Reviews

Arnold stars in what would become one of the best sci fi action movies of all time. The movie begins with a shot of space and small craft jettisoning a pod to earth. Flash to a small base somewhere in Central America, a helicopter arrives with a group of soldiers for a mission. Their leader "Dutch" (Arnold) is briefed on the mission by Dillon CIA (Weathers) and General Phillips (Armstrong), that a cabinet minister went down in hostile territory. Just for fact it's the fictional country of Val Verde, not Guatemala. Dutch smells trouble but has to go along and then we meet the characters on the helicopter ride. Blain (Ventura) packing a mini gun, Poncho (Chavez) special grenade launcher, Billy (Landham), Mac (Duke), Hawkins (Black), all with distinct personalities and weapons. Billy picks up the trail, Dutch is suspicious and more so when they come across Green Berets he knows, who have been killed, skinned and strung up. They take out the commie guerrilla base, and take a female guerrilla Anna (Carrillo) captive. Dutch finds out Dillon double crossed them to do the mission, time to go home right? Wrong. Soon one by one his men are picked off with seemingly no enemy to fight back at and weapons never seen before. Eventually they make a stand against what seems to be something not of this world. After his men are killed, Dutch virtually unarmed makes run for the jungle telling Anna to run and "Get to the choppa!" Dutch by accident learns the creature can't see him while covered in mud. Using this to his advantage he fortifies grounds for a final showdown. After a lengthy fight Dutch is forced into a hand to hand fight, which becomes a route. Beaten to a pulp he crawls to his main trap. The Predator smells it and thinks he out smarted him only to have Dutch kick the trap and smash the Predator with a massive log, immobilizing him. Dutch gets up and is going to lay a rock to his skull, but just asks "What the hell are you?" The Predator repeats it, then reaches for his wrist sets a bomb and starts laughing. Dutch gets the, message and runs for his life before a small nuclear explosion takes out the area. Standing tall at the end, ravaged by battle he is picked up by Phillips and Anna and taken off into the sunset.

This is my favorite Arnold film and basically the perfect male flick. There's virtually nothing in this film a female could like. The only one in the film is there for some info and nothing more. No nudity, senseless character development, or any garbage to slow it down. You get a little here and there on some and that's it, we don't need to here about the characters stupid kids on weekends, short and sweet, no nonsense. Recent films bog down in character development.

Where the movie really shines, is probably the cast. Its one of those films that's just perfect. It happens rarely but there are some. Arnold, need I say more? He is the ultimate leader from the start arm wrestling with another great Carl Weathers. No skinny boys from new films, these are guys you actually believe could kick ass. Other greats, Jesse Ventura, Bill Duke, Sonny Landham, Richard Chaves and even Shane Black, the smallest guy manages to be good, just on his stupid jokes. Even if you hated the film, you remember the guy telling the gross jokes. Arnold is needed to take on 7 ft tall Kevin Peter Hall (RIP) who, in costume made Arnold look mortal. It just doesn't work having a guy who can't match up to a big guy, see "Predators", an obvious miscast.

The characters are another strong point. Almost all have a unique weapon and personality. This helps you to remember them. The obvious one is Blain carrying around the mini gun, pointless yes, but in a comic book type film it works. He chews tobacco, curses and just wants to slaughter the enemy. Some of those classic lines "I ain't got time to bleed" are his people. Dutch all business and bicep's, Dillon devious, Billy spiritual, Poncho underrated toughest to the end, Mac loyal friend looking for revenge and Hawkins the comedic guy. But the other star is the Predator itself. Thanks to the great Stan Winston (RIP) who created this creature that has become an icon of sci fi fans everywhere. With KPH's performance it just jelled perfectly and became a classic. This movie does contain lots of memorable one liners from many of the characters that also makes it great. You can't put these in other films and expect them to work, this is why this is a classic. You get bits a pieces of what the creature is that is flushed out more in Predator 2.

As far and direction and special effects, it all works. John McTiernan takes the cast and delivers a solid action flick as he would with another classic Die Hard. Stan Winston's creation probably delivers the film in then end. The original design was bad, so call in Stan to save the day. The obvious active camouflage has become a staple of the predator series along with the heat vision that the predator sees in. All work out while keeping the enemy basically hidden till the end.

The Special DVD has plenty of stuff behind the scenes, effects, interviews and commentary that should not be missed by any fan. I've been watching this since being a kid in the 80's, overall a big 10 out of 10 for one of Arnold's greatest films and top 80's action flick. Followed by a worthy sequel Predator 2, anyone who remakes this should be hunted.

Once again the tale of Robin Hood is told, but this time with a more modern Hollywood feel and twist that is mostly unwanted. We start out in Jerusalem, where Robin Hood (Costner) has been imprisoned by Muslims and is more or less awaiting death as other holy warriors are murdered by the infidels. Robin gets free and frees a "Moor" (Freeman) rather than fellow Christians begging him and they escape with a big goofy sword. Azeem now has to honor the fact that Robin saved his life, so he tags along. I know it is just as silly as it sounds. They eventual make it to England where Robin finds out that the Sheriff of Nottingham (Rickman) has been plotting to take over from Richard I "The Lion Heart." Hmm what happened to Prince John? He's killed Robin's father and taken his estates. Robin meets Marian (Mastrantonio), they talk and he takes to the forest to escape the Sheriff's men. There he meets what will become the merry men, anything but it in this film. He duels with Little John (Brimble), beats him, earns the respect of the men, being a noble who has sunk to their level and defies the Sheriff. Only one seems to have a problem, Will Scarlett (Slater), who does nothing, but insult and complain about him. Later we find out why and it's stupid. They begin to rob the rich, eventually meeting Friar Tuck (McShane). Who turns out to be nothing but a fowl, bumbling drunk and a forgettable character. Eventually their enclave is attacked by "Celts from the north" hired by the Sheriff to get them. The commune is destroyed and many of them are taken prisoner. Will says he'll turn traitor, he goes back, fails and tells why he is so bitter. Robin you're my half brother! It gets worse when they start hugging and Robin realizes he has a brother. Will reveals that Marion is to marry the sheriff so he gets into the royal lineage (wouldn't work) and now they must stop it. They go off, save mostly kids before they are hanged and Robin Hood fights the sheriff to the death. Robin then gets married just in time for King Richard (Connery) to see the wedding, even though he never returned from the holly land, he died in France.

I don't think this a terrible film, but it's not great. The modern version is much more violent a crude than most versions before this. So that gives it a tad more realistic feel than some of the others, but it's also rather unnecessary in many areas. For one, did we really need to see the Sheriff attempt to rape Marion in a semi "comical" scene near the end? Making the battle scenes more real I think is a plus as long as it's aimed at an older audience and not kids, as Robin Hood has for a long time has been a kid's favorite.

Without a doubt the dumbest thing in the film is the edition of a Muslim "Moor" parading around with Robin in Medieval England. This is laughable and does not belong in the Robin Hood story. The only evidence of black Africans in England was what may have been left over from Roman slavery and blacks of Muslim faith brought back as slaves from the crusades, nothing more. Just for the fact that he is a Muslim makes it even worse, he probably would have been killed off or enslaved. The "moor" is shown as being brilliant in all things, war, technology and of course medicine. Much of it is utter nonsense, a telescope that did not exist and the use of gunpowder not yet used by Islam. And of course the English are all dumb, filthy dirty. What no one knows how to deliver a baby but this guy? The scene shouldn't have been the film anyway. The "dark ages" have much myth about them and liberal Hollywood only helps to fuel the nonsense. And why was Robin playing around what was obviously the remnants of Hadrian's Wall in southern England? Or even better why bloodthirsty Celts were fighting a tad out of time?

The acting and script are nothing special. Many talk about Costner's acting, I don't think its great but what he does seems to work. And although I think the Moor character is unnecessary, Freeman as always does a great job. Rickman is the standout by far as the sheriff. I think he really comes as across as the slimy opponent of Robin. Slater seems to be just phoning it in. Probably the worst is Friar Tuck. Tuck the character is so poorly made in this film it is painful to watch. As some have stated I'm not sure Mastrantonio is the ideal Marion. She's nice looking, but she doesn't come across as being an English girl of beauty. The locations are very well done, definitely some of the brighter spots in the film. From small castles to the English country in general it does give a good feel. However it's a largely forgettable film that only gets 4 and half out 10 stars.

This is another adaptation of the HG Wells book of the same title. The movie starts out with a single father Ray Ferrier (Cruise) getting off work to meet his ex wife who's bringing him the kids for the weekend. We see right away there are family problems, annoying young girl Rachel (Fanning) and her older defiant teenage brother Robbie (Chatwin) who both, have their differences with him. The ex goes with her hubby to Boston, who cares right, but it comes into play later. In the meantime while around the house the TV keeps showing the news about EMP bursts that have disabled things around the globe. Not long after a "storm" hits New Jersey, lightning strikes a spot and from which emerges a walking machine of some sort. The machines are "tripods" that have tentacles and death rays, from which they start to obliterate people on the spot. If the ray hits you, you are basically turned to ashes (Spielberg had to reference the "bad" atomic bomb dropping in there huh?) So Ray takes his kids, who are complaining the whole time with some supplies and a hand gun. Spielberg won't allow him to use it right. They find a van that works and make their way to Boston, while dodging the alien onslaught. The van is eventually taken by a hostile crowd, Ray attempts to use the gun, but another is pointed at him, he loses the van, but some other guy kills the thief with his gun. Eventually the military gets manhandled (laughable) by the aliens and the family takes refuge in an old farmhouse with some crazy guy Harlan (Robbins). In another reference to the 50' film, they are stuck in the farm house with the tripods camped overhead. They send down the infamous snakelike camera to check out the place. After that the aliens come down and play around till their called back. Harlan is about to snap and give them away, so Ray kills him away from his daughter. However, they are spotted, the girl it taken up with a tentacle, but Ray attacks the ship and is also taken up. It shouldn't be hard to know what happens next, they are now inside the force field and when they suck up Ray he takes some grenades and the ship blows up and they escape. By the time they reach Boston, the Walkers are now dying, the aliens can't handle our germs, atmosphere and what have you. The arm comes out at the end as in the original movie and he reunites with the family at their house that miraculously has escaped major damage. Grand pa and ma are Gene Barry and Ann Robinson from the original better film.

