Reviews

"Freddy got fingered" is not really a movie, but rather one big joke being played by Tom Green that works very well! Think about it, he spent a few million of his or someone else's cash and just made this wild and crazy full length film that had nothing but cheap jokes and pointless humor. And what's wrong with that? I give Green and his producers credit; they managed to alienate a lot of people which was the whole plan all along. Didn't you see "The Tom Green Show?". It was a guy who went around and ticked people off. While some people put this in their Bottom 100, I rate it in my top 25 mainly because the mission of the filmmaker was accomplished! Who cares if it has dumb gross out humor and exploitation? You think Green doesn't realize this? I also found it very funny. The "Backwards Man" Scene was funny on such a basic level as was the scene where he dresses up in the scuba gear and shows his father the "treasure" he found in the shower. Even Green's character in the movie wastes his big cartoonist paycheck on playing a massive joke on his dad, and that's exactly what he did to all the people that went to see "Freddy got fingered." Gotcha!

'Unbreakable' contains everything a good movie asks for. Good lighting, use of music and cinematography. The acting is good, the directing is good. It has the feel of an interesting and suspensful movie But... THIS PLOT IS A JOKE!!! Come on now. This is the dumbest idea for a movie, I'm sorry. A guy who can't get hurt...a sort of...Super HERO!! I can't take this film seriously because of what the story is telling me...I can't do it. I respect M. Knight Shaakdfjkadjfl's work, but he could have found a better story to put his talents into. I was laughing hysterically at Sam Jackson's character and the part where the kid pulls the gun on Bruce Willis..HAH! I can understand how people give this a good rating because it was done well in a technical sense...but like I said the story just is too ridiculous. I would have liked to see 'The Twilight Zone' do this in a half-hour segment..it might have been a thousand times better. If you want to see good film-making by all means rent 'Unbreakable'. If you want to laugh hard at a cheesy plot, by all means rent 'Unbreakable." I give it 2 out of 10.

Few films have had an effect on viewers (at least for me) like 'American History X.' The movie gives us excellent characters and a meaningful plot and send a timeless message..."hate is baggage." The story involves Danny (Ed Furlong) and his brother Derek(Ed Norton). Danny is a punk and his teacher makes him write an essay after Danny does a book report on Mein Kampf. Danny eventually decides to just start writing about his older brother and skin-head leader, Derek. He tells about the family's past, how the father was killed by some black men and how Derek began to gain prestige as a Nazi Skinhead gang leader... Then Derek gets out of prison for murdering 2 black men. Now a changed man, he tries to steer his younger brother away from the Nazi Skinhead movement by giving him his story of being in prison and how horrible it was. This creates conflict in Danny who tried so hard to be like is older brother and is already deep into the local skinhead group. The film does an excellent job of striking emotions in the viewer. As a white man, I cringed when Derek stomps on the black man's head while making him bite the curb, but I could sort of sympathize with Derek as he goes off on a rant at the dinner table about how minorities bring down the system. The film does this constantly to us: IT uses triumphant music, humor, and character strengths to make us believe in Derek. We cheer when the skinheads beat the black guys in basketball for possession of the courts, but then we want to strangle Derek and his buddies when they terrorize the local convenience store which employs minorty workers. This is the other way the film gets us, by making us angry at the skinhead group and ultimately sympathetic again for Derek and his family at the film's end. The acting is incredible throughout the film. Norton was horribly snubbed as best actor in '98 for this movie. The characters are believable and we learn to care about them. Even if you are sensitive to racial issues or squeamish about profanity or nudity, you should not avoid 'American History X'. It is very powerful and may change the way you feel about certain people. You don't want movies to tell you WHAT to do, but this one, like 'Boyz n the hood' gives you an idea of what might happen if you don't have an open mind. Life is way too short to be p****d off all the time. Near perfect...9 out of 10.

