I'm not inheritantly against a movie containing a lot of dialogue, but this film is ridiculous. Seven nuclear fall out survivors all miraculously show up at a house spared by the devastation because of surrounding hills. Once everyone has settled in they talk and talk and talk...... And well, nothing much ever happens. I understand people having memories of watching this film as a child, or whatever, but that doesn't make this a good movie. The technical and make up FX are spaced so far apart, they're almost no existent. And as far as excessive dialogue in a film, at least write in a way that keeps viewers interested: The dialogue is simply stilted and uninteresting. I guess if you saw this in a theatre on a Saturday afternoon when you were twelve you might have fond memories of it. Otherwise, I don't for the life of me understand what the appeal of this film is besides it being made by Corman.
Reviews
81 Reviews
Halloween
(I) (2018)
Oh, so many questions about this movie.......
19 October 2018
Warning: Spoilers
I enjoyed Carpenter's soundtrack and seeing Nick Castle and Jamie L. Curtis in action, but I was left with some puzzling questions.... Really, I mean, a mental institution allowing a psychotic inmate to be yelled at by an investigative reporter to pick up his killing mask on the 40 year anniversary of the killings? The state of Illinois allows the original killing mask to be borrowed by a reporter? The father saying that he spilled peanut butter on his penis? Transporting a notorious serial killer in a bus with low level offenders? And how did those reporters just happen to run into Myers at that gas station? That black guy with the big cowboy hat? Low brow humor that doesn't work to fill in the holes? The new doctor Loomis wanting to see what it's like to kill people? Myers could have snapped Laurie's throat at least three times but kept playing with her? Laurie so over the top ridiculous she builds an underground bunker under her kitchen? Then she burns her compound to the ground? Was that a victory for her, to burn her house down?
A total let down for me....... I didn't even think the Halloween background setting was all that strong either.... Another B entry into the Halloween franchise...
Crosstown
(2013)
Beautiful To Me
7 July 2015
**********EIGHT OUT OF TEN STARS**********
El Salvadorian refugee background: In June 1971, President Nixon declared a "war on drugs." He dramatically increased the size and presence of federal drug control agencies, and pushed through measures such as mandatory sentencing and no-knock warrants. Richard Nixon (now dead) created a power vacuum in Central and South America, creating Mexican and Brazilian Cartels that would eventually lay a violent and bloody siege upon the poor people of El Salvador.
Fast forward to 1981, when El Salvador's military leaders began to employ "scorched earth" tactics in their battle against left-wing guerrillas. In Spanish the saying was "sacar el pes del agua," or "remove the fish from the water." Total warfare and destruction was the objective, and the policy resulted in a brutal massacre in the small town of El Mozote. Over the course of three days in January, 1981, approximately 1000 people, almost the entire population of Mozote, were tortured and slaughtered. The American government was intimately involved with El Salvador's right wing government before and after the massacre. We provided them with weapons, money, and political support for a full 11 years after the massacre.
El Salvador's long civil war between savagely repressive U.S.-funded military forces and a leftist guerrilla army ended in 1992. But while the peace accords ended the "war of bullets," the political, social, and economic war began again, and under the rules of the right, the rules of capitalism, and the rules of the United States. In this context, the triumph of the FMLN (Farabundo Martí National Liberation Front)—the former guerrillas—in the last two presidential elections is quite remarkable. The victories of Mauricio Funes in 2009 and Salvador Sánchez Cerén in 2014 have threatened to disrupt the Salvadoran government's historic pattern of compliance with U.S. interests.
The Obama administration has sought to ensure the adoption of corporate-friendly policies in El Salvador by conditioning Millennium Challenge Corporation (MCC) development aid upon a slew of neo-liberal reforms that include privatization, the relaxation of business regulations, and the enforcement of trade provisions that privilege U.S. corporations.
"Greencard Warriors" has a very special place in my heart: Directed and written by Miriam Kruishoop, "Greencard Warriros", is a touching story of an El Salvadorian family in the United States illegally, trying to better their lives. Helle Jensen takes the helm as cinematographer and along with Kruishoop, beautifully captures the dark Gothic beauty of Latino culture in Los Angeles. I was particularly moved by the opening title sequence showing brothers Angel and Beto riding harmoniously together through their neighborhood; accompanied by the song "I'm an Ese" by Quennine. The Los Angeles city scape certainly isn't wasted in this film, which includes fly over excerpts of sprawling residential LA, many incredible street locale shots, and several ultra realistic Latino gang sequences. Interior shots of Jesus's home utilize close up camera shots displaying shadows and colors emphasizing the extreme pain of the family members, yet emulating a dark Hispanic beauty inherent in hard lined facial features and dark piercing eyes.
Manny Perez stars as Jesus Garza, the struggling family's father and turns in an incredible performance, along with his wife Rosie played by Christianne Christensen. Their oldest son Beto, played by actor Mario Ardila Jr., is quite convincing as a young man turned gang member in effort to bring in money. Angel, their middle child, is beautifully portrayed by actor Angel Amaral; a young El Salvadorian left with few if any choices in his family's struggle for survival. Other acting notables include Cesar Garcia as Mad Dog and Maynor Alvarado as Joker, who both turn in very realistic portrayals of Hispanic street gang leaders.
The plot is based upon Jesus being convinced by two dishonest Army recruiters that the only hope for Jesus and his family's quest for US citizenship is for his son Beto to join the Army. As Beto spirals further into gang life, Jesus pressures his oldest son to join the Army. Beto finally agrees to join the Army in an effort to help his family achieve legal status. After Beto leaves the barrio for the Army, things go down hill for Jesus's family: Angel is accosted by and eventually succumbs to the pressures of the neighborhood gang Beto was involved with and Jesus runs into trouble with the LAPD; forcing him to go into hiding... The very last scene of "Greencard Warriors" featuring Jesus's wife and young daughter is both heartbreaking and angering to say the least...
On closing, the cinematography by Helle Jensen is so moving and encapsulates the Los Angeles Latino struggle. The intermittent use of Spanish and English is masterfully accomplished and is something more filmmakers should try incorporating! Director/ writer Miriam Kruishoop hits a home run with this tragic story of unimaginable pain and heartache. As far as post production goes, this film was wonderfully edited and masterfully mixed with sound effects and music. "Greencard Warriors" strives to address so many different societal issues... 90 minutes isn't enough! The film does feel rushed in certain parts because Kruisshoop has packed so much emotion and many societal issues into one film. This review has only touched on the very basic details of this film. I personally own this film on DVD and highly recommend it to anyone interested in a dose of reality.
El Salvadorian refugee background: In June 1971, President Nixon declared a "war on drugs." He dramatically increased the size and presence of federal drug control agencies, and pushed through measures such as mandatory sentencing and no-knock warrants. Richard Nixon (now dead) created a power vacuum in Central and South America, creating Mexican and Brazilian Cartels that would eventually lay a violent and bloody siege upon the poor people of El Salvador.
Fast forward to 1981, when El Salvador's military leaders began to employ "scorched earth" tactics in their battle against left-wing guerrillas. In Spanish the saying was "sacar el pes del agua," or "remove the fish from the water." Total warfare and destruction was the objective, and the policy resulted in a brutal massacre in the small town of El Mozote. Over the course of three days in January, 1981, approximately 1000 people, almost the entire population of Mozote, were tortured and slaughtered. The American government was intimately involved with El Salvador's right wing government before and after the massacre. We provided them with weapons, money, and political support for a full 11 years after the massacre.
El Salvador's long civil war between savagely repressive U.S.-funded military forces and a leftist guerrilla army ended in 1992. But while the peace accords ended the "war of bullets," the political, social, and economic war began again, and under the rules of the right, the rules of capitalism, and the rules of the United States. In this context, the triumph of the FMLN (Farabundo Martí National Liberation Front)—the former guerrillas—in the last two presidential elections is quite remarkable. The victories of Mauricio Funes in 2009 and Salvador Sánchez Cerén in 2014 have threatened to disrupt the Salvadoran government's historic pattern of compliance with U.S. interests.
The Obama administration has sought to ensure the adoption of corporate-friendly policies in El Salvador by conditioning Millennium Challenge Corporation (MCC) development aid upon a slew of neo-liberal reforms that include privatization, the relaxation of business regulations, and the enforcement of trade provisions that privilege U.S. corporations.
