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Reviews
Moon of the Wolf (1972)
A Werewolf Murder Mystery With Southern Flavor
Overall, this is not a terrible film. It is made for television, and it doesn't have "blockbuster" written all over it, but it does have likable characters and a relatively interesting plot.
It begins with the murder of a young girl, Ellie, who appears to have been attacked by wild dogs. Sheriff Aaron Whitaker (David Janssen) arrives on the scene and has the local doctor perform an autopsy, which reveals a head injury that could not have been caused by wild dogs. Hence, the little backwoods Louisiana town has a murder on their hands. As time goes on, Sheriff Whitaker searches from suspect to suspect, to later discover that the killer is, in fact, a werewolf.
Like many of those who have recently seen this movie for the first time, I got my copy of MOON OF THE WOLF from a cheap public domain collection, specifically Mill Creek's "SciFi Classics" 50 Movie boxed set. I do believe this movie is also available in other such collections and can likely be found for free online. It's not a bad movie for fans of werewolf-themed mystery, although I dare say this is not science fiction, nor is it horror in any sense other than the general content of a lycanthrope.
Queen of the Amazons (1946)
Queen of National Geographic
Like many of the other people who might be watching this movie these days, I caught this as part of Mill Creek's "SciFi Classics" 50 Movie Pack, and no, I have no idea what this movie has to do with Science Fiction. It's really more of a safari adventure with a group of white folks in some far eastern jungle (the name of the town in the beginning is "Akbar," but damned if I know where that is; the stock footage suggests India) surrounded by overly friendly natives and other white folks. In truth, most of the natives were genuine, but only because this movie is filled with stock footage. The stock footage, in fact, takes up a large portion of this film, with narration apparently written around it detailing events that, outside of the stock footage, is never actually shown.
The movie opens with a small group of Americans showing up in the jungles of the far east, searching for one Greg Jones, son of Colonel Jones (John Milijan) and fiancé of Jean Preston (Patricia Morison). During their expedition, they hear talk of a tribe of white women, known as "white she-devils." They are thought to have some connection to the disappearance of Greg Jones, and, of course, my first thought is that Greg encountered them and figured it might be worth sticking around--you know, as the one guy in a society of women. Sounds like a pretty good deal, don't you think? Sure enough, Greg (Bruce Edwards) has gotten his hands in the pants of the tribe's leader, a rather attractive brunette named Zita (Amira Moustafa) who speaks broken English in a high-pitched, nasal voice. She sort of reminds me of Sarah Palin, to be honest.
Since Greg has taken up residence amongst Zita and the She-Devils, it seems only reasonable that Jean should submit to the proposals of another man. In this case, the other man is Gary Lambert (Robert Lowery), the expert that they brought along on their mission. Oddly enough, when Jean finds out that Greg has been getting it on with Zita, she seems fairly unconcerned; likewise, Greg doesn't really care at all that Gary has taken an interest in his ex-fiancé. This is what cinema was like in the days before Jerry Springer, I guess. By the end of the movie, Gary marries Jean, and Greg marries Zita. The whole thing is very Shakespearian, if Shakespeare had filled his plays with fighting animals and dancing African natives residing in the far east.
QUEEN OF THE AMAZONS: Honestly, if you're interested in seeing this movie, it's best to seek it out online. It can probably be found for free somewhere amongst the cyberclutter. This one is for fans of the era and the genre only...all three of them.
Mais ne nous délivrez pas du mal (1971)
One Sleazeburger, Hold the Sleaze
I recently purchased this movie under the English title DON'T DELIVER US FROM EVIL to add to my growing collection of Euro-trash titles, thinking it was of the same ilk as the works of Jesus Franco and the like. While it does have some schlock elements, this movie is evidently based on a true story ("based" being the operative word, I'm sure) about two Catholic schoolgirls who decide, for whatever reason, to dedicate their lives to Satan. Overall, it's not a bad story, but it's an attempt at a tragic tale with very little sympathy being earned for the two protagonists.