This movie was not much of a disappointment to me because I didn't expect much, for a couple of reason. 1. Remakes are almost always poor compared to the original. This is no exception. The original film was better in every category, including special effects if you count them for the day they were made. The movie still stands up today. And 2, I was never a fan of HG Wells's book, the 50's film of course changed things from the book as is always done and improved them vastly for the time it was made. The tripod walking machines I always thought were rather dumb and the book was not nearly as good. The purest Wells fans I'm sure love this one because its more fateful to the book, granted that is largely true, but since I thought the book was inferior to the 50's film, I would not like this version.

Furthermore, it suffers from what a lot of new films do, much too long and the personal problems they invent for the main characters, which distract from the film and are often boring and painful to watch. For this we have single father and two annoying kids. The whole nonsense with the family should have been entirely cut from the film. The original does not have such stupidity in it. The acting from Cruise on down is not great and the girl is maybe the worst. The kids are some of the worst parts of the film. Throughout the film Cruise is trying to reconcile with his son, while the stupid girl screams, trust me you'll want them all to die. Plus the plot is bad, supposedly the invaders planted the machines millions of years ago only to come back now. What for? It would be easier to take the planet when we weren't around and the same if not worse germs would still be around.

Also Spielberg's liberal nonsense is shoved down normal people's throats for propaganda purposes. There are many instances sprinkled about while referencing the original film, all done poorly. The taking of the car mimics the original part where Barry is taken from his truck that has scientific information to stop the aliens, here they just lose a car to a mob, that also tells us guns are bad. The farmhouse may be the best part in the film, but even that falls apart, Robin's creepy character has a shot gun the whole time waiting for the aliens, yet he doesn't load the gun until they are down in the cellar with them and could hear him cock the gun? Robins also mentions "occupation which never works", Spielberg takes another shot at America and the US military, he is so loathsome. And of course do all the homage you want, but you left out the nuclear bomb we drop in the original, only to have it fail. I'm sure Spielberg hates nuclear weapons and didn't want it used in the film. With very few redeeming qualities to mention, this movie is near the bottom and certainly should not have been remade. There are no powerful scenes, unlike the original. See the original,it's a superb film, this is just summer trash, 2 stars.

The movie basically starts out with flashbacks on a beach, with a montage of a man being trained in the art of Ninjitsu. This includes a brief "history" of Ninjitsu and what they believe. Periodically throughout the film, his "master" is shown teaching him the ways…. don't take it as gospel. While in Texas he, Jesse (Lord), is headed out to a seminar on his Kawasaki Ninja bike (of course), the bike stalls and he gets stuck in a back water hick town, run by the local Klan Sheriff. While waiting he witnesses the local police hassle a young black man at a diner. This tells us that these guys are no good and that their brand of justice is the law. So later that night, our hero is jogging around practicing some kata and runs into the local Klan trying to lynch the young uppity black man. A fight ensues, the black guy is killed, and amusingly one of the Klansmen's sheets catches fire on the burning cross. The cops pin it on Jesse, so using Ninjitsu he escapes from the local lock up (don't ask) and they begin to chase him down. One of the Klan member's daughters, Sam (Pawlak), goes with him, because it was her friend that was killed. Throughout the film he gets beat up and made a fool by the hillbillies. They even put in a Klan meeting that looks genuine from what I have researched. And eventually some blacks arm up and then go to take on the Klan. Jesse is now face to face with the kung fu Klansmen and they fight. In a very badly staged scene they duel, but Sam ends it by shooting him before he kills Jesse. The father of Sam, who is in the Klan, sees the light and calls the feds and it's all broken up. Thank God that's the end.

This is probably the worst so called "Ninja" film I have ever seen. The action is awful, the fight scenes are poor, and the main character has the skill of a white belt. The premise was an OK idea, but put into practice it falls apart FAST. As soon you start to watch this film you can tell it's cheap. There's just a look and you will probably see it right away. So when I looked it up, it's an Indy. OK, that can be forgiven, but the poor script and action of the film, can not be. The "fights" are poor at best, with no real victory ever accomplished. The "Ninja" gets owned by virtually everyone, especially one Klansmen who seems to know something of the martial arts. Now I realize in a fight, most people won't come away unscathed, like Steven Segal's nonsense, but this guy basically gets beat and hounded most of the film. And there are so many stupid things abound. For instance, while in the forest, he starts putting dirt on himself to basically camouflage himself. OK that makes sense, but he tells her, we must use the elements earth, water and fire to conceal ourselves. So after soiling himself in dirt and very black mud (paint) he jumps into the water. Good one, you just erased all your camouflage, I guess he didn't watch Predator. Earlier while in his motel, he lays out the typical ninja weapons, but never gets to use them. A total waste. And again of course the terrible fights. Deep in the film, he fights some hillbillies trying to get Sam and punches out his teeth. Hilariously bad, they looked like wax lips or something and the guy keeps going on all the while complaining about his teeth. LOL! With the added sound track one can't help but laugh at this drivel. The ninja also doesn't like advice from some girl, she says don't go that way, he does and walks into an ambush. Poor mans ninja fails again. I bet Scott Morris learned from this guy (UFC 2). Not to mention the fact that it feels like the sound track is totally off from the people talking. This may be yet another example of a film with the actors dubbed for no reason at all, see the poor Indy film ROTOR for more on this. They try to get across the theme of hatred and all that, but it's mostly fails, frankly just dew to poor production values and a silly script. Overall a very poor film, I caught on the This Network, that martial arts fans should avoid at all cost, however if your fan of bad films, this is your stop. 1 out of 10 stars.

An American platoon lands on the beaches on Salerno Italy and are tasked with taking a farmhouse farther inland. The movie begins in the dark early hours, in landing craft headed for the Italian coast, dialogue ensues. The platoon's Lt, is injured and eventually dies, leaving a number of sergeants to lead the platoon to the objective. More dialogue follows. Eventually they hit the beaches uncontested and dig so they can talk about nothing. In one of the few action scenes of the film, a medic (Holloway) is killed by a strafing plane, and more talk follows. They move inland all while talking and come across some deserting Italian soldiers. The token Italian American is able to speak to them and they get some info about the area. After more long winded chat of no importance, they get ready to hit a German half track. One of the sergeants basically wets his pants, cries, and can't fight. They blow up the half track and move on to the all important farmhouse. After much talk, they attempt to hit it, and they fail. They come up with a foolhardy plan to take the place. With much less casualties then would have actually happened, they manage to take the house and talk some more.

I have to say this is one of the most disappointing "war films" I have ever scene. I'm amazed with a cast like this the film came out so poorly, in virtually every aspect. Lloyd Bridges seems to stand out by far and even his character is a bore. The real problem with the film is there is too much needless boring dialogue. Everyone knows to have a good film you need a good script and dialogue, the problem is that almost all of it is pointless. They attempted to show you what the average Joe would be talking about while he's out on patrol. But it becomes tedious and extremely boring, with dialogue if you're not outright laughing at for being so poor, you may just be fast forwarding. For instances some have said how "real" the dialogue is. Yet, near the end, they have just lost some men, are under fire and don't know how their going to take the farmhouse. So with no real emotion the one guy starts up a conversation about how a leaf off the ground is more complex than the human body. If it sounds stupid, it is. His first thoughts would be is he going to see his family again or live to see another day. Other ones are equally as silly, about dirt, apples, and how one man wants to be hit man after the war. The only scene that was good was when they talk to the Italians to get some information. It comes off well. But I haven't mentioned characters, because they are ones that no one could care about. I couldn't even give you a name. Although you really never see them, you will probably be begging for the Germans to attack just so something happens in the film. The song that is played periodically during the film is awful, but I can excuse this for it is not the tastes of my era.

Those above aren't the only situations that are impractical. The officer is killed yet among at least 3 sergeants they have no idea what their doing. No one seems to carry a radio. When friends die, rather then stripping them of at least their ammo or weapon, they leave them there with a loaded Garand shoved in the ground. Same with the medic, he's killed and they don't take his supplies. And of course let's not forget the non climatic ending. Not only do they poorly plan the attack, but they are suppose to have cover from a machine gunner who does nothing but brag, yet he cant hit the broad side of a barn, or a farm house in this case. In reality virtually all of those men would be back in WWI, slaughtered from machine gun fire. If you wanted reality poor planning actually may be kosher to the green US military of the time, so maybe the movie is correct in that case.

I know what people will say, go watch Private Ryan (overrated) or something with big special effects. No actually I don't need all that. Most of the greatest war films, among others were from years back, from black and white to color, with little or lots of violence, bad effects to great effects and with varying dialogue. This is just a poor war film. Guadalcanal Diary was made before this and is far superior on all levels. Among other greats about WW II, Attack!, The Longest Day, The Train, The Dirty Dozen, Bridge on the River Kwai, The Great Escape, and depending on how modern you want to be, Downfall. There are too many to name. I'm sure this holds a special place for some, but overall it is poorly done and should be avoided by most, unless a die hard WW II buff. 1 and half out of 10 stars.

An EPA agent Jack Taggart (Seagal) is sent to go "undercover" in eastern Kentucky to find out who's responsible for dumping toxins in the ground. Of course in a film like this, there's a friend of Taggart's who's dead, so he has to avenge him. The locals, mostly poor are too afraid to make much noise about who's doing it for fear of reprisals. So Taggart strolls into town and starts doing odd jobs for a church fixing up some local's porches, playing the fiddle and then meets the female lead Sarah Kellogg (Helgenberger). It's just as bad as it sounds. I like to the scene where he grabs the rattle snake lighting quick, I guess I'm not the only one who saw "Hard Target". Pretty soon he gets into fights with the local trash and as always dominates and finds out that Orin Hanner Sr. (Kristofferson) is the guy behind the whole operation. Taggart goes after his spineless son Orin Jr. (Hunt) who runs the business locally and eventually takes it to the top and sends Sr. to the big house in an anti climatic ending.