"Greencard Warriors" has a very special place in my heart: Directed and written by Miriam Kruishoop, "Greencard Warriros", is a touching story of an El Salvadorian family in the United States illegally, trying to better their lives. Helle Jensen takes the helm as cinematographer and along with Kruishoop, beautifully captures the dark Gothic beauty of Latino culture in Los Angeles. I was particularly moved by the opening title sequence showing brothers Angel and Beto riding harmoniously together through their neighborhood; accompanied by the song "I'm an Ese" by Quennine. The Los Angeles city scape certainly isn't wasted in this film, which includes fly over excerpts of sprawling residential LA, many incredible street locale shots, and several ultra realistic Latino gang sequences. Interior shots of Jesus's home utilize close up camera shots displaying shadows and colors emphasizing the extreme pain of the family members, yet emulating a dark Hispanic beauty inherent in hard lined facial features and dark piercing eyes.
Manny Perez stars as Jesus Garza, the struggling family's father and turns in an incredible performance, along with his wife Rosie played by Christianne Christensen. Their oldest son Beto, played by actor Mario Ardila Jr., is quite convincing as a young man turned gang member in effort to bring in money. Angel, their middle child, is beautifully portrayed by actor Angel Amaral; a young El Salvadorian left with few if any choices in his family's struggle for survival. Other acting notables include Cesar Garcia as Mad Dog and Maynor Alvarado as Joker, who both turn in very realistic portrayals of Hispanic street gang leaders.
The plot is based upon Jesus being convinced by two dishonest Army recruiters that the only hope for Jesus and his family's quest for US citizenship is for his son Beto to join the Army. As Beto spirals further into gang life, Jesus pressures his oldest son to join the Army. Beto finally agrees to join the Army in an effort to help his family achieve legal status. After Beto leaves the barrio for the Army, things go down hill for Jesus's family: Angel is accosted by and eventually succumbs to the pressures of the neighborhood gang Beto was involved with and Jesus runs into trouble with the LAPD; forcing him to go into hiding... The very last scene of "Greencard Warriors" featuring Jesus's wife and young daughter is both heartbreaking and angering to say the least...
On closing, the cinematography by Helle Jensen is so moving and encapsulates the Los Angeles Latino struggle. The intermittent use of Spanish and English is masterfully accomplished and is something more filmmakers should try incorporating! Director/ writer Miriam Kruishoop hits a home run with this tragic story of unimaginable pain and heartache. As far as post production goes, this film was wonderfully edited and masterfully mixed with sound effects and music. "Greencard Warriors" strives to address so many different societal issues... 90 minutes isn't enough! The film does feel rushed in certain parts because Kruisshoop has packed so much emotion and many societal issues into one film. This review has only touched on the very basic details of this film. I personally own this film on DVD and highly recommend it to anyone interested in a dose of reality.
5 American Kids - 5 American Handguns
(1995 TV Movie)
Five Tragic Stories of American Gun Culture
4 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
*******SEVEN OUT OF TEN STARS*******
Vince DiPersio and Bill Guttentag collaborate as a writer/ director team on this poignant 1995 documentary chronicling five tragic stories involving senseless gun violence. From a technical film-making perspective, "5 American Kids" is very well shot, edited, and sound mixed; it's a very well produced documentary! Admittedly, some of the gun statistics are sightly outdated, but that shouldn't be held against the other many merits of this film!
The film is broken down into five utterly devastating stories of senseless gun deaths intertwined with :
1) A toddler shoots his play friend after they stumble upon two guns in the parent's bedroom. It turns out the father didn't properly store the weapons after shooting some gophers weeks earlier 2) A fourteen year old boy commits suicide with his step father's unsecured side arm. His step father was a law enforcer at the time 3) Three teen friends decide to play with one of their parent's unsecured firearms during a football half time show. One of the boys ends up shot to death accidentally 4) A fourteen year old juvenile delinquent guns down a local police officer over a stolen car in small town America 5) A studious 15 year old boy walking to a community Christmas gathering is killed in the cross fire of rival gangs.
The first three stories are dealing with irresponsible gun storage in homes that have children and teens, while the last two stories are addressing the lack of parental upbringing or family values. I would be surprised if the teen in part four or the gang members in part five had any kind of stable father figure. And while it's easy for us to blame the parents in these types of tragedies, it's also important for Americans to ask some important questions about the overwhelming prevalence of gun violence in USA culture.
Rounding out statistics on gun deaths in the US shows us that annually twice as many people die from self inflicted gun fire, opposed to actual homicide related gun deaths. So we're roughly talking about 10,000 homicides and 20,0000 gun related suicides annually. The big issue with gun related suicides is that access to guns allow people to kill themselves in split second decisions of extreme emotion or depression; whereas most other forms of suicide require more planning and forethought. Easy access to firearms is undoubtedly a major contribution to a high American suicide rate; and claiming these poor people would've found a way to kill themselves regardless simply isn't an accurate statement.
Listen, I'm not anti gun per-say, but Americans need to ask themselves why the United States has such an extreme culture of gun violence? Why are we so obsessed with guns? Why are 30,000 gun deaths a year so acceptable to us? Why does a country like Canada, also a heavy gun culture, have a fraction of gun deaths when compared to America? And why the heck are parents so darn irresponsible when it comes to proper gun storage?
Vince DiPersio and Bill Guttentag collaborate as a writer/ director team on this poignant 1995 documentary chronicling five tragic stories involving senseless gun violence. From a technical film-making perspective, "5 American Kids" is very well shot, edited, and sound mixed; it's a very well produced documentary! Admittedly, some of the gun statistics are sightly outdated, but that shouldn't be held against the other many merits of this film!
The film is broken down into five utterly devastating stories of senseless gun deaths intertwined with :
1) A toddler shoots his play friend after they stumble upon two guns in the parent's bedroom. It turns out the father didn't properly store the weapons after shooting some gophers weeks earlier 2) A fourteen year old boy commits suicide with his step father's unsecured side arm. His step father was a law enforcer at the time 3) Three teen friends decide to play with one of their parent's unsecured firearms during a football half time show. One of the boys ends up shot to death accidentally 4) A fourteen year old juvenile delinquent guns down a local police officer over a stolen car in small town America 5) A studious 15 year old boy walking to a community Christmas gathering is killed in the cross fire of rival gangs.
The first three stories are dealing with irresponsible gun storage in homes that have children and teens, while the last two stories are addressing the lack of parental upbringing or family values. I would be surprised if the teen in part four or the gang members in part five had any kind of stable father figure. And while it's easy for us to blame the parents in these types of tragedies, it's also important for Americans to ask some important questions about the overwhelming prevalence of gun violence in USA culture.
Rounding out statistics on gun deaths in the US shows us that annually twice as many people die from self inflicted gun fire, opposed to actual homicide related gun deaths. So we're roughly talking about 10,000 homicides and 20,0000 gun related suicides annually. The big issue with gun related suicides is that access to guns allow people to kill themselves in split second decisions of extreme emotion or depression; whereas most other forms of suicide require more planning and forethought. Easy access to firearms is undoubtedly a major contribution to a high American suicide rate; and claiming these poor people would've found a way to kill themselves regardless simply isn't an accurate statement.
Listen, I'm not anti gun per-say, but Americans need to ask themselves why the United States has such an extreme culture of gun violence? Why are we so obsessed with guns? Why are 30,000 gun deaths a year so acceptable to us? Why does a country like Canada, also a heavy gun culture, have a fraction of gun deaths when compared to America? And why the heck are parents so darn irresponsible when it comes to proper gun storage?
Ghosts of Mars
(2001)
$28,000,000? For A Model Train? 4/10
18 August 2013
$28 million on this pile of crap? Where did the money go? Yes, I'm a fan of Carpenter, but not on this one. Carpenter always has had a sort of cheesiness element comprising his films, but this one is inundated with cheese, in fact it's pure cheese. "GOM" isn't scary, it's just plain annoying. And while I enjoy much of Carpenter's work, I never thought it was deserving as having his name proudly displayed before the title of every film he directs. I can name about twenty directors that are much better than John Carpenter. I believe Carpenter took an extended leave from film making after this film, which was a good idea; this guy is just burnt out. But the big problem with "GOM" is that the acting is atrocious! And I mean atrocious.
Natasha Henstridge's performance as Lieutenant Melanie Ballard is literally one of the most unlikeable and unbelievable performances I've ever seen. Henstridge couldn't act her way out of a Kleenex box. Pam Grier's performance as Commander Helena Braddock is ridiculous and revolting, especially the scene where Braddock romantically hits on Ballard!? Give me a break! Grier also turns in an equally poor acting performance. Then there's Jason Statham as Sgt Jericho Butler, another tough guy acting moron that plays his own selfish egomaniac personality in every acting role he's paid for. Statham's character, while fighting for his life, also finds numerous occasions to hit on Braddock's character; it's annoying and doesn't work. Ice Cube also plays himself as Desolation Williams: An ignorant no talent thug crook, who's only importance are his equally ignorant nasty friends whom look up to his terrible personality. Ice Cube has never been an acting talent and never will be. Please, may I never have to see his ugly face in another film ever. I could go on through the list of supporting actors, but all that needs to be said is there wasn't one redeeming performance.