The two schoolgirls, Anne (Jeanne Goupil) and Lore (Catherine Wagener), begin this story in a convent, hiding under a bed. They've come across some lesbian erotica apparently owned by one or two nuns. I was sort of expecting there might be some softcore porn as time went on, but to no avail--and worry not, the two actresses playing these roles were actually around the age of twenty when this was filmed. They've dedicated their lives to the dark side of the force, and as the movie progresses, they continue doing some rather awful things to the people around them, including: telling a priest about the lesbian nuns, killing some poor guy's pet birds, and setting fire to several bails of hay on some farm. Probably the worst of it is their tendency to deliberately tempt two different men with their underage bodies, only to almost end up getting raped in the process; both of these scenes are somewhat difficult to watch. It is the two latter events that brings in the sleaze element to this movie, the second of which results in their killing the man in question. After this, things go pretty much downhill for the duo.
The story itself isn't terrible, although it does drag on at times. The general design and the score do bring a certain aesthetic to the movie, but that might not be enough for some viewers. The ending is rather interesting, if not bizarre, as it does contain some laughable elements. Is it worth watching? Well, don't go in expecting something along the lines of gore and heavy nudity, and you might enjoy it. Sounds like Peter Jackson covered the story years later with HEAVENLY CREATURES, and I can only imagine he did a much better job with it. Maybe it's best to check out that version instead.
Zombi 2 (1979)
Zombi 2: One of the best of its kind
ZOMBI 2 (otherwise known in the U.S. as just ZOMBIE and, in the U.K., as ZOMBIE FLESH EATERS) is one of the best known zombie flicks to come out of Europe during the 70's and 80's. For those of you who have not yet seen an Italian zombie flick, this movie is a pretty good place to start, as this is probably the best of its type--although it does contain the weaknesses and general cheesiness that one should expect, given its genre and origins.
The story goes that, way back in '78, a fairly well-known little zombie movie was released in the United States called DAWN OF THE DEAD, created by the man who more or less created the flesh-eating zombie genre, George A. Romero. It was released overseas under the title ZOMBI, and was outrageously popular. It was so popular, in fact, that Lucio Fulci decided to do his own flesh-eating zombie movie, titled GLI ULTIMI ZOMBI. Producers evidently decided that Fulci's movie should take advantage of ZOMBI's popularity, so they slapped on a new opening and closing scene and re-titled the movie ZOMBI 2, giving audiences the impression that it was the sequel to ZOMBI. In reality, the two movies have almost nothing to do with each other.
For those who have never seen an Italian zombie movie, keep this in mind: generally speaking, all of these movies contain obvious voice dubbing, even when the actors are speaking English. The zombies move slowly, but manage to catch their victims anyway--typically, those under attack spend more time standing still and screaming than running or fighting back. Heck, most of the characters you'll see will do anything but make logical decisions, even when they aren't faced by walking corpses. There's also a staple in horror Euro-trash cinema that someone has to get an eye gouged out, and the eye gouge has to come very, very slowly.
Additionally, ZOMBI 2 contains a famous round of zombie versus shark, to be discovered by a nearly naked young woman underwater. I should also note that nudity and gore are also staples of the genre, and this movie is no exception.
The plot is pretty simple. A ghost ship appears in New York City from the island of Matul in the Antilles--a ghost ship, except, of course, for two carnivorous zombies, who quickly dispatch the two officers sent to investigate. It turns out the ship belonged to one Dr. David Menard, and his daughter, Anne Bowles (Tisa Farrow), decides to search for him, fearing the worst. She is met by a journalist, Peter West (Ian McCulloch), who agrees to help her find her father at Matul. So they set out together for the Antilles, and manage to hitch a ride to the island via ship with a young couple (Al Cliver and Auretta Gay). When they arrive, they do find Dr. Menard (Richard Johnson), but unfortunately, they also find hordes of flesh-eating zombies, apparently animated by either a plague or some sort of voodoo curse. From there, the story just involves a lot of zombies eating people, which is really the whole point of the movie.
Is this worth watching? I certainly thought so. The special effects are actually fairly good, and the zombies are a lot less corny than those seen in the other zombie flicks to come out of Europe. Like I said, those who have never seen one of these types of movies might do well to start with this one.
Kiss Daddy Goodnight (1987)
Uma, you are a dirty girl...
I picked this up very, very cheap in a bargain bin somewhere (I won't mention the name of the store, but I'm sure you'll figure it out anyway), deciding to give it a chance because of the early appearances of Uma Thurman and Steve Buscemi, as well as one of the few appearances of Paul (older brother of Matt and Kevin) Dillon. I won't call it out-and-out terrible, but it was not, by far, one of the better movies of its type.