'Con Air' represents everything wrong with the action film genre. Granted, I loved the Die Hards and some of Arnold's work, but this film is just way too much in terms of ridiculous logic and loud bang-bangs. The plot involves a too-good-to-be-true wrongly accused prisoner (of course he has no true flaws) played by Nicholas Cage, on his way home after being released. He can't wait to see his wife and daughter, but one problem: he is put on a plane with a group of the most dangerous criminals in the country, including John Malkovich as Cyrus 'the Virus' who have plans of their own. (old John was clearly collecting a good pay check here to pay off that mansion.) Others in the gang include Ving Rhames, Steve Buscemi, and Danny Trejo. You might say this is an impressive cast in an opressive story. Even more absurd is Cage's southern accent that makes Dennis Quaid's Any Given Sunday accent look as authentic as a NASCAR driver's. This movie is non-stop catch phrases and explosions, the kind of thing that pays John Woo's bills and makes a ton at the box office. I'm all in favor of selling out every once in a while. Hell, like the Tupac song says "Hey, I gotta get paid."... But 'Con Air' is on a level of it's own. It's dumb, real dumb. Mind-numbing dumbness. If you make it through the film, you're in a for a real treat of an ending. This is laughable: Cage gets to see his family (CUE THE SAPPY POP-LOVE MUSIC!!). You're sitting there thinking this can't be not a parody, but it's true...and I don't get why they make Steve Buscemi's character, the sickest of all the criminals get away at the end!! The movie makes you want to cheer for him and laugh as he gambles in the films last shot at a casino. WHy should we all of a sudden like this guy..he eats CHILDREN!!! The bottom line is there is no bottom line: the movie just sinks and sinks into bad-movie Hell. "Cy-Anorra"... 3 stars out of 10.

I just watched 'Subterfuge' while flipping through the crappy encore channels you get with digital cable...It's movies like this which make me think I still have a shot at getting into the business. This movie is obviously not to be taken seriously by viewers..but How producers, writers, directors, ACTORS take this seriously while making it is beyond me. Matt McColm deserves an oscar for strutting around with no shirt and doing his jump off a high ledge and screaming "Aaaaahh!!" while attempting to tackle a bad guy. And although Amanda Pays still looks good since 'Leviathan', she offers us little when she is supposed to be the girl that McColm has sex with while carrying out his 'beat the bad guys' mission.

This movie looks like an 80 minute Baywatch episode, except with cheesier music and less T & A. Lovely editing job by the filmmakers- check for the shot of Pays and McColm pulling away in the speedboat MULTIPLE times. But the scene that takes the cake is when the bad guys drop a grenade in Matt's boat while he wines and dines three babes, then we cut to him punching one bad guy in the face on the beach...PRICELESS. I give this movie 1 out of 10 stars...a must see for anyone who has nothing to do on a saturday before finals week.

This movie is about a guy who learns he has a few months to live while his wife is pregant with their son. He wants his son to remember him so he begins to videotape himself talking to his unborn son and teaching him things about life. He also learns to come to terms with his anger, mostly towards his family and past which he has coldly tried to block out. Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman give excellent performances as the couple expecting. The movie has a wonderful message...'Life is too short to be angry all the time' More girls like this movie than guys as far as I know, but guys don't shun it. 'My Life' will move you if you open up. I can honestly say this (along with Deerhunter) came as close to making me cry as humanly possible. But I internally held my sorrow and further reinforced the societal masculine standard of 'boys don't cry' unfortunately. There are a few scenes in particular that are tough to watch with a dry eye. The ending of course, and the part where Keaton and Kidman share an unexpected hug while in a busy theme park. This is a well done scene with nice complimentary music that sets the tone. The entire movie does this. It plays with our emotions by using deep music and meaningful messages. We should all identify with Keaton's character who learns a lot about life as it comes to an end. This is a 7 out of 10 in my book.

'Child's Play' is a fairly original horror story. A kid's doll gets possessed by a serial killer and the doll terrorizes his family and others while trying to get into the boy's body through voo-doo magic.

I remember an old Twilight Zone episode with the Talking Tina doll that was fairly similar. It was good because we never actually saw the doll DO anything except talk and threaten. 'Child's Play' does the same for a good chunk of the movie. The suspense is excellent, and Chucky is terrifying even when not active! We start to see Chucky move and talk, and curse and chase people but it does not ruin the movie. The effects are pretty good, and as a child, this movie is traumatizing. Of course now at 21, I laugh at this movie as do most critics, but I remember renting it when it first came out on video years ago and it changed my sleeping habits. Chucky gave me nightmares well into high school (i'll admit!). I could barely look at my sister's dolls alone in the dark. The sequels are silly and unnessecary, but the original Chuck is worth a friday night alone when you have nothing else to do. As a horror film fan, this ranks in my top 5, as a movie fan in general is won't even crack my top 50. But like I said, keep it away from off-beat dreamy children. "This is the end...friend."