Moving away from the horrific casting decisions, I can basically rip apart every aspect of the production end of this steaming pile of crap. The script is mind numbingly stupid, which is a bad combination considering the terrible acting talent they brought to this production. This also has to be one the worst sound scores Carpenter has ever attached to one his films. I own the full studio sound scores for many of Carpenter's earliest films; but this sound score is just flat out nauseating. It's heavily based on head ache inducing heavy metal by the likes of ANTHRAX! Yikes. As for the film taking place in the year 2071, the technology, including guns, vehicles, and buildings, look eerily similar to late 90's design and influence; really, give me a break. The train special effects look like advanced Japanese Godzilla puppeteer effects. This flick is just a big strike out all the way around.
Natasha Henstridge's performance as Lieutenant Melanie Ballard is literally one of the most unlikeable and unbelievable performances I've ever seen. Henstridge couldn't act her way out of a Kleenex box. Pam Grier's performance as Commander Helena Braddock is ridiculous and revolting, especially the scene where Braddock romantically hits on Ballard!? Give me a break! Grier also turns in an equally poor acting performance. Then there's Jason Statham as Sgt Jericho Butler, another tough guy acting moron that plays his own selfish egomaniac personality in every acting role he's paid for. Statham's character, while fighting for his life, also finds numerous occasions to hit on Braddock's character; it's annoying and doesn't work. Ice Cube also plays himself as Desolation Williams: An ignorant no talent thug crook, who's only importance are his equally ignorant nasty friends whom look up to his terrible personality. Ice Cube has never been an acting talent and never will be. Please, may I never have to see his ugly face in another film ever. I could go on through the list of supporting actors, but all that needs to be said is there wasn't one redeeming performance.
Moving away from the horrific casting decisions, I can basically rip apart every aspect of the production end of this steaming pile of crap. The script is mind numbingly stupid, which is a bad combination considering the terrible acting talent they brought to this production. This also has to be one the worst sound scores Carpenter has ever attached to one his films. I own the full studio sound scores for many of Carpenter's earliest films; but this sound score is just flat out nauseating. It's heavily based on head ache inducing heavy metal by the likes of ANTHRAX! Yikes. As for the film taking place in the year 2071, the technology, including guns, vehicles, and buildings, look eerily similar to late 90's design and influence; really, give me a break. The train special effects look like advanced Japanese Godzilla puppeteer effects. This flick is just a big strike out all the way around.
Cops
(1989–2023)
The War on Drugs is A Sham: 4/10
1 August 2013
Yes, in my estimate, the majority of people arrested on this program deserve to be arrested: Drunk drivers, robbers/ thieves, domestic abusers, wreck less drivers, child abusers.... But what bothers me is that way too many non violent suspects are arrested for minor possessions of marijuana, cocaine, crack.... These people don't need to be locked up with violent offenders. The problem is that many of the officers on this program display behavior that's reprehensible, ignorant, and nasty. These bastard cops are ruining poor people's lives even more than they are already ruined; and many times over non-violent offenses. I shouldn't even watch this program, because I mostly just get upset at the ridiculousness and nastiness displayed by these so called great citizen cops. The problem IS, these cops are making decent people into criminals. The problem IS the War on Drugs is a terrible sham that's morphed into one of the biggest money making businesses in the country. Do you know how many GOP law enforcement flakes would be out of work if marijuana would be legalized? Tens of thousands. Do you think they want that? Clearly most creeps in law enforcement are more concerned with their fat cat pensions than truly helping people and society.
Friday the 13th: The Series
(1987–1990)
Late Night Saturday Classic
27 July 2013
******Six Out of Ten Stars******
Actors Louise Robey, Chris Wiggins, and John D. LeMay star in this 80's late night horror thriller about demonic antiques possessed by the devil. Our three protagonists inherit an antique shop from a deceased relative that had made a pact with the Devil. Our caring lead actors agree it's their responsibility to reacquire demonic items their deceased Satanic Uncle had sold as part of a deal with the Devil.
"Friday's Curse" is actually quite a creative premise, and with stronger writing may have been able to continue for more than three mere seasons. I'm not sure what happened by the third season, but the weekly tales really got sloppy and unbelievable. LeMay left the third season, leading to Steve Monarque taking his place; which never really worked for most viewers.
I recall watching these episodes as they were airing new, and the first two seasons were mostly incredible! The level of violence was criticized heavily back then by several conservative groups, but most viewers loved it! The special effects were decent, despite it's obvious low budget premise. I always believed it was fairly well filmed from a technical perspective, despite the series delving into the hammy side of production at times.
One item of mention many complain about is the original title of "Friday the 13th the Series", and I agree with them. It was a tremendous mistake to use the title familiarized with the Jason Vorhees series. IMO, the title confusion doomed this cool series to a very short production run. What marketing moron ever thought it would work to rip off the Jason title? Also mentioned previously, was the God awful third season writing. Some third series episodes are flat out idiotic, not to say there aren't a few gems in season three.
Also a noteworthy mention is the full series soundtrack composed by Fred Mollin, which I own on DVD. Mollin's compilation is a wonderful 80's synthetic horror tribute album. Additionally, the complete series collection is readily available usually for around $50; well worth the price. On a closing note, producer Frank Mancuso Jr. should be credited for his perseverance and dedication in getting this thing off the ground, and actors Robey and Wiggins turned in solid performances every week. The only thing else I can say is they're were too many writers and directors involved in this series, and it clearly shows in many episodes lacking in linearity.
Actors Louise Robey, Chris Wiggins, and John D. LeMay star in this 80's late night horror thriller about demonic antiques possessed by the devil. Our three protagonists inherit an antique shop from a deceased relative that had made a pact with the Devil. Our caring lead actors agree it's their responsibility to reacquire demonic items their deceased Satanic Uncle had sold as part of a deal with the Devil.
"Friday's Curse" is actually quite a creative premise, and with stronger writing may have been able to continue for more than three mere seasons. I'm not sure what happened by the third season, but the weekly tales really got sloppy and unbelievable. LeMay left the third season, leading to Steve Monarque taking his place; which never really worked for most viewers.
I recall watching these episodes as they were airing new, and the first two seasons were mostly incredible! The level of violence was criticized heavily back then by several conservative groups, but most viewers loved it! The special effects were decent, despite it's obvious low budget premise. I always believed it was fairly well filmed from a technical perspective, despite the series delving into the hammy side of production at times.
One item of mention many complain about is the original title of "Friday the 13th the Series", and I agree with them. It was a tremendous mistake to use the title familiarized with the Jason Vorhees series. IMO, the title confusion doomed this cool series to a very short production run. What marketing moron ever thought it would work to rip off the Jason title? Also mentioned previously, was the God awful third season writing. Some third series episodes are flat out idiotic, not to say there aren't a few gems in season three.
Also a noteworthy mention is the full series soundtrack composed by Fred Mollin, which I own on DVD. Mollin's compilation is a wonderful 80's synthetic horror tribute album. Additionally, the complete series collection is readily available usually for around $50; well worth the price. On a closing note, producer Frank Mancuso Jr. should be credited for his perseverance and dedication in getting this thing off the ground, and actors Robey and Wiggins turned in solid performances every week. The only thing else I can say is they're were too many writers and directors involved in this series, and it clearly shows in many episodes lacking in linearity.
Dog the Bounty Hunter
(2003–2012)
Dear Dog:
29 June 2013
Dear Dog: You are a disgusting piece of racist white trash and your inbred kids and fat wife make me sick. Do you really think that Jesus Christ is OK with what you do to poor people? Your children look like inbreds and your wife needs a breast reduction operation. Do you really need a convoy of three SUV's to track down washed up drug addicts and drunks? You're a hypocrite of the worst kind sir. Do really think you're a man of God? You're an abomination of humanity with absolutely no clue of what's really going on around you. Your posse of pussies makes me sick to my stomach. A & E channel used to be a classy channel, which makes me just flabbergasted as to why they ever picked up this trash? Your hair reminds me of a bad WWF nightmare from 1986. I'm going to recommend the FBI start their search for Jimmy Hoffa in your scalp. I think the worst punishment for the poor wimps you thug would be having to watch you and your gorilla tits wife have sex.