This somewhat confused thriller features the lovely and very young Uma Thurman as Laura, a woman who takes on multiple identities and seduces older, wealthy men, drugs them, and robs them. Among her gentlemen is William Tilden (Paul Richards), a cultured man with a pet rabbit who buys her gifts in exchange for her (non-sexual) company. Unfortunately, it appears that Tilden has more than just an innocent fondness for Laura, and the relationship leads him to fuel more than a little of the conflict seen in this movie.
Meanwhile, a younger friend of Laura's, Sid (Paul Dillon), is down on his luck and she does her best to look out after him. Neither Sid nor Laura are exactly upstanding citizens, but their relationship is honest, for the most part.
Additionally, Steve Buscemi has a small scene as the sleazebag guitarist Johnny, for whom Sid spends much of the first part of the film searching.
While this movie does remain in my collection due to its relative obscurity and strange plot movements, it is not well done on any end of the spectrum except, perhaps, for the performances of Thurman and Richards, who work quite well together. The lighting is substandard and there have been numerous complaints listed on IMDb about the sound quality. This is definitely not a movie for everyone, although it does appear that some folks enjoy it. Rent or purchase this one at your own risk.
The Incredible Petrified World (1959)
It wouldn't be a diving bell without some ding-dongs.
Needless to say, this is not a good movie. It's barely an adequate movie, although if the name Ed Wood were attached to it (and, based on what I've seen, it almost could be), it might get some better reviews.
THE INCREDIBLE PETRIFIED WORLD begins in a manner similar to a nature film: it's shark versus octopus, round one! Quick spoiler: the shark wins. From there, we're introduced to Professor Millard Wyman (John Carradine), who has invented some sort of diving bell. Really, what we're seeing is a large balloon on the outside and a considerably larger set representing the inside. They talk on and on about this diving bell throughout the film, so expect that dead horse to get beaten even deader. From here, a four-person diving crew--two men, two women--are sent out to sea in the bell, with the intention of having them dive below the surface to a record depth. Instead, the cable on the bell snaps, and the foursome are dropped to the bottom without a lifeline, apparently doomed to suffocate.
Instead, the four discover they haven't fallen quite as far as they thought, and they attempt to surface without regard to getting the bends. They find themselves in a cavernous area (maybe one or two sets worth) with a strongly vaginal opening, where they roam around in search of an exit. During their time, they encounter some stock footage of a gila monster, a skeleton, and eventually a caveman who, for whatever reason, knows he's been there for fourteen years. The caveman tells them that there's no escape, even though they really aren't that far from the surface (as is later revealed) and he evidently takes a liking for the one of the women, only to get killed by a volcano eruption after trying to molest her.
Long story short (too late), the foursome end up getting rescued when the good Professor Wyman finds the diving bell which, oddly enough, is right where they left it.
There are plenty of older movies out there that were good for their time, this is not one of them. There are also plenty of movies out there that are "so bad, they're good," in that in spite of the incompetence of those who made them are absolutely hilarious and fun to watch--again, this is not one of them. Very little of interest ever happens over the course of this movie, as I'm sure others will attest to. Keep in mind that this is a public domain movie, and it can be found online for free, so don't waste your money trying to track down a copy of it. It is also included on Mill Creek/Treeline's "SciFi Classics" 50 movie pack, which is a fairly cheap way of acquiring it along with several movies that are much more interesting.
The Devil's Hand (1961)
The Rise and Fall of the Cult of Gamba
THE DEVIL'S HAND, a very cheap movie from the early sixties, represents an early phase of trash cinema, part of a series of "Satansploitation" or "Cultsploitation" movies. I managed to watch this movie as part of a Mill Creek 50 movie boxed set ("Chilling Classics"), so I can only assume that it is probably available online for free. Anyone wanting to just check this out should google it.
In this rendition of devil-worship themed movies, we meet Rick Turner (Robert Alda) and his steady sweetie, Donna Trent (Ariadna Welter). Things are going well for the couple in their almost sexless relationship until Rick starts having visions of a blonde woman who dances around and beckons him. Soon after, Rick discovers a doll that looks exactly like the blonde woman sitting in the front window of a doll shop. It turns out that the doll shop is actually a front for the evil cult of the devil-god Gamba, and in back, there's a ceremony room complete with a mechanical chandelier loaded with both fake and real knives. The blonde woman is Bianca Milan (Linda Christian), a bona-fide witch who can project herself into dreams and hypnotize people from a distance.