I was not alive when "The Exorcist" came out in theaters. However I was blessed with the good fortune of being able to experience the film in theater when "The Version You haven't seen" came out a few years ago. This stands as the greatest movie theater experience of my life (barring a Texas Chainsaw Massacre or 2001 Space Odyssey Re-Release). The plot isn't as terrifying for non- strict Catholics I guess, but this is still a great film. Every single frame in the movie is visually spine-chilling. Even the scene where Father Karras is running on the track has no in-the-face cursing or demonizing, but just the scene itself is cold and creepy. THe whole movie has that 'cold' feeling. (I urge anyone with the DVD and a good sized TV to turn out all the lights, and turn off your heat in the winter time. curl up in a blanket and watch this film.) Most people trash this as cheesy and laughable, but if you just see it as a visual piece of art you'll be impressed. I never really believed I or someone will be possessed, but I will honestly say I have had a nightmare about that devil face they show for a split second 3 times during the film. The re-release version has some added scenes, but either way this is quality. I 'll give it an 8...not for being scary necessarily, but for being visually masterful. See it.

Imagine for a second you are a TV exec. for Comedy Central and you are deciding what show to put on your 10:30 Pm Sunday time slot. Along comes this complete idiot with a show idea where he sits in a chair with a stupid sidekick and tells horribly unfunny jokes and shows bad skits? If your like the execs from Comedy Central in the late summer of 2001, then you are missing several key brain cells. This was the absolute worst show ever to grace the air waves. A dumb-looking guy names Chris Wylde and his teenage sidekick "Forty" sit on stage and have a lame talk show. His desk is littered with little child's toys and figurines. (yeah, i know). There's this awful rock band playing in between commercials and these horrid sketches. Not to mention these 5th rate guests that make Conan O'briens' look like America's 50 most inetersting people.

Some shows we may not like, but can tolerate. Even when a large majority hates a show (there are many anti-Stern and Anti-South park people no doubt) there is always that cult following large or small, always enough to keep the show running anyway. The Chris Wylde show never came close to having this. I don't think anyone in this world liked this show. No one could realte because this guy was not funny. The audience was obviously paid as they struggled to pretend laugh. Comedy central had churned out some really awful programming over the years but this takes the taco. Maybe "make me laugh" has a case to plead...maybe, but even it could not sink as far as "Wylde". I bet these episode tapes were destroyed as soon as they exited the VCR at 11PM on sundays. Hopefully we will never have to endure them again. Shame on you, comedy Central for showing this nonsense....What was "Forty"'s deal anyway. some 15-year old Stoner wannabe who sat in a recliner and erased all dignity previously acquired...I am calling on anyone out there, ANYONE AT ALL to tell me why they found this show funny.

Monstervision is my all time favorite TV show. Joe Bob Briggs and his cheesy movies helped me get through countless tough Saturday nights. Even though I fell asleep during the second movie every week, I especially enjoyed Joe Bob's rants before each show and his tidbits in between commercials as well as Rusty the mail girl and obscure guests such as Linnea Quigly, Zachary Ty Bryan and Eugene Levy. The movies were great also. (the Guyver, Embrace of the Vampire, Voodoo, The Beastmaster, et. al. i recall Joe Bob's Friday the 13th marathon on Halloween being a real treat. I don't understand what happened to this great show. I came home from college for the summer one year and it was just gone. No explanation, no farewell show, just nothing!! Another network should pick up Monstervision or even just give Joe Bob another similar show. It had a cult following and no real competetion at 1:30 AM on saturdays...whats the problem??

Someone please get Joe Bob back on the air. He is THE MAN.

Most films these days consists of recycled plots and stale characters. "Donnie Darko" takes immense exception. This film is dark and disturbing, yet hilarious at times. This is not just another cult movie that film-nuts can throw into their collection and keep secret to the average new-movie renter. It deserves to be seen by anyone because it is original. It truly is something new and unique. The concept of this film seems very uninteresting...A delusional teenager has visions of a giant scary-looking bunny rabbit who tells him to committ acts of violence. Please don't be turned off. Give "Donnie" a chance. You may not take a great life lesson from it, but if anything you will be entertained. The film offers some great original dialogue (including a conversation about the sexual nature of "Smurfette", the only "female" smurf in "The Smurfs" cartoon.) and some good old fashioned strange scenes. You don't have to be a Tarantino or David Lynch fanatic to enjoy this one. I'm sure the "cult" movie lovers will eat this film up, but it really is a sharp movie.