Dragnet 1967
(1967–1970)
Campy Classic
27 April 2013
*****Five out of Ten Stars*****
Producer Jack Webb was known as an extremely economical TV producer: His Mark VII productions routinely used minimal sets, even more minimal wardrobes (Friday and Gannon seem to wear the same suits over entire seasons, which minimized continuity issues) and maintained a relatively tight-knit stock company that consisted of scale-paid regulars who routinely appeared as irate crime victims, policewomen, miscreants and clueless parents of misguided youth. Which is pretty evident if you follow the show consistently. In fact I find it comical, in an annoying way, that some actors clearly play good characters in some episodes and criminals in other episodes.
In real life Jack Webb was a hard worker that had a great sense of humor, loved to drink, and smoke cigarettes. That being said, "Dragnet" is over-rated. PLEASE let me explain: Webb's decision to have actors read off cue cards and read their lines monotone isn't my idea of a method in making a TV show more realistic; which was Webb's reasoning behind this production decision. Also, the whole idea of these stories being real life depictions of actual events is somewhat misleading. These stories were BASED on real cases. Liberties were clearly taken in the writing department in an effort to make the stories more palatable to Webb's goals and the main TV viewing audience.
So, don't' get me wrong; I like watching Dragnet. Webb's introductory history lessons about Los Angeles are really quite enjoyable at the beginning of each episode. It's also great to see the location shots filmed in the Los Angeles area at that time in the late 60s: It's classic America before LA turned into the sess-pit it is now. Putting it into perspective, "Dragnet" has some endearing qualities, but Jack Webb's cue card production style gets an F from me.
Producer Jack Webb was known as an extremely economical TV producer: His Mark VII productions routinely used minimal sets, even more minimal wardrobes (Friday and Gannon seem to wear the same suits over entire seasons, which minimized continuity issues) and maintained a relatively tight-knit stock company that consisted of scale-paid regulars who routinely appeared as irate crime victims, policewomen, miscreants and clueless parents of misguided youth. Which is pretty evident if you follow the show consistently. In fact I find it comical, in an annoying way, that some actors clearly play good characters in some episodes and criminals in other episodes.
In real life Jack Webb was a hard worker that had a great sense of humor, loved to drink, and smoke cigarettes. That being said, "Dragnet" is over-rated. PLEASE let me explain: Webb's decision to have actors read off cue cards and read their lines monotone isn't my idea of a method in making a TV show more realistic; which was Webb's reasoning behind this production decision. Also, the whole idea of these stories being real life depictions of actual events is somewhat misleading. These stories were BASED on real cases. Liberties were clearly taken in the writing department in an effort to make the stories more palatable to Webb's goals and the main TV viewing audience.
So, don't' get me wrong; I like watching Dragnet. Webb's introductory history lessons about Los Angeles are really quite enjoyable at the beginning of each episode. It's also great to see the location shots filmed in the Los Angeles area at that time in the late 60s: It's classic America before LA turned into the sess-pit it is now. Putting it into perspective, "Dragnet" has some endearing qualities, but Jack Webb's cue card production style gets an F from me.
Diff'rent Strokes
(1978–1986)
Rest in Peace Mr. Bain
27 March 2013
*******Seven Out Of Ten Stars*******
The true star of this show, Conrad Bain, died this past January in the year of 2013. In my humble opinion, Bain really held this show together through the years. He was the only cast member to appear in all 180 episodes. And Bain always offered what I thought were the best comedic one liners in the series; and clearly was the most polished actor of anyone that ever appeared on the show. Other highlights of the show included the seemingly unending supply of guest stars: Reggie Jackson, Dorothy Hamill, Nancy Regan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Captain Lou Albano, Muhammad Ali, Milton Berle, and of course, Mr. T. Pretty incredible stuff. Also worth mentioning, is much of the social commentary the writers often tried to weave into the scripts; it didn't always work, but when it was did, it was really touching. Some of the episodes dealt with some pretty adult serious issues: Robbery, sexual abuse, racism, sexism.... it was progressive writing for the time. "Different Strokes" has a special place in my mind and in my heart. So God rest Plato, Coleman, and Bain.
The true star of this show, Conrad Bain, died this past January in the year of 2013. In my humble opinion, Bain really held this show together through the years. He was the only cast member to appear in all 180 episodes. And Bain always offered what I thought were the best comedic one liners in the series; and clearly was the most polished actor of anyone that ever appeared on the show. Other highlights of the show included the seemingly unending supply of guest stars: Reggie Jackson, Dorothy Hamill, Nancy Regan, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Captain Lou Albano, Muhammad Ali, Milton Berle, and of course, Mr. T. Pretty incredible stuff. Also worth mentioning, is much of the social commentary the writers often tried to weave into the scripts; it didn't always work, but when it was did, it was really touching. Some of the episodes dealt with some pretty adult serious issues: Robbery, sexual abuse, racism, sexism.... it was progressive writing for the time. "Different Strokes" has a special place in my mind and in my heart. So God rest Plato, Coleman, and Bain.
Tales from the Darkside
(1983–1988)
Nostalgic 80's Low Budget Late Night Classic
23 March 2013
*****Five Out Of Ten Stars***** What made me scared as an 80's child, now just mostly makes me laugh. George Romero and Richard Rubenstein spearheaded TFTD, which is really one of the main reasons I still enjoy watching an occasional episode. I pretty much enjoy everything Romero has produced in his career, but am honest with myself about much of his work; in that some of Romero's work just isn't that good. Let's just be honest here folks, a lot of Romero's work is just plain hammy. Don't get me wrong, I still love most of it. It's hard to judge TFTD because every episode was different and unique. So I kind of averaged all the episodes out and gave it five out of ten stars or two stars out of four; which I feel is more than fair. I'm guessing some of the inflated ratings are based mostly on nostalgia. My estimate is that 25% of the episodes were above average, another 25% were average, another 25% were below average, and the remaining episodes were just plain terrible. I do plan on eventually purchasing the DVD box set, so don't get me wrong. On a closing note, the guest stars were almost always great to watch and opening and closing credits are a stroke of genius.
Pretty Good Stuff
16 November 2011
*******Seven Out Of Seven Stars*******
One Sentence Summary: The last of the Elm Street children, who are now residents of a psychiatric hospital, are terrorized by Kruger as he sets out to finish the job.
Review Summary: I viewed this sequel based on the many positive reviews about part three, and indeed, it was an excellent film. Which begs the question: Why is it so difficult for film makers to turn out quality horror sequels? You'd actually think it would be easier for writers to work with an established idea? Anyway, "Nightmare 3" is great stuff. It's great because the Elm Street kids are all very likable. Heather Langenkamp returns from part 1 as Nancy and brings a nostalgic feel to the picture. Craig Wasson, playing Dr. Neil Gordon, is absolutely wonderful and very likable. And of course, Englund, is stellar; as he spews out Kruger one liners. Part 3 is actually pretty well written, as the children are able to fight back in the nightmares using their imaginations; a wonderful concept that's foolishly abandoned after this sequel. Did I forget to mention the special effects? Because THEY ARE incredible! The rock band Dokken adds to all this greatness with the song "Into The Fire", which was incidentally replaced with the track "Quiet Cool" by Jay Ferguson on Laser-disk issues. So all in all, this is one of the better horror sequels around; it really has everything going for it. I highly recommend it.
One Sentence Summary: The last of the Elm Street children, who are now residents of a psychiatric hospital, are terrorized by Kruger as he sets out to finish the job.
Review Summary: I viewed this sequel based on the many positive reviews about part three, and indeed, it was an excellent film. Which begs the question: Why is it so difficult for film makers to turn out quality horror sequels? You'd actually think it would be easier for writers to work with an established idea? Anyway, "Nightmare 3" is great stuff. It's great because the Elm Street kids are all very likable. Heather Langenkamp returns from part 1 as Nancy and brings a nostalgic feel to the picture. Craig Wasson, playing Dr. Neil Gordon, is absolutely wonderful and very likable. And of course, Englund, is stellar; as he spews out Kruger one liners. Part 3 is actually pretty well written, as the children are able to fight back in the nightmares using their imaginations; a wonderful concept that's foolishly abandoned after this sequel. Did I forget to mention the special effects? Because THEY ARE incredible! The rock band Dokken adds to all this greatness with the song "Into The Fire", which was incidentally replaced with the track "Quiet Cool" by Jay Ferguson on Laser-disk issues. So all in all, this is one of the better horror sequels around; it really has everything going for it. I highly recommend it.