This is one of Seagal's worst movies in my opinion. Even in films where the script was bad, Seagal usually would come through with some good fight sequences but even these are fairly lame in this. More often you are waiting for some action to actually happen, but rather you get to see Seagal glad hand the locals, sing, play guitars, square dance, give an environmental speech and do routine maintenance for the poor. Can you say stupid? The movie is boring and Seagal supposedly undercover stands out like sore thumb with those silly jackets. With the few action scenes you get, all are vastly inferior to those of his past greats and what kicks he had are very poor indeed. By this time in his career he was not in great shape and this may have affected the scenes in general. The best action scene in the film actually involves a big rig chasing him in truck like Red Fox's. To add to this, there is very little killing in this, not only does he push the environmental message, but he kills very few people. I mean come on, the staple of a film like this is the showdown at the end and the bad guy bites it. But no Seagal wounds the guy and arrests him. And don't even get me started with the gas station and the flare, didn't want to hurt any bystanders I suppose. WEAK!

There are plenty of fine actors in this film, not really sure why, who also come out looking thoroughly awful. Nobody usually expects fine acting from a film like this, but good actors can only do so much with a terrible script and this proves good actors can be totally wasted on poor writing. Harry Dean Stanton is great and he has such a weak hillbilly role in this, along with Helgenberger. And of course Seagal speaks as always painfully low toned and silly, like he's on depressants. If your fan of The Punisher look for Mark Collie playing a hick who can't fight. Also once Seagal started putting into his films too much of an environmental message the movies began to go down hill. Believe me, I'm for the environment, but it has very little place in these films and Seagal looks like a fool doing speeches on the subject, remember On Deadly Ground? This is worse.

There very few bright spots, one being the location shots. OK nice, but I came to see action not Kentucky. For country music fans I would imagine this is a gold mine, with lots of music and stars making appearances in the films. Again, didn't come to see that. With a few one liners that are OK, there is nothing much more to say that is good. Surprisingly this was released in theaters and I can see why it was one of his last. Overall a very poor action film, with no nudity to speak of equals 1 out of 10 stars.

The movie starts with a rich doctor named Kirshner (Milland) who's developed a way to transplant the head of another creature, in this case an ape on to another's body and it survives. It will revolutionize science. Since he's the leading expert in medical transplants a young black doctor Williams (Marshall) wishes to work with him and learn all he can. We soon see that Kirchner wants nothing to do with blacks and says he can't work there. Williams gave up a lot to go there and is mad, so Kirshner reluctantly allows him to work for a short time. Kirshner confides in his colleague Dr. Desmond that he is dying and must have body immediately. The word goes out, and a death row inmate decides to "donate his body to medical science." Jack (Grier) claims he's innocent, but is brought over and put under for the procedure. In one of the funnier parts of the film Kirshner wakes up on a black mans body. They plan was to keep the other head sedated until Kirshner can control the body, but Jack makes a run for it, with Kirshner's head attached, taking Marshall hostage. In a chase that never seems to end Jack finally gets away from the cops and the brothers decide to get rid of the white mans head. One thing leads to another and Kirshner ends up with his head ready to be transplanted again while Jack, Marshal, and his girl take off for freedom. The End, what a stupid film.

This has to be one of the dumbest films I have ever scene. Not only is it totally outlandish, everything else is bad as well. From the acting to the special affects its just bargain basement bad. With all that being said I watched the whole thing and was amused by most of the film. The effects are so bad you can't help but laugh, especially at Milland's head on Grier's body throughout much of the film as they run, ride and elude police. The effects are laughable, certainly Rick Baker went on to much better things. I guess this would be practice for future works with ape costumes, King Kong, Mighty Joe Young and Planet of the Apes (all remakes). And the story, Racist white guy gets his head put on black man's body? That's funny. This is your classic blaxploitation film with most of the white guys being shown as villains in the film, but just from a comedic angle. There are plenty of solid films of this nature but this is not one of them. This only serves to garner some stupid laughs from a stupid script. One of the worst parts of the film has to be the never ending chase. For what seems like and eternity Grier is chased by the cops on a dirt bike. But its goes on FOREVER! they must have spent half the budget on crashed police cars. Milland's a good actor so I'm surprised he did some of these low budget yarns, somewhat like "Frogs." The rest of the cast did their job, Grier was amusing nothing bad to say just a silly film all together. So overall stupid film of the era, but so bad its good quality bumps it up bit, 2 and a half stars.

"Frogs" is set in Florida around a prominent southern family whose patriarch Jason Crockett (Millan) is polluting the island he owns. In the mean time a naturalist/photographer Pickett Smith (Elliot) is taking pictures of the area, just from a shot or two he sees the place is polluted. While in his canoe he's capsized (Flips it himself) by some of Crockett's family, Karen (Van Ark) and Clint (Roarke) who likes putting back some brews. They apologize and he comes to the mansion for a wash and talk. While all this is going on you have the constant sound of frogs and a lot of crowing. Old man Crockett can't stand the sounds of frogs and complains about them 24/7. He wants them wiped out. Crockett sent out a guy named Grover to look into this and goes missing in the swamp and you guessed it, he's been killed by the frogs or is it toads, well lets say nature. Smith gets the notion that nature may be fighting back, taking revenge for what man has done to them. Jason says that's hogwash and does not care. One by one people start getting knocked off, often in amusing and also boring ways by just about every creature you can find that slithers in a swamp. One that stands out is Kenneth (Cortland) who gets knocked off in the green house when some reptiles start breaking various glass jars containing "poison". So of course he goes over to investigate and is overcome but he fumes. The lizard's just laugh at him. Various family members and other miscellaneous people get killed and it's all very silly. To list a few, Michael (Gillian) basically trips and is over taken by canopy of spiders webs and spiders, snapping turtle attacks Jenny (Borden) stuck in mud, snake takes down Iris (Irving) along with leaches (fake as can be and way overacted,) Clint killed by a snake in the water and to top it off they kill off the blacks who worked on the estate. I mean who can't out run turtle? At least they finally brought out a gator to kill poor old Stuart (Skaff). Old man Crockett decides he's not going anywhere and will stay at the estate. Amusing how Crockett was barking out orders as if he had control over his family and workers to stay and die with him. So when the rest hightail it he stays behind with his poor dog. Smith, Karen and Clint's kids escape with some trouble and hail a driver on local road. Amusing how the driver stops and picks them up with a loaded shotgun in Smith's hand. Its hinted that this is going on elsewhere. As for old man Crockett, eventually he falls out of his wheelchair and is overcome by frogs bouncing around at his windows.

I had read about this film for some time and finally saw it on "THIS TV" network. I'm glad I didn't hold my breath to see it because it was silly indeed. It's mostly boring, rather then a terrible film. The acting is not great, that's for sure. Even Millan who is good, just sits around and bitches about the frogs all day. He plays the same angry crippled old man from The Thing With Two Heads. Joan Van Ark looked good. I'd say she was one of the better parts of the film, along with Sam Elliot doing an early role. There really weren't that many special effects accept for the opening and closing credits which I think they spent most of the budget on. The biggest problem is that Frogs aren't dangerous, so you have various other creatures from the black lagoon doing the dirty work on the humans as the frogs pull the strings from behind. It comes off as amusing far more than scary in any way. I love the toad walking around on the cake with icing on his feet and Millan blowing away the snake in the dining room. The deaths are silly to impossible. This was one the early nature strikes back films and so man more came about after this. Overall it is silly but it's actually and good watch just to pass some time, laugh a little and remember the 70's. I'm always up for seeing nature strike back at man. So, 5 out of 10 stars.

The movie starts out with a wedding between a newly appointed Sheriff Ike Slayton (Davis) and Maria Montoya (Delaney) in a small town out in the desert. In the meantime at a local prison we witness a convict Kuttner (De Broux) stab a guy to death in jail, this tells us he means business. His friend Patch (Tolkan) watches, what an original name guess what he's missing? So Kuttner as it so happens is up for parole and Maria is the psychologist who says he's too dangerous to get out. The board denies him, but some kind of ruse happens on the road nearby which causes the evacuation of the jail. The Warden (Kennedy) says they have to be evacuated, not surprisingly it goes wrong and the criminals take a prison bus and Maria as hostages. Kuttner takes Patche's advice and they go to the small town taking the entire population hostage and grab some guns. Two convicts in particular to look for, Smitty (Ferrigno) and Albert (Alzado) who go to one of the houses to see what they can find. They break into Ike's place and soon get tied up bye Ike and his Vietnam buddy, Billy (Foree). I actually doubt the good guys would have beaten these two to be honest. The police arrive lead by a Lt. (Kotto), but soon retreat when Kuttner murders one of the hostages and is about to blow away Maria. Oh no! Then a very silly Colonel Johnson (Vincent) arrives on the seen and wants action. Bad idea, the convicts armed with shotguns drive back the National Guard with fully automatic M-16s…yea OK. In the fray Ike and Billy escape, but Kuttner saw him and knows from another convict that he's Maria's man. The stupid movie goes on, they move the hostages to a small factory and eventually Ike and Billy fight their way through his men to rescue the hostages. At one point Ike is armed with a crossbow against automatic weapons, yea OK. In a laughable scene the army of 91' uses a tank that is so outdated it was pathetic and laughable. I didn't know the national guard was so under funded. Kuttner attempts to escape in a helicopter, but falls out when Maria and Ike knock him off. The end.

