rubbish masterpiece, with a new "label" and nice presentation, but with the same hollow plot as the past ones.
In the beginning, The Happening seemed somehow promising, but in the very next minutes I noticed something wrong about it. The characters were empty, boring, unstyled and raw. Actings were unnatural, theatrical and very, very poor. Filming sequences were also too bad, giving me a perfect feeling of a low budget movie done just to bring easy money from all those out there who normally love a little bit of nonsense mystery or suspense.
Finally, in regards to the story, I think that The Happening is also pretty bad. In fact, I risk myself to say that this movie has no story at all. Shayamalan has just lead us (and probably himself too) to a promising story with no end or pre-thought sequences, resulting in a very random plot with stupid scenes, characters and inconsistencies.
If I had to describe this movie in a very short sentence, I'd say it is BAD, AMATEUR-LIKE and BORING. During the play time I was always hoping to see the credits part, but the movie kept going on to massacre me.
Anyway, now one thing is certain from now on: I won't see another Shayamalan's movie for the next 100 years! That's for sure!
Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)
A handful of Gothic hysteria
Blair Witch Project was, in my opinion, a disaster movie. It had an excellent idea but it didn't really work at all. And, probably because of that, the sequel is called Book of Shadows - BW2, what I think it was a way to hide, in some way, the original's title, so the public could be induced to see this second part!
This time, Blair Witch 2 opens mysteriously, surrounded with a Gothic-scary style, along with Marylin Manson's music as background. All starts with a group of friends going out in search of the wicked woods where the first film was done, in search of the Blair Witch. More cautious and aware of what happened before, the group carries some cameras and tapes to record any unusual events. They set up the cameras in strategic places so every movement could be filmed. As the time waiting for something to happen passes, our "heroes" become tired and bored. One starts smoking, the other drinking vodka and then... everything ends in "paradise-like" atmosphere of drugs and unconsciousness. When they all wake up, they find their research works completely destroyed, along with the cameras. Funny enough, the tapes are not broken... only missing! Strangely, one of the group members locates the tapes, what makes things a bit more strange and bizarre. In any case, they all decide to take the tapes to one of the members' studio, to process the images inside and answer all their questions about what happened at the site! Although, for their amusement, the tapes reveal something unexpected... something dark, bizarre and evil! Everyone recalls nothings of what happened during their drugged sleep, but there is something very wrong with them all! What happened to them seems to have been recorded differently than reality itself! Voices in the tapes are strange, as if recorded as a wrong "version". The members start to doubt their own sanity and point evidences to each other. Their reactions are violent and insane. What the hell is happening and what will come next?! That is what you have to find out if you don't get paranoid before!
The movie is done carefully, with a morbid-like atmosphere and dense musical scores. The appeal to the Gothic style is present all along and the crazy mind of the director will make you doubt your own reality! Blair Witch 2 is far better than the first one (fortunately!), and will dive you into a dark minded world of witchcraft, insanity and twisted dreams (or reality?!). In summary, a well done movie, with excellent sound effects, interesting story, nice acting and very confusing elements.
If you have already seen the movie and think you understood the end, then you should maybe think twice about that! If you haven't seen it yet, then remember that it will probably make you brain aches. So, before you go insane, you should think twice before you enter the cinema room! Make sure you can handle it.
eXistenZ (1999)
A question of eXistenZ
Known for his great capacity to develop crazy cinema works, David Cronenberg is responsible for titles such as "The Fly", "Videodrome" and others. This time, from his weird and darkly prolific mind, comes a completely twisted version of a computed reality. Allegra Galler is a professional computer game designer, working for a huge company - Antenna Research. Her latest advanced software was named Existenz, probably because it allows the player to have total freedom INSIDE the game! So it was time to publish it, and nothing better to make it sell than a real demonstration of it in front of the public, and so it is done! However, to play Existenz, a Bioport is required. And you ask me "What the hell is a Bioport anyway?". Well, have you ever heard of a hole in the base of your spine? No? Me neither, until I knew this wicked game! Only Antenna is legally authorized to implant a Bioport in every player who wants to be "upgraded" with the new invented interface, linking a person's body to the game and giving anyone a better and more realistic playability!
In the presentation of Existenz, a few people have been selected to try the game and play it for the first time, along with the critically acclaimed Allegra Galler itself! And that's right here that the movie really starts, diving us into a strange world of a new reality, similar to a dream inside another dream! Confunsing? If you think so, wait until you see the movie! Inside the game the player can do everything in mind talk to characters, kill them, pick up objects, use them and lots of other things. However, as the game goes far and far, we start doubting reality itself, since lots of apparently nonsense begin to happen. Is all this just a game, or is this a dream about an unreal game? Something is wrong with Existenz. Can it be a game bug or are the players true assassins and crazy characters forever lost inside a stupid software? - This was the idea David Cronenberg wanted to give us. A truly confusing and twisted vision of how dangerous can a computer game be. The film constantly takes us back to "reality" every time the game is paused, but by the way... where is the game, the REAL life and time? Creepy, isn't it? Now add some computed character representations and you'll then doubt of everything else!
In my opinion, this is another disturbing cinematographic creation, with a fantastic resemblance to the characteristics of a computer game. The movie ends apparently in a normal way, but is it a real Game Over, or just the start of a New Game? - If you're interested in a weird ride to a computer game world, then give this film a try. Otherwise, forget it to avoid serious brain damages!