The Strangers
(2008)
Great Start, Bad Finish
13 November 2011
*******Six Out of Ten******
Nine producers were employed in the making of this film. I've seen this trend with several other terribly produced horror films that I reviewed recently. Is this a recent trend in the film business, or what? Because it's a bad idea. And it's evident in "The Strangers" that more than one person produced it, because the film really has no linear balance. There are a lot of great things going for "The Strangers" in the beginning, but that goes out the window as the film progresses towards the middle and ending. So basically, what could've been a 8 or 9 star movie, ended up being a 5 or 6 star movie. The bottom line is that nine producers and six production companies (Rogue Pictures, Intrepid Pictures, Vertigo Entertainment, Mandate Pictures, and Mad Hatter Entertainment) insure that a film WILL NOT have a unique and singular artistic vision. Perhaps a better coordinated production could re-do this film based on the first half and completely throw out the latter half.
Nine producers were employed in the making of this film. I've seen this trend with several other terribly produced horror films that I reviewed recently. Is this a recent trend in the film business, or what? Because it's a bad idea. And it's evident in "The Strangers" that more than one person produced it, because the film really has no linear balance. There are a lot of great things going for "The Strangers" in the beginning, but that goes out the window as the film progresses towards the middle and ending. So basically, what could've been a 8 or 9 star movie, ended up being a 5 or 6 star movie. The bottom line is that nine producers and six production companies (Rogue Pictures, Intrepid Pictures, Vertigo Entertainment, Mandate Pictures, and Mad Hatter Entertainment) insure that a film WILL NOT have a unique and singular artistic vision. Perhaps a better coordinated production could re-do this film based on the first half and completely throw out the latter half.
Twilight
(I) (2008)
It Is What It Is
13 November 2011
******Seven Out of Ten******
Upset movie goers need lay off this film, as it's clearly billed as a teenage "chic-flick". So what do people expect when they go into to see the film? Gratuitous sex? Buckets of blood? Over the top profanity? Give me a break. "Twilight" lives up to exactly what it's billed as: A teenage vampire love story. I went expecting these things and received exactly that. The other major complaint registered by film goers relates to the way in which the vampires are portrayed: A much tamer, furrier version than most of us are accustomed to. I was fine with the vampire characteristics in "Twilight"; it was a refreshing change of pace. Why in the hell do vampires need to be exactly the same in every horror film ever made? It's actually not a bad idea to tweek monster norms, in a day and age in American film inundated by terrible remakes and other recycled ideas. So just back off "Twilight" people and direct your criticism more appropriately at main stream studios refusing to financé any new budding horror creators or any fresh horror ideas that don't guarantee a fast buck.
Upset movie goers need lay off this film, as it's clearly billed as a teenage "chic-flick". So what do people expect when they go into to see the film? Gratuitous sex? Buckets of blood? Over the top profanity? Give me a break. "Twilight" lives up to exactly what it's billed as: A teenage vampire love story. I went expecting these things and received exactly that. The other major complaint registered by film goers relates to the way in which the vampires are portrayed: A much tamer, furrier version than most of us are accustomed to. I was fine with the vampire characteristics in "Twilight"; it was a refreshing change of pace. Why in the hell do vampires need to be exactly the same in every horror film ever made? It's actually not a bad idea to tweek monster norms, in a day and age in American film inundated by terrible remakes and other recycled ideas. So just back off "Twilight" people and direct your criticism more appropriately at main stream studios refusing to financé any new budding horror creators or any fresh horror ideas that don't guarantee a fast buck.
Prom Night
(I) (2008)
Not Funny, Not Scary, Not Sexy, Not Entertaining.........
13 November 2011
***Three Out of Ten Stars***
Where does one begin to try to explain what a complete debacle of a disgrace this film is? Right off the bat, you know you're in trouble when a film production needs eight different producers to get off the ground. This means you have eight different people pulling in eight different creative directions, even if they delusion-ally believe they're all headed in the same direction; they're not. I don't need to re-numerate all the negative aspects of this film which have already been posted on this web site. What I will say, is what a terrible shame Sony dropped $20,000,000 on this waste of a film. Imagine the long line of creative, budding horror film makers that would've jumped at the chance to work with a mere $5,000,000; and in turn, undoubtedly, producing a unique and artistic horror film creation. But instead of adding to the artistic ingenuity of the horror genre, Sony drops this pile of crap in our laps. Thanks for nothing Sony.
Where does one begin to try to explain what a complete debacle of a disgrace this film is? Right off the bat, you know you're in trouble when a film production needs eight different producers to get off the ground. This means you have eight different people pulling in eight different creative directions, even if they delusion-ally believe they're all headed in the same direction; they're not. I don't need to re-numerate all the negative aspects of this film which have already been posted on this web site. What I will say, is what a terrible shame Sony dropped $20,000,000 on this waste of a film. Imagine the long line of creative, budding horror film makers that would've jumped at the chance to work with a mere $5,000,000; and in turn, undoubtedly, producing a unique and artistic horror film creation. But instead of adding to the artistic ingenuity of the horror genre, Sony drops this pile of crap in our laps. Thanks for nothing Sony.
An American Haunting
(2005)
A True Rip Off of A Real Life Ghost Tale
12 November 2011
****Four Out of Ten Stars****
A young girl is tormented by a demon in rural, early 1800's, Tennessee after her father makes the mistake of crossing paths with a witch regrading a land ownership dispute. Did you know there are fifteen producers credited to this film? Perhaps that's why it's a complete and total mess of a train wreck. The original Bell Witch tale is truly intriguing and actually quite terrifying. But writers Brent Monahan and Courtney Solomon thought it was a good idea to modify the story to their liking. Wrong! This film is a complete and total rip off of a farce. I was in utter disbelief that film professionals could decide to end a picture in such a graceful manner; not to mention the repetitiveness and stupidity of the rest of the film. It's actually a shame, because the cinematography, setting, and ambiance are all quite effective throughout; really a true waste. Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek are wasted almost as much as the backdrop setting. All the producers had to do, was to be faithful to the original true to life story. But Hollywood once again proves, what a complete and total mess that Southern California industry is in right now.
A young girl is tormented by a demon in rural, early 1800's, Tennessee after her father makes the mistake of crossing paths with a witch regrading a land ownership dispute. Did you know there are fifteen producers credited to this film? Perhaps that's why it's a complete and total mess of a train wreck. The original Bell Witch tale is truly intriguing and actually quite terrifying. But writers Brent Monahan and Courtney Solomon thought it was a good idea to modify the story to their liking. Wrong! This film is a complete and total rip off of a farce. I was in utter disbelief that film professionals could decide to end a picture in such a graceful manner; not to mention the repetitiveness and stupidity of the rest of the film. It's actually a shame, because the cinematography, setting, and ambiance are all quite effective throughout; really a true waste. Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek are wasted almost as much as the backdrop setting. All the producers had to do, was to be faithful to the original true to life story. But Hollywood once again proves, what a complete and total mess that Southern California industry is in right now.
Survival of the Dead
(2009)
These Keep Getting Worse
12 November 2011
****Four Out of Ten Stars****
If you're listening Mr. Romero, please quit while your behind. I actually worship Romero's work up until "Diary of the Dead"; which is the point where I stopped and thought: "What the hell is wrong with George?" His latest addition "Survival" is a complete disgrace. Devoid of suspense, lacking energy, failing on the sound-score... Lazy, lazy, lazy. I mean, if you're tired Mr. Romero, retire or take a nap. It's actually quite upsetting for me, because I place so much stock in almost every other film and television production he's worked on prior to "Diary". It's quite saddening. The plot of "Survival": Two red neck Irish clans duke it out for control of a secluded island off the upper East coast of the States, amidst a zombie epidemic. Ugh. I can't go on. What a mess. Just stop Romero and let us remember you for "Day of the Dead".
If you're listening Mr. Romero, please quit while your behind. I actually worship Romero's work up until "Diary of the Dead"; which is the point where I stopped and thought: "What the hell is wrong with George?" His latest addition "Survival" is a complete disgrace. Devoid of suspense, lacking energy, failing on the sound-score... Lazy, lazy, lazy. I mean, if you're tired Mr. Romero, retire or take a nap. It's actually quite upsetting for me, because I place so much stock in almost every other film and television production he's worked on prior to "Diary". It's quite saddening. The plot of "Survival": Two red neck Irish clans duke it out for control of a secluded island off the upper East coast of the States, amidst a zombie epidemic. Ugh. I can't go on. What a mess. Just stop Romero and let us remember you for "Day of the Dead".