This is a terrible action film from start to finish. There are a lot of things that make it bad, but let's start out with the acting. This film actually has a lot of big stars and ones that everyone knows, yet the acting is very poor. What are George Kennedy and Yaphet Kotto doing in this nonsense? Thank god they got paid because they should be embarrassed by this film. Kim Delaney is easy on the eyes, but she barley even talks most of the film, with most of her lines coming near the end. By far the thing to look for in the film for bodybuilding and football fans is Ferrigno and Alzado as two big convicts. They are more convincing then most of the cast. Maybe the biggest disappointment was Jan-Michael Vincent, who I grew up on in Airwolf. He was terrible in this. He trys to act as a hard ass colonel, but it just fails and he ends up looking stupid. The scrip of course doesn't help, how's and guy suppose to act if they gave him lines that make him sound like a fool? The col. was a total joke, how about that pipe? I guess it has enough action in the film, but it looks poor. You can literally see a guy get launched off something when a grenade goes off. Also the military looks so poor in this. I realize it's a cheap film, but there is no way the US military would be using a tank that has to be at least 30 years old at this point in time. And I swear it looked like the m-16s weren't even firing, but more like a "special effect" was put on the muzzle….very poor looking. And even the soldiers they send in unarmored, would still have taken them down. The convicts were only armed with shotguns, while the military had fully automatic weapons. Of course the military decides to use no tactics and get owned. Did I mention stupid film? Overall a bad film up and down, but I actually sat through it despite Kim Delaney not getting nude. 2 out of 10 stars….you've been warned.

Film opens on Crystal Lake (will they ever learn?) Two teens on a yacht talking about the legend of Jason, they start to make out while there boat accidentally awakens Jason again with some electricity. Jason (Hodder) quickly dispatches them, grabs the kid's hockey mask and is on his way. We meet the main characters the next day about to board a cruise ship headed for New York. Rennie (Daggett) the main character, talks about her future with her favorite teacher Miss Van Deusen (Bingham). Her uncle, the principle Mr. McCulloch (Richman), the big ass of the film starts to rag on Rennie about everything and how he is disappointed about her coming. Meantime Rennie's man Sean (Reeves) is the captain's son, who is also disappointed with the youngster about not wanting to be a boat captain, sue me dad. So Jason climbs on board and some janitor of course knows more then the others to tell them they are all doomed. Soon we meet heavy metal girl and a nerd, the nerd is a must for most of these films. The metal chick goes to jam in the lower decks and soon has a flying v in her skull. In the meantime Rennie continues to have these silly visions of some boy and fear of drowning all connected to Jason. Even sillier is McCulloch on the senior trip asking for various forms of homework while they are supposed to be partying. The slutty girl of the film gives him a short biology lesson before she is cut to ribbons. Eventually Jason goes the through the kids one by one and after throwing the nerd on some electrical stuff, which starts a fire, those who are left have to abandon ship. After finally arriving in NY some thugs kidnap Rennie, but Jason also is there and kills them. Before going after her he boxes with Julius (laughable scene) and Jason punches his head off. Rennie escapes with Sean, confronts McCulloch about almost drowning her as a kid and they run off, while McCulloch is drowned head first in some toxic waste, one of the better parts of the film I might add. Jason start's to chase them through time square, diner, sub way, and eventually the sewers. Rennie manages to throw toxic waste on Jason's face making him melt and cry like baby, hilarious. The sewer cleans out, Jason wines like baby (laughable) the water drowns Jason and when it subsides he is transformed into a kid. Makes no sense but who cares Rennie and Sean walk off into time square with her dog to live anther day.

Overall a bad film and one of the weaker ones in the franchise, however I admit that for some reason I tend to enjoy this one. One of the big problems as everyone mentions was the lack of Jason being in NY. Most people know that director Rob Hedden did not have the money to film in NY so much of the film is on a boat or in Vancouver for the city shots. And I think for the most part that works, but again Jason is there for maybe the last 20 minutes, so it's somewhat of a letdown. The acting as usual is really bad, even for a Friday film, with a few exceptions. Peter Mark Richman as McCulloch is the one who stands out. He plays the jerk of the film to perfection and his death is enjoyable. Most of the others seem to walk through their roles, Especially Scott reeves as Sean. He wines the whole time and is not believable for a second. For instance his dad is laying dead on the floor and he barley acts that upset. As for Hodder, I was never really big on him as Jason. I rather like the actor more then him as the character. But he is good in this.

The story is weak as well, with the kids on the boat most of the movie, just a few survivors make it to NY. The worst part of the story is the nonsense with Rennie having flashbacks of her drowning and supposedly Jason was dragging her down as a kid while McCulloch her uncle, watched. It never works out and I think Jason would have been an adult when she was a child. The end is stupid too with Jason being turned into a kid at the end of the film. It makes no sense and looks likes crap. And how funny is having the principle come on the trip and asking for school crap and acting like he is the boss? As always the deaths are what people talk about and there are only a few good ones in this. I think most people like when Julius, one of the better characters from the film, eventually has his head punched off. Stupid but good. Let's see, toxic waste drowning, the steam rock in the gut, the wrench, the nerd on fire, but many more were just generic because they toned the whole movie down, not Robs fault. The MPAA edited up to much so again it's not Hedden's fault so I give him a break. The movie is better then Jason Goes to Hell, which was awful. Hardcore fans will hate it, but it has 80's nostalgic feel to it and if you like that you may want to hit it up. Lets 6 out 10.

This is probably one of the worst mainstream films in history. According to sources this movie ignores the events that take place in part 3, which isn't a bad thing, but unfortunately most people want ignore want happens in this one too. We start where it all began in Amity with Chiefs Brody's wife Ellen (Gary) now the main character and one of her sons Sean (Anderson). Chief Brody has apparently passed on, but of course Ellen knows it was the shark "it was fear of it" that caused it. Could it not be the strain of the job and people never believing the man when he talked? Sean is now a cop and has to answer a call out in the harbor. Well not surprisingly, in a grisly scene Sean is killed by Jaws and naturally Ellen knows the shark had it in for him. Her other son Mike (Guest) comes up from the Bahamas, where he researches underwater snails. He convinces her to take a vacation and come on down. By the way if you think a shark has a vendetta for you why not go to the mountains instead, but no she goes to the beach. Of course the shark manages to follow her and get there before her in amazing time, also impossible. While down there she meets Hoagie (Caine) they have fun and Michel and Jake (Van Peebles) find out there are more than snails down in the ocean. They keep the shark on the dl and decide they can study it. Not surprisingly the shark eventually attacks "the banana boat" while Mike's kid is on it. Ellen knows its there for her so she takes a boat and goes out after it. Hoagie takes his plane and the others to find Ellen, lands the non oceanic plane in the water and Jaws makes his move. Don't worry Hoagie gets to the boat dry and unharmed. The climax comes with Ellen and all our main stars confronting jaws on the boat. Jake manages to put some electric toy in the shark's mouth, just before he gets chomped that is! But does he live? So Mike teases the shark with the toy's electric shocks which sends the shark jumping out of the water and roaring. Yes roaring one of the dumbest scenes in film history. Soon it comes straight for the boat. Ellen thinks fast, speeds up, (flashing back to her husband blowing up the fist shark, although she was not there) and impales the shark as it jumps out of the water killing it as it sinks to the bottom. Of course that depends what version you have seen. Take notes there are different versions.

This is a really bad movie. A total insult the first two films which I thought were great. Its no surprise the Roy Scheider turned down the role, he didn't even want to do the second. The deal was even if he had his character would have been killed right away. And of course in titles like this they kill of characters you may like, for instance Sean the youngest Brody is killed brutally right away in the film. The story may be the worst part, but that's debatable. Ellen is convinced that not only was the shark responsible for her husband's death (heart attack, oh wait it was fear), but that it's seeking revenge on her family. Does she forget the 2 sharks that her husband dispatched in the first 2 films? Then it follows her down to the Bahamas and beats her there, oh please. Wouldn't this be a good time to move away from the ocean Mrs. Brody? Adding to that the acting is terrible in the film. I'm sure Michael Caine wants to forget he ever made this film, it's just so bad. If you can manage to pay attention you may catch the part when Mike and Jake talk about the shark, even though they haven't seen it yet.

But don't forget the special effects, which are awful. The shark looks very fake. They were still using the "Bruce" mold from the other films, but this is many years later and it should have been updated and certainly not show as much as it was on screen. Upon sight of the creature you will be laughing at how bad it looks. "Bruce" the shark is rolling over in his shark pen where ever he is, like that little one in part 3. They also make the shark do laughable things, the worst being that it roars like some kind of creature from He-Man. Sharks don't have vocal cords morons. It constantly eats and chews on boats too, which looks stupid. Many times when it leaps out of the water you can see the mechanics behind what's it doing it. I mean really who put this together? There are really too many to mention, but some have to be. Hoagie after the plane crashes in the water and he climbs up on the boat and he's completely dry. You think we wouldn't see this? Also there are different versions of the film. When I was we lad and saw this I think I saw the one where they claimed Jake lived, which is crap because there is no way he would have survived. But soon talking with other kids at the time it became a war of words about he lived or died and that the shark either was impaled and sunk or blew up at the end. Its all bad…just bad. So believe me there are more than a couple versions all of which, not surprisingly, are bad. If there is a plus to the film, I would have to say the shots of the Caribbean are great, but that's not enough. Overall a bad film that has really cheapened the franchise even further, and should be an example of how not to make a film. One and half stars.

Well Jaws 3-D is a bad film that really tarnished the series for good, followed by possibly an even worse film. The film focuses on Sea World in Florida where a Great White of some sort has snuck into the giant lagoon that they have at the park. So working at the park are Mike Brody (Quaid), son of the chief of course from part one and Katharine Morgan (Armstrong) chief biologist and girlfriend of his. Both do things with dolphins and eventually his brother Sean comes down as well. Well things start to go down hill as some beefy guy (grant) is missing, some divers among others and they find out there is a great white in the lagoon. So the owner Calvin Bouchard (Gossett Jr.) hires his pal Fitzroy (Mackcorkindale), some playboy esc adventure type to kill the shark and on live TV! Yea I bet that would fly. After some talking with Morgan he realizes they would make more cash if they could capture it (obviously). They manage to capture it and put it on display, but of course as in real life sharks, especially whites don't do to well in captivity and it dies. Funny how they gave the shark a pen that could barley hold small fish let alone a ten foot white. But meanwhile in one of the tunnels people can view from underwater a body has been found floating. It's the beef cake. What's left of him and Katherine determines that it must have been done by a far larger shark...lets say the mother, about 35 feet long. Soon the mom starts killing, reeking havoc, breaking the tunnels and stuff. Fitzroy and his pal go down to trap it, while Mike fixes something under water. Fitzroy gets swallowed and then it goes after mike. In a very stupid scene the shark smashes through the underwater glass, but is killed by the grenade still attached to what's left of Fitzroy's arm in the shark's mouth and it blows up...wow right out of the screen! Bad movie, but at least the dolphins live.