The Gamba Cult is adept at voodoo doll use and hypnotism, both of which they are reasonably good at using to control others. Unfortunately, they have a major weakness in the security area, because a news reporter and his chum, both of whom don't even bother dressing like proper Satanists, are able to attend regular ceremonies. Only the clumsiness of the news reporter, a man who takes many notes and drops them accidentally, keeps the cult from total media exposure.
Anyway, the plot is pretty predictable, Rick gets to have some fun with bad girl Bianca, and eventually the cult is punished via incineration (ooo...the irony...) and Rick escapes with Donna. It's a drive-in movie with a feel-good ending, and that's all there is to it.
THE DEVIL'S HAND isn't too bad a movie if you're into this sort of thing, but the casual movie-goer probably won't get much out of it. At least it can be seen very, very cheaply.
Drive In Massacre (1976)
So a couple of horny kids got themselves chopped up by some kook...
The first and most important thing to say about DRIVE-IN MASSACRE is that it is, in fact, a very poorly done movie. People who are looking for quality cinema of any kind should avoid this, although I dare say it is hardly "the worst movie ever made," unless hyperbole is the only means by which you can communicate. The real question of this movie isn't whether it's bad or good; it is whether it's so bad, it's good. For those who like competent camera work, plot progression, and performance, this movie is not for you--make no mistake, DRIVE-IN MASSACRE is the bottom of the barrel (keeping in mind this is coming from someone who believes there is a level below the bottom).
The other most important thing to say about this movie is that it is public domain. It can probably be found online for free, and it is available in a number of multi-movie boxed sets (including at least one of the sets with fifty movies). If you really, REALLY want to see it, it is available. As for whether or not you should see it, well...
As the title suggests, this is a standard slasher film, originally made for screenings at drive-in theatres during the 1970's. And really, the goal for the drive-in audience wasn't really to be entertained by what was on the screen, but rather, to have what was shown on the screen assist patrons in getting into the pants of other patrons. For those gore hounds, there are some good bloody shots in this movie, and there's one bare-breast shot barely worth noting, but the shocks are cheap and will probably only coax the most squeamish of special ladies into the laps of their horny gentlemen.
The plot revolves around, predictably, a series of slasher-style murders taking place at a local drive-in in Anytown, USA. The killer, in this case, is using a sword as his murder weapon, and there are, coincidentally, at least two characters in this movie who were, at one time, experts on sword use. At first, it seems like the killer only targets young couples who are prematurely pregnant. Our red herring, a standard in slasher flicks, is an amusing case as well--another killer, played by horror veteran George "Buck" Flower (he plays the mumbling old man in just about every horror flick out there) is found and shot down, only for the police to discover he's the wrong killer.
So, for what its worth, DRIVE-IN MASSACRE does have an audience, just not a wide one. I found it amusing, and others will as well, but don't get your expectations too high for this one. I'd call it "So Bad, It's Kind of Good." Some of the dialogue, what can be heard, is rather amusing. The owner of the drive-in theatre, Austin Johnson (played by a man known only as Newton Naushaus), has some snide but humorous one-liners, especially while chiding the police.
Carnival of Souls (1962)
It was the 1960's. People drag raced at 15 mph all the time.
Before the days of Herschell Gordon Lewis, when heavy gore in the average horror movie started to become a staple, filmmakers had to scare audiences in other ways. Through mood, lighting, and plot movement, CARNIVAL OF SOULS manages to accomplish just as much horror as any modern flick.
This is the story of Mary Henry (Candice Hilligoss), a church organist who, one fateful day, finds herself in the passenger side of a car engaged in a drag race. Granted, the cars are obviously moving very slowly, but they do race across a bridge. Suddenly, Mary and her friends plummet off of the bridge (it doesn't clearly show why this happens) and the credits roll. Later, Mary is seen rising up from the waters below, cold and wet but otherwise unharmed.
This is only the beginning for poor Mary, as she starts having flashes in which everything around her goes silent and people completely ignore her, as though she didn't exist. She also begins seeing a pale, ghastly man everywhere she goes. The man torments her relentlessly, later joined by an ensemble of zombie-like people who pursue her.
In spite of the somewhat campy dialogue and effects, CARNIVAL OF SOULS does stand up to the test of time and is very much worth watching for fans of older horror movies. It is currently public domain, so anyone wishing to see it might be able to find it for free online.