Predators
(2010)
Unimaginative, Lazy Writing
12 November 2011
****Four Out of Ten Stars****
What can be said here? So much potential squandered on lazy writing. And a $40,000,000 budget to boot! Wow! And this is the best Fox could come up with? Writers Alex Litvak and Michael Finch sh-lop together a story about human predators somehow abducted from Earth and somehow air lifted to an unknown planet so the Predator species can hunt them for sport. Yeah, nothing really original or interesting about that. The concept is just plain lazy, but perhaps they were rushed into writing this crap. Don't forget the addition of a secondary race of Super-Predators, who have much larger sex organs than the original Predators; well sort of. Anyway, the story board wastes it's time on the miscast leads, actors Adrien Brody and Alice Braga, who both phone in their performances and are completely miscast. Meanwhile, the most interesting characters, played by actors Louis Ozawa Changchien, Laurence Fishburne, Danny Trejo, and Oleg Taktarov, are almost ignored and disposed of much much too soon; it's a disgrace these four characters were wasted. Regardless, it's not as if the original "Predator" was anything noble. So how could we expect much more than mediocrity from a film such as this?
What can be said here? So much potential squandered on lazy writing. And a $40,000,000 budget to boot! Wow! And this is the best Fox could come up with? Writers Alex Litvak and Michael Finch sh-lop together a story about human predators somehow abducted from Earth and somehow air lifted to an unknown planet so the Predator species can hunt them for sport. Yeah, nothing really original or interesting about that. The concept is just plain lazy, but perhaps they were rushed into writing this crap. Don't forget the addition of a secondary race of Super-Predators, who have much larger sex organs than the original Predators; well sort of. Anyway, the story board wastes it's time on the miscast leads, actors Adrien Brody and Alice Braga, who both phone in their performances and are completely miscast. Meanwhile, the most interesting characters, played by actors Louis Ozawa Changchien, Laurence Fishburne, Danny Trejo, and Oleg Taktarov, are almost ignored and disposed of much much too soon; it's a disgrace these four characters were wasted. Regardless, it's not as if the original "Predator" was anything noble. So how could we expect much more than mediocrity from a film such as this?
Trick 'r Treat
(2007)
Light-hearted Hallowen Horror Classic
12 November 2011
**********Ten Out Of Ten Stars**********
It amazes me this film was never released in theaters, because it's turned into my all time favorite Halloween horror movie classic. For those of us who have the holiday of Halloween on the top of our favorite list, this film is a pure delight. Halloween scrooges are punished, Halloween bully's are taught lessons, and justice prevails for the keepers of the Halloween flame. True, the film lacks in jump scares, gore, nudity, profanity, and terror; but it more than compensates with Halloween ambiance and good old fashion story telling. The film is sewn together seamlessly with four different Halloween tales about people Hell bent on ruining the night of Halloween. "Trick 'r Treat" is a finely polished production piece: Acting, directing, editing, sound, lighting, scenery, and most of all, the plot. Is my rating of 10 excessive? Probably. But what a shame this film was shelved for so many years and then released straight to video. Do your family a favor, and make this movie a yearly Halloween tradition in your home.
It amazes me this film was never released in theaters, because it's turned into my all time favorite Halloween horror movie classic. For those of us who have the holiday of Halloween on the top of our favorite list, this film is a pure delight. Halloween scrooges are punished, Halloween bully's are taught lessons, and justice prevails for the keepers of the Halloween flame. True, the film lacks in jump scares, gore, nudity, profanity, and terror; but it more than compensates with Halloween ambiance and good old fashion story telling. The film is sewn together seamlessly with four different Halloween tales about people Hell bent on ruining the night of Halloween. "Trick 'r Treat" is a finely polished production piece: Acting, directing, editing, sound, lighting, scenery, and most of all, the plot. Is my rating of 10 excessive? Probably. But what a shame this film was shelved for so many years and then released straight to video. Do your family a favor, and make this movie a yearly Halloween tradition in your home.
Roseanne
(1988–2018)
I Worship Roseanne's Yearly Halloween Specials
28 January 2011
********Eight Out Of Ten Stars********
For those of you who don't know: ABC fought against Roseanne's desire to produce yearly Halloween specials. ABC felt that by producing Halloween specials, they could very well offend the loyal "Bible Belt" viewers that might stop watching the show because of "Satanic" undertones. Unbelievable right? Well, it's true. Yes, there are many many people in this country that to this day believe that Halloween is Satanic. Hah! If more people picked up books once in a while, they might understand better that the holiday of Halloween is a Celtic holiday based on honoring and respecting nature and honoring loved ones that have passed in the recent year. Anyway, the reason I say all of this is because this is exactly how Roseanne Barr felt about the situation.... And! She got her way! Producing yearly Halloween specials that I'm sure any Roseanne fan is familiar with, as they surely are some of her best episodes.
Regardless, this television show truly is one of the best shows ever produced on the American boob tube. I remember watching the episodes as they were released new, and when I see them today, I get a very very special feeling inside of me. It's a feeling of comfort and warmth that few sitcoms have produced for me. Don't get me wrong though, the show wasn't fall out of your chair laughing material; but it is exceptionally produced. Barr cared about her show, and you can tell. I don't want to say the show was reality, but it sure was a lot more realistic than just about every other sitcom ever produced. Constant money problems, alcohol abuse, homosexuality, and racism were but a few of the many real life problems that this program successfully incorporated into it's weekly programming. I can't think of another sitcom in the history of television that dared to confront real life problems so successfully on a weekly basis. But alas, all good things must come to an end. The latter years of the show weren't all that great. In fact, you could feel the death spiral beginning around 1994. But, it happens to the best! And Roseanne truly is one of the best. Thank you Roseanne, for all the memories.
For those of you who don't know: ABC fought against Roseanne's desire to produce yearly Halloween specials. ABC felt that by producing Halloween specials, they could very well offend the loyal "Bible Belt" viewers that might stop watching the show because of "Satanic" undertones. Unbelievable right? Well, it's true. Yes, there are many many people in this country that to this day believe that Halloween is Satanic. Hah! If more people picked up books once in a while, they might understand better that the holiday of Halloween is a Celtic holiday based on honoring and respecting nature and honoring loved ones that have passed in the recent year. Anyway, the reason I say all of this is because this is exactly how Roseanne Barr felt about the situation.... And! She got her way! Producing yearly Halloween specials that I'm sure any Roseanne fan is familiar with, as they surely are some of her best episodes.
Regardless, this television show truly is one of the best shows ever produced on the American boob tube. I remember watching the episodes as they were released new, and when I see them today, I get a very very special feeling inside of me. It's a feeling of comfort and warmth that few sitcoms have produced for me. Don't get me wrong though, the show wasn't fall out of your chair laughing material; but it is exceptionally produced. Barr cared about her show, and you can tell. I don't want to say the show was reality, but it sure was a lot more realistic than just about every other sitcom ever produced. Constant money problems, alcohol abuse, homosexuality, and racism were but a few of the many real life problems that this program successfully incorporated into it's weekly programming. I can't think of another sitcom in the history of television that dared to confront real life problems so successfully on a weekly basis. But alas, all good things must come to an end. The latter years of the show weren't all that great. In fact, you could feel the death spiral beginning around 1994. But, it happens to the best! And Roseanne truly is one of the best. Thank you Roseanne, for all the memories.
Silent Night, Deadly Night
(1984)
The KING of Trashy Horror Christmas Classics
2 February 2010
********Eight Out of Ten Stars********
The plot is based upon a little boy who witnesses his parents being murdered on Christmas Eve by a robber dressed as Santa Clause. After being placed in a Catholic orphanage, and being treated with the usual incompetent state and private rehabilitative causes, this boy grows up to be a young man unable to control his drive to murder on Christmas.
As a die hard horror film maniac, who finally viewed this film for the first time on Christmas day of 2009, I wonder, why did I wait so long to see this movie? This film was simply incredible in every possible way. I've decided to buy it on DVD and make it a yearly viewing tradition in my household. "Silent Night Deadly Night" attempts to elicit many varying emotional responses from audience members: Fear, pity, laughter, sorrow, just to name a few. This movie is way more than just another slasher flick.
There's a tremendous amount of social commentary wrapped up here, including the ridiculousness of traditional Catholic discipline. Throw in some bullies and miserable co-workers getting murdered, and this film is actually sort of therapeutic for those of us who've been traumatized by these types of societal pricks.
The story is pretty well done; my only complaint is that Billy didn't spend more time in the film breaking into random homes on Christmas Eve. I believe there was only one random home break-in, and that simply wasn't enough. The scare factor would have ratcheted up had the producers taken advantage of these home invasions on Christmas Eve.
Acting wise, the film is so so. Some of the acting is incredible and some of it's hammy cheese. The only thing is, is that the hammy cheese acting seems almost intentional, and really kind of adds flavor to the gritty sleazy overall feeling of the film. So at the end of the day, I would be safe to say the acting is more than acceptable, considering the budget and the overall type of film this was trying to be.