OK anyone that knows anything about the series knows this is a bad film. Just about everything about it is bad. Everything! Even the setting isn't that great. I'm surprised that sea world would want publicity from this film about a killer shark, maybe that's why it didn't kill that many people. The acting is terrible, even from Jr. who I like. What the hell script did they give the man that you can barley understand what he is saying? There were more than a few parts where the sound is off and the mouths don't match. And it's not just Jr., its all badly acted to the point where you don't care what happens to any of the people. The first 2 movies I actually felt bad for most of the people, but from hence forth....no. You will beg for the shark to kill them. The setting may have been the only redeemable part in this film as in Revenge. But still the shark barley even kills anyone in this and it's been highly toned down to where the shark is now slow and very inefficient. The shark itself is huge, but very fake, not as bad as Revenge but very close. For the young shark they use almost all shots of a real great white sped up on film which looked very poor. And most of the film the creature is apparently stuck in some vent shaft and manages to swim backwards…OK did anyone read a book on sharks? And of course the 3-D aspect. It dose look very bad, but why is it that Friday the 13th part 3 it didn't look nearly as bad as the shots they made here? The dumbest being Jaws coming at the glass underwater at the end. Seriously if you haven't seen this it was a one peace prop just coming straight at the camera and didn't even move it was so bad. Then it blows up and peaces of the jaw come at the viewer. Now granted it probably looked cool on screen with the glasses so I'm going easy, but even at that, they made it look so fake. And there are plenty of total goofs, like when Jaws is behind the water skiers, being a 35ft shark with its dorsal fin so close the mouth would have been under the skiers already. One part that stood out was when they get the corpse of the guy it really looked nasty and stripped away. However since it had been there for a number of days all the fish would have stripped it, so even that was silly. Overall I think this is slightly better then Revenge, but just barley. It may come down just to which one you prefer rather then the specifics. Let's say 2 and half out of ten stars, don't forget to look out for McFly's mom.

A serial killer Warren Stacy (Davis) stalks women, mostly ones he knows and murders them while he's butt naked. Warren is a the typical lonely weird guy who keeps to himself while working as a typewriter repair man at the same time getting the cold shoulder from the women who work there. So he starts to kill them. He stalks one of them and using a knife he strips down nude and then guts them. Leo Kessler (Bronson) and his much younger partner Paul McAnn (Steven's) get on the case to track the killer down. With a little snooping it's not hard to find the creep who acted a like a weirdo around her. But Bronson had trouble getting hard evidence against him comes up short. So Bronson plants blood from his first victim on his clothes in a attempt to nail the killer. Warren and his lawyer (Lewis) know its bs because he is always naked when he kills. McAnn gets pressured by the defense to look into what really happened and finds out that Bronson planted the evidence. They are forced to let the pervert out and Bronson gets fired. The cat and mouse game begins between Warren and Bronson, before he manages to go after Bronson's daughter and kill more women. Just before Warren is about to kill her Bronson confronts him. Warren says he'll plead insanity and that he couldn't help it. Bronson being a logical guy is not going to let him get out again and blows him away. Thank God.

This another great roll for Charles Bronson. It's basically the same role he came to play many times as the no nonsense cop who is fed up with the system and takes law into his own hands. Though he doesn't go to the levels of the Death Wish series, he stays more grounded in reality in this one sticking to just planting evidence and only blowing away one guy at the end. So the body count fans may be disappointed. This does not take away from the movie and probably improves it in many ways and not becoming one big shoot out. Not that it's bad mind you. You shouldn't expect the greatest of acting here and no one will care, its overall a good 80's watch who like to see justice done. Bronson is basically the same as always and the other actors look like their collecting a pay check. I would say that the best actor would be Davis playing the role of the weird killer. He really looked creepy in this. One other thing to mention in this is there is a lot of nudity in this film, far more than I saw in most of the big horror films of the 80's. Not only are the women naked a bunch of times, but the killer himself kills in the nude. Interesting the TV version has him in tight under where. Fair amount of blood gushes too when he stabs at them. Apparently the nut was based on a guy Richard speck who murdered a bunch. Overall I would probably give about eight out of ten stars. Don't listen to the critics, who cares what they say? This is a good Bronson outing and should not be missed.

I've always been a fan of Chuck Norris for what he's accomplished and his movies. For while I had been meaning to watch this film, but for whatever reason didn't have chance. Apparently I didn't miss much. This has to be one of Chuck's worst films. So this trucker, Billy Dawes (Augenstein) is given the chance to make his delivery, but on the way he is detoured and forced into a jerkwater town where a foolish local corrupt Judge Trimmings (Murdock) who runs the whole town, has him arrested and phony charges brought up on him. He denies the charges and makes a run for it. The local hick cops beat him and he disappears. But now his brother JD John Dawes (Norris) another trucker goes looking for him. He soon finds that the town is run buy the loser judge and that his brother is nowhere to be found. Not long after he begins to beat off just about everyone in town. In the meantime the female of the film calls on local truckers on a CB radio, and they all come rushing into town demolishing it. LOL with there big rigs. Eventually Norris finds his brother and beats off more thugs.

This movie was pretty bad. It actually starts off OK and you feel great when Norris starts to smash some of these local corrupt cops, because there such losers. But there is virtually no story, the acting is bad, and the ending …..well it doesn't really have one. The Judge has his house rammed into by a big rig and you never know what happens. Does he live? Norris never even gets to trash him. In the meantime Norris takes on some thug cop at the end. Who cares? Norris also manages to take on everyone in town, gets his hand broken and shot in the side and goes on to keep fighting. Come on! This movie was apparently made to cash in on the CB craze of the time, why there was one is beyond me. They barley even use the CB's in the movie. Adding to this, the movie near the end seems to drag on and you wonder why it's not over yet. This movie is bad, but if you're bored and need something to watch it will pass the time. As far as Norris he went on to make much better films than this. 3 out of 10.

Friday the 13th V among fans has gone down as the worst of the series because of the absence of Jason. Although this film is very bad it's just that what makes it so dam good. The story starts out with a cameo appearance by Cory Feldman playing Tommy Jarvis but it turns out this is only a dream and he wakes up. Tommy (Shepherd) now older, not sure how old and in great shape, is being sent to a halfway house for mental patients, I'm guessing around the area of Crystal Lake. As you go further in, this movie gets worse by the minute. Soon we are introduced to some characters, some retarded kids and the best being a mother and son pair of hillbillies that live in the area and hate the retarded kids who live there. They are by far the best part of this film. Apparently all the kids are on the honor system to be good and not misbehave. So a nut like this guy Vick, a patient there is allowed to chop wood with a large ax….yea I'll buy that. Not surprising a fat mentally challenged boy named Joey offers Vick a candy bar and is denied and hacked to pieces. So one of the paramedics seems to be sickened by the scene, while the other seems to enjoy the carnage. A medic? Soon after we start to see the body count rise. But who is doing that's the big mystery. As if one couldn't figure it out. The local sheriff, who is a complete joke and can't act, proclaims it's Jason who has been dead for some time. OH MY it gets better. Let's see Jason really kills a lot of people in this, most deserving it. Some memorable kills would be the road flare, the belt, hedge clippers, motorcycle beheading, and of course the outhouse. Eventually Jason kills off most of the mental patients and we're left with one of the watchers Pam and a black kid named Reggie (Ross), one of the few bright spots of the movie. So of course Jason attempts to kill them, while Reggie continues to scream like a high pitched girl….one of the funniest parts in the film. So some how Jason manages to catch up with them even though their running and he's not. Stupid! Soon they get to a barn, Reggie manages to drive a back ho into him, though he gets up and pursues. But now Tommy comes out of no where and confronts him, a struggle ensues Tommy gets whipped but they all team up on Jason sending him on to some sharp farm equipment. Now we find out that it was not Jason but a guy named Roy the medic, who son was apparently Billy and he when nuts when he saw him slaughtered. The ending is truly bad, showing Tommy taking over the role of Jason. Bad ending. Bad film.

OK there's no question this film is bad. But this film is so funny for so many reasons. The acting is horrendous even more so than usual in these films, but since I don't watch a Friday movie for acting who really cares right? The story is bad but not as much as the Friday fans will tell you. Who cares if Jason is not in the movie? He wasn't really in the original either and if you know anything about mass murders there often is a copy cat killer, so cool it people. But it's easy to tell who the killer is so that part of the story is stupid. There are so many funny parts in this film….let me review and laugh. 1. As stated before why would a place for mental patients allow one of them to have an ax? Not just one, but one who obviously has a few anger management problems and looks like he wants to kill you. 2. The medic's scene is stupid. How many medics would actually get a kick out of coming to a gruesome scene where a boy was just hacked to pieces? As the one says "get your hands dirty" I think not. 3. What's up with the greasers who come out of no where just to be killed? Apparently if you follow the time line of the movies, this film takes place in the 90's and even in the 80's 2 greasers would have been totally out of place. Can you say happy days? 4. I love the part when the playboy takes one of Tommy's masks and he slams the cream puff (so would I). 5. Of course the hillbillies are the best part and the vagrant visitor who is just looking to fill his stomach and Ethel is nice enough to feed him if he cleans the crap out behind the chicken coup. 6. What about Demon (Miguel Núñez Jr)? Anything this guy has been in is at least funny…street fighter anyone? "Oh those dam enchiladas LOL then gets killed in the outhouse after singing with his woman. 7. Possibly the best part in the film, "he hurt me ma!" and the true retard gets beheaded on his motorcycle while his mother makes his stew (flavor added). 8 Watch the greatest shoot down in history when Robin shoots down Jake stuttering about who asks her to make love to him. LOL down in flames. 9. Who could forget watching Reggie get chased by Jason and screaming like a girl. 10. One of the dumbest things about this film is how Jason walks around while they run and yet he catches them. Soooooo stupid! OK so yes this will go down as the Halloween 3 and Nightmare 2 of the series, but if you can't laugh at how bad this film is your not gonna laugh at much. As a Friday movie this is bad, and basically this one big goof, but I have to give it a 6 for being so dam funny.

