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Ghulert
Reviews
The Village (2004)
Fails miserably and doesn't even fit into the horror/mystery category at all
This "horror/mystery" movie has two main problems: it has not a single remotely scary moment, and it isn't too mysterious after half of the film. The myriads of plot holes and inconsistencies don't make it better. I think I won't spoil anything if I say that there's an oh-so-surprising twist at the end, but this can't save the movie, it actually makes it worse: for one you can see it coming quite early and then it's simply stupid.
The cast features some great names and some of the characters have the potential to be interesting, but ultimately all are bland and forgettable. I acknowledge trying to make a horror/mystery flick without the exhausted alien/monster clichés, unfortunately it fails miserably and doesn't even fit into that category at all.
The Mothman Prophecies (2002)
horror?
The Mothman Prophecies is a "horror" movie, that has absolutely no suspense, is not creepy or scary at all, just incredibly boring. It's story is pure nonsense, the actors try their best but fail. In short: A mess. Better watch X-Files, it's the same mystery crap, but you won't waste as much time.
Bandits (2001)
If you are are terribly bored...
... and have too much money you could watch this one. But I wouldn't recommend it. Compared to all the other crap Hollywood is spitting out, Bandits is decent. The storyline is brainless and foreseeable. The jokes are mostly old and unfunny. The acting is plain bad (will Bruce Willis ever learn to act?) to mediocre (we have seen far better performances by Blanchett and Thornton). But as I said, by Hollywood standards Bandits is a decent movie. On the other hand you could waste your time with other things, i.e. counting the waterdrops in the atlantic ocean or teaching Willis how to act (okay, don't even try that, it's hopeless).
Tank Girl (1995)
so bad that it hurts...
Maybe it's because I'm no fan of the comics (but if the comics are of the same "quality" as the movie, it's hard to believe there are any), but this has to be one of the worst movies ever made. Non-existent plot, laughable acting, dumb dialogue... This movie is so bad that it hurts. A lot. That some people actually gave this one 10/10 is an insult to any good or at least mediocre (or at least bad) movie. If you hate yourself, then watch Tank Girl! On another thought, if you hate yourself THAT much, maybe you should just commit suicide... My rating: -34/10
Hannibal (2001)
I didn't expect anything, but was still disappointed
I haven't seen Silence of the Lambs, nor did read the book. So I didn't expect much from Hannibal, but I was still disappointed. The best in this movie are the actors. They are all at least decent (but I was somewhat disappointed by Anthony Hopkins after I heard so much about his "brilliant performance" in SotL). But the misery starts when you look at the laughable plot, the unnecessary gore, the ridiculous ending... Stay away from this one and don't waste your time. Rating: 3/10