The producers knew full well what kind of sleazy, offensive movie they were making here, and they don't try to make it out to be anything other than that. And that's why I love this movie, it's honest and real; unlike most of the fake ass crap that Hollywood has gotten in the habit of making lately.
From a technical perspective, I don't think one could have asked for much more from a budget of this size. The directing, cinematography, editing, and sound are all at the very least average. And what more can you ask from a movie of this stature. I mean, they weren't trying to win an Oscar with this film. Oh, and the sound score was pure 1980's beauty; all the songs included were nostalgic hits for me.
The only other complaints I have, besides the lack of home invasions, is for one, that the film wasn't longer. It came in at slightly over an hour and twenty minutes, which wasn't enough for an iconic eighties sleaze fest. My other complaint was that the producers didn't film this specifically around Christmas. While there is snow, you can tell the producers threw up some Christmas lights on a couple houses to complete the Christmas affect, and it just wasn't enough to complete a true Christmas feeling.
All in all, I love this film. It's a true American sleaze classic that deserves respect. I recommend it to all true blue horror fans and to conservative religious mothers who are overprotective of their sheltered children :) Merry Christmas! And God bless us everyone!
The plot is based upon a little boy who witnesses his parents being murdered on Christmas Eve by a robber dressed as Santa Clause. After being placed in a Catholic orphanage, and being treated with the usual incompetent state and private rehabilitative causes, this boy grows up to be a young man unable to control his drive to murder on Christmas.
As a die hard horror film maniac, who finally viewed this film for the first time on Christmas day of 2009, I wonder, why did I wait so long to see this movie? This film was simply incredible in every possible way. I've decided to buy it on DVD and make it a yearly viewing tradition in my household. "Silent Night Deadly Night" attempts to elicit many varying emotional responses from audience members: Fear, pity, laughter, sorrow, just to name a few. This movie is way more than just another slasher flick.
There's a tremendous amount of social commentary wrapped up here, including the ridiculousness of traditional Catholic discipline. Throw in some bullies and miserable co-workers getting murdered, and this film is actually sort of therapeutic for those of us who've been traumatized by these types of societal pricks.
The story is pretty well done; my only complaint is that Billy didn't spend more time in the film breaking into random homes on Christmas Eve. I believe there was only one random home break-in, and that simply wasn't enough. The scare factor would have ratcheted up had the producers taken advantage of these home invasions on Christmas Eve.
Acting wise, the film is so so. Some of the acting is incredible and some of it's hammy cheese. The only thing is, is that the hammy cheese acting seems almost intentional, and really kind of adds flavor to the gritty sleazy overall feeling of the film. So at the end of the day, I would be safe to say the acting is more than acceptable, considering the budget and the overall type of film this was trying to be.
The producers knew full well what kind of sleazy, offensive movie they were making here, and they don't try to make it out to be anything other than that. And that's why I love this movie, it's honest and real; unlike most of the fake ass crap that Hollywood has gotten in the habit of making lately.
From a technical perspective, I don't think one could have asked for much more from a budget of this size. The directing, cinematography, editing, and sound are all at the very least average. And what more can you ask from a movie of this stature. I mean, they weren't trying to win an Oscar with this film. Oh, and the sound score was pure 1980's beauty; all the songs included were nostalgic hits for me.
The only other complaints I have, besides the lack of home invasions, is for one, that the film wasn't longer. It came in at slightly over an hour and twenty minutes, which wasn't enough for an iconic eighties sleaze fest. My other complaint was that the producers didn't film this specifically around Christmas. While there is snow, you can tell the producers threw up some Christmas lights on a couple houses to complete the Christmas affect, and it just wasn't enough to complete a true Christmas feeling.
All in all, I love this film. It's a true American sleaze classic that deserves respect. I recommend it to all true blue horror fans and to conservative religious mothers who are overprotective of their sheltered children :) Merry Christmas! And God bless us everyone!
Children of the Corn
(1984)
Atmospheric Horror Marred By Closing Special Effects
23 January 2010
*******Seven out of Ten Stars*******
A young doctor and his wife fall off track on a cross country trip, winding up in a small town called Gatlin. It turns out Gatlin has been taken over by a cult of religious fanatics operated by children. The doctor and his wife soon find themselves running for their lives, as they look for a way to escape Gatlin and "The Children of the Corn"
This is an 80's horror classic, whether or not you want to admit it. Most of the hatred this film garners is because of the closing special effects. I understand why people hate the F/X in this film, but I don't quite agree when people flunk an entire 90 minute film because of two minutes of special effects tacked onto the very end. In defense of the film makers, the budget for "Children" was pitiful. On the other hand, the producers just should have tried ending this film in a more appropriate way, namely a way that didn't include God awful special effects.
The rest of the film is fairly well done, considering the large number of child actors involved. The sound score is delightful 80's horror creep-ness, the location used for shooting is quintessential small town America, and the religious child sect is pulled off with panache and style that Satan himself would be proud to be a part of. This writer also personally feels as if the cinematography was above average, as was the directing; it couldn't have been easy working with all those children.
This film just has a great atmospheric 80's small town, satanic, feel to it; and I love it. The satanic corn folk art is worth a view as well. There are some quality jump scares and some of the special effects nearer to the middle of the running time are actually pretty decent. Linda Hamilton is fun to watch in the role of Vicki and the characters that lead the child cult, Isaac and Malachai, are a blast to see in action. This is a low budget horror flick with some really original atmospheric components, that's all. For me, I'll take this film and it's shaky special effects over any modern day CGI slop fest.
A young doctor and his wife fall off track on a cross country trip, winding up in a small town called Gatlin. It turns out Gatlin has been taken over by a cult of religious fanatics operated by children. The doctor and his wife soon find themselves running for their lives, as they look for a way to escape Gatlin and "The Children of the Corn"
This is an 80's horror classic, whether or not you want to admit it. Most of the hatred this film garners is because of the closing special effects. I understand why people hate the F/X in this film, but I don't quite agree when people flunk an entire 90 minute film because of two minutes of special effects tacked onto the very end. In defense of the film makers, the budget for "Children" was pitiful. On the other hand, the producers just should have tried ending this film in a more appropriate way, namely a way that didn't include God awful special effects.
The rest of the film is fairly well done, considering the large number of child actors involved. The sound score is delightful 80's horror creep-ness, the location used for shooting is quintessential small town America, and the religious child sect is pulled off with panache and style that Satan himself would be proud to be a part of. This writer also personally feels as if the cinematography was above average, as was the directing; it couldn't have been easy working with all those children.
This film just has a great atmospheric 80's small town, satanic, feel to it; and I love it. The satanic corn folk art is worth a view as well. There are some quality jump scares and some of the special effects nearer to the middle of the running time are actually pretty decent. Linda Hamilton is fun to watch in the role of Vicki and the characters that lead the child cult, Isaac and Malachai, are a blast to see in action. This is a low budget horror flick with some really original atmospheric components, that's all. For me, I'll take this film and it's shaky special effects over any modern day CGI slop fest.
A Christmas Carol
(1984 TV Movie)
"God Bless Us, Everyone!"
23 January 2010
*********Ten out of Ten Stars*********
It's hard to believe this was a made for television movie. Just the phrase, "made of TV", makes me shudder. The production values for made for TV movies are almost always remarkably lower than production values for professional movie studios. That being said, this version of the "Christmas Carol" should have been released in theaters, because it IS that good. It's my personal favorite of all the "Christmas Carol" movies because every aspect of this production are of the highest quality. Yes, there are some minor on screen glitches with two of the ghosts that visit Scrooge, but there isn't a movie in existence that doesn't have at least a couple of mistakes.
Scott turns in a stellar performance as Scrooge, he's a pleasure to watch. In fact, I can't think of one performance in this film that shouldn't be applauded. The costuming, location shooting, and winter backdrop are mesmerizing. The musical score is endearing and heart warming. Add to that, solid directing, flawless cinematography, and faithful scripting; we have here what will one day be considered a holiday classic. It really hasn't been around long enough to be a classic, but mark my words, one day soon it will be. This film has turned into a yearly Christmas tradition in my home because it embodies the true meaning behind Christmas: Love, selflessness, and giving. In as selfish, greedy world, my family and I can lose ourselves in "The Christmas Carol", starring George C. Scott.
It's hard to believe this was a made for television movie. Just the phrase, "made of TV", makes me shudder. The production values for made for TV movies are almost always remarkably lower than production values for professional movie studios. That being said, this version of the "Christmas Carol" should have been released in theaters, because it IS that good. It's my personal favorite of all the "Christmas Carol" movies because every aspect of this production are of the highest quality. Yes, there are some minor on screen glitches with two of the ghosts that visit Scrooge, but there isn't a movie in existence that doesn't have at least a couple of mistakes.