X3 is the third and I believe the final installment of the X-Mean series in which the X-Men are faced with a mutant antigen that the government is calling a "cure" that essentially will make all mutants human suppressing the x-gene. The government in the meantime is also looking for Magneto (Ian McKellen) who is still terrorizing the world with his Brotherhood. Secretly though the government has weaponized the anti bodes to the dismay of Professor X (Stewart) and Beast (Grammar), who is a working in the cabinet of the new administration. They soon learn that the cure comes from a boy mutant (Leach in this) and Magneto knows that he must destroy the cure and the boy before it destroys mutant kind. In the meantime we also have the continuing Phoenix Saga or Dark Phoenix saga with Jean Grey (Janssen). Since the 2nd film we now see that Jean is still alive but her powers are out of control and soon kills Cyclopes (Marsden). We also learn that the Professor has been controlling her powers since child hood but no longer can. Jean escapes and is later confronted at her childhood house buy The X-men and Magneto who has now assembled some new mutants for his Brotherhood, mostly Morlocks. They fight and the professor is killed and Jean goes off with Magneto. With the danger so great the military is now armed with the cure and all plastic materials for equipment. Magneto launches his attack on Alcatraz Island to kill the boy which leads to the final struggle of the movie. Magneto has his power taken away in the battle and Wolverine (Jackman) is forced to kill his one true love Jean.

X3 is the weakest of the series, but it's not a bad film at all for comic book fans. I think most will be surprised at the level of violence and killing that happens too many of the main charters throughout the film. As said this was to be the last so they wanted to go out with a bang. The overall story is OK. I wasn't too thrilled about the whole cure thing but it was OK. The introduction of some familiar faces from the comic book is appreciated. Beast was well played by Grammar and the makeup on him was great. He really looked like the character from the comic. Angel has a minor role and was OK, I was always more a fan of Archangel. I thoroughly enjoyed Ellen Page as Kitty Pryde, I think she looked great and was excellent in the film. The juggernaut is now a mutant in this but I thought he was somewhat lame in this incarnation. Most of the new mutants especially in the brotherhood I thought were annoying and lame especially quill. Most of the special effects are fine and the makeup jobs were near perfect. There are many small stories within the movie, like Rogue finally decides that she does not want her powers, her triangle with Bobby/Kitty I'll take Kitty thank you) and Angels problems with is father. The action never really dies down so I doubt one would be bored with this one. One thing that was missing from the first 2 films was the danger room and we get to see that here with a look at a possible future where Sentinels rule. But the stories are just not as good as one and two. The DVD extras were mostly poor which was a big let down. Some of the commentary was good, but not great it will explain some things. The packaging was great while the features were not. It was mainly trailers and cut scenes.There are some surprises at the end so look out. Overall 2 is still the best followed by 1 and then this. It's weak in some areas but still a good watch so pick it up. Big 8 out of 10.

Arnold once again in the 80's demonstrated that he was the king of action and one liners in this futuristic film about a violent game show that no contestant survives. But as the tag line says Arnold has yet to play! The movie begins in the year 2019 in which the world economy has collapsed with food and other important materials in short supply and a totalitarian state has arisen, controlling every aspect of life through TV and a police state. It's most popular game show is The Running Man, in which criminals are forced to survive against "Stalkers" that live to kill them.

The movie opens with Ben Richards (Arnold) leading a helicopter mission to observe a food riot in progress. He is ordered by his superiors to fire on them, refusing to gets him knocked out and thrown in prison, in the meantime they slaughtered the people without his help. The government blames Richards for the massacre earning him the name "Butcher of Bakersfield". Eighteen months later Richards along with two friends William Laughlin (Koto) and Harold Weiss (McIntyre) breakout of a detention zone they worked in. They make their way to the underground, led by Mic (Mick Fleetwood). Mic quickly identifies Richards as the "Butcher of Bakersfield" and refuses to help him, but his friend's convince him otherwise. They want him to join the resistance, but he'd rather go live with his brother and get a job. Soon he finds that his brother has been taken away for reeducation and a woman name Amber Mendez (Alonso) has taken his apartment. Knowing who he is she won't help him, but he convinces her, but is busted at the airport by the cops after she ratted him out.

Meantime, The Running man is having trouble finding good new blood for the there stalkers to kill. Damon Killian (Dawson) the shows host and one of the most powerful men in the country sees Richards escape footage and is able to get him for the show after his capture. Richards refuses to play, Killian threatens to use his friends instead of him, so he signs the contract. You'll love that part. But soon he finds they will join him as well and makes sure Killian knows he'll be back. The Runners begin to make there way through the Zones and fight characters that are memorable, Sub-Zero, Buzz Saw and many others. Eventually Richards is joined by Amber who suspected he was set up but was caught and thrown into the game too. Together they find the underground and make there way back to Killian and give him a farewell send off.

The running man is another one of Arnold's great movies from the 80's. The movie was apparently somewhat based on Stephen King's book of the same name. Some have said that the book is better. I'm sure it's not and I don't care anyway I loved the movie. As in all of Arnold's films the acting is what you would expect with classic one liners from Arnold and even Ventura gets a couple in. But without a doubt Richard Dawson is the standout in this film. Being a real game show host he easily spoofed himself and was able to create a character that was truly cold blooded. The whole movie itself somewhat rips on game shows and big brother watching you. Keep an eye out for them poking fun and some old shows, "hate boat" among others. Also the cast was great besides Arnold, Koto, and Alonzo don't forget Professor Toru Tanaka, Jim Brown, Ventura and Sven-Ole! With all the reality TV nonsense that goes on it almost fits in better now, but I'm sure the Hollywood liberals would make it into a movie about the "Evil Bush". The new DVD had mostly poor extras meet the stalkers being the only redeemable one. Some how the ACLU managed to get some of there communism into the DVD and is laughable garbage that should not be anywhere near an Arnold movie of all things. Blasphemy! Overall for any Arnold fan especially we who grew up in the 80's on him ,you can't miss this. Its one of the first ones I saw back in the 80's and it's still great to this day. The futuristic world and humor are great. Overall 10 out 10 stars, definitely one of his best.

Avenging Eagle is the story of a man Chi Ming-sing (Ti Lung) who after years of killing for a brutal gang decides to leave and seek revenge against them and their leader. The gang, know as the Iron Boat Clan and in particular the men he raided with the 13 Eagles. All were raised from birth by Yoh Xi-hung (Ku Feng) to be brutal killers to obey his every command. Each with his own hand made eagle medallion and weapon. Now the 12 reaming eagles are sent out to find Chi Ming-sing and either kill him or to bring him back. Chi Ming-Sing soon runs into a wanderer Cheuk Yi-fan (Fu Sheng) who does not reveal himself at first, but decides to crusade against the clan together. As they head towards the clans base they are attacked in waves by the Eagles and defeat them one by one. As the movie goes on Chi Min sing tells his story of how he saw the light after being forced to kill a pregnant woman and betrayed the clan. In the final battle of the movie with Yoh Xi-hung, it's revealed that his companion is actually his worst enemy, the husband of the woman he killed and the man he swore to die by. In one of the great battles of Kung Fu cinema they combine forces to defeat there common foe. Chi Ming sing then forces Cheuk Yi-fan to kill him allowing his wife's spirit to rest in peace.

Avenging Eagle is easily one of the greatest films the Shaw Brothers ever created. The story is great, played out with a solid cast of familiar A list Kung Fu actors from the Shaw's studio at the time. As with most Shaw Brothers films the action is non stop and choreographed well. Fans of the violent fights often seen in Shaw Brothers Kung Fu films will not be disappointed in the level of action and brutal fights in this film. The costumes worn by the actors were very unique. The "Eagles" each have a unique outfit with a primary color and medallion that matches their outfit. Also each member of the gang is usually equipped with a different or unique weapon. Ti Lung uses the 3 section staff and Fu Sheng uses a pair of hidden knives for what he would become know by, "the double blade." Among other interesting weapons would be Yien Lin's (Johnny Wang Lung-wei) brass ring and of course Yoh Xi-hung' iron claw gloves.

Overall this is a masterpiece from the great Shaw Brothers. Compared to non Kung Fu films I'm sure most would find it stupid. But to fans of the Shaw's and Kung Fu films this is one of the great ones and not just your average Kung Fu flick. This isn't just action and killing but great story as well. Without a doubt this gets a big ten out of ten stars. Truly a classic.

This is easily one of the worst martial arts films I've ever seen, and that's saying something. The chant of viva Chiba, viva Chiba is heard at the title, soon you will be chanting to yourself stupid, stupid. The basic story is that the mafia is running drugs into Japan and one man vowels to stop them, of course that's our man Sonny Chiba. The Karate master offers up his service to anyone who can provide information on the drug lords. A woman comes forward and he becomes the bodyguard, but what are her true intentions? Let me say at this point who cares? Soon we are treated to or tortured by a series of poorly choreographed fights and a lame storyline that becomes more and more laughable at every moment. Sonny eventually wipes out the bad guys with his karate skills, end of story. Oh yeah the woman was corrupt too. Congratulations you may have just watched the funniest film ever.

