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Reviews
Speak No Evil (2022)
Was it intentional?
This movie features the dumbest couple on the surface of the earth, the two of whom possess the survival instincts of a brain-damaged hamster. Is that on purpose?
What starts out as initially dismissive odd behavior from our antagonists quickly becomes unsettling, eventually into horrifying. Our "heroes" Björn and Louise not only allow everything bad that happens TO happen, but are given at least 2 opportunies to leave the terrible scenario they're in that they squander, ending right back in the hands of the movie's villains.
Don't even get me started on this dumpster fire ending. Everything the movie did well; building tension, forshadowing, and revealing what was at stake, was undermined by this ending. Two parents allow their daughter to be held down in front of them and have her tongue cut out with scissors, putting essentially no fight at all, then simply allow themselves to be beaten to death with rocks. Absolutely mind-numbing.
Some other reviews state the couple's incompetence was intentional. Even if that's true, that doesn't mean the movie isn't bad. You know what's scary? Doing everything you can and still losing. You know what ISN'T scary, or compelling? Stupid, unlikeable protagonists who allow themselves to be beaten. I want my 97 minutes back, ********.
She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (2022)
Overhated
The only people insisting this is "the worst show ever" or the "death of marvel" are man-children with an irrational hatred of women. It's far from the best, but it is by no means a bad show. It's entertaining, it's relevant, the performances are enjoyable, and fan-favorite cameos just add to the fun. Marvel fans just love to whine, cry, and complain any time women are involved. Everyone loved Deadpool, but somehow She-Hulk is "annoying" and "cringeworthy." Tatiana Maslany does a pretty good job as the lead, the show is fun, there are callbacks all the way back to the start of the MCU, and the show even brought back Daredevil. Ignore anyone who says this is the worst of Marve; they're being dramatic babies. Definitely worth a watch.
Haute tension (2003)
Maybe I'm just stupid?
Obvious spoiler warning, but the plot twist just doesn't make sense to me. Marie is the killer, but she was there pleasuring herself with a severed head BEFORE arriving with Alex? She's inside with Alex when her brother is shot, but is also the one outside shooting him? Who does she beat and strangle to death near the end of the movie? She separately drove 2 different vehicles from the gas station to the forest near the end of the film? That doesn't even make sense. She's seen in the same frame as the "killer" several times. There's literally no explanation for any of this, making the "twist" hold next to no weight. If your explanation is that Marie was imagining all of it, then nothing the audience has seen really matters at all, so what's the point? All in all: uninspired, lazy, and perhaps most egregiously, boring.