Scott turns in a stellar performance as Scrooge, he's a pleasure to watch. In fact, I can't think of one performance in this film that shouldn't be applauded. The costuming, location shooting, and winter backdrop are mesmerizing. The musical score is endearing and heart warming. Add to that, solid directing, flawless cinematography, and faithful scripting; we have here what will one day be considered a holiday classic. It really hasn't been around long enough to be a classic, but mark my words, one day soon it will be. This film has turned into a yearly Christmas tradition in my home because it embodies the true meaning behind Christmas: Love, selflessness, and giving. In as selfish, greedy world, my family and I can lose ourselves in "The Christmas Carol", starring George C. Scott.
Freaks
(1932)
Bring the Freak Shows Back!
29 December 2009
********Eight Out of Ten Stars********
Just about everything positive and necessary has already been written about this film on IMDb. Hopefully my comments will at least come close to giving some relatively new insights into this strange film. No matter how you feel about this film, you must admit that it's at least to be considered an important entry into the world of film making.
"Freaks" is about a clan of physically deformed traveling performers whom have formed a tightly formed family that watches out for, and cares for one another. Essentially, if you hurt one freak, you hurt all the freaks. This concept of socially rejected freaks banding together to protect and care for one another is the cornerstone of this film. This idea touched me and made me feel sorry for the freaks, I pitied them and empathized with them.
The formed unity amongst outcasts is highlighted by a a midget named Hans, who is manipulated by a beautiful trapeze artist planning on marrying him to steal his money. When the freaks learn of the trapeze artists plan to poison Hans and take his money, the freaks exact revenge; culminating in the film's very bizarre closing scene.
The scenes utilizing the most deformed of the freaks are disturbing and uncomfortable. All of the freaks are real life people with physical abnormalities, that willingly volunteered to act in the film. The use of these real life deformities evokes emotional response from the audience: including fear, pity, disgust, sadness, and empathy. It's a truly effective method on the part of director Browning, one he should be applauded for.
Overall, this film is pretty much a masterpiece: At the risk of sounding ordinary and mundane, I'll point to the superb acting, directing, and writing. My only two complaints are that the film is too short and that at times it drags because of incessant talking. I mean the film is essentially one dialogue scene after another; there is very little action until the very end of the film. I wasn't expecting an action adventure here, but Browning should have relied heavily upon his deformed actors throughout the film to provide scares, not just in the last five minutes.
On a closing note, I did want to mention my true desire to see these freak-show carnival spectacles to become part of the American landscape once again. Not long after the release of the films, socially conscious activists starting putting pressure on carnivals and circuses to end these traveling freak shows. Over the past 70 or so years, it's gotten more and more socially unacceptable to display these willing physically deformed persons. My problem is, is that these the freaks in these traveling carnivals are and were willingly participants in these freak shows. But because some rich conservative Christian wives with too much time on their hands thought it to be immoral and indecent, freak shows have become social taboos.
Modern day society greatly disapproves of freak shows; some states have even gone so far as to make them illegal. People should get over this overly sensitive pompous nonsense and allow these freak shows to once again become a part of the American landscape. Listen, if the physically deformed are willing and accepting of their roles as traveling freaks, allow it to happen. Bring the freak shows back, please.
Just about everything positive and necessary has already been written about this film on IMDb. Hopefully my comments will at least come close to giving some relatively new insights into this strange film. No matter how you feel about this film, you must admit that it's at least to be considered an important entry into the world of film making.
"Freaks" is about a clan of physically deformed traveling performers whom have formed a tightly formed family that watches out for, and cares for one another. Essentially, if you hurt one freak, you hurt all the freaks. This concept of socially rejected freaks banding together to protect and care for one another is the cornerstone of this film. This idea touched me and made me feel sorry for the freaks, I pitied them and empathized with them.
The formed unity amongst outcasts is highlighted by a a midget named Hans, who is manipulated by a beautiful trapeze artist planning on marrying him to steal his money. When the freaks learn of the trapeze artists plan to poison Hans and take his money, the freaks exact revenge; culminating in the film's very bizarre closing scene.
The scenes utilizing the most deformed of the freaks are disturbing and uncomfortable. All of the freaks are real life people with physical abnormalities, that willingly volunteered to act in the film. The use of these real life deformities evokes emotional response from the audience: including fear, pity, disgust, sadness, and empathy. It's a truly effective method on the part of director Browning, one he should be applauded for.
Overall, this film is pretty much a masterpiece: At the risk of sounding ordinary and mundane, I'll point to the superb acting, directing, and writing. My only two complaints are that the film is too short and that at times it drags because of incessant talking. I mean the film is essentially one dialogue scene after another; there is very little action until the very end of the film. I wasn't expecting an action adventure here, but Browning should have relied heavily upon his deformed actors throughout the film to provide scares, not just in the last five minutes.
On a closing note, I did want to mention my true desire to see these freak-show carnival spectacles to become part of the American landscape once again. Not long after the release of the films, socially conscious activists starting putting pressure on carnivals and circuses to end these traveling freak shows. Over the past 70 or so years, it's gotten more and more socially unacceptable to display these willing physically deformed persons. My problem is, is that these the freaks in these traveling carnivals are and were willingly participants in these freak shows. But because some rich conservative Christian wives with too much time on their hands thought it to be immoral and indecent, freak shows have become social taboos.
Modern day society greatly disapproves of freak shows; some states have even gone so far as to make them illegal. People should get over this overly sensitive pompous nonsense and allow these freak shows to once again become a part of the American landscape. Listen, if the physically deformed are willing and accepting of their roles as traveling freaks, allow it to happen. Bring the freak shows back, please.
Hallow's End
(2003 Video)
Was This A Student Film Project?
19 December 2009
***One Out of Ten Stars***
Because if it was, it gets an F. Holy Mother Mary of God was this bad. I mean, I gave it every reasonable accommodation considering it was a straight to video film, but it let me down at every turn. Like so many other B movies, the basic storyline was decent and the filmmakers seemed to have a reasonable level of resources, but the execution was ridiculous. It's a shame they attached the good name of Halloween to this fiasco.
The basic premise surrounds some frat douche bags hosting their annual Halloween haunted house fund raiser, when a satanic spell book shows up out of nowhere and hurls the frat boys into a living hell. Well that's the idea anyway, but instead most of the film is devoted to displaying these frat boy's relationship escapades, abound with an outrageous lesbian subplot. Very little of the actual story is devoted to Halloween or the mysterious spell book. It actually makes me mad that the film makers thought they could get away with making such dribble.
The film is essentially about frat boy relationships. This IS NOT what the movie is billed as. I'm tempted to track down the producers and at the very least threaten them with bodily harm. The acting is about as bad as it gets, it's atrocious! The script is unintentionally funny. The cinematography is just plain lazy. The whole film is amateur night. This movie actually makes the SyFy channel movie productions look like masterpieces.
The last half hour of the film felt like the film makers realized they weren't producing a soap opera and had to throw in some sort of horror sequences. The evil spell book finally comes into play and turns everyone in the haunted house into the character their dressed up as. I almost feel like crying as I write this review. Wow! I mean wow! This thing was an undecipherable chopped up disaster.
Because if it was, it gets an F. Holy Mother Mary of God was this bad. I mean, I gave it every reasonable accommodation considering it was a straight to video film, but it let me down at every turn. Like so many other B movies, the basic storyline was decent and the filmmakers seemed to have a reasonable level of resources, but the execution was ridiculous. It's a shame they attached the good name of Halloween to this fiasco.
The basic premise surrounds some frat douche bags hosting their annual Halloween haunted house fund raiser, when a satanic spell book shows up out of nowhere and hurls the frat boys into a living hell. Well that's the idea anyway, but instead most of the film is devoted to displaying these frat boy's relationship escapades, abound with an outrageous lesbian subplot. Very little of the actual story is devoted to Halloween or the mysterious spell book. It actually makes me mad that the film makers thought they could get away with making such dribble.
The film is essentially about frat boy relationships. This IS NOT what the movie is billed as. I'm tempted to track down the producers and at the very least threaten them with bodily harm. The acting is about as bad as it gets, it's atrocious! The script is unintentionally funny. The cinematography is just plain lazy. The whole film is amateur night. This movie actually makes the SyFy channel movie productions look like masterpieces.
The last half hour of the film felt like the film makers realized they weren't producing a soap opera and had to throw in some sort of horror sequences. The evil spell book finally comes into play and turns everyone in the haunted house into the character their dressed up as. I almost feel like crying as I write this review. Wow! I mean wow! This thing was an undecipherable chopped up disaster.
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