As stated already this is one of the worst martial arts films I have ever seen. What makes it semi watchable is to see how badly made a film can be. Some have already mentioned the infamous American intro put into the film. That's probably the most entertaining part of the film and it's beyond funny. I would agree its worth watching just to see how lame the 70's karate scene was at the time. Watch as Aaron Banks leaves a guy hanging by his nuts then flips a fat student (bad editing) punching him in the throat. But everything is badly done in this film. Terrible unbelievable fights, fake I mean fake blood, bad acting, dubbing, wardrobe, and let's not forget the story. One man to take out an entire drug problem in a country? I bet. Fight after fight is laughable. This was the 70's when people still believed karate was effective in a fight, but Chiba brings it to new levels with some of the nonsense put out in this movie. Let's see he kicks a gun in half, kicks a guy so hard what looks like his dentures fall out and of course chopping the bottle scene, give me a break. Not to mention the fact that it's very hard to tell what happens in the fights because it's filmed so poorly. One part that was amusing was when he broke the guys arm through the door giving him a compound fracture. OK. As the action goes on we are treated to gobs of blood, really fake blood. Too say it looked poorly made is and understatement. The acting is totally non existent in this film. I don't expect much from a film of this caliber anyway as long as the action is good, but it wasn't and as expected the dubbing is extremely poor. Was it my imagination or did they dub the Asian go go dancer with a black accent? As expected from a 70's wardrobe you'll be in stitches laughing at some of the trends and nasty women put forth for the gratuitous nudity that comes with these flicks. Also why would the mafia be so obvious and all where black trench coats and hats all the time? Don't try and hide it now. The characters were stupid as well. The pimp club owner's one of whom is decked out in a Japanese pimp suit and the other who has a taste for bores head looks like fat hippie. Also one last thing that bothered me throughout the film was the awful music with some woman whaling. It was very annoying.

Overall this is a terrible film by both martial arts standards and good movie making. That doesn't mean that it's not entertaining. With a film made so poorly it's hard not to laugh through most of this film, if you can stomach it. This was an old favorite watch with my best friend. If it was purely bad I would give one star, but the laughs it delivers bumps it up. 4 out 10.

This is a great docudrama that can't be missed by Arnold fans or those who like to pump major iron. Without a doubt this is what helped launch Arnold's career and start the fitness revolution that would later come about in the 80's. It also helped to bring bodybuilding out of the basement into the mainstream.

The documentary follows mainly Arnold Schwarzenegger "The Austrian Oak" and Lou Ferrigno as they train and work their way up to the 1975 Mr. Olympia contest in Pretoria South Africa in the Golden age of bodybuilding. Along the way we meet plenty of other famous bodybuilders, such as Franco Columbu, Ed Corny, Robby Robinson, Ken Waller and many others. Director George Butler goes behind the scenes of training and shows how Arnold thinks, trains and intimidates to stay on top, as the worlds greatest bodybuilder. Arnold of course delivers some famous lines even in his early days. The pump is as good as having sex with a woman and cuming, is classic. We also get to see many staged scenes like Arnold talking about skipping his father's funeral, how he gave fake advice to other bodybuilders and a staged scene with Lou's parents at breakfast. Arnold is shown as this unstoppable German machine, while Lou is the man who trains in the shadows and is unleashed on the world. Lou supposedly is being trained by his father in some cheap gym in Brooklyn, while Arnold trains at Gold's, in Venice Beach California. Finally at the Mr. Olympia contest Arnold and many others do pose downs to see who the overall winner is. Arnold takes on Franco in the finals and defeats him, though some think Franco was the better. Arnold then retires from competitive bodybuilding for now and the rest is history.

Some other memorable moments are of course Ken Waller and the shirt hiding incident with Mike Katz. Though somewhat staged as well, it still makes for an entertaining watch. Mike Katz's story is one of the better moments in the film, where he goes into how he got into lifting and bodybuilding. Indeed there's always a method to our madness. Franco's scene, "The Italian Way" in his home town in Italy is great when he dead lifts a car. Some like Arnold, Lou, Katz, and Franco have short bios of themselves in the film. The entire film is not totally staged, but some of it is. I guess Michael Moore watched this "documentary." One of the biggest fakes in the movie is the participation of Matty Ferrigno in his son's training. This was staged to show father and son working together. In reality Lou had a hard time with his father. Of course one can't forget Arnold smoking a joint after he wins the Mr. Olympia contest. No this is not fake. People who are not into lifting I'm sure would find some parts boring, but that's reason it's a docudrama to get a more mainstream crowd to watch and get into the characters.

Overall this docudrama gets a big 10 out of 10, no Arnold fan or person who is into bodybuilding can possibly miss this. There is no better film to watch when one is lifting to get serous motivation for pumping up. Be sure to watch the 25th anniversary DVD edition that tells all.

Before one even reads this review lets get one thing straight. This is not and never will be a Godzilla film. This was Hollywood yet again taking a name and using it for nothing more then profit. Or lack there of. Recent films and TV used for name value have also proved to be pure failures or garbage such as Garfield, The Honeymooners (maybe the worst), Kojack, The Manchurian Candidate, Charlie and the Chocolate factory and to many to mention here. If anything it is a poor rip-off of many films, including The Beast from 20,000 fathoms, that was done much better back in the day.

"Godzilla" starts out in south pacific with French nuclear testing that mutates some islands and some iguanas at the same time. Years later some Japanese fisherman are attacked and their boat sunk. Devlin had to throw in the Japanese fisherman scene to have more than just the "Godzilla" name to his creature......it didn't work. Soon a monster is spotted near the Panama canal and they call in a bumbling worm scientist Dr. Niko Tatopoulos (Broderick) who is also an expert on atomic energy. After looking at a big footprint he concludes that its a big mutated iguana. It heads north to New York where it makes its appearance and runs through the city for the rest of the movie. The military somehow can't manage to find the creature (yeah I'll buy that) and when they do, they fail miserably to even hurt it. Watch as advanced weapons seemingly miss this creature and hit major buildings in NY. Dr. Nick discovers that the beast is pregnant and is going to make a nest. Dr. Nick soon runs into his old flame Audrey Timmonds (Maria Pitillo) a wannabe reporter who is a failure and eventually back stabs Dr. Nick, taking a top secret video for her breaking evening news report. She spills the beans about the monsters asexual reproduction (give me a break) getting Nicko fired from the military committee. Meantime some French have been watching everything and kidnap Nick to go destroy the monster and eggs. The reporters tag along and they find the nest in Madison square garden and the Jurassic park rip-off begins. They manage to escape only to be perused by a now angry monster parent, but lure "it" to the Brooklyn Bridge where F-18s finish it off with some missiles. Nick looks into the creatures eyes and mutters some nonsense reminiscent of yet another movie, King Kong. But of course they do leave an opening for a sequel. Thankfully it hasn't happened.

As a life long Godzilla fan you can imagine I was more than upset when this film came out. Not that it was any surprise. I had know through G-Fan since 1996 that this film would be garbage and it was confirmed as more time went by and pictures were revealed of this so called "Godzilla". This is not a Godzilla film in any way, but just a badly written generic monster flick that seems to rip off many films while ruining the legend from Japan. This was one of the most hyped films of 1998 and yet I knew it would fail and it did. Devlin had claimed how "Godzilla" would be far superior and better than the old one. How is that, by running away from the military, not having his trademark radioactive ray, being killed with one rocket and laying eggs? A complete disgrace. The design wasn't all that bad for a creature, but not Godzilla. From the script to the acting, almost everything in this film is just awful. The acting is really bad, the blonde cant act and Broderick is not only terrible, but plays a really stupid scientist that one can't possibly believe would be smart enough to be in the position he is in and defeat this creature. I was surprised that Hank Azaria and Harry Shearer didn't start spouting Simpsons lines halfway through the film. Also, the American military is a complete failure when trying to kill or find the creature. How about follow the foot prints? Through out the movie there are many attempts at humor that fail on all levels. When watching this film, you'll find that much of it is joke, not that the concept is that serious, but the Original Godzilla was somewhat. The script and dialog are terrible, along with a movie that is much to long and relies heavily on movies of the past for ideas. Godzilla (obviously), the Beast From 20,000 Fathoms, Jurassic Park, and a little of Kong at the end. Devlin and them ripped of War of the Worlds to make Independence Day. That worked out well I thought, but they failed miserably with Godzilla. The only area I give some credit to in this film are some of the special effects. I am not a fan of CGI by any means, but they were not bad in this film. Even today the CGI in this film holds up to more recent films that have been made. Although that's not saying much. Overall this is a poor film on almost all levels and was a opportunity squandered by Hollywood on what should have been a true Godzilla film. Overall 1 stars out of 10 stick to the Japanese version. Avoid the album as well its infamous for Puff Daddy destroying the legendary Led Zeppelin song Kashmir.

Most of you I'm sure are familiar with the Highlander TV series staring Adrian Paul. Well the movies in my opinion were never as good a the TV show, with the fist movie being the only redeeming one of the bunch. Part 3 is a pretty bad movie and my opinion has not changed since I first saw it ten years ago. Some on this board say its a remake of the first others say it continues from the first. Either way the movie is awful. The movie starts out way back when Connor Macleod (Lambert) leaves Scotland and sets out for his quest, I suppose. Eventually makes his way to Japan, where of course he comes across the master sorcerer Nakano (Mako). There he learns the way of the sword and how to fight. Ever seen Conan? Well so did the people who wrote this. While he becomes a better swordsman, evil is approaching. Kane (Mario Van Peebles), what an original name for evil, and along the way he shows how evil he is by burning down a small village in the dead of winter. Did I mention the movie Conan? Kane makes his way to Nakano's cave and beheads him taking his magic for himself, but becomes trapped in the cave until the movie is made. While Macleod has been trying to forget his past, a female archaeologist Alex Johnson (Unger) has managed to uncover the cave of the Wizard Nakano. As you guessed Kane is released and promptly beheads one of his thugs and sends the other after Macleod. Macleod senses something is up, returns to New York where we have a badly acted cop attempting to get him for previous murders. He mostly fails and Alex tracks him down using a piece of tartan found in the cave that revels who he is. Kane also finds him and of course they duel. Macleod loses and runs back to Scotland for no real reason. There he finds time to make a new sword and have sex with Alex, the hot female lead. You have just witnessed the best part of the movie so don't worry about the end, but I'll tell you anyway. Macleod once again confronts him and defeats him in a very anti climatic ending. There can be only one.

Defiantly not the worst movie I have ever seen, but this is certainly worthy of mention. As stated in my title, the only real reason to watch this movie is for the very well done directors cut sex scene. Deborah Unger is no joke! She is not only hot but certainly knows how to handle Lambert. I guess I'm not surprised that it had to be in the directors cut with what they show. By far the only entertaining part of this film. From the fight scenes to the special effects there just isn't much great about this movie. The acting is terrible. I'm not sure who is worse Lambert who can't act at all or Van Peebles who looks like a total moron in the film and acts like a idiot. Is there any point to Kane driving like a maniac with Macleod's kid in the car? What a waste of time and film. Unger at least is hot and who cares if she acts bad. The special effects were OK. For the time I would say they were maybe average. The story was also poor. Mako is wasted as the oriental master and could have been much better. Scene after scene was just boring and a waste. As mentioned the car scene, also many flashbacks, some were OK. Kane going to a hooker and putting a condom in his mouth, pretty stupid. How about Lambert getting shot and jacked in the streets then taken to hospital and thrown in the mental ward. Stupid. Keep an eye out for Kane's sword Dark Magic witch is a finely crafted sword. The on locations of Scotland and other places are good, but I didn't come for geography I want a good movie. Overall a very poor movie that actually spawned more sequels. If you want the best sex scene in a non porn film, this is it, if not watch the superior TV series with Adrian Paul. 3 out of 10...There can be only one!

Freddy returns once again to kill the Elm Street kids, but has he met his match? We begin not long after part 3 with the surviving elm street kids now out of the institution and in high school. The character of Kristen, now played by Tuesday Night rather then Patricia Arquette, returns, but begins to think that Freddy is coming back. Kincad warns her not to bring him up or maybe he will come back. Well he does. This time in Kincaid's dream, he is in the junkyard where his bones were buried. His dog digs where the bones were laid to rest and pees out fire to let him out/bring him back to life. Yes, to this day I can't watch that part without laughing. Freddy axes Kincaid, Joey ( Joey was dork anyway) and is about to take out Kristen. Freddy knows that she is the last and needs her help if he is to kill more. He tricks her into using her power to bring others into her dreams. Her friend Alice (Lisa Wilcox), is pulled in, Kristen dies but gives her power to Alice first. Alice does not understand her power nor how to control it. She ends up bringing her friends and brother to Freddy one by one. As Freddy slashes through more kids, Alice absorbs their powers and becomes the "Dream Master." Eventually she confronts Freddy. In the final battle we are treated to a fight that is more than a little corny, but still delivers overall and sends Freddy to hell. But for good?

Nightmare on elm Street 4 is probably the last good elm street film made. I still like this move a lot and it is very entertaining. The story overall is OK but for the most part nothing new. You know the story of every series, of the evil one coming back to life to wreak havoc among the stars of the movie. One has to ask, where did they get the idea to revive Freddy by having a dog take fire leak on his bones? WTF? Not to say I'm not amused by this, but who wrote that in? The concept of having Alice gain all the powers that the other kids possessed in their dreams was new though and I thought was one of the better aspects of the movie. Alice's character is also a great replacement for Kristen's and would return in part 5 to wreck Freddy again. Alice is probably the best thing to happen to the series after the death of Nancy. The acting is nothing special, I'm sure you didn't come to see this expecting great acting an neither did I. Freddy once again uses great one liners before taking out his foes. Though they are still good they get worse as the series goes on. The special effects are probably where the movie shines most. Most notably the soul food scene (disgusting), the souls escaping his body, and the movie theater scene. Freddy this time around disposes of them in all sorts of ways. The dream dojo scene with Rick is one of the better scenes in the movie. Anyone notice Rick is that guy Deke from Saved By The Bell that wanted to beat up Screech? Others include Freddy sucking face, roach motel and wet dream, all entertaining. The choreography could have been better, sometimes when the actors where jumping around, it looked out of place. The soundtrack isn't bad either. Typical 80's stuff here, you either love or hate the 80's. Sinaid O'connor's I Want Your Hands On Me, is a good song. But the opening song Nightmare by Tuesday Night is a really great song. Overall a good Freddy film that is fun watch, but certainly don't take it seriously. 7 half out 10 stars.

Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton star as allied agents that are sent deep into German territory to rescue a captured American General. The general of course is hold up in a German castle/fortress that will be hard to crack and they must go up against some of Jerry's finest. "Only an Eagle can get there." Or in this case a helicopter as well. A suicide mission for sure, though one will find that hard to believe after viewing this movie. But the mission is in danger right from the start. There are double agents involved and twists are at every turn. Or so they said. Lt. Schaffer (Eastwood) and British Major Smith (Burton) parachute into the Bavarian Alps with some extras and make to their way to a German town garrisoned by many Wehrmacht and SS Units. Here they make contact with a couple of women who are secret agents. Ellison (Mary Ure) helps and they manage to ditch the guys who dropped in with them, cause there cover was blown. Eventually they make their way up to the fortress and conduct their operation and rescue the general, all while battling crack SS units with no casualties in sight. They finally escape and are whisked away by a stolen German Junkers plane the Brits are flying. On the plane Burton reveals that he knows the traitor is the colonel who sent them off on the first place. Rather then face a trial the traitor jumps to his death and the movie ends.

This movie was a big disappointment to say the least. Eastwood and Burton are totally wasted in this film. Obviously it was for the star power that gave this film any kind of reason to see it. What should have been a great move with an equally great story falls flat. From start to finish Eastwood and Burton walk through their roles like a couple of wooden actors. The story itself starts out interesting enough, but becomes totally confusing and left me with the feeling of "who cares" when the secrets come to light. Why does there seem to be so much praise for the Gestapo agent? He looks more like a blonde clown with a wig then a scary character. The only characters that came across right seem to be the high ranking Germans.

The story may not have been the worst part, but more important was the lack of accuracy in this movie. As a historian I found I quit laughable that a helicopter was being used by the Nazis to fly in some General.???? In WW II?! The Nazis were very far ahead in jet propulsion, but I was unaware that they had also managed to develop working helicopters that were that advanced. Only the most limited version would have been around. Its one thing for movies of old to use painted American vehicles for something else because in many cases we did not have them or could not reproduce them on screen, but such a blatant inaccuracy is beyond stupid.

Another bad point is that they fail to really show the "Language Barrier" that would obviously exist between the nations involved. Well Hollywood decided that they would just make everyone speak English and forget about the problems involved. Since they are secret agents /special forces they would be trained in duel languages, but at least put on a decent accent. In other great movies of the time they address this in a better way, such as The Dirty Dozen or The Longest Day. At least some Germans speak German though.

The action gets to be repetitive after awhile and quit fake even for Hollywood. Do you really expect me to believe Eastwood would hold of so many crack SS troops so easily. And on they went nailing Germans from far away with guns, that were not all that accurate and the Germans of course missing every shot. We are treated to more and more scenes that are just laughable to watch. There are to many to mention but here are just a few.

1. As they land one of their comrades is killed, a soldier asks should we bury him or leave him here. Burton says let the snow cover him To bad its not snowing!

2. If you are sneaking into enemy lines and blending in, why would you openly discus the mission at hand in a public pub.

3. The stars are being taken away in a car, Eastwood needs to "tie his shoe", then overpowers the enemy and the car crashes killing all but they are barley injured.

4. Why would Eastwood and Burton who are armed better and have hostages give up their weapons to a clown who has a pistol?

5. How much dynamite did they pack in those backpacks? No matter when or where they pulled one out and had it ready to do their biding. Even Rambo only carried so many detonators. And don't get me started on how they worked.

Overall this move should have been great but turns out very poor and rather comical in many instances. If they had done a better job on acting, dialogue and actions scenes it may have been good. If your looking for good WW II movies there are far better ones such as The Dirty Dozen and The Longest Day. Eastwood made so many great movies but this is obviously not one of them. Overall a 4 1/2 out of 10 stars for this. The Iron Maiden song of the same name is far better.

The third installment of the popular Elm Street series is a great one and maybe the most entertaining of the series. 3 may or may not pick up where 2 left off. The characters from 2 are never mentioned and since 2 was not welcomed warmly by the Elm Street crowd it may be likely that they acted as if two had not happened. So viewing one you can go straight 3 and not miss anything, though 2 is one of the funniest movies you will ever see. Now a girl, Kristen Parker (Arquette) is being tormented by Freddy in her nightmares. Slitting her wrist she is put into a mental hospital where all the young patients have something in common ..... Krueger has been stalking them too. Soon Nancy (Langenkamp) from part one returns, but is now an assistant who is working on groundbreaking studies in dreams. Dr. Gordon is skeptical but has to deal with her. Kristen pulls her into her dreams and finds out that she was once stalked by Freddy. As the kids get knocked off one by one, Nancy brings them together and talks Kristen into bringing them all into her dream. In their dreams they are able to now poses powers that they only dreamed of. "In my dreams I am the Wizard Master." Pure Cheese! To funny! Freddy breaks up the party and captures Joey. Nancy and Gordon are fired, but have to rescue the kids from Freddy. Dr. Gordon having talked with a "nun" finds that Freddy was the "son of a hundred maniacs" and that he must rest in peace if he is to be defeated. They track down Nancy's dad (John Saxon) so they can find the bones and bury him. Nancy takes the kids into the dreams to get Joey and find Krueger while Gordon her dad find dem bones. The battle ensues in the dreams some of the kids are killed, some in rather funny situations. "Sorry kid! I don't believe in fairy tales!" Freddy's bones come to life and kill Nancy's dad but the Dr. Manages to pour holy water on him and defeat him. Not before Nancy is killed.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3 is probably the best one to watch in the series. Part one may have better writing, but this one is great to watch with more action and better special effects. Freddy as a large worm and a puppet doll are great. This is also began Freddy's great one liners before he iced a person. Plenty of funny ones some that can't be mentioned here. Probably the best idea of the movie was bring back Langenkamp to play Nancy again and link here with the kids. Saxon is appreciated as well. Arquette is awesome and cute, it's to bad she didn't come back for part 4, but who could blame her? Special appearance by Dick Cavett and Zsa Zsa Gabor are funny, but are there for no reason. The story roles along with no boredom and great kills to boot. Especially the kid being played as a puppet by Freddy and with out a doubt when the lame "Wizard Master" getting his. Hahahah what a dork. For fans of heavy metal, me being one, the soundtrack is great. Dokken did the entire movie. Dream Warriors and Into The Fire are among their best songs. Overall as a horror movie goes this is a 10 big time, don't miss it, cause they don't make them